Forgiving Keven: A Stand-Alone Second Chance Romance

by Siobhan Davis

  “Well then,” she says, talking over a mouthful of food. “We’ll just have to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

  Chapter 16

  Cheryl

  The next week crawls by in an agonizingly slow fashion. I throw myself into my studies and my projects and do a few extra hours in the studio to keep myself distracted. I stay up studying late every night until my eyelids grow heavy and I slip into a sleep coma before I can think about the new layer of pain blanketing my heart.

  I’m trying hard to ignore Keven, but my mind meanders a lot while I’m in class and at work, and he’s all my lovesick brain can think about. I’ve probably gone through the whole gamut of emotions this week, and I’m tired of overanalyzing it.

  I know he’s trying to protect me.

  Only a fool would deny that, but I can’t get over the fact he lied to me about so many things. It makes me question every moment we’ve spent together recently, wondering if all of it was a lie.

  I’m hurt and feeling betrayed all over again, and I just want this piercing pain in my chest to go away. It doesn’t help that he refuses to sleep at home.

  Every morning, I leave Lin’s place and he’s there—propped against the wall, softly snoring, with a light blanket covering him. It looks awkward as hell, and I’m sure it’s uncomfortable, but he shows up every night, at some point, taking up residence in the hallway.

  He’s making it very difficult to hold onto my anger.

  Not just because he’s doing everything in his power to watch over me, but because he looks so Goddamned adorable when he’s asleep. I have to hurry past him each morning because the craving to wrap myself around him is almost too much to control.

  I love him.

  I love him so much.

  And this is killing me as much as it’s killing him.

  But how can I trust him when he keeps letting me down?

  Lin’s no help. She’s clearly turned to the dark side. Oh, she thinks I haven’t noticed, but I have. She never misses an opportunity to sing his praises. To subtly champion his cause. She’s tiptoeing around me because she can see I’m an emotional maelstrom, but she’s biding her time, and she’s going to hit me with it any day now. I have a sneaking suspicion she’s bringing him into the apartment after I leave because I swear I smelled his cologne in the living room the other day.

  Sunday morning, I open the door carefully, poking my head into the corridor. Sure enough, there he is. This time, he’s fallen asleep on his side on the floor, and he’s shivering even under the blanket. My heart melts a little at the sight of him, and I can’t leave him like that.

  I’m not completely cruel.

  Padding quietly to the guest bedroom, I grab my pillow and comforter and head back outside. I close the door with military precision, and only those with supersonic hearing would hear the tiny click as the door locks. Very carefully, I rest my comforter over the sleeping hulk of a man and gently slide the pillow under his head. “Cheryl,” he murmurs in a sleep-drenched tone, and I freeze.

  I don’t want him to wake up. I’m not ready to confront him yet.

  But he’s not awake.

  He’s talking in his sleep.

  And he’s murmuring my name.

  I press a shaky hand over my mouth, stifling a sob, staring at him for a few minutes while my heart battles my head. I know the only person I’m kidding with my cold-shoulder approach is myself. I understand it’s only a matter of time before I cave, but I need to make a point. Keven can’t expect to be in a relationship with me if he’s going to keep secrets. That’s not how it works, and unless he’s prepared to level with me, we have no future.

  I’m melancholy as I walk to meet Eva at the gym. She’s agreed to help me with self-defense lessons for now. I don’t want to disregard Keven’s warning about Dan. I’ve seen for myself how unhinged he was the day I broke things off with him, and he isn’t showing any signs of backing down.

  He’s sent flowers to me every single day, and he even had the nerve to show up at the studio on Thursday evening. I got Sara to throw him out. He stood out on the sidewalk, staring at me, making it clear he intended to wait until I’d left for the evening. But Sara threatened to call the cops. The minute she mentioned a restraining order, he took off, and I could breathe again.

  I know the FBI has someone following Daniel and that Keven is paying for twenty-four-hour bodyguard protection for me. Eva let that slip, but she hasn’t said much else about Kev, and I appreciate that she’s trying to be a good friend to me and not choosing sides.

