Pass It On

by Deshaun Waton

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  Some people imagine that a leader is someone whose values, priorities, and ideas are cast in stone. After all, a leader has to be strong in his or her convictions. That’s certainly true, but by my way of thinking, a leader also has to be exceedingly open-minded. Leaders welcome new ideas, new thoughts, and new perspectives.

  Early in my football career, I decided to do all that I could to remain as teachable as possible. As a young player, that wasn’t particularly difficult to do. Listening to others with more insight and experience, you naturally want to take in as much as you can. Remaining open-minded is key to doing that. It’s also a great way to keep you humble.

  I’ve carried that over into adulthood and my position as a servant leader of my team. I am every bit as eager as I ever was to learn as much as possible and remain open-minded. If I don’t do those things, I may miss out on a great deal that would improve my play and my overall contribution to the team.

  As I see it, a leader who refuses to be open-minded is displaying a destructive form of arrogance—an assumption of knowing all that needs to be known. If you step back and look at that objectively, you’ll see that’s pretty much an impossibility. None of us knows everything worth knowing. To suggest otherwise is simply unrealistic.

  Further, as a servant leader, failing to keep an open mind also sends a message to those around you. In effect, you may be suggesting that you don’t value their thoughts and ideas. You’re telling them that, in your mind, they have nothing to contribute. That’s hardly a formula to inspire those around you to pursue great things.

  I cannot tell you how many times players have returned to a huddle and told me something that they felt I needed to know. For instance, a receiver may point out that a certain type of coverage is breaking down over the middle of the field or that a linebacker is “cheating” as he moves closer to the line of scrimmage. Almost inevitably, they’re right, and we as a group benefit accordingly. If a leader dismisses that kind of feedback and insight, your success may suffer, not to mention, once again, you’re sending an unstated message to the group that you don’t value what they want to contribute. Keep it to yourself, you’re essentially telling them.

  Open-mindedness is a key component for any servant leader, regardless of the setting. It shows that you value everyone—particularly those eager to share new ideas and thoughts.

  Staying humble is also a part of understanding when certain types of leadership are appropriate. As a rookie, I understood the value of taking on my leadership role slowly and carefully, not overstepping my bounds. As I’ve been on the team longer, I’ve had to adjust my leadership skills and approach.

  For instance, I’ve tried to take the time to learn what styles of interaction certain players prefer. Some, I’ve come to realize, like a more intimate, calm, one-on-one environment. Others, believe it or not, embrace the experience of being yelled at in front of the rest of the team. The visibility fires them up.

  Ultimately, no matter how I try to convey it, I like to let the others around me know that I value them and that I don’t think I’m in a position of greater importance than they are. My goal has always been to lead as well as serve, and I think that emerges when I take the time to approach every player as an individual rather than just another number on a football squad.

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  MY GOAL HAS ALWAYS BEEN TO LEAD AS WELL AS SERVE, AND I THINK THAT EMERGES WHEN I TAKE THE TIME TO APPROACH EVERY PLAYER AS AN INDIVIDUAL RATHER THAN JUST ANOTHER NUMBER ON A FOOTBALL SQUAD.

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  I once heard someone say that once we all stop learning, we stop living. By being humble, keeping an open mind, and remaining open to teaching moments, servant leaders can avoid that unfortunate fate and, in so doing, help those around them to do the same.

  PASS IT ON

  •What do you think makes a person humble? Do you consider yourself humble? Have you considered what benefits you can receive if you approach things with a humble perspective?

  •Think of an experience where you were not particularly humble. How did that make you feel? Did your lack of humility affect the outcome of the situation?

  •When you’ve found yourself in a position of leadership, how do you approach those you lead? Do you see and address them as a group or as individuals who would benefit from a more one-on-one strategy?

  YOUR CHALLENGE

  The next time you’re having a conversation with someone who knows more about a particular topic than you, tell that person how much you appreciate the shared knowledge. Being humble builds both relationships and your own personal store of knowledge.

  CHAPTER 11

  FIND A COACH, BE A COACH

  I can’t tell you how many times a game that felt like it was slipping away was completely turned around by a few words from a gifted coach.

  I remember one game when I repeatedly tried to make long throws. Some connected, but many did not. I had seen the defense—a Cover 2 scheme, meaning a defense in which the safeties play farther back—but continued to try to beat them long. The offense was struggling, and we were losing.

  My quarterback coach pulled me aside. “Don’t try to hit a home run every time,” he said. “You’re playing right into their defense by going long. Loosen them up with some intermediate passes.”

  He was right. Shorter passes lured the safeties closer to the line of scrimmage, opening up the long ball. We came back from a deficit and won the game handily.

  Throughout my life I have been blessed to have worked with and benefited from all sorts of gifted coaches.

  Some have the word coach attached to their names—Coaches Perry, O’Brien, Swinney, just to name a few.

