Loved by the Beast

by T E Elliott

  Jacques burst through the door at the sound of her cry. "What's happened? What's the matter?"

  "Oh, Jacques!" she cried into his arms as he came to her on the bed and held her.

  After a while, he asked, "You love him, don't you, Beauty?"

  "Yes, I love him so much, but I don't know in what way."

  At first light, Léa put on one of her sisters' old plain dresses and brushed out her hair but didn't braid it. She wrapped a shawl around her and headed decidedly toward the château. It was early yet, but she stood outside the gates and waited. A carriage was ready outside the house. Lisette stepped out of the château just as the gatekeeper realized she was there.

  "Mademoiselle?" he inquired.

  Before she could say anything, Lisette saw her and came quickly to her but stopped short of the gate.

  At the same time eager and hesitant, she said, "Léa, what are you doing here?"

  "I just wanted to know how he was doing, to hear that he was in good health."

  Lisette studied her face for a moment. "You're pale, have you been ill yourself?"

  Léa shook her head and looked away, pulling the shawl tighter around her. "Are you going somewhere?" she asked, remembering the carriage.

  "Mother wants to go to the city, to consult a physician...about Audric."

  "Is he sick?" She started to worry and came closer to the gates.

  The Duchesse came out of the château then and upon seeing them, began to walk toward them.

  Léa spoke urgently, "Please just tell him that I think of him often."

  "No, Léa, that would torture him," Lisette said as she stared directly at her.

  The Duchesse approached and Léa stepped back.

  "What are you doing here? Haven't you done enough? Go home, Mademoiselle," the Duchesse demanded, then guided Lisette back to the house with her. Lisette turned her head to Léa, but said no more.

  Léa stood numb in front of the gates, her heart twisted for what Audric must be thinking and feeling right now. A deep longing rose within her to climb the gates and go to him, but she also knew that she couldn’t be the cause of more pain if she had no new answer for him. Her hand trembled as she brought it to her face. What should she do now? Reluctantly, she turned toward home, though it felt like home no longer.

  It had been long since sleep was an escape for Audric. At first it numbed the pain and gave him a few hours of peace, now if it did actually overtake him, it only added to the torture. As he slept restlessly now, he found himself in an empty room surrounded on all sides by taunting hideous demons. Each one would call out to him, “Animal,” “Detestable,” “Unworthy,” “Unloved.” Audric turned around the circle frantically, trying to find a friendly face. Then another voice spoke as if inside him, it was Léa’s. She said, “Human. Cherished. Respected.” Her voice turned to a whisper, “Loved.”

  With each word she spoke a demon would vanish. Then she herself appeared before him and he reached out to her only for her to vanish like mist. Then a shadow grew in her place and another hideous face came right before him and screamed, “Rejected!” and laughed with a witch’s cackle.

  He awoke with a sharp intake of breath and the emptiness he’d felt since Léa left hit him full force in the pit of his stomach. He sat up and pulled the Bible sitting on his bedside table over to him. He read some psalms, King David’s laments. “I am weary with my groaning; All night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears.” He read about God as the rejected husband. He read of his Savior, suffering pain for those who did not return his love. Though the cloud remained and the darkness insulated him, the words were like a balm that held the pieces of his heart together for one more breath, one more heartbeat.

  Chapter 22

  Francine carried yet another untouched tray into the kitchen. Cook came over to the table to examine it. “He’s still eaten nothing!”

  “He’s wasting away for love sickness,” Francine sighed.

  “It’s been three weeks! We must find a way to get something in him.”

  “I’ve done all I can, he will only take the water, not even the tea or wine.”

  “Lisette. Has Lisette tried?”

  “I think she’s afraid to try. The Duchesse has given up trying since the doctor said there was nothing to be done for him, and has kept the girl away as well.”

  “Perhaps when the Duchesse is gone, we can persuade Lisette to try. If he’ll listen to anyone, he’ll listen to her, or at least let her in the door!”

  Duchesse d'Aramitz was on her way out. She had given extensive instructions to the servants and now had only to persuade Lisette to do as she bid as well.

  “Are you sure you shouldn’t stay, Mother, he will come around eventually. He must,” Lisette asked her mother as the lady put on her hat and gloves to leave. Lisette didn’t think it wise to leave him in his current state.

  “I can’t stay any longer. I can’t bear to see him like this, and he can’t even bear to look at me. Are you sure you won’t return to your aunt’s with me? She has been expecting you.”

  “I don’t want to return, Mother, especially not now. Even if he won’t see me, I need to stay. But you should take Beatrice back with you to Aunt, she misses Paris and I don’t need her any longer.”

  “Very well. Be sure to write and let me know the moment he comes around. All this fuss over a simple village girl. I don’t see how I’ve done anything so very wrong, and it kills me to see him pining away over it.” She took in an exasperated breath.

  Lisette gaped at her mother in disbelief. Her voice rose, “Don’t you see, he loves her! I don’t understand how you still don’t see the problem, Mother!”

  “I warned him about such foolish notions of love. It would only lead to disappointment. But I suppose it’s only understandable that he would be blinded by emotions for the first girl he’s ever known.”

