"Cal, are you out there?"
He lets me go as his mom comes out to the patio.
"Hey, Mom," Cal says, standing at the edge of the pool. "Where's Dad?"
"He went up to take a short nap before dinner. I'm going to put the groceries away then do some reading." She smiles at me. "Hi, Birdie. How are the lessons going?"
"Good," I say, stepping away from Cal. "I haven't actually done any swimming yet but I'm getting more used to the water."
"You'll get there. I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know we're home."
"What time are we leaving?" Cal asks.
"Probably around 6:30. When we get back from dinner we'll have the cake I got your dad."
"Double chocolate with strawberry filling?" Cal says.
"It's the same every year." Barb smiles. "It's his favorite. I need to go put the ice cream away before it melts."
When she's back in the house, I look at Cal. "Maybe I should skip dinner."
"You can't skip dinner. My dad's counting on you being there."
"And I want to be there but—" I chew on my lip.
"But what?"
"You know what."
He comes over to me. "Birdie, things don't have to change between us."
"They already have. That was..." I stop, not sure what to say.
Cal waits for me to continue but I don't. I hear Barb in the kitchen making noise as she puts things away. What if she had come out here and caught us?
"Birdie, say something."
Cal's eyes search my face like he's looking for the answers I'm not giving him. But I don't know what those answers are. I don't even know what he's asking.
"Why'd you do it?" I say.
"We both did. So the question is why did WE do it?"
"You're the one who kissed me."
"You could've pushed me away. But you didn't."
I swallow and look away. "I think we should just forget it happened."
"Is that really what you want or are you just saying that?"
"I don't know. I'm really confused right now."
"Same here."
My eyes return to his. "I kinda hate you."
"I kinda hate you too." He comes closer. "But there's a part of me that doesn't."
My heart's beating fast again. "It'd never work. You and me? We'd kill each other."
"Probably."
"So maybe we shouldn't do that again."
"Then we won't," he says, but the way he's looking at me tells me he wants it to happen again, and that it'd probably be happening right now if his mom wasn't just a few feet away.
"You don't want to?" I ask.
"Why ask the question if we already decided it's not going to happen?"
His eyes are locked on mine. I want him to kiss me again. But I also don't. Because if we kiss again and I feel the way I did before, I'll know there's definitely something between Cal and me. More than a friendship. More than just attraction. Something I'm afraid to even think about with him.
"Can I ask you something?" I say.
"Go ahead."
"Do you really think I'm hot?"
"Hottest girl I've ever seen."
"I'm serious, Cal."
"So am I." His eyes remain on mine. "Why do you even ask? You saw what you did to me."
"But you only date skinny girls. I thought that's what you liked."
"And I keep telling you it's not."
"Then why do you go out with those girls?"
"What are we doing here, Birdie? Are we gonna forget this ever happened or see where it could go?"
"You have a girlfriend, so there's your answer."
"She's not my girlfriend. We've been out twice. You're the one with the boyfriend."
"He's not—" I take a breath.
"We need to make a decision."
"Or maybe we don't."
"Meaning what?"
"Maybe we just go on like normal and see what happens."
"And keep dating other people?"
"If that's what you want."
"Birdie, don't do that shit with me."
"What shit?"
"That shit where you test me to see if I'll make the decision you want me to make. Just tell me what you want."
"I don't know what I want. Do you?"
He sighs. "Let's just do what you suggested. We'll just go on being friends or whatever we are and see what happens."
I nod, agreeing because it was my idea but also feeling a little sad because I actually kind of want to see what it'd be like to date Cal. But it's not a good idea. If it didn't work out, it could make things awkward when I come over to see his parents. And when Taylor and Luke come to visit, we wouldn't be able to go out as a foursome anymore. They'd have to pick Cal or me to hang out with, or deal with the awkwardness of us being together after a breakup.
"Let's finish the lesson," Cal says. "I want you to put your face in the water again but not while floating. Just lean down, put your face in, and see how long you can stay in without coming up for air."
He's all business now, like he really is a swim instructor.
Things have changed between us. All it took was one kiss to change things. I knew it would as soon as we did it. Because that wasn't just any kiss. That was a kiss I won't be able to forget.
After the lesson I go upstairs to Taylor's room to shower and change into my dress. She calls as I'm putting on my makeup.
"Hey, Taylor," I say when I answer. "You care if I wear your earrings?"
"Not at all. Are you in my room?"
"In your bathroom. I'm just finishing my makeup and realized I forgot earrings."
"I don't remember what I left there but wear whatever you want."
"Thanks. So what's new? Is Luke home yet?"
"Tonight. I'm picking him up at the airport."
"So you won't be sleeping tonight."
"Not the entire night," she says with a smile in her voice.
"I don't want to know," I say, putting on mascara. "I'm in a dry spell so hearing you talk about sex is just going to annoy me. Wait until I get a boyfriend and then we'll talk."
"I thought you were dating that guy from work."
"We had one date and have another one planned for this weekend, but I really don't want to go."
"So cancel it and find someone else."
"I feel like I should give it more time." I open her jewelry box and search for earrings. "Maybe it was just a bad first date."
