The House At Flynn's Crossing

by Elisabeth Rose

  ‘Sorry,’ he said as he went back through the living room. The twins had turned off the television and were reading the books they’d brought with them, still snuggled amid the red cushions. ‘I caught up with some emails.’

  ‘Did you get the insurance sorted?’

  ‘Yes, but it’ll take a while for the money to come through. I can rent a car in the interim.’

  ‘That’s good except you can’t drive it.’

  ‘Hmm. Maybe I …’

  ‘You can’t,’ she said firmly. ‘You’ll have another smash.’

  ‘I can’t keep asking people to drive me all over the place.’

  ‘No one would mind.’

  ‘I would.’

  Antonia lifted a strand of pasta from the pot and tested it. ‘This is ready. Go and sit down. Twins, dinner’s ready.’

  His rarely used dining table was set with a bowl of salad, bread, cutlery and plates. The wine bottle and glasses of water for the children were already in place. Flynn took his half-full glass from the bench and sat down, amazed at the difference a woman made in his house. This woman. She’d only been here about an hour and already the place felt like a home. The fragrance of food cooking, the chatter of children’s voices, the pile of shoes in the foyer, four places at the table.

  Was she right about accepting the past as over? That he was as entitled to have his own family as anyone else? If he accepted that, and right now it was a very appealing argument, the problem remained that the family he wanted was this one. Antonia and Sarah and Jacob, living in his house, bringing warmth and colour and love to his world. But Antonia didn’t love him the way he was beginning to love her, hopelessly and forever.

  The twins climbed onto the high-backed wooden chairs opposite and slurped down water. Antonia placed a bowl of steaming sauce and another of pasta on the table. She served the twins, Flynn and herself and fussed about with salad and parmesan before settling to eat.

  Flynn raised his glass. ‘To the blackout.’

  She snorted with laughter and clinked her glass against his and the twins.

  ‘And chocolate cake,’ added Sarah.

  ‘Absolutely. Here’s to chocolate cake.’

  Silence descended, broken only by munching and the clink of cutlery.

  ‘This is very good!’ said Flynn.

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘I’d like to go to Italy one day.’

  ‘It’d be lovely but I can’t see myself going anywhere for a while.’

  ‘There are lots of places to visit in Australia,’ he said. ‘Plenty the twins would enjoy.’

  ‘I know. I suppose one day I could drive us somewhere for a holiday.’ She meant herself and the twins. He meant with him included. Family holidays.

  Was he mad? Just because she said he deserved to be happy didn’t mean she wanted to be involved in providing the happiness. After what she’d endured, she deserved to live by her own rules. Just like the promise of another kiss, the first move would have to come from her.

  After dinner and cake, Antonia began packing up her carry bags and stacking the dishwasher.

  ‘We should go soon.’

  ‘It’s still nasty out there. Why don’t we stay here tonight?’ Flynn asked as casually as possible. ‘I have a couple of spare rooms.’

  Antonia looked up from her packing. ‘All of us?’

  ‘Yes, of course. Why not?’ He couldn’t hide the surprise.

  ‘I thought you might want to stay here alone.’

  ‘You’ve already pointed out I can’t manage by myself yet. And the power might not be back on. If we stay here we can check it out tomorrow after breakfast. We can cook here.’ He smiled. ‘And have hot tea and coffee.’

  A shadow swept over her face. ‘I should take the twins home.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘It’s getting late.’

  ‘Okay, if you insist. I’ll get the candles and a torch.’ He turned for the laundry but her voice stopped him.

  ‘Do you want to come with us?’ She sounded doubtful, but was it more that she would rather he stayed here? Had he outworn his welcome? ‘If you don’t mind. I’m sorry, I thought …’ He grimaced. She’d said he could stay till Sunday. He wanted to be with her, where didn’t matter.

  ‘No, it’s fine. It’s just … I thought … nothing.’ She made no move to pick up the carry bags but looked at the twins who were half asleep, ensconced on the couch again with the red cushions. ‘Do you have room for us?’

  ‘I have two spare rooms. There’s a queen-sized bed in one and a double in the other. Take your pick.’