  After an hour practicing, we both hit the showers and walk together to a nearby café for breakfast. “Can we talk about the elephant in the room?” she says after the waitress has cleared our plates and refilled our coffee cups.

  I sigh, leaning back in my chair, knowing exactly what she wants to discuss. “I’m hurting all over again,” I admit, accepting we need to have this conversation.

  “I know you are, and he hates himself for upsetting you.” She takes a sip of her coffee. “Is he still sleeping outside your friend’s place?”

  I nod. “He’s there every morning, without fail.”

  “He’s also working around the clock, not finishing until the early hours. He is trying his best to find something, anything, that can link your ex to something illegal. He’s worried sick, Cheryl, and he cares about you so much.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you?” She puts her mug down and stretches across the table, lowering her voice. “He only took that FBI job to protect you, and he’s bent plenty of rules to ensure you’re safe. When you refused to leave the house until speaking to Daniel, he slept outside in his car. He has also assigned bodyguards to keep watch over your family in case Daniel tries to get to you through them.” She reaches out, taking my hand. “He wanted to tell you, but he couldn’t.”

  “Because of his job.”

  “No.” She shakes her head. “Because of you. If he told you at the very start that he was an FBI analyst and he shared all the intel he had on Daniel, would you have believed him? Or would you have pushed him away and confronted Daniel to know if it was true?”

  I stay quiet, because no one needs to hear me admit it out loud.

  “If he’d come clean, you might have jeopardized the entire mission. He didn’t care about losing his job—only that he’d go to jail and be unable to take care of you then. But it’s more than that. Truckloads of new girls are being smuggled into Boston on a daily basis. Your ex has established new contacts, and more and more young girls are being forced into prostitution. They are subjected to inhumane conditions and horrendous abuse. Some of them are as young as ten. Keven couldn’t risk telling you the truth because there was far too much at stake.”

  I know it makes sense, and I know he’s only trying to do the right thing, but I can’t force that lingering doubt aside. The past continues to threaten my present and my future. “But is it real, Eva? How do I know it’s real?”

  She places her hand over my heart. “What do you feel in here?” She presses her palm down. “Your heart will never let you down, and you need to learn to trust in it.”

  Tears prick my eyes. “I’m afraid to let him back in, because if it doesn’t work this time, it will kill me. I will never recover a second time.”

  “I understand that so well, but you have to believe in your love. Trust it to guide you along the right path.” She takes her hand away, gesturing at the waitress for the check. “I don’t know if this helps, but I understand the way a man looks at a woman when he loves her with every part of his being. Jeremy never looked at me like that. I was a possession, a commodity to him, but it’s the complete opposite with Kade. I know how much he loves me by the way he looks at me. It’s the same way Keven looks at you.” She glances over my shoulder, and her eyes light up.

  “Ready to go, love?” Kade asks, leaning down t
o kiss his wife on the lips. It’s only a brief kiss, but it’s wholly intimate because of the way their eyes lock on to one another and the way they both reach for each other at the same time. Kade has just proven Eva’s point, and my heart hurts looking at them even though I’m happy they’re happy.

  “Can I give you a ride, Cheryl?” Kade asks, leaning in to kiss my cheek as Eva stands, pulling on her coat.

  “It’s not that far to walk. I’m good.”

  He pins me with a stern look. “You’re coming with us, and don’t attempt to argue because Keven isn’t the only Kennedy with a wicked stubborn streak.”

  I don’t fight it, letting Kade and Eva drop me off. Before I walk away, Kade calls me back. “I know you’re angry at my brother, but don’t let him go. Haven’t you wasted enough years apart? He loves you. You love him. You two were always meant to be together. Stop fighting it. Talk to him. Work out your issues, and find a way to move forward. A love like yours is too precious to walk away from.”

  Eva swipes at the tears pooling in her eyes, and the look of love on her face as she stares at her husband is something I aspire to.