"Or maybe what you said is true. If you don't feel anything for the guy right away then you probably never will."
"Things could change. It's like when people are friends for years and then suddenly realize they like each other."
"Like you and Cal?"
"What?" I drop the earring I was holding. "I don't like Cal!"
"I was using that as an example. It's like you and Cal suddenly having feelings for each other after being friends forever."
"We're not friends. We're enemies."
"You're not enemies. You just argue a lot."
"Are the earrings that look like diamonds fake or real?" I ask, holding up one of the diamond studs.
"Real. I got them for Christmas one year."
"Okay, putting those back." I carefully place them back in the box.
"Birdie, go ahead and wear them. I don't care."
"I'm not wearing real diamonds. What if I lose them?"
"You won't lose them. They'll be in your ears."
"They could fall out."
"They're not going to fall out. Just wear them. Did my mom say where you guys are going for dinner?"
"Yeah, but I can't remember the name of the place. Somewhere fancy. That's all I know."
"What dress are you wearing?"
"The black one with the cap sleeves."
"I love that one. It looks really good on you. That's a good date dress. Totally sexy."
"You think?" I check myself out in the mirror. The dress is knit and clings to my body. "I guess I
do look pretty good tonight."
"The earrings would be perfect with that dress. You have to wear them, Birdie."
"Okay, I will." I carefully put them on, then look in the mirror. "You're right. The earrings look great."
"I'll let you go. You guys have to leave soon. Give my dad a hug for me. I feel really bad missing his birthday."
"I know he'd rather have you here but I'll do my best as his stand-in daughter."
"Thanks! Talk to you later!"
I finish my makeup, then go downstairs to the living room.
"Holy shit," I hear Cal say. I look up and see him coming out of the kitchen. His eyes are on my body, slowly moving up to my face. "Nice dress."
"Thanks."
Cal's wearing a dark suit with a white shirt and gray tie. I don't think I've ever seen him in a suit, or if I have, I forgot how hot he looks wearing one.
"You look good too," I tell him. "I like the suit."
He comes up to me and I smell his cologne. God, it smells good.
"You're making this really difficult," he says in a low voice.
"What's difficult?"
"What we talked about earlier. Going back to how things were?"
"Oh." I step back and scowl at him. "You look like shit, Cal. And did I mention how much I hate you?"
He smiles. "That's more like it."
"Birdie," Lou says as he comes down the stairs. "Glad you could make it."
"I wouldn't miss your birthday." I give him a hug.
"Sorry we have to do this on a school night. We'll try not to keep you out too late."
"It's fine. I don't have class until ten tomorrow."
Barb hurries down the stairs. "We need to leave. I just heard there's a stalled car on the freeway backing up traffic."
"Everyone in the car," Lou says.
We go out to the garage and pile into Lou's luxury SUV. Cal and I sit in the back and I feel like his sister again. This is why I'm so confused. I have such a long history with Cal. We grew up together. Went on trips together. Camped out in the back yard. Spent summers hanging out by the pool. For so long he felt like a brother and then one day everything changed. Why did it have to change?
After dinner we go back to the house and have cake and ice cream. It's late so Barb postpones the present opening until Lou gets back on Saturday, which is good because I didn't bring a gift. I didn't have time. My mom said she'd go with me to get him one later. I'll swing by Saturday and drop it off.
"Dammit," Lou says as we're finishing dessert. He's staring at his phone.
"What's wrong, honey?" Barb asks.
"They moved the photo shoot for the car ad to Saturday."
"Why? What happened?"
"Something about the location moving and only being able to get a permit for Saturday." He sets his phone down. "We'll miss the award ceremony."
"Lou, you can't miss that. You already told them you'd be there."
"What award ceremony?" Cal asks.
"The one for your dad's charity work. I told you about it last week."
"I can't just not show up," Lou says.
"Maybe Cal could go in your place," Barb says.
"That's a great idea!" Lou says. "And he can bring Birdie with."
"ME?" I set my fork down. "Why me?"
"He can't show up alone and Barb will be with me in LA."
"I can't go," I say. "But I'm sure Cal could find someone else."
"Who else would you take?" Lou asks Cal. "Are you seeing someone?"
"Kind of. I've been on a few dates with a girl but it's nothing serious."
"I don't want you taking someone you just met," Lou says. "You're taking Birdie." He gets up from the table. "I'm going to go call my agent. See if he knew about this."
"I need to clean up the dishes and get to bed," Barb says.
Cal takes his plate to the sink. "Mom, do I really have to go to this thing?"
"We can't cancel this late. It'll only be for a few hours. You'll have dinner, get the award, and then you can go." She looks at me. "Birdie, if you need a dress I'll be happy to pay for it."
"That's okay. I have dresses." I bring her my plate.
"It's a formal event. Cal will wear his tuxedo and you'll need an evening gown."
"I have some of my old prom dresses. Would that work?"
She smiles. "Probably not. I'll send you some pictures from last year so you can see the type of dress you'll need. Take Cal shopping with you. He can charge it to his card."
