Bedlam

by Derek Landy

  “Calm down,” she said into Una’s ear. Una struggled and Valkyrie tightened the stranglehold until she stopped.

  The other mermaids were glaring at Valkyrie, but they were too busy holding on to the harpoons that pinned the Sea Hag to do anything about it.

  “She hates you,” Una managed to garble. “She tried to kill you.”

  “Lots of people try to kill me,” Valkyrie replied. “If I took it all personally, I wouldn’t have any friends. No one dies because of me, not if I can help it.”

  Skulduggery walked in, the globe tucked under his arm and a Soul Catcher in his hand. He surveyed the situation. “I see,” he said, put down the globe and took out his gun. He waved it at the mermaids. “Move away, please. Thank you. Move away.”

  One by one, the mermaids withdrew their harpoons and swayed backwards.

  “I’m going to release you now,” Valkyrie said to Una. “If you try anything, it won’t go well for you.”

  Una said nothing until Valkyrie let her go and stepped away.

  The mermaid glared. “This is a mistake.”

  “Probably.”

  “You will come to regret this. Some day in the future you will need the help of the Maidens of the Sea and you will not have it.”

  “I think I’ll cope.”

  The mermaids disappeared under the water. Una glared once again, and then let herself fall backwards. The water claimed her and she was gone.

  Skulduggery put away his gun and handed the Soul Catcher to Valkyrie.

  “Doctor Nye had a spare one of these lying around,” he said. “Your friendship with the mermaids didn’t last particularly long.”

  “Just once,” she said, “I’d like to meet a new group of people and not be their enemy.”

  “Why?” the Sea Hag said weakly. “Why did you help me?”

  “Helping people is what we do,” Valkyrie said. “Are you OK? Do you need a doctor?”

  “I will heal,” said the Sea Hag, lifting herself up. She started swaying. “But I do not understand. You hate me.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  The Sea Hag shook her head. “None of this makes any sense.”

  “I’m not going to just stand around and watch someone get murdered, OK? I don’t care who they are.”

  “I … I may have misjudged you.”

  “That’s OK.”

  From the tangle of her hair, the Sea Hag drew a small golden bell. Grimacing in pain, she leaned forward, placing it in Valkyrie’s hand. “I owe you a debt,” she said.

  “Don’t worry about it,” said Valkyrie. “Just heal your wounds and carry on with your life.”

  “I will.” The Sea Hag’s smile was awful and smelled of fish. “Thank you.”

  “Why did they try to kill you anyway?” Skulduggery asked, picking up the globe.

  The Sea Hag swayed back to the pool. “They have always hated me and mocked me for how I look. I’m not beautiful, like they are. I don’t have a dainty fish tail, like they do. I also eat their young.”

  “I’m sorry?” Valkyrie said.

  “Their young,” said the Sea Hag. “The eggs they lay. I eat them sometimes.”

  Valkyrie stared.

  “Thank you again,” the Sea Hag said. “If you ever need my help, ring my bell and I will be there.”

  She sank into the water, and was gone.

  “Huh,” Skulduggery said.

  “Oh, God,” said Valkyrie.

  “You may have allied yourself with the wrong side,” Skulduggery said, rising off his feet and drifting over the pool.

  Valkyrie jumped and he caught her, his arm round her waist. “It’s just she’s so ugly,” she said, “and they’re all so pretty, so I naturally assumed they were secretly the bad guys because they were ganging up on the ugly one. I thought … I thought …”

  “A common mistake,” Skulduggery said as they sank down. The water rushed out of their way and surrounded the bubble of oxygen the lower they went. “Just because someone is ugly on the outside doesn’t mean they’re not even uglier on the inside. The reverse is also true for the beautiful. The trick, you see—”

  “Is to never assume anything,” she finished.

  “Quite.”

  With Valkyrie holding the Soul Catcher, and Skulduggery holding the globe and Valkyrie, they moved down and then sideways, away from the glass domes of the laboratory, away from the light and the warmth. They travelled into the cold and the dark, the water flowing all around them, and Valkyrie stopped talking. To talk was to use up oxygen, and to risk distracting Skulduggery. She looked at the bell in her hand, then put it in her pocket, careful not to let it ring.