  She hesitated, pondering her decision. Made up her mind. ‘They’d be happier if we share the queen. Thank you.’

  Fortunately, he always had the bed made up so it was easy to provide towels and another pillow. After being washed and the outer layer of clothing removed, the twins happily climbed into the big bed. He left Antonia tucking them in and went back to the living room with a small glow of happiness in the region of his heart. This is what being part of a family would feel like. He began making tea, slowly and carefully with his limited strength and movement.

  But why would she think he wanted to stay here on his own and send her back to a dark, cold house? Was it a residual lack of self-esteem, a result of being treated as an object by that monster of a man? When she reappeared, he said, ‘Antonia, I’m really happy to be staying with you and I want to thank you again for taking me in. I only suggested we stay here tonight because of the power situation, nothing else.’

  She joined him in the kitchen and took over the tea making, standing beside him intent on the task, her hair a curtain obscuring her cheek until she tucked the strands behind her ear. ‘Are you sure? This house …’ She waved an arm vaguely, ‘… it’s so much more comfortable than mine. The furniture, the kitchen, the bathroom, the fittings, everything is so much better …’

  He plunged. ‘Not everything.’

  She laughed softly. ‘Oh, yeah? Like what?’

  ‘You. This house doesn’t have you in it.’ His voice caught on the truth of the words.

  The exposed cheek turned a deep pink. The tea was ready but she stayed facing the bench, head bowed. He risked moving closer, stroking the silky length of hair from her shoulder, gently turning her face to his, knowing at any moment she might shy away.

  ‘You are the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever met. Every time I see you I’m amazed at how beautiful you are, how strong you are and how brilliantly you look after the twins. I want to be near you, Antonia. Always. Forever.’

  ‘Flynn,’ she whispered. He placed gentle fingers against her soft lips. Her eyes were soft, moist with unshed tears as she gazed at him, but she was trembling. Was it fear?

  ‘I know,’ he said. ‘I know you don’t want a man in your life messing it up, getting in your way. I know that but I can’t help the way I feel about you and I just had to tell you.’

  Antonia closed her eyes against the passion in Flynn’s voice and the way those blue eyes penetrated to her soul. She’d longed to hear him say those words, longed to feel him close beside her, be in his arms … When he was missing she’d been distraught with worry, wanted to be special to him. But it was all in theory, a kind of fantasy. Now, in the searing moment of reality, she had no idea what to do with the overwhelming declaration he gave her and the emotions powering through her body. Her breath came in jerky spasms and she teetered on the edge of an abyss so vast and terrifying one small movement might topple her over the edge. If she succumbed to her desire, could she follow through with what he would understandably expect? No, not yet …

  She leaned against the solid bulk of the bench, gripping with fingers tense as claws, legs weak and shaking.

  Flynn moved away. ‘Antonia, it’s okay. You don’t need to say anything.’

  He poured tea. She heard the liquid gurgling into the mugs and the clink of china, and slowly opened her eyes. Flynn was two paces away holding his mug, leaning on the bench and staring i
nto the living room, his expression incomprehensible.

  Her hand shook as she picked up her tea but the hot drink soothed her. Was he angry?

  ‘Wind’s dying down,’ he said after a while. He walked across and opened the curtains onto the back garden and peered out. ‘Rain’s still coming down pretty hard.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I’m … you surprised me. I’m not ready …’

  ‘I know. Don’t worry about it. It’s my problem, not yours.’

  What was he thinking? In her present jangled state she couldn’t tell, but a man like Flynn wouldn’t be used to the reaction she’d given him to his declaration. No man would be happy if the woman he’d opened his heart to couldn’t hide her fear at his words. And she’d told him he should try to get close to someone. What kind of heartless creature did that make her?

  ***

  The Mango House and tree had escaped the storm unscathed and the morning sun shone, making diamonds sparkle from the newly washed leaves and blades of grass. Josef’s riotous display of flowers was slightly bent and some had fallen flat but otherwise nothing was damaged. The power was back on when the twins ran inside to check. ‘The lights are working,’ yelled Jacob.