  But other coaches who have provided me valuable guidance and insight don’t necessarily refer to themselves as coaches—my mom, Mrs. Frierson, Mama Maria, and many others.

  That points out an important truth for every servant leader, both aspiring and established. There are helpful coaches around us all the time if we take the opportunity to look for them and, just as important, to appreciate what they can offer us.

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  THERE ARE HELPFUL COACHES AROUND US ALL THE TIME IF WE TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO LOOK FOR THEM AND, JUST AS IMPORTANT, TO APPRECIATE WHAT THEY CAN OFFER US.

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  Eventually, a developing servant leader becomes a coach to those around him or her. By looking to serve the people they lead, servant leaders are naturally offering coaching, guidance, direction, and other ways of developing personal growth and success.

  That sets up what is to me a really interesting flow. On the one hand, servant leaders looking to improve their leadership skills can benefit by knowing what to look for in a coach—what abilities, attributes, and other talents a coach can share to help the servant leader grow.

  Ultimately, though, that aspiring leader needs to take a different look at those skills—this time, in terms of what he or she can offer as a coach. It’s very much like starting out in the role of a student who, over time, becomes an eager teacher.

  In this chapter, I’ll share with you what I’ve always looked for in any coach with whom I’ve worked—on the football field and beyond. By pointing out what I’ve found to be most valuable in a coach, I hope to guide you to look for similar skills and abilities in those potential coaches in your life.

  From there, I’ll talk about the role of a servant leader as a coach—how I’ve come to see my role as a servant leader and, in turn, specific strategies and ideas I use to be the most effective coach possible for those with whom I come into contact.

  I owe so much of what I’ve become in my life to those coaches who invested their time and energy in me. I hope you have as much success in your journey as I have had in mine.

  Before starting on any journey, it’s essential to know your destination. With that in mind, when determining what to look for in a coach, first ask yourself: What am I trying to achieve?

  On a simple level, goals can be fairly straightforward.
For instance, in my role as a football player and quarterback, I always looked for a coach who would be able to take my skills to the next level. That was determined, in part, by where I happened to be as a player at that time. Was my passing accuracy a skill that needed work? Play calling? The ability to read a defense? No matter where I was in my development, I always looked at a coach through the lens of my goals at the time. I looked for what I knew I needed.

  The same can apply to your situation. For example, in your profession, what skills do you need to develop to further your career? Do they have something specific to do with your job performance, or are those things more intangible, such as communication or other types of interpersonal skills? What you determine you need at the moment can impact the sort of person you might look to for coaching guidance.

  That goes for your personal life as well. Are you happy with your home life, your family relationships, and your friendships? If you’d like to improve them, consider what you may be learning in your professional life. Many workplace lessons learned through a coach or mentor apply to your life outside of work.

  Another skill I’ve always prioritized in any coach with whom I’ve worked is clarity of communication. This is a topic I cannot stress strongly enough. An effective coach needs to be a top-notch communicator—to be able to share experiences and insights in the clearest terms possible. To my mind, it’s an absolute requirement. No great coach has ever lived who was incapable of getting a message across clearly and to the point.

  When I made a mistake in either college or the pros, I was lucky to be working with coaches gifted at explaining where I made my mistake and, just as important, what I needed to learn from that mistake so it wouldn’t happen again.

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  NO GREAT COACH HAS EVER LIVED WHO WAS INCAPABLE OF GETTING A MESSAGE ACROSS CLEARLY AND TO THE POINT.

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  That wasn’t just on the football field. I saw it in my academic life as well. My tutor at Clemson, Mama Maria, is one of the most blunt and straightforward people I’ve ever met. When I would call her trying to wriggle my way out of a study session, she made no bones about how important our work together was. No excuses, period. I benefitted from that sort of direct talk—even when it meant I had to haul my butt over to her office and get back to work. Her message was not open to interpretation in any way.

  Part of being a great communicator is being a great listener—another aspect of great coaching. Accomplished coaches do much more than talk about what you should do and why; they also encourage feedback. Furthermore, they take that feedback to heart. Communication is a two-way street, and a good coach makes certain the traffic flows in both directions.

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  COMMUNICATION IS A TWO-WAY STREET, AND A GOOD COACH MAKES CERTAIN THE TRAFFIC FLOWS IN BOTH DIRECTIONS.

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  A great coach is also perceptive. Many people can be effective coaches when the issues involved are limited to the obvious. But a great coach is always able to read between the lines, to pick up on issues of significance that others might miss or overlook. Great coaches see more than everyone else sees. They’re skilled at spotting nuances and subtle clues.

  Taking that further, a perceptive coach knows that performance is about more than just mechanics. Attitude, emotions, experiences, and other factors play important roles as well. Perceptive coaches understand that coaching is anything but a skin-deep matter.

  To that end, a coach who picks up on a problem will look for issues beyond just performance. That coach will ask if anything is on your mind, if there’s anything troubling you, how things are at home. If you’re in school, a perceptive coach will make certain to ask how your studies are progressing, how your social life is going. That coach will always be on the lookout for some subtle reason behind what you are doing.

