Pass It On
Page 16
Of course, the perfect game would include any number of amazing plays. But it’s important to break down what that entails. On the one hand, an amazing play might be the result of perfect execution—a carefully mapped-out plan that goes off without a hitch. But an amazing play might also include improvisation—one in which the plan breaks down yet something remarkable takes place.
If you think about it, that mirrors real life. Sometimes success happens as the result of following a carefully orchestrated road map. Other times success results from more of a mad scramble, an action or decision made on the fly. A servant leader recognizes that success can come by way of any number of paths—both mapped out and otherwise—and looks for opportunity everywhere.
This comes back to a point I raised earlier about how practice leads to great improvisation. Of course, improvisation can happen after a play really goes wrong, but more often than not, great plays that seem to come out of nowhere happen because great execution got the players to that point. Knowing your stuff and going out and doing it position you to let instinct and natural ability take over.
A perfect game would go back and forth in terms of which team was enjoying the most success. That’s the most instructive sort of flow. The perfect game shouldn’t be all winning nor should it be all losing. The give-and-take that characterizes most everything in life should happen within a perfect game. It’s the type of experience that teaches us the most—about ourselves, the opportunities and challenges we all have to confront, and how to work with others to obtain the best results.
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THE GIVE-AND-TAKE THAT CHARACTERIZES MOST EVERYTHING IN LIFE SHOULD HAPPEN WITHIN A PERFECT GAME.
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One part of my imagined perfect game does, in fact, happen in most real-life contests. Success would be celebrated, but only for a short time. Participants in the perfect game would understand that there’s more game to be played and wouldn’t wallow in success too long. There’s always work that remains to be done.
As I said, this happens all the time in actual games. Players celebrate but then get right back to business. Take note of it the next time you watch a game. If any one player celebrates for too long, there’s likely going to be someone nearby ready to help him or her regain focus and move forward.
So, here comes the ultimate question: Who wins the perfect game?
From my view, it really doesn’t matter.
That may seem like a ridiculous thing for someone so competitive and focused on winning to suggest, but, in the case of a perfect game, it’s true. That’s because no matter the outcome, a perfect game would treat every participant as a student with different lessons to be learned—all of which are valuable.
For the winners, there’s the joy in celebrating a successful effort, one to which every player has contributed. There’s both satisfaction and a sense of confidence about reaching a goal. There’s the opportunity for further success.
But winning shouldn’t be all happiness and good times. Servant leaders are quick to remind others that they need to learn from whatever mistakes they may have made so they can overcome challenges and hurdles in the future. Success is wonderful, but there are goals and opportunities around the corner that demand attention and preparation.
So, too, is losing not exclusively all bad news. Granted, no one likes to lose, to come up short. None of us competes in order to lose. But, again, losing is a generous and dedicated teacher. It forces you to look at yourself as objectively as you can, identify what went wrong, and, from there, take practical steps to ensure that it doesn’t happen again. It’s a cruel but effective education.
That’s why I say that the final score of my perfect game is irrelevant. Servant leaders are much more interested in what they gained from the experience, not to mention what others learned. A few numbers lit up on the scoreboard are just that—a few numbers that tell the final story but not how everyone got there.
And the journey is what matters to a servant leader.
PASS IT ON
•Have you ever been involved in an event or experience that came close to being perfect? What made it so special? What did you learn from the experience? Was there something about the situation that you could use in the future?
YOUR CHALLENGE
Map out your perfect game. The setting can be anywhere you want it to be—at home, school, work, wherever you like. Think carefully about every aspect that would, in fact, make your game perfect. Watch for both positives and negatives. Then apply what you’ve learned to an upcoming situation or challenge. See what you can do to make the experience as close to perfect as you can.
CHAPTER 13
“BE LEGENDARY”
As I write this, the 2019–20 season is well underway—another football journey that’s bound to be filled with triumphs as well as disappointments and setbacks.
I’m certain it’s also going to be characterized by just as many lessons and experiences to further my development as a servant leader.
I’m particularly excited about it for a number of reasons. This marked one of the few off-seasons I’ve experienced throughout my playing career when I was completely healthy. As a result, I’ve come to learn about and appreciate a new level of dedication—one of the bedrocks of a successful servant leader.
My sole focus in the summer of 2019 was working to improve my craft, mentally and physically. The absence of any sort of physical recovery has allowed for greater focus on looking forward—on building rather than also having to rebuild at the same time.
It’s also given me a completely fresh perspective on dedication—one that, strangely enough, suggests that success, however desirable, can undermine even the most committed of us.
* * *
THE ABSENCE OF ANY SORT OF PHYSICAL RECOVERY HAS ALLOWED FOR GREATER FOCUS ON LOOKING FORWARD—ON BUILDING RATHER THAN ALSO HAVING TO REBUILD AT THE SAME TIME.