  ‘Good.’ Antonia lugged the carry bags through to the kitchen and began unpacking while Flynn took his bag of extra clothes to his room.

  The embarrassing exchange may as well not have happened for all the signs he showed this morning. He was his usual self with her and the twins but she couldn’t help the nagging feeling that something had shifted in their basic relationship. What had been an easy friendship now had the undercurrent of unfinished emotions, of words still to be spoken and feelings not fully explored. Or was this all on her side alone?

  He’d be going home soon so she need only survive the next few days. They’d go to Kurrajong for a new phone in the morning and afterwards she could drop him at his office. There were plenty of people who would drive him home if necessary.

  On Tuesday she’d be at work and so would he. After that … life would return to normal. If she could forget what he’d said and the way he’d looked at her as he said it.

  After lunch, Kev and two of his boys came over from next door to remove the fallen branch from the garden shed. Antonia didn’t even realise they were there until a chainsaw burst into life. The twins came rushing out to see but sat out of harm’s way on the verandah steps to watch, as she instructed.

  ‘G’day, love.’ Kev cut the saw as she approached. ‘Storm made a bit of a mess, thought we’d get rid of it for you.’

  ‘Thanks very much. I hadn’t even begun to think how I’d do that.’

  ‘You’re lucky, it’s only dented the roof a bit. The main part didn’t reach the fence.’

  Antonia looked up at the tall gums along the back of the properties. ‘They’re beautiful trees.’

  ‘Yeah, but treacherous in a storm. And there’s always the fire danger in summer. If they put that road through it’ll make a bit of a break.’

  ‘What road?’

  ‘They reckon Baldessin is putting his fancy resort over the back there on Bruce Curtin’s land. Along the ridge. The only decent access is from this side so they’d have to come in from the outskirts of town out past the motel somewhere. It’s long way though.’

  ‘I hadn’t heard about that.’

  ‘Better ask Flynn,’ he said with a little smile. He started the chainsaw and Antonia retreated to the house.

  Was that what his meeting had been about? Why hadn’t he mentioned the second part of his news when Baldessin had phoned? Bron was right, that man wasn’t satisfied with a low-budget hostel at all. But it was a much better site because it didn’t physically affect anyone in town but was still close enough for the local businesses to reap the benefits of the extra cashed-up visitors. Flynn must be pleased.

  He was in the kitchen watching through the screen door. ‘Nice of Kev,’ he said.

  ‘Yes, they’re terrific neighbours. Why didn’t you tell me about Baldessin’s new plans for the land over the back?’

  His face darkened with annoyance. ‘Who told you that?’

  ‘Kev.’ She couldn’t resist a smirk. ‘Is it a secret? You told me yourself everyone knows everything about everything in Flynn’s Crossing.’

  He exhaled fiercely. ‘Nothing’s been decided. I haven’t even talked to Bruce yet. He owns the land. What else did Kev say?’ He fired the last question at her with surprising vehemence.

  ‘Nothing much. Just that access is only available on this side of the ridge and they’d have to cut in from the road. Near the motel he thought, but that’s a long way, isn’t it?’

  ‘Nothing’s been decided. Sorry, can I make some calls?’

  ‘Of course.’

  Antonia went to sit with the twins and watch the workers. Her query had upset Flynn no end. The council must have tried to keep the news quiet but surely they all knew how hopeless that was in this place. She chuckled softly. Heads would roll.

  ***

  Flynn didn’t come back to the house until after five on Monday. He’d bought a new phone in Kurrajong and Antonia had dropped him at his office just after eleven. He hadn’t mentioned the resort but he’d been preoccupied and a bit snappy since he’d made those calls the previous day. Clearly something had gone awry with the council machinations. Why it should be such a big secret she didn’t know. Flynn’s Crossing wouldn’t be involved much at all as far as she and Kev could tell. They’d had another discussion about it when she helped load the sawn-up branches into his trailer.

  ‘I suppose if no one’s asked Bruce yet they don’t want rumours going round,’ he said.

  ‘Yes, it’s a bit rude if everyone knows except him.’