  “Thanks, Kade.”

  “Anytime. Like I said, you’re family, Cheryl.”

  I wave them off and head back to Lin’s apartment with a new spring in my step.

  “I’m glad you’ve come to your senses,” Lin says a couple of hours later as I’m preparing to leave. “And even though I’m going to miss having you around, I’m glad you’re going back to Keven’s. I feel less panicked knowing you’re with him.”

  I pull her into a hug. “Thank you for everything.”

  “Anytime, girlfriend. Anytime. Now go eat humble pie and lure that hunk of a man into your bed.”

  I roll my eyes, laughing, as I pick up my bag and walk away.

  Butterflies are tumbling through my chest as I take the elevator to Kev’s penthouse. I didn’t call him in advance, wanting to surprise him. But as I step out of the elevator, the only one surprised is me.

  Keven is standing in the doorway of his place with his arms wrapped around a gorgeous redhead. He’s smiling down at her, and she’s clinging to him in a way that screams familiarity. My stomach lurches violently, and nausea swims up my throat. The pain in my chest is so intense it feels like I’m having a coronary. I repeatedly stab the down arrow on the elevator, willing the doors to shut before he sees me.

  I’m fighting tears, swallowing over the lump in my throat as the doors start closing. At the last second, Keven looks over and sees me, and his face drops. Then the doors shut, and I collapse against the wall, sobbing, while my heart breaks all over again.

  Chapter 17

  Keven

  “Shit!” I release Rachel and race after the elevator, but it’s too late. It’s already on the descent again.

  “What the fuck, Kev?” Rachel comes up alongside me, frowning.

  I grip her shoulders. “Do me a favor. Ask Brad to park and come back up. Cheryl just saw us hugging, and she’s jumped to conclusions. I’m going after her, but I’ll need you to explain it because she won’t believe me.” I thrust my keycard at her. “Go back inside and call Brad. Then wait for me.”

  “Okay, fine. But who’s Cheryl?” she asks, looking confused.

  “She’s the love of my life,” I shout over my shoulder, sprinting toward the stairwell. I fly down the stairs as fast as my legs will carry me, and I reach the underground level a couple minutes after the elevator. I slam through the doors into the parking lot, looking frantically all around me. I spot the top of Cheryl’s blonde head over on my left, and I run after her. “Cheryl! Wait!” I holler.

  Her shoulders stiffen at my words, and then she starts running, hurrying toward a rust-colored Audi that has clearly seen better days.

  I reach her just as she pulls out of the parking space, prepared to drive off. I react on instinct, jumping in front of the car, and she slams on the brakes before knocking into me. My heart thuds behind my ribcage as adrenaline floods my system. I pound my fists on the hood of the car, glaring at her. “Get out of the fucking car, Cheryl.” I am so fucking done with this running away shit. It fucking ends now.

  She lowers her window and screams at me. “Get the fuck out of my way, or I swear I’ll drive over you!”

  “What the hell is going on, Kev?” Brad asks in an incredulous tone as he materializes at my side. His gaze bounces between me and Cheryl like we’ve both completely lost it. He lowers his head, squinting as he looks through the windshield. “Is that Cheryl Keeland?” He looks to me for answers. Brad also attended Old Colonial High, and he practically lived at our house growing up, so he knows her well. Walking around the side of the car, he peers into the driver’s side window. “Hey, it is you, Cheryl. How are you here?”

  “It’s a long story,” I answer on her behalf. “One I’ll tell you if you can please fucking explain to Cheryl that she is fucking overreacting and that the redhead I was hugging at my door is your girlfriend.”

  Brad casually removes his cell, swiping the screen with his finger, and puts the phone in Cheryl’s face. “That’s me with my girlfriend, Rach.”

  She bites down on her lower lip as she studies the photo.

  When she’s done, Brad slides the cell back in his pocket, fixing Cheryl with a soft look as he explains. “We just had lunch at Kev’s place. I left to drop our other friends, Gavin and Lauren, at the train station, and I was circling back to pick up Rach when she called and said there was some emergency and I had to return to the penthouse.”