* * *
My rookie year was straightforward with regard to dedication. I was new, and the team and the city of Houston expected a lot from me. Excitement was everywhere. In that sort of environment, dedication can come rather easily. With so much riding on who you are and what you do, it’s easy to feed off all that energy.
After the injury that ended my first season, I was determined to come back in as optimal physical shape as possible. Again, dedication wasn’t much of a hill to climb. When you’ve suffered a setback and are determined to get back on track, dedication is an absolute necessity. Without it, you’ll likely be doing little more than spinning your wheels.
Of course, the start of every season has a vibe to it that stirs dedication. Since I had a solid second season last year and helped the team to the playoffs, it’s natural that my teammates, fans, and the organization expect things to improve even more in the coming year. That can provide plenty of energy and focus.
But the off-season between my second and third years has been a barometer of my capacity to practice dedication. It’s as though, lacking issues such as injury or the excitement of being the new face in town, dedication is all the more important—yet more of a challenge to maintain.
In the case of the Texans in 2019–20, dedication means taking the next step in the development of the overall team. Yes, we’re defending AFC South Champions, but in the spirit of Tom Brady’s suggestion, my teammates and I are refusing to compromise our dedication based on any sort of past success.
As a developing servant leader, I look to convey my sense of dedication to my teammates, as they do to me. Dedication involves a great deal of synergy. It’s easy to pick out a team or some other group for whom dedication is a shared value as opposed to it being limited to just a few people. The more pervasive the dedication, the greater the results.
In my case, part of my overall dedication has to do with longevity. If all goes well and I stay reasonably healthy, I’d like to continue playing football until the age of forty, maybe even longer. With role models such as Brady (who, as of this writing, is forty-two year
s old) and Brees (forty, with a nineteen-year NFL career under his belt), I know it’s far from an impossibility.
But that’s a long way off.
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IF ALL GOES WELL AND I STAY REASONABLY HEALTHY, I’D LIKE TO CONTINUE PLAYING FOOTBALL UNTIL THE AGE OF FORTY, MAYBE EVEN LONGER.
* * *
At the outset of this book, I raised the issue of my age in terms of discussing servant leadership. I can appreciate why some readers—at least initially—may have had questions or doubts about a twenty-four-year-old sharing what he considers valuable lessons about ways to make your life more fulfilling and rewarding.
I grant you that I have much more to learn. But my situation represents a basic truth having to do with all servant leaders—we never stop learning about ways to make ourselves better and more dedicated leaders.
Even though I’m still relatively young, I feel I have experienced quite a bit in what amounts to just short of a quarter century. Growing up in poverty without a father, my mom’s struggle with cancer, obtaining my college degree in only three years, and moving on to play professional football have packed a lot of joy and hardship into a rather brief amount of time.
I know that many of you have also experienced many joys, sorrows, triumphs, and tragedies in your own lives—maybe not in as condensed a timeline as I did, but still a lot of water under the bridge. No matter the particulars of your situation, I hope what I’ve shared has been entertaining but, just as important, instructional and inspirational in your growth as a servant leader.
Whether we recognize it—or, for that matter, even desire it—each and every one of us is a servant leader in some capacity.
That’s because most things in life involve a group of some sort—a team, a family, a company, you name it. And although each of those groups may have a designated “leader,” each of us at one time or another is called on to lead others. It can be something as simple as offering advice or feedback, but a form of leadership is always in play.
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EACH OF US AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER IS CALLED ON TO LEAD OTHERS.
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We’re called on to serve others in many additional ways. Again, that can fly under the radar to a certain extent, but interacting with others naturally involves some form of service. It can be obvious, such as helping a friend or loved one during a time of hardship or challenge or even something as quick and innocent as holding the door open for someone else, but some type of service is always taking place. Take the time to watch for these moments of service, and you may be surprised by how often we are all serving others.
That’s one of the reasons I wrote this book. In many ways, people who identify with servant leadership and are actively working to develop their emotional and intellectual skills are aware of the constant nature of servant leadership. They’re the easy part of the audience to talk to!
It’s those who don’t see themselves as servant leaders that I hope this book truly touches. As I’ve discussed, the benefits of servant leadership aren’t limited just to the people who look to such leaders. Servant leaders mature and grow as people, too, rewarding themselves as well as those around them. They become more complete in all sorts of ways.
So, that begs the question: Just how do I anticipate my own continued growth as a servant leader to play out?
For me, that breaks down into a number of different goals.
First, like any professional athlete, I want to stand at the top of the pack. That means eventually capturing a Super Bowl championship. In looking at my own development as a player as well as the development of my teammates, the coaching staff, and the entire Texans organization, I am very confident that goal will be reached one day. Hopefully, that’s sooner rather than later, but I recognize the value of patience in achieving goals of that magnitude.