  ‘He’d find out pretty quick, his daughter lives here. Mary. She runs that craft shop.’ He caught her eye and she laughed.

  Flynn knocked as he opened the front door. ‘Hello, anyone home?’

  ‘We are,’ shouted Jacob from the living room. ‘And we’re getting a kitten.’

  ‘In the kitchen,’ called Antonia.

  Flynn spent a few minutes listening to the excited chatter about the kitten then went to the kitchen and slumped onto a chair at the table. His ribs ached and his ankle was throbbing, although his shoulder was much better.

  ‘I should be able to manage at home tomorrow,’ he said. ‘My arm is feeling pretty good.’

  ‘How will you get around?’

  ‘Brandon will pick me up.’

  ‘Are you sure? You can stay longer if you want.’

  ‘No, no. I’ve been in your way long enough.’

  ‘Okay.’ She nodded and turned back to whatever she was doing at the sink.

  Her calm acceptance of his proposal was disappointing but the longer he stayed here the more uncomfortable it would be for both of them. Him with his unrequited love and his searing passion, her with her friendship and desire for a life unencumbered with male complications and demands.

  ‘Did you talk to Bruce Curtin?’ she asked, still with her back turned.

  Had she heard? She’d been at the cafe today with plenty of wagging tongues coming in and out all day. He may as well tell her the truth.

  ‘Yes and he’s interested in negotiating.’

  ‘That’s good then.’ She turned. ‘Isn’t it?’

  ‘So far.’

  ‘There shouldn’t be anyone protesting about that site.’

  ‘Hope not but you never know.’ He stood up. ‘I’ll go and lie down for a bit.’

  ‘Dinner will be a while yet.’

  Coward. He’d spoken to Sean, and after discussing Bruce’s terms he’d immediately got onto the subject of access. Sean had done his homework and discovered what Flynn already knew, that cutting in from anywhere along the road into Flynn’s Crossing would mean building a bridge over a ravine. The only feasible way in was from either Randall’s Road, which was shortest, or farther north on the Kurrajong side. That land belonged to the commune and there was no
way in the world they would allow it.

  The amount offered for Kev’s and Antonia’s properties was generous but much less than the other option of building a twenty-five kilometre road through thick bush and rough terrain, with a bridge. Flynn sounded out the possibility of only buying one block—Kev’s.

  ‘The frontage is wider than the other one,’ he said.

  ‘Yes, but I wanted a proper entrance with gates.’

  ‘Couldn’t you do that on the one block? It’s a good size.’

  ‘I’d rather not have a house sitting right next door to the entrance. It’s not really in keeping with the exclusive image.’

  Flynn almost growled at the slur on the Mango House. ‘This is a residential street in the town you’re talking about,’ he said. ‘It’s full of houses.’

  ‘Sorry, mate. I know it’s your property and the residents might not want to move but I can offer a bit more if it will help convince you to sell.’

  And he had offered quite a bit more. Flynn said he’d get back to him about it and hung up. With that money he could slice a massive chunk off his mortgage, which had expanded frighteningly due to the Mango House. And cover the gap the insurance would leave when replacing his car. He’d be able to buy something close to new.

  If anyone else was his tenant he wouldn’t hesitate. But if anyone else was living there he wouldn’t be involved other than applying pressure for the owner to sell. He was only the owner because of Antonia and his problem now was entirely of his own making because he’d fallen in love. Becoming emotionally involved was disastrous for business. He’d known that for years and until now it hadn’t been an issue, hence his reputation in the area.

  If he refused to sell and Antonia continued to resist his advances, where would that leave him? If there was no chance of being with her in the future, he would have to love her and let her go, join the ranks of the unrequited lovers and continue with his life of emotional detachment. She knew how much this project meant to him and his plans for the town. It wasn’t just him involved; it was the community.

  He had to sell.

  ***

  ‘He’s offered us a fair whack of cash,’ said Kev.

  Bron sat beside him at Antonia’s kitchen table, fiddling with the handle of her cup. ‘It’s hard to turn down, especially as the house isn’t really big enough now the boys are teenagers,’ she said.