The Darkness Within

by Taylor K. Scott

  Everyone takes at least one step back when Bowie leaps from his chair, looking like a predatory jungle cat ready to make chase after its prey with zero room for second chances. However, I know my friend well, and she’s not going to back down until she’s taking her very last breath. Even then, she’d probably just give him the finger. I feel a little guilty for enjoying the entertainment, given I now have someone on my side with a quicker, more wicked mouth than both Bowie and Melody combined.

  “You know jack shit about my family, and as for her brother, he’s a motherfucking scumbag who violated my sister!” he growls, padding closer and closer towards her, his darkened eyes sizing her up before the pounce, while the whole hall holds their breath in collective anticipation over what’s going to happen next.

  “Yeah, Bowie, her brother!” she argues back with just as much malice. “Not her, so back the fuck off! Tell me, does Sam know you’re making Grant’s sister’s life hell for her?”

  As his head looks about ready to explode, she only looks calm, collected, and ready to push him to the very brink of insanity.

  “Because as far as I know, Sam loved Millie, one might say more than she loved her real brother.” I close my eyes and wince, waiting for Bowie to land one on her. “In fact, I bet if you really think about it, I bet she wishes Mils was her sibling instead of you. A bit like your best friend cares more about Mils than you. Careful Bowie, we all know how tough you had it when you first joined middle school. You were nothing but the school bully who no one wanted to play with. Just because you have a football star body and a nice coif, doesn’t mean people won’t see you for the evil villain you really are!”

  A few people audibly gasp as my friend delivers her own form of justice on Bowie Phillips, and I wait for the oncoming reaction that will no doubt end in blood, sweat, and tears. However, to my surprise, he rips his bag up from the ground and thunders out of the hall, pushing a few Sophomores out of the way as he does.

  Eventually, the rest of the hall quietly turns away and returns to their lunchtime conversations. When I feel safe, I look over at Mercy with my still shocked expression. She merely shrugs, smiles, then pulls me along to go and have lunch with her.

  “That was fun!” she giggles when we sit down together, with a few of the other students still eyeing us like stomach-turning, scientific experiments. Mercy eats her lunch as though nothing has happened, while I keep my eyes firmly fixed on the tabletop, trying not to meet anyone’s cold stares. It would seem public enemy number one now has a public enemy number two at her side.

  Chapter 8

  Bowie, 15

  I give Matt my best all-star grin as soon as he opens the door for me, but for a moment or two, I think he’s going to swing it right back in my face again. However, as everyone knows, Matt ‘golden balls’ Walker is a good boy and needs everyone to like him. So, as I could have predicted, he sighs and eventually gestures for me to come in. I pat him on the back in some kind of thanks, then follow him inside to where his homework is spread out all over the living room floor. The dude does his assignments as soon as he gets home for the day and without his parents having to bitch at him to get on and do it.

  With one of the highest GPAs in our year, I don’t exactly have to try that hard, but my Mom still reigns down hell and fire when she knows I’ve left my homework till the last minute. That said, I’m probably going to end up giving the poor woman early heart failure seeing as that’s pretty much the standard treatment I give to all my assignments. What can I say? Academics and sports just come easily to a smug bastard like me.

  It doesn’t take a lot to talk Matt into blowing off the mess of work on the floor and to come out and have a drink with me in the back yard instead. I kind of feel responsible for landing my little surprise on Fridge without a head’s up to him first. We clink our cola bottles, the old-fashioned glass kind, then slump back into a couple of deckchairs in the late afternoon sun.

  We sit in silence to begin with, each one of us trying to meander through the weirdness of our situation. He loves Amelia Thomas, while I’ve loathed her for such a long time, I guess you could say it’s become second nature to torment the girl. However, that’s the nature of this little love, hate, triangle, except I don’t love anyone, only my family. As far as I’m concerned, love turns you soft and stupid like my best friend here, pining after some chick that doesn’t want your tongue, hands, or anything else anywhere near them.

  “How’s Sam?” he eventually breaks the silence and rests forward onto his knees. “She settled in yet?”

  “As far as I know,” I shrug, having only spoken to her when she first got to her apartment in Michigan. “She won’t get a roommate until the beginning of the new term, but I guess she could do with some alone time anyway.”

  “I’m sorry, man,” he says through a heavy sigh.

  “Why the fuck are you sorry?” I laugh mirthlessly at him, “I thought it was going to be me apologizing to you for my little stunt today.”

  “I mean about your sister. I should never have let anything beyond alcohol in the house. Half the guys on the football team are a bunch of immature Neanderthals; something bad was bound to happen.”

  “Granted, weed probably wasn’t the best idea but as for the clientele? It was her own boyfriend, Matt, you couldn’t have stopped that from happening if he was going to do it.”

  I find my hands already clenched up in anger without me even realizing I had balled them up in the first place.

  “She must be…I can’t even think about how she must be feeling right now!” Matt huffs with wide eyes, staring into space and grimacing over the idea of what Sam had to endure.