I look at Cal. "I don't think Cal wants to go shopping with me."
"Cal?" she says, giving him that mom look that says he doesn't have a choice in the matter.
He sighs. "Does Thursday work?"
"Maybe. I'll check my work schedule. Oh, wait! I'm supposed to go out with John on Saturday."
"Guess you'll have to cancel," Cal says with a hint of a smile. "C'mon. I'll walk you out."
We go out to my car.
"Sorry about that," Cal says. "But you know my dad. Telling him no is nearly impossible."
I shrug. "Maybe it won't be that bad."
"You've never been to these things. Trust me, they're bad."
"Why? What's bad about them?"
"They're boring and they drag on forever. But the food's usually good."
"Are you really going shopping with me?" I say with a smile.
"I will as long as you don't take five hours to pick something out."
"I won't. I'm a fast shopper." I open the car door. "Well, goodnight. See you at class Thursday."
"Yeah. Drive safe." He shuts my door.
I'm going out with Cal on Saturday night. Just the two of us. Getting dressed up. It'll almost be like we're on a date. But it won't be because we're friends. Friends who shared a kiss.
Damn Cal. Why did he have to kiss me?
Chapter Fourteen
Cal
"Latte with soy milk," I say to the guy at the register.
"That'll be $4.23."
I hand him the money. "Is Birdie on break?"
"Hey, Cal." Birdie comes around the counter, a rag in her hand. "Did you just get here?"
"Yeah. I didn't see you when I came in."
"I was cleaning tables."
"You two know each other?" the guy asks.
"This is the friend I was telling you about," Birdie says. "Cal? Taylor's brother?"
The guys nods. "The golfer."
"You into golf?" I ask the guy.
"No, I just remember Birdie saying you played golf."
"He doesn't just play it," Birdie says. "Cal was on the pro tour."
I wish she'd stop bringing that up. It's just a reminder that I failed.
"I'm John," the guy says. "Birdie's boyfriend."
So this is the guy she's dating? He's not her type at all. Thin with no muscle, wearing big black glasses and attempting to grow a beard. Add a black turtleneck and he'd look like one of those guys who works at the modern art museum, which is the last place Birdie would ever go. She doesn't get modern art. Neither do I.
And he's calling himself her boyfriend? After one date? What the hell?
"Good to meet you," I say.
"You too. Birdie talks about you all the time. I'll go get your drink."
I wait for him to walk away, then say to Birdie, "So that's John."
"Yeah, he's the one who got me the job. I just have to finish wiping tables and then we can go."
It's Thursday and we're going dress shopping. Normally I'd be dreading this but I've kind of been looking forward to it. I didn't see Birdie at all yesterday and I missed her. I saw her at stats today but we didn't have time to talk.
I've been thinking that maybe missing Birdie is more about missing Taylor. Maybe I miss my sister and I'm using Birdie to help me not miss Taylor so much. But Taylor was gone last year too and I didn't miss her.
I don't know what the fuck's going on with me. That kiss Birdie and I had really messed with my brain. I shouldn't have done it but I wanted to so I did
, and now it's all I can think about.
"Here's your drink." John hands it to me, a big smile on his face.
"Thanks." I take the drink and find a table. The place is filled with college students, all either staring at their phone or their laptop, earbuds in, not wanting to be disturbed. I always wonder why people come to a public place to be left alone. Why not just stay home?
As I take a drink of my coffee, Birdie walks past me to clean the table in front of me. Damn, she looks good. The polo shirt that's part of her uniform fits tight to her chest and her black pants cling to her like yoga pants. Or maybe they are yoga pants, except they're not tight at the bottom. Whatever they are, they show off all her curves, making it hard to look away.
"Cal," Birdie says as she cleans. "Could we stop at my house so I can change? I forgot to bring clothes."
"Sure. No problem."
She moves to the next table. "Sorry about that. I could've just driven myself if I knew I was going home."
Her mom dropped her off at campus today, knowing I'd be picking her up to go shopping after work.
John walks over to her, his arm going around her waist. "You're doing a great job." He kisses her cheek.
I almost gag. He is so not her type. She didn't even like the kiss. I saw her shoulders stiffen when he did it. Why is she dating this guy?
He walks over to the area where they keep the coffee stirrers and napkins and starts refilling them.
"Hey, babe," I hear someone say as a hand lands on my shoulder. "What are you doing here?"
I turn and see Lara next to me.
"Hey." I stand up. "Did you just get here?"
"No, I've been here for hours. I was in the study room with my group. We're doing our marketing project."
There's a private study room in the back that can be reserved. I've never used it but I know a lot of people who do.
"I was just heading home," Lara says. "You want to come over?" She smiles, then reaches up and kisses me.
I look over and see Birdie staring at me. When I catch her eye, she quickly looks away and continues to clean.
"Can't tonight," I say to Lara. "Maybe some other time."
"You sure?" She kisses me again. "You don't have to stay long."
Birdie comes over to us, standing right behind Lara. "Hi!"
Lara turns around. "We're still using the table. You'll have to come back later."
Kinda Hate You: An Enemies to Lovers College Romance Page 14