Not Even Close (A New Generation)

by Elizabeth Reyes

  “Those are the worst kind,” Xochitl chuckled. “The ones that look all innocent.”

  They were still in the middle of discussing it when another text with the first part of the video came through. Vannah quickly huddled around her roomie. It wasn’t a very good quality video. It was dark and taken from a far. You could barely tell it was a man and a woman arguing and despite them being loud, you couldn’t make out much of what they were saying.

  “Did she just call him insane?” Vannah asked.

  Xochitl nodded with a scoff. “What else is she gonna do, besides deny, deny, deny?”

  They watched all three videos that came through and Xochitl suggested she forward them to Nena for their YouTube channel. “If she labels it with something juicy enough like, wife caught cheating, you guys might get a lot of hits.”

  Vannah agreed. She’d gone back to talking about the laundromat app when she saw the text from Matt. Tapping at her screen, Vannah halted her explanation about the app with Xochitl to read the text.

  Hey, have plans tonight? I’m craving Subway. You hungry?

  Already smirking she texted back that she was in the middle of doing laundry but that she was hungry. When she was done Xochitl posed the same question about her plans for the evening since it was Friday night.

  Trying not to giggle, Vannah prepped herself to respond. As much as they had in common one of their biggest differences was what a grump Xochitl could be compared to Little Miss. Sunshine, as her roommate had dubbed her very early on. Unlike Vannah who was almost always in a laughing mood, there were so many things Xochitl was unnecessarily annoyed by. But it cracked Vannah up how worked up her friend got over said things. She already knew this would be one of them, so she suppressed the smile as she explained.

  “I’ll probably meet Matt for dinner. That was him who just texted me.”

  Xochitl glanced up from her laptop and peered at Vannah. “He the one who doesn’t like coffee?”

  Vannah laughed nodding as she remembered Xochitl’s first reaction when she told her about Matt’s aversion to coffee, and the girl had been suspicious of him ever since. “Vannah, that’s not normal and you know it.” She’d been quick to argue when Vannah asked what the big deal was. “Who doesn’t like coffee?”

  Vannah braced herself for her friend’s reaction this time. “Yeah, he said he’s craving Subway.” Dropping her head back when Xochitl’s mouth fell open, Vannah laughed even more. “What?”

  “Who the hell craves a sandwich on a Friday night?” Vannah fell onto her bed continuing to giggle about her cantankerous roomie’s outburst.

  “Seriously, Vannah, he’s a college guy for crying out loud. Sushi or a slice a pizza and a beer would be a more normal thing to crave after a long week of school. You slap a cold sandwich together when you’re in a hurry or on a budget, but you never crave one. I’m telling you. I don’t trust this guy. Make sure you take your pepper spray.”

  “Oh my God, Xochitl,” Vannah lay there laughing even more. “You’re too much. Take my pepper spray because he’s craving Subway?”

  “Just sayin’.” She held her hand up focusing on her laptop screen again. “He’s been suspect ever since the not liking coffee thing. Now he’s texting a girl he’s trying to impress on a Friday night to say he’s craving Subway? Who does that?”

  The funniest thing about Xochitl’s utter annoyance and suspicion of Matt was that it was absolutely genuine. Just like all the other times she got unnecessarily worked up over something so trivial. Though hearing Xochitl say Matt was trying to impress her, took a little from Vannah’s giddy mood.

  The one thing Vannah had harped on most when she and her sister spoke about her going away to college was that she would not be getting caught up in a relationship. Unlike her boy-crazy sister, Vannah was determined to focus on her academics. As far as she was concerned there’d be plenty of time later for relationships. While she wasn’t opposed to enjoying her college years and having a good time here in there, she wasn’t looking to get involved in anything or anyone who might distract her from the big picture—accomplishing everything she was so determined to achieve in the timeline she’d set out for herself.

  In hindsight she knew now this was why her insides would tighten up each time she saw Matt’s name on her phone screen. She’d met him the very first day of school and every conversation she’d had so far was just the opposite of what she meant by having a little fun. His invitation tonight was a perfect example. Instead of inviting her over for a beer and some pizza at his place which might lead to some harmless fun—most importantly—nothing serious. He’d already mentioned not being much of a partyer and he didn’t strike her as someone who’d be into harmless fun without it resulting in something more serious. Her sister Nena had already burst into laughter when Vannah had mentioned having had lunch with her new friend Matt that first week.

  “Oh, but you’re not getting caught up with boys, right?” Nena had teased.