  Serial killers, it had to be said, were not among Sebastian’s favourite people in the world.

  They were scary, and nasty, and on occasion in the past had tried to kill him. Silas Nadir, in particular, had a habit of trying to do just that.

  But things were different now. Sebastian was now the Plague Doctor, his face hidden behind a mask, his voice distorted. Nadir wouldn’t see the fear, wouldn’t hear the tremor. Sebastian was bigger, stronger, and better than he had been the last time they’d tangled. He hoped.

  Nadir stood in Demure’s living room, smiling to himself as Forby got the portal machine ready. He had a beard. He hadn’t had a beard when Sebastian had seen him last.

  No one said anything. Everyone, apart from Nadir himself, was looking decidedly grumpy.

  “OK,” Forby said, “we’re ready.”

  “Before we do this,” Demure said, stepping forward, “I just want to make sure you understand, Mr Nadir: I do not approve of your lifestyle.”

  Nadir raised a lazy eyebrow. “My lifestyle?”

  Demure cleared her throat. “Your serial killing. I don’t approve of it.”

  “Wow,” said Nadir. “That’s actually pretty powerful, you saying that to me. Does anyone else disapprove?”

  Hands slowly went up.

  Nadir nodded. “I see,” he said. “This is quite a shock, I have to admit. I mean, I guess I always knew that what I was doing was wrong, but it has taken until now, until this moment, with you fine people, to make me realise just how wayward my life has become. I want to thank you, each of you, for shining a light on my darkness. I think … I think I’m cured. Glory be to God, I think I am cured!”

  “You’re being sarcastic,” said Bennet.

  “Duh. Your disapproval didn’t stop you from sneaking me into the city, did it? I think you’ve all long since fallen from your moral high ground, and you know what? You didn’t have to fall very far.”

  “You’re disgusting,” said Demure.

  “Yeah,” Nadir responded, “I am. Big surprise there. But, even though I don’t know why you want a door opened into this particular dimension, I’m going to go ahead and assume the reason you’re keeping it secret is because no one else outside your little group would be in favour. Am I right? Yeah, I figured.”

  “That’s enough,” said Sebastian.

  Nadir turned to him. “Says who? You? The freak in the bird mask? Who are you, freak? I can see your eyes through the glass. You’re looking at me like you know me. Do you know me?”

  “I know you.”

  Nadir stepped right up to him. The others tensed, but Sebastian didn’t react.

  “Who did I kill?” Nadir asked, smiling, staring right into Sebastian’s eyes. “Parents? Family? Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Kids? Who? I’ve killed all sorts, all kinds, of all ages, and you’re looking at me like I’ve personally hurt you. I know that look. I know it well. So who did I kill?”

  Nadir peered closer. “Or was it you? Is that why you wear the outfit? Did I scar you up? Are you wearing the mask because of what I did to you?” He laughed. “If you’re waiting for me to remember, I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint you. You all blur into one after a while.”

  “You won’t remember me,” Sebastian said. “But I remember you. And none of that means anything, because we brought you here to do a jo
b – and you’re going to do it.”

  “Am I?” said Nadir. “Or am I just going to walk on out of here? What are you going to do – call the City Guard? Get the Cleavers on to me? File a complaint?”

  “We’ll stop you,” Sebastian said.

  Nadir sneered. “You’re too scared to stop me.”

  “There are seven of us and only one of you,” said Lily.

  “And would you be willing to kill me?” Nadir asked. “Would any of you have the guts to end my life? Because I’ll tell you – I reckon I’d kill three of you before anyone laid a hand on me.”

  “This is getting ridiculous,” said Ulysses. “Mr Nadir, we upheld our end of the deal. We got you in here. Now please do as you promised, and open the portal.”