  “Mother, will you never understand that Audric is only capable of giving the kind of love that goes well beyond mere feelings? Are you even aware that there is such a love?”

  “I am well aware of the kind of love my son is capable of, Lisette, but he’s clearly wasted it on a woman who wasn’t worthy of it.”

  “Perhaps it is best for you to go,” Lisette responded under her breath and crossed her arms.

  Duchesse d'Aramitz lifted her chin. “Goodbye, Lisette,” she said with finality.

  After she was gone, Francine and Cook beckoned Lisette over to them from the direction of the kitchen. Lisette checked out the door one more time then trotted over to them. “You have a plan?” she asked them knowingly.

  “No plan, I’m afraid, just you,” Cook pushed the tray into her hands and gestured toward the stairs.

  Lisette took a deep breath and nodded her head, then bravely walked up the stairs to her brother’s room.

  She shifted the tray to one arm and knocked. No answer. She opened the door slowly and peeked her head in. The room was dark but she could see Audric's outline where he sat with his back to her on the bed.

  “Brother?” She set the tray down and sat gingerly beside him on the bed.

  He turned his head slightly, but seemed to be in a daze. Lisette reached over and fingered the edge of his untucked shirt, she wasn’t sure her touch would be welcome just now.

  “Tell me to hate her and I will,” she ventured.

  “Mother or Léa?” he said without turning.

  “Either.” She was just happy to hear his voice.

  “I would not have you hate either,” his voice was hoarse from disuse, and he tried to clear his throat.

  “Are you thirsty?” She stood back up to fetch the tray.

  “Just water,” he managed.

  “There is no water on this tray, how about tea?”

  He turned his head to her some more and nodded. This was progress. She came around to hand him the teacup and noticed how worn he looked. He took the cup with shaking hands.

  “Why won’t you eat? It won’t bring her back to
waste away.”

  “I’m not hungry,” he answered vaguely.

  “Will you let me open the curtains, Audric? It’s so dark,” she asked.

  “If you must,” his voice betrayed no emotion.

  Lisette pulled one back slowly. He flinched and turned his face. She opened the other and their eyes began to adjust. As she saw him more clearly, she could hardly believe how gaunt he’d become.

  “Please will you eat something, Brother? Even a little.” She didn’t want to push him too fast or he might make her leave, but she also wanted to take this opportunity to meet as many needs as she could.

  “Do you think she could have loved me if Mother hadn’t have interfered as she did?”

  “Well,” she considered, “if I were to say that your winning charm and dashing good looks would naturally have been enough, you wouldn’t be convinced would you?” she teased.

  He blinked over at her as if seeing her for the first time. She’d gotten his attention.

  “I suppose if that wouldn’t be enough, I can offer you another thought,” this time she was serious. “I’ve been reading the Scriptures you gave me and it says in a particular place that fear has no place in love because ‘perfect love casteth out fear.’ Something about fear causing torment. So, if Léa were afraid while she was here, and I saw it in her myself at times, it stands to reason that her heart had no room for the love you had to offer. And, of course, your love was enough to drive out her fear—her fear of you—but it was Mother’s power over her that caused her fear.”

  He furrowed his brow, the wheels began to turn, and the fog began to lift. He stood up weakly and came over to her. “You’ve got a head on your shoulders, haven’t you, Sister?”

  She smiled wide, “It’s always been there, have you never noticed?”

  “I guess I was too distracted by your mouth and how it never stopped moving,” he returned.

  Lisette exploded in a chorus of laughter and snorting. “If you weren’t in such a state and I weren’t so pleased to hear you speak, I would make you pay for that.” She wagged her finger at him.

  “Lisette, listen,” he took her shoulders, “I have a thought. If I were to go to her, in her own home, where she is at liberty to accept or refuse me without the fear of our mother’s wrath, that, that…” He stopped and rubbed his eyes.

  “When was the last time you slept?” she asked tenderly.

  “I don’t know,” he shook his head to try and clear it.

  “But, Audric, you can’t go out to her, it’s too dangerous—”

  “I must!” he interrupted. “I must, or I will go mad! I’ve repeated every word she said over and over in my head and I can’t just accept this without trying,” his voice grew desperate.

  “And if she still doesn’t accept you…what then?” she asked.

  He turned and ran a hand through his hair. “Then I must move on—I shall…move on.” He turned back to her and waited for her response.

  “Well, then, I’m going with you.”

  “No, no, that is out of the question.” He shook his head.

  “No one will have any reason to harm me and you will need someone to speak for you until we find Léa.”

  He hesitated, then said, “Promise me you’ll leave at the first sign of trouble, no matter what? If anything should happen to you on my behalf...”

  “I promise.”

  He nodded his head. “Very well, when can you be ready?” He looked around for his coat as if he would leave right then.

  “Audric.” Her tone made him turn.

  “What?”

  “You can’t go like this, your own mother wouldn’t hug you, you stink so bad. Take a bath, brush your hair. Eat something for pity’s sake!”

  He walked over to her and hugged her especially tight then said, “You’re right, I shall.”

  She cringed. “Ah, Audric! Now I shall have to bathe too!”