Another goal is keeping my love for what I do amid the heat and emotions of chasing that dream. It may sound corny, but I absolutely love playing football, from the competition itself to the interaction with teammates and opponents to the game’s constant challenge of both my physical and mental skills. By continuing to grow, I feel confident that the love and fire in my belly will continue to burn brightly.
Through my work and activities both on and off the football field, I also hope to continue to inspire others around me. Away from football, I know in my heart that one part of that will be continued involvement with Habitat for Humanity. Having not only experienced the personal joy that such a program can foster but also seeing that joy in others, I recognize that Habitat will remain a part of my life forever. Hopefully, as I continue to grow as a servant leader, I can bring even more to the organization. It’s already given me more than I can possibly repay. I hope my foundation furthers that effort.
In pursuing these and other aspects of servant leadership, I hope to remain as relatable as possible to everyone with whom I come into contact. In its own way, staying grounded is as great a challenge as any other. For anyone with a conspicuous position in the public eye—be that an athlete, government official, performer, or something else—being relatable carries more meaning than you might assume at first.
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I HOPE TO REMAIN AS RELATABLE AS POSSIBLE TO EVERYONE WITH WHOM I COME INTO CONTACT. IN ITS OWN WAY, STAYING GROUNDED IS AS GREAT A CHALLENGE AS ANY OTHER.
* * *
On the one hand, remaining relatable means maintaining genuine connections with others. Sometimes success can be its own worst enemy in terms of your relationships with people. You may not see others in quite the same way or take as much time as you once did to understand and empathize with others. They seem distant.
A servant leader works diligently to make certain that doesn’t happen. By developing and using many of the traits and attributes I’ve described in this book—humility, kindness, and a willingness for self-sacrifice, in addition to others—a servant leader never keeps anyone at arm’s length. The very nature of servant leadership requires close, genuine connections. I hope my every action contributes to those connections.
But, just as important, a servant leader remains relatable to him- or herself. By that I mean never forgetting where you came from and the defining roles of your character and personality that cannot be changed. It’s a commitment to never losing sight of what has made you who you are. Whether you keep contact through something you can see—such as writing “815” on your wristband before every game—or the beliefs you hold, you never have to look in a mirror one day and wonder who the person looking back at you truly is.
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THE VERY NATURE OF SERVANT LEADERSHIP REQUIRES CLOSE, GENUINE CONNECTIONS.
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I urge you to use the exercises I’ve included at the end of each chapter to help you achieve that and other meaningful goals in your journey of servant leadership. Revisit them over time and gauge your progress. I’m confident that you’ll be both pleased with the results and that much more committed to moving forward in your journey.
You may have found some of the issues and ideas contained in this book particularly helpful or applicable to your personal situation—the importance of remaining humble, for instance, or always treating yourself as the underdog when it comes to a challenge. But, above all, I encourage you to look for the leadership opportunities that are around you all the time—at work, at home, in school, wherever you happen to be. I hope this book has raised your awareness of the many ways you can grow while helping those around you to grow as well.
So, at the risk of repeating myself, let’s all go be legendary.
PASS IT ON
•Take some time to think about what you consider the most valuable leadership message in this book. Dedication? The ability to bend but not break? Coming to understand that timing can be so important in choosing the right moments to lead?
YOUR CHALLENGE
Once you’ve identified that leadership quality you’ve learned more about in this book, share it with someone close to you. Think carefully a
bout what to share and how you do so. As the title of this book suggests, we all have something, and we can pass it on to others.
NOTES
CHAPTER 6: NEVER GET TOO HIGH, NEVER SINK TOO LOW
1.John McClain (@McClain_on_NFL), Twitter, July 28, 2017, 9:33 a.m., https://twitter.com/mcclain_on_nfl/status/890943238848303104.
2.J. J. Watt (@JJWatt), Twitter, November 2, 2017, 5:08 p.m., https://twitter.com/JJWatt/status/926209339345592321.
CHAPTER 7: IGNORE THE DOUBTERS, FORGIVE THE HATERS
1.Dale Robertson, “Texans No Match for Colts in Playoff Loss,” Houston Chronicle, January 6, 2019, https://www.chron.com/sports/texans/article/Houston-Texans-Indianapolis-Colts-playoffs-recap-13509719.php.
2.Julian Gill, “Onalaska ISD Superintendent Regrets Posting ‘You Can’t Count on a Black Quarterback,’” Houston Chronicle, September 19, 2018, https://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/houston/article/Onalaska-ISD-superintendent-apologizes-for-13236285.php.
3.Gill, “Onalaska ISD Superintendent.”
CHAPTER 9: NEVER STOP PRACTICING, NEVER STOP LEARNING