  Nadir considered it, then smirked. “Sure,” he said. “There’s not one of you who looks even remotely competent, so I’m sure this is going to backfire on you all. It’d be a hell of a kick to contribute to that.” He rolled his shoulders, and held out his hands. “Get ready, kids. This is going to be awesome.”

  It was almost two in the afternoon, and it was raining, and it was freezing, and Valkyrie’s feet were so numb that when they landed in the garden behind her parents’ house her ankles almost gave out. She stomped around to get the feeling back, gave the Soul Catcher to Skulduggery, and blew into her cupped hands.

  “If you need some time to rest,” Skulduggery said, but she cut him off.

  “We’re not resting. We’re getting the fragments today. We’ve let too much time go by as it is. Come on.”

  She led the way inside. Her mum was out and her dad was asleep in his armchair. They found Alice upstairs.

  “Stephanie!” Alice squealed, running to her. “Skulduggery!”

  “Hello, little one,” Skulduggery said, patting her head as she hugged him.

  “Why are you here? What are you holding?”

  “I’ll show you,” Valkyrie said, taking the globe from Skulduggery and setting it down on Alice’s desk. “See this? This is a magic globe.”

  Alice’s eyes widened as she came forward. “What does it do?”

  “I don’t know yet. Want to find out?”

  “Yes!”

  “Put your hand on it,” Skulduggery said. “What’s it like?”

  “Cold,” said Alice.

  “Tell me when it’s warm.”

  “OK.” She frowned in concentration, then smiled brightly. “It’s getting warm now!”

  “Good girl. Give it a big spin, OK?”

  The tip of her tongue sticking out between her teeth, Alice spun the globe as hard as she could. It rattled in its stand as it blurred – and then suddenly locked itself in place. The surface rippled. It re-formed itself, zooming in on two points of light in Ireland, and one in Scotland.

  “The soul has been split in three,” Skulduggery said, tapping one of the lights. The globe rippled again and changed as it zoomed in once more, and Valkyrie recognised Haggard. The light emanated from a familiar structure.

  “That’s our house!” Alice exclaimed. “Look, Stephanie!”

  “So it is,” Valkyrie said. She’d seen something like this before, but even so it was, all things considered, pretty cool. “See that light, coming from inside? That’s you.”

  “Is it?”

  “Part of you, anyway.”

  Alice peered closer. “Wowww …”

  Skulduggery tapped the globe again and it zoomed out, then rippled and focused on a small town that became a street that became another house with a light shining within. The first lost fragment of Alice’s soul.

  “This is about half an hour from Roarhaven,” Skulduggery said. “It didn’t travel too far.”

  Valkyrie frowned. “It’s moving. It is, isn’t it? Look.”

  “It would appear so.”

  Her heart became heavy. The fragment had found a host.

  “What’s this one do?” Alice asked, tapping the third light. The surface rippled, focusing on Scotland, showing a city that seemed strangely familiar to Valkyrie.

  “Where is that?” she asked.

  “Right where I thought it might be,” Skulduggery said. He didn’t sound pleased. “I imagine this is where traumatised souls tend to flee to.”

  “Where?”

  “Meryyn ta Uul. The City Below.”

  “Oh,” said Valkyrie, sagging. “The Necropolis.”

  They touched down on the roof of a car park. Carrying a bag containing the Soul Catcher, Skulduggery activated his façade and they took the elevator to the ground level. Valkyrie’s thoughts were on fire again. She tried to remember the tune from the music box, but it remained just out of reach. She needed something to focus on. She needed words.

  “How are we going to find the fragment in the Necropolis?” she asked.

  “We’re not,” Skulduggery said. “I am.”

  She was aware of how fast she was speaking but she couldn’t actually stop. “Then how are you going to find it? How are you going to find a part of a soul in a city filled with souls? It’s impossible. It sounds impossible.”

  “Not according to Doctor Nye,” Skulduggery said. “Once we’ve captured the first fragment, the Soul Catcher will act as a metal detector of sorts. All I’ll have to do is walk the streets of the Necropolis until I find what we’re looking for.”