  Just as important, a perceptive coach will know when to pull back on asking these sorts of questions. We all know what it feels like when someone with the very best intentions asks us if anything’s wrong, only to be told in no uncertain terms to get out of our face. A perceptive coach will not push the issue needlessly. If yours is a solid relationship, the coach will know that you’ll eventually open up when you’re ready to talk and will back off when it’s clear they need to back off.

  That goes hand in hand with another central attribute: honesty. Great coaches are honest without exception—with others and with themselves. They own up to their mistakes. By the same token, if they see something they feel a need to point out to you, they’re just as honest in their willingness to do so.

  Admittedly, this is a tough hill to climb. Let’s face it, we’ve all been dishonest at one time or another. But honest coaches invariably will admit that, yes, they were short of being completely honest or forthright. In a way, it’s the most powerful form of honesty there is—acknowledging to everyone that they’re not flawless.

  As I’ve mentioned in other parts of this book, I value a sense of balance—a mindset that keeps things in perspective. All of my best coaches have shared this attribute. Of course, they wanted me to succeed at whatever I was pursuing, but they also recognized that their work with me was just one part of my development as a person.

  For instance, the football coaches I’ve been fortunate enough to play for have all been top-notch teachers of the sport—in strategy, technique, conditioning, and other aspects. But they’ve also recognized that the lessons learned in football aren’t limited to the field; they’re also a means to teach critical life lessons, such as teamwork, communication, and dedication. That was particularly important to me when I was a young player in high school and college just beginning to learn my craft. I began to understand the totality of the coaching I was receiving.

  I also believe that the best coaches work with the entire person—not just the athlete, student, employee, or some other role that someone may occupy. They understand that everyone is made up of different talents, interests, and priorities. In keeping with a sense of perspective, they recognize that the particular skill or talent they happen to be addressing is no more or less important than any other part of a person’s life. As I said, they coach the entire person, not just one part.

  Coaches Miller and Perry back in high school were exceptional at this. And they had to be. Since they knew what my family and I were going through with my mom’s cancer, they always took the time to ask how things at home were, how my mom was doing. Not only did they know that Mom’s health would affect my on-field performance, but they also wanted to convey their interest in me as a person, not just a football talent. Like all gifted coaches, they understood that they couldn’t possibly coach plays while ignoring the player.

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  THE BEST COACHES WORK WITH THE ENTIRE PERSON—NOT JUST THE ATHLETE, STUDENT, EMPLOYEE, OR SOME OTHER ROLE THAT SOMEONE MAY OCCUPY. THEY UNDERSTAND THAT EVERYONE IS MADE UP OF DIFFERENT TALENTS, INTERESTS, AND PRIORITIES.

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  Leslie Frierson, one of my grade-school teachers back in Gainesville, is another ideal example of this. When I met NFL player Kendrick Lewis, she immediately picked up on how excited I was to interact with an actual professional football player. She knew I aspired to play professionally myself someday. She encouraged me to pursue that dream, but she was also thoughtful enough to remind me that my schoolwork would have to go hand in hand with my growth as a football player. That’s the kind of perspective I’m talking about—not one that sees just a football player or just a student, but the entire person.

  A coach who understands the importance of coaching the complete person recognizes that this approach leads to the very best results. Even young people know when a coach is treating them as a person rather than just a performer or player. As a result, they’re motivated to work that much harder, and not just in one area of their lives. The complete person works that much more diligently at everything he or she is doing.

  I believe great coaches are also selfless. Their goal in working with someone is not success for themselv
es—in effect, leveraging others for their own personal achievement (although, naturally enough, a great coach celebrates success). Rather, they’re dedicated to the betterment of others, to always putting the interests of those around them ahead of their own.

  Dabo Swinney at Clemson is just such a coach. I knew it from the earliest days of our relationship. After much thought and prayer, I decided to commit to Clemson early, well before the deadline when I had to formally make up my mind.

  A coach who was solely concerned about the success of his football program would have done little more than, in effect, say: “Great. Just sign here.”

  Not Coach Swinney. He reminded me that I still had plenty of time to make such a critical decision, and he asked me if it wouldn’t be better to wait a bit. Give it some more thought, more prayer. Make absolutely certain that this was the right choice for me.

  His response only reaffirmed my decision that Clemson was, in fact, just the place for me. Even in high school, I could recognize his selflessness, his focus on the well-being of the person making the choice rather than how his own program and career might benefit. And, in the end, it was the best choice for me, thanks in large part to a coach who placed greater importance on my future than he did on what I might be able to contribute to his football team.

  I also believe that great coaches are loyal without exception. They are loyal to the people they lead, to the program they represent, and to themselves. They understand that, if they cannot be loyal to themselves, then it’s simply not possible to show meaningful loyalty toward anyone else.