  “I can’t get past the look in her eyes when she told me,” I shuffle forward, matching Matt’s contemplative, hunched position, talking about it for the first time with anyone. “I was shocked, Matt; I mean I liked Grant. Couldn’t understand how his sister was so different from him. But how could someone who professed to love her, do that?!”

  “I’m not sure people who do what he did are in their right mind when they do it, Bowie,” Matt shrugs, “they just snap, I guess.”

  “Well, I hope he gets the maximum for it…motherfucker!” Like a light switch, my emotions run from abject misery for my sister, to out and out rage. They’ve been yo-yo-ing like this ever since I found Sam, huddled in the corner of her room in floods of tears, still wearing the ripped outfit from where he had grabbed her. “I had to be the one to tell Mom and Dad for her. She couldn’t do it herself, she said she felt too ashamed! Can you believe that?”

  He doesn’t reply, just pats me on the shoulder and shakes his head in silent support. We may be eons apart when it comes to our attitudes to work, our game-play, and fucking Amelia Thomas, but the boy is truly one of my best friends and hopefully always will be.

  Amelia

  A multitude of emotions takes over me as I eavesdrop on the conversation between Matt and Bowie: hurt, sadness, guilt, anger. It’s not like I meant to listen in on their private conversation, not that Bowie has a very high regard for people’s privacy, but I had wandered over to try and make amends with Matt. They were already out and I found myself unable to move, being too engrossed in the subject of their talk.

  I shiver, though it isn’t remotely cold, and stand a little longer before deciding I should leave them to it. However, Matt’s voice freezes me to the spot, and my willpower must suck because I find myself listening in again.

  “You can’t show her diary anymore,” he says firmly but in his own friendly Matt kind of way, “not if you value my friendship. That shit’s personal to a girl, and you know how I feel about her.”

  “Dude, I showed you what she wrote. She’s never gonna go there with you,” he argues, throwing his hands in the air and sounding exasperated over Matt’s stubbornness to chase after a girl who he personally can’t stand. “I keep telling you to cut loose from her.”

  “I can’t,” Matt sighs sadly, “I’m in love with her. She’s everyt
hing to me, she just needs time to see that I can be everything to her too.”

  “Oh God, when did you grow a vagina?” Bowie scoffs. “I mean granted she’s totally bonable, and I get you share this history with her, but she’s too smart to manipulate into liking you. Try to find someone less…less-”

  “I don’t want somebody ‘less’ than her!” he cries out angrily, his usual friendly tone completely gone. “I just want her, end of!”

  “Ok, ok,” Bowie chuckles softly, “but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  Feeling sick and goose-pimply, I decide it’s definitely time to leave. I can’t hear any more of this. My head is messed up enough as it is and listening in to a conversation between a guy who says he’s in love with you when you don’t feel the same way back, and a guy whose goal in life is to ruin you, can’t be good for anyone to hear.

  Amelia

  “So, Matt read your diary?” Mercy asks like I’m being way too nonchalant about it. “Aren’t you pissed about that?”

  In my attempts to avoid Bowie, his cronies, and even Matt, we’ve taken to sitting outside for lunch, something I wished I’d done a while back because it’s beyond beautiful out in the midday sun; if I’m lucky, I might even get a little color on my legs this year.

  “Well, yeah, I guess. I can’t say I thought about it like that,” I answer truthfully. I was too caught up in the other stuff and feeling guilty for him seeing my admission to lusting after his best friend instead of him. Oh, what a web we weave!

  I let out a long sigh in frustration, then continue to move my unappetizing pasta around my lunchbox with my fork, failing to consume anything. She tuts over my indifference and starts to gaze off into the distance, enjoying the sun shining down upon her face.

  “Anyway, Grant received his court date, it’s next Friday. Christ, how am I going to face him after hearing what Dad told me about the necklace?”

  “Do you think he’s guilty?” she asks casually like we’re merely discussing the outcome to a cliff-hanger on a daytime soap. This must be all so far removed from her, not like it is for me, awaiting the fate of the closest person in the world to you.

  “No…no, he can’t be,” I say out loud, for the first time since thinking about what that broken necklace meant being inside of his room. That tiny object seems to have changed everything, but I need to stay strong and loyal to him, it’s the least he would do for me. Besides, he’s my brother, the most gentle giant on the planet to the ones he loves, more likely to pound on some guy for looking the wrong way towards me or Sam. “Shit, but what if he’s sent down Mercy?”

  She takes my hand and kisses my cheek in a friendly gesture, only to immediately screw her face up over a slimy couple of guys wolf-whistling as they invade our private moment of solidarity. She flips them the bird, even though they’re already laughing and slumping away. As they disappear from sight, I notice Matt walking around the same building with his arm draped over the shoulders of a girl I’ve never seen before.

  When he starts kissing and cuddling her, both of us sit upright to study the pair in more detail, no doubt looking completely shocked by this new turn of events. Personally, I take a moment or two to assess how I really feel about him sucking face with some other girl, to see how I truly feel about him moving on from me.