  “We have to get to it fast, though. We have to. I mean, if the first fragment can merge with some random soul it bumps into, then won’t the second one be at a higher risk? In the Necropolis, there are souls everywhere you turn. We should have gone there first.”

  “It’s been six years, Valkyrie. A few more hours aren’t going to make a difference.”

  Valkyrie nodded. Nodded again. That was true. She knew that. It made sense. Made a lot of sense.

  “Are you feeling OK?” Skulduggery asked.

  “I’m grand,” she said.

  The elevator doors opened and they emerged on to a pavement and she just followed Skulduggery. The town was small. She didn’t even know its name. It didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was retrieving that fragment of her sister’s soul.

  They got to the house, a quiet house on a quiet street. Valkyrie went to slam her fist against the door, but Skulduggery caught her wrist. With his other hand, he gently, politely knocked.

  Valkyrie nodded. She had to calm down. Had to. She was going to hurt someone if she didn’t.

  She took a deep breath, and smiled as she exhaled.

  The door opened. A woman in a flowing dress nodded sombrely at them. She was calm, but her aura was in chaos. It writhed and twisted like a yellow snake chasing its own tail. There was a smaller aura, an orange aura, in there with it. They hadn’t merged. Not yet.

  “Hi,” Valkyrie said. “We’re here—”

  The woman held up a hand. “I know why you’re here.”

  “You do?”

  “Of course.” She stepped to one side and held the door open. “You’re here for a reading.”

  Valkyrie hesitated, but Skulduggery nudged her forward, and then they were both inside a living room strewn with bowls of cheap crystals. This was the living room of a fortune-teller, and not one of the good ones, either.

  “My name is Margaret,” said the woman. “I’ll be your guide today.”

  “Our guide where?” Skulduggery asked.

  Margaret smiled softly. “Into the realms of the unknown.”

  “Oh, good,” said Skulduggery.

  “Actually,” Valkyrie said, “we just had a few questions for you.”

  Margaret guided them to two chairs at a small table. “I don’t like questions,” she said, sitting opposite. “Questions get in the way. They lodge themselves in the spiritual pathways we’ll need to traverse. Banish all questions from your mind. Happiness is acceptance.”

  “That’s what I’m always telling her,” Skulduggery said. “But will she listen?”

  “That’s a question,” Valkyrie pointed out. “Not allowed to ask questions.”
>
  “It was rhetorical,” he responded. “There was supposed to be a percontation point after it.”

  “Well now, I think we’re both fully aware that you just made up that word,” Valkyrie said, “so I’m not going to argue with you. Margaret, we’re not here for a reading or to get our palms read or anything remotely spiritual like that.”

  “You came here looking for answers,” Margaret said.

  “We came here looking for you.”

  “Because I have the answers you seek.”

  “How can we have answers, though, if we’re not allowed to ask questions?”

  “That’s a question,” Skulduggery said.

  Margaret smiled again. “You’re sceptical. I understand. I don’t even blame you. You’re young, with your whole life stretching out ahead of you. You don’t yet know just how fragile we are, as humans. You think you’re immortal. You think spirituality is nonsense. You don’t believe in psychics.”

  Valkyrie smiled back. “Got me there.” She watched Margaret’s aura as they spoke.

  “I was like you when I was your age,” said Margaret, “but as I got older I accepted the fact that there will always be facets of this life we will never be able to even glimpse. Six years ago, I was visited by a spirit, and it joined my own.”

  “What’s that like?”

  “Oh, it’s wonderful,” Margaret said. “It’s not without its drawbacks, of course. The spirit that attached to mine is broken, I think. I can’t hear its thoughts – I don’t think it has any – but I can feel its sadness. I do what I can to soothe it, and in return it grants me a certain sight. Give me your hand, and I’ll show you.”

  Margaret held her own hands out, waiting, but Valkyrie didn’t move.

  “We’re not here for a reading,” she said. “We’re here for the spirit.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “The spirit that bonded with you. We’re here to take it back.”

  Margaret smiled again. “I’m not sure I understand.”