  She wasn’t.

  Despite the distinct feeling she got from Matt that he was hoping their friendship, and their hanging out turned into more. So far, she’d made herself clear about not wanting to get into anything serious with anyone. Even tonight if he did invite her back to his apartment she’d pass on the invitation.

  Maybe if he was into just the fun thing, she might consider it. He was attractive enough and the more she hung out with him the more comfortable she felt around him. But that was just the thing. She was certain things would get awkward should she allow for anything more physical and then balk at anything serious emotionally. She just couldn’t allow for such distractions. But she could go for a good ole meatball sandwich with a friend, even if it was from Subway.

  Three

  Insanity

  Byron

  There was no mistaking it. Here it’d been over a week since he’d last heard that sweet laugh at his brother’s signing, almost as long since he’d even thought about it, and he didn’t even have to look to know it was her. Before he’d heard it, he’d been standing in the line at Starbucks, as usual lost in thought about things he wished he could just forget about. It’d been over a year since his mother’s untimely death and if anything, instead of getting over it he felt more bitter any time something inadvertently reminded him of her. The morning had started off like so many others ever since he’d accidently been once again forced to remember. He’d been in as foul a mood as he so often was, yet now the corners of his lips were already twitching upwards in that way that’d been so foreign to him for too long.

  He’d question whether or not it was actually her but there was something too distinct about the sweet laughter that there was just no mistaking. Against his better judgement he glanced in the direction of the laughter. Almost as instantly as he’d started to give into the temptation of possibly talking to her this time, the idea was squashed. Their eyes met for just a second, but it was long enough. Long enough for her to obviously recognize him as the creeper from that first day because just like that day, that sweet smile instantly flattened at the sight of him.

  Byron turned away immediately, to his surprise he was up next at the counter and he moved forward. It took him a second to remember what he had every morning but then he did, and he placed his order. Annoyed that he hadn’t thought fast enough to not order anything and just walk out ASAP, he was tempted to just walk away now. Instead, he stood there, feeling inexplicably awkward as fuck as he waited for his drink. Like that first day the laughter had lessened considerably. Byron wouldn’t dare look her way again.

  Not only had she clearly remembered him and how he’d been gawking at her that first day, but there was a dude with her this time. There were others with them at the table she sat at—girls—but they were all a blur the moment his eyes had met with hers. Like the first time he’d seen her, even as she’d laughed so unabashedly there was still that air of nervousness in those big brown eyes when they’d met with his. He’d like to think she was just shy, or like him s
he’d felt so oddly struck she wasn’t sure what to make of it. But there was still the very real possibility that he’d just crept her the hell out again.

  Byron hadn’t even realized her laughter had him smiling big and goofy again, until he saw the guy with her, and his smile instantly deflated. She’d been smiling big at the very moment as she wiped something off the guys lip with her finger. It’s when she noticed Byron staring at her again, and her smile flatlined as well. Albeit not so instantly this time but the unease in her expression hadn’t been missed.

  All Byron needed now was to be caught glancing her way again. For all he knew she may’ve already alerted her boyfriend about Byron and where she recognized him from. Maybe the other girls with her were the same as the ones with her the day of the signing and they were all whispering about it now too. If Byron did get caught looking over there again it’d be all her boyfriend would need to make a show of looking out for his chick. Byron was in no mood to start off his day with some freshman punk getting in his face over a girl he didn’t even know.

  It felt like an eternity, but they finally called out Byron’s name and order. He took it and stalked out of there without so much as a glance back. For a moment as he drove to work, he wondered if the guy with her was who she’d stood in line for so long to get things signed for. Beast’s remark about the little girls getting things signed for their daddy’s and boyfriends hadn’t been forgotten.

  Annoyed that he’d let this girl, this complete stranger, take up even another one of his thoughts, he shook it off before he even got to work. The rest of his workday went on smoothly and he’d all but forgotten about that morning’s petty incident.

  Until he got to the gym.

  Byron headed to 5th Street after work for a much-needed workout. He’d been trying to get in there as often as he could to work off some steam since Beast insisted it was the best way to do so. Though Nine was always quick to point out better ways to work off steam.

  Admittedly Nine did have a point and Byron did work off steam in other ways often enough, but it never gave him the same feeling of accomplishment a workout at the gym did. He’d been about a half-hour into it when he heard it. That now exasperatingly familiar laughter

  “No fucking way,” he muttered refusing to look up or around for her.