  Chapter 23

  Cook was impressed when Lisette brought the tray down empty. The girl made no mention of their plans but went searching for some key items. She returned to Audric's room half an hour later to find him clean, groomed, and smelling much more pleasant. The girl set her finds on the bed, then showed them to him.

  “I’ve gathered a couple needful things.” She picked up a dark cloak. “One of Father’s old hooded cloaks, we don’t want to draw unnecessary attention. Also the key to the side gate.”

  “How did you manage to get that?” he asked, impressed.

  “I have my ways,” she gave him a sly smile. “Are you ready?”

  He took in a deep breath, “Yes, I think so.”

  They made their way to the side gate, careful not to be seen by anyone. Upon entering the woods, they realized they didn’t know exactly where Léa’s home was, other than that it was adjacent to their own. They decided to stay hidden in the woods while keeping the main road in sight, hoping that would lead them to a nearby cottage where they could inquire further. As it happened, by following the road, they ended up exactly where they wanted to be.

  Standing at the edge of the forest, they observed a small cottage at the front of the homestead and what looked to be a newly constructed manor house beyond that. Audric took a guess that newly acquired wealth would have prompted the building of a finer home, so they decided to try there first. He pulled his hood tighter around him and turned his back to the door as Lisette approached and knocked.

  A young maid opened the door and inquired who she was there to see.

  “Yes, is Léa at home?”

  “Léa?” The maid was perplexed, “There is no Léa here.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” Lisette turned to her brother, who turned his head slightly.

  “Ask for Beauty,” he said under his breath.

  She remembered the man at the gate had called her that. “Is there a Beauty here?” she tried again.

  “Would you step into the sitting room, Mademoiselle?” The maid began to look at the hooded man suspiciously.

  “Thank you, we’ll be fine to wait here.”

  “Very good, miss,” her voice held little warmth.

  They waited a few moments, then a young man stepped out of the door, followed behind by a woman who looked like Léa only with a narrower face and sharper features. Lisette recognized the man as Léa’s brother.

  “Can I help you?” he asked with a wary frown on his face. When he looked more closely at Lisette, his face softened in recognition. “Mademoiselle Rousseau?”

  “Yes, you’re Léa’s brother, right? I mean Beauty! I recognize you.”

  “Yes, Jacques, and this is our sister, Juliette,” he gestured to the woman behind him then gazed over at the man whose back was to them with a grim, questioning look.

  Lisette noticed and knew she’d better make this fast. “Is Beauty not at home?”

  “No,” he drew out the word and paused. “Monsieur Rousseau?” He turned his attention to the hooded man.

  Audric lifted his head and turned it to the side sharply, his face still covered by the hood. Juliette perked up at the insinuation with sudden curiosity. Lisette began to panic, she didn’t know whether Jacques would regard her brother favorably or not.

  Jacques noticed Lisette’s fear and felt for her. A mixture of emotions hit him as he realized who was standing before him. He knew how Beauty felt about the man, and that she had nothing but good things to say about him, but he was still mixed up with his sister’s misfortunes.

  “What are you doing here?” It wasn’t intentional, but his voice held a slight animosity to it.

  “Please!” Lisette stepped toward him, “Jacques? We mean no harm to Léa, we just need to talk to her.”

  Jacques turned his head to the side, contemplating what he should do. Finally, he nodded his head.

  “Very well. She’s in town, at a Madame Beaumont’s house.”

  Lisette glanced back at her brother, uncertain, then asked, “My brother cannot be seen in town, is there another way?”
r />   “There is a way that avoids the square and is more…discreet. I can take you myself.”

  “You are so kind, would you excuse me just a moment?” She turned to her brother and spoke in a low voice, “You can’t go to town, it’s too dangerous.”

  He thought for but a moment then said, “I know, but this may be our only chance.”

  Lisette reluctantly turned back to Jacques, fear beginning to niggle in her mind. Everything told her this was a bad idea. The thought struggled within her for a moment, then she looked intently up into Jacques’ face.

  “You risked your life once to see your sister, and now my brother wants to risk his to do the same, can I trust you?”

  Jacques studied her face for a moment. “If you can promise me that your brother will cause no harm to come to my sister, then I promise I will do nothing to bring harm to him.”

  “Fair enough, I promise. We have an understanding then?”

  Instead of answering, he turned to Audric, “Monsieur Rousseau, my sister speaks very highly of you, but I’m not convinced as of yet. Do you promise me the same thing your sister just has?”

  “I do, with all my heart,” he answered with feeling.

  “Then we have an understanding.” He looked back to Lisette, who nodded her head.

  “Let’s move quickly then,” she replied.

  Juliette followed them all at a distance, keeping her eyes locked on Monsieur Rousseau. He held his hood close around his face as they made their way to the village. Jacques and Lisette took the lead, the girl for once not saying a word. When they arrived at Madame Beaumont’s house and the maid gave them entrance, Juliette left them without anyone noticing she was gone. When everyone was inside, Jacques took the liberty of bolting the door. Audric hung back in the shadow of the entryway while Jacques and Lisette moved a few paces forward.