  After a minute or so, I conclude that I feel…happy! There’s no jealousy in me whatsoever. In fact, I feel a huge smile spreading across my face as I look at my good friend finding comfort in the arms of another girl. It would seem Bowie managed to talk some sense into him the other night.

  “Well, that’s a new development,” Mercy giggles, seemingly just as pleased about it as I am, “perhaps he’s finally got over you, petal.”

  “Good, I’m glad!” I reply enthusiastically and return to my pasta with a sudden new appetite.

  A few moments later, I feel their shadow looming over us, so I automatically look up with a friendly smile and a ‘go get ‘em’ expression all over my face, hoping to appear encouraging.

  “Hey, Mils,” Matt smiles down at me, completely ignoring Mercy in his greeting. For some reason, they’ve always appeared indifferent to one another, neither acknowledging the other nor spending any significant time in the same vicinity as one another. I’ve never paid much attention to it before but for some reason, it’s now sticking out like a sore thumb. “This is Chloe. She transferred over here a couple of weeks ago. Chloe, this is my best friend, Millie.”

  Putting his frosty attitude towards Mercy to one side, I stand up and smile at his new girlfriend. We awkwardly wave at one another, just like any other pair of normal fifteen-year-old girls would when meeting for the first time.

  “And your competition, sweetheart!” Bowie suddenly chimes in from the side of us, and apart from Chloe, who hopefully knows nothing about his reign of terror on me, we all roll our eyes over his sudden interference.

  Matt bites his lips together before running his hand anxiously through his hair, a tick he’s had since he was seven, possibly for even longer. His death glare has Bowie laughing and jovially slapping his back, acting blasé about creating a sudden atmosphere with his insensitive comment. Chloe keeps her polite smile in place, fake though it is, and pretends to ignore the asshole.

  “I’m just kidding!” Bowie laughs, “Millie is old news since her brother raped my sister and all.”

  I sigh, feeling beyond uncomfortable, and close my eyes slowly as a blush spreads over my cheeks, no doubt amusing my bully even more.

  “Get lost, Bowie,” Mercy decides to enter the conversation from her sunbathing position on the floor, “who asked for your meaningless opinion?”

  “Nice to meet you,” Chloe says directly to me, still acting as though all the banter around me isn’t happening. I smile back because she seems genuinely nice. “Matt has told me so much about you. Perhaps we should all get together sometime? You know, over the summer or something?”

  She grins up at Matt like she’s looking for praise for good behavior, that’s when I know she’s completely smitten with one of the star football players. Who wouldn’t be? Oh yeah, you, Millie, you idiot!

  “Sure, sounds good,” I reply, ignoring the self-loathing going on inside my head, as well as Bowie’s taunting grin. Matt smiles in thanks before turning back to his new beau like a love-sick puppy.

  “Babe, I gotta get over to the other side of the football pitch for practice, I’ll catch you after?”

  Chloe, dressed in perfect preppy clothes ironed to perfection, hair brushed into a neat waterfall of honey-colored hair, grins back at him and nods with way too much enthusiasm. Meanwhile, he looks at her with the same lovesick gooey style I’ve seen Grant pull a thousand times with Sam. A little pang of nostalgia hits me, and I have to look away while they kiss with far too much tongue for public display. I then have to bite my lips together and nudge Mercy with my foot when I catch her waggling her tongue about in the air as they go to town on one another.

  When they eventually come up for breath, Matt waves at me and I return the gesture, before leaning down to get my bag for the next period. Chloe continues watching Matt walk away until she can no longer follow him, then snaps her head around to face me with such speed, I’m almost certain she’s caused herself whiplash.

  “Listen, Milleeee,” she says in a mocking tone of voice, complete with narrowed slits for eyes and angry, folded arms, “you had your chance and for some stupid reason, you didn’t take it. I don’t know what he saw in you but let’s get one thing straight, he’s mine, got it?”

  “Dafuq dude?” Mercy suddenly stands at the same time my mouth drops to the floor in shock. I even hear Bowie chuckling a little over the sudden change in attitude from Matt’s new girlfriend and is looking just as surprised as we are.

  “Listen, you don’t need to worry about me,” I reply as I swallow back my shock, trying to keep my voice low and quiet. Any more drama from me and I think school will send me off to the counselor for special guidance in how to b
e less of a victim. “Matt and I are just friends.”

  “To you maybe,” Bowie scoffs.

  “Not helping!” I snap.

  “Not trying to!” he replies with that irritating click of his tongue.

  “I don’t care bitch; you stay away from him!” Chloe jabs a finger into my chest and even Bowie drops his mouth open in shock.

  “Fine!” I seemingly concede but then step closer towards her so that I am standing up to my full height, which, fortunately, is a little taller than her. “But Matt’s not stupid, he’ll see through the nice girl act. You can’t hide bitch for long if that’s what you truly are.”

  Her pretty features morph into one mean and ugly looking sneer as she looks me up and down with repulsion before walking away with a ridiculous swing in her hips.

  “Wow!” Bowie raises his brow up to his hairline, watching the aggressive little pixie marching away. “You seem to make friends wherever you go, Fridge!”