  A car honks its horn behind Cheryl, and I glance up, noticing a line forming.

  She jerks her head to me through the windshield. “Move so I can park,” she snaps, equally as pissed as me, although she’s probably feeling foolish for jumping to the wrong conclusion.

  Again.

  This is becoming a habit. One I need to stomp out pronto.

  I step aside so she can park, using the opportunity to cool my jets. I don’t want to lose sight of the important thing here—she was coming back to me, and that’s all that counts.

  “What’s going on?” Brad asks as we both watch Cheryl park that piece of shit she’s driving.

  “I want her back, but the fucking past keeps getting in the way.”

  “You kept that quiet,” he murmurs while Cheryl climbs out of the car.

  “I had good reason to.”

  I walk away from Brad, toward Cheryl, reaching her before she’s pulled her bag out from the back seat. Without giving her time to reject me, I reel her into my arms, hugging the shit out of her. She tries to protest, wriggling in my embrace, but it’s a poor attempt. I close my eyes and hold her close. “Stop fighting this. And stop running the fuck away before I’ve had time to explain.”

  “I’m sorry,” she sobs, clinging to my shirt. “I’m such a hot mess. Seeing you with your arms around her hurt so much.”

  I tip her chin up so I’m looking directly in her eyes. “I don’t know what else I can do or say to make you see how much I love you. I only want you, Cheryl. There’s never been anyone else.”

  She circles her arms around my neck, squeezing me tight. “I’m sorry I’m making a mess of everything, but I promise I won’t run from you again.”

  “In the interests of transparency, you should know that Rachel and I kissed, before she got together with McConaughey, but it was only casual, on both our parts, and we are purely platonic friends now.”

  Her chest heaves as she peers deep into my eyes. “I believe you. Thanks for telling me, and I do love you, Keven. So, so much. I’m just scared.”

  I kiss the top of her head. “Don’t be. It’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

  After Brad and Rachel leave, having satisfied an embarrassed Cheryl that the hug she witnessed was nothing more than a hug between two good friends, I run Cheryl a bath and force her i
nto the bathroom while I make dinner.

  She wanders into the kitchen a half hour later, barefoot, with damp hair, wearing gray sweats and a white tank, and she’s never looked more beautiful. “Something smells good,” she says, leaning her face in to sniff the sauce. “It’s only chicken, noodles, and sauce, but it’s all fresh, nothing out of a jar.”

  Tentatively, she wraps her arms around me from behind, resting her head on my back. A deep sense of contentment washes over me. Turning the heat off the stove, I turn around, lifting her up and setting her down on the island unit. I nudge her legs aside and step into her body, grasping the back of her neck and drawing her close to me. “You infuriate the hell out of me,” I whisper before sweeping my lips against hers. “And we’ve got lots to discuss,” I add before pecking her lips more firmly. “But I need to fucking kiss you right now.”

  “You won’t hear any objections from me,” she pants, and that’s all I need to hear.

  I kiss her lips thoroughly, devouring her mouth with my lips and my tongue, holding her tight body flush against mine as I reclaim her mouth over and over. When we finally come up for air, I lay my head on her shoulder, and she runs her small hand up and down my back. Neither of us speaks, but we don’t need words to communicate.

  At last, I think we’re finally on the same page.

  After we eat, we take our wine into the living area and sit on the couch beside one another. I take her feet into my hands, kneading her flesh as I begin explaining everything. She doesn’t interrupt, letting me tell her how it all went down, and I hold absolutely nothing back, including classified stuff I shouldn’t be telling her, but I know she won’t breathe a word to anyone. When I get to the part about her ex and the underage girls, she turns white in the face.

  “Oh my God.” She puts her glass down, clamping her hand over her mouth, and a tormented look ghosts over her face. “I can’t believe I was so blind. I can’t believe he was doing that behind my back. It’s horrendous. Those poor girls.”