  What were the odds he’d be running into her again on the same day? But after hearing it again he was almost certain. Almost. Because unlike that morning when there was no question about it, there was something slightly off this time. The genuine sweetness he’d been so inexplicably sucked into before, was a bit more smoldering this time.

  Unable to fight the temptation, he looked up just in time to see her smile big at the muscle-head who towered over her. There was another couple with them. The guy she was addressing was clearly enjoying her flirting. Byron had barely looked at her long enough that morning to notice her clothes. All he remembered was there was nothing that stood out about it. If he’d had to guess, she was dressed in normal casual classroom attire.

  Now she was in workout gear. Tight, body hugging black training leggings and an equally tight bright pink crop top. Just like the first day when he noticed she was petite in stature; the womanly curves contradicted any assumptions that she was really just a little girl like Beast had suggested. Sure, she was young and her wide-eyed reaction to being gawked at by a total stranger, had been somewhat proof of her possible inexperience. Though at the moment she looked anything but shy or innocent.

  For a second, he considered the possibility that this wasn’t her. He’d only ever seen the girl twice and both times he hadn’t allowed himself to look at her too long. Even the other girl with her didn’t look like any of the other girls he’d seen her with at the signing. And this guy she was so shamelessly flirting with was not the same one whose lip she’d wiped something off from just that morning.

  Breathing a little easier and not understanding why, he’d just about convinced himself of it now. Byron had definitely been wound way too tight lately. So much so, he was letting stupid shit like this boggle his mind. Like any of this should matter to him in the first place. But that’s all it was. He’d forced himself not to think about it all day and now the first girl that even resembled or sounded like her he convinced himself it was. He’d been mistaken, and he was sure of it now, this wasn’t her.

  And then their eyes met, and he froze.

  There was no denying it now. This wasn’t someone who just resembled her. This was her. Feeling like an idiot for having been caught staring, yet again, Byron sucked in a breath waiting for the inevitable. For her smile to flatten and for that wide-eyed stare. For the third time he’d been caught and now on the same day in two different places. He wouldn’t even blame her if she saw fit to call security on someone, she no doubt thought was stalking her now.

  To his utter surprise her smile didn’t wane this time like it had all the other times. Instead, it remained, and her teeth sunk into her bottom lip. It was subtle and not quite as blatant as some girls, but she fluttered her lashes at Byron. He actually turned around to check if she might be doing all this on someone else’s account. Glancing back at her again Byron could not believe the reaction his entire body had to this girl. His insides were doing the thing he hadn’t felt since way back when he’d first discovered girls and flirting.

  It wasn’t until the guy said something and she turned to him laughing again that it all abruptly came together for him. She’d been having coffee and laughing it up with some dude that morning, flirting with this meathead now, while at the same time fluttering her lashes at Byron

  Doesn’t matter what kind of reputation they get because once they’re done with school, they go back to mommy and daddy with a clean slate, and never look back.

  As disappointing, as the awakening slap of reality was, Byron welcomed it. What this girl’s laugh, those eyes, and a fucking smile had begun to do to him without him knowing anything about her—not even her name—was ridiculous. He refused to even glance at her now, especially as he continued to hear her laugh but in that different way. That he could be so aware of the minor difference in a laugh from a person he knew nothing about, was beyond exasperating.

  Only thing Byron could think now was that he had been way too wound up lately. He needed a release and maybe Nine was right. It’d been a while. With no desire to stick around and continue to listen to that laugh he knew would be impossible to ignore now, he grabbed his towel and keys and started out.

  Like an idiot he was once again incapable of walking by her without giving into the temptation of looking at her one last time. Even as she continued to carry on with the other dude she still turned to Byron and not so casually took him in from top to bottom, smiling sweetly the whole time. Then just like that, she turned back to the other guy and indulged him with that same sweet smile. As if she were used to throwing that smile and lash fluttering gazes around like nothing.

  It wasn’t until he was in his car that he realized how tensed up he’d gotten. What the hell? Rolling his neck, as he turned on his car, he glanced into the rearview mirror at his still disgusted expression. He just couldn’t make up his mind what he was more disgusted with. Her behavior in there or his unreasonable reaction to it. Why the hell did he even care?

  As he drove back to his place in complete silence because he wasn’t even in the mood for the radio, something else dawned on him. Not since Lizzette, had he ever felt anything remotely close to the unreasonable yet seething irritation he was feeling now. Not even when he’d ripped into the guy making out with Barbara. In hindsight, he knew now without a doubt his reaction that day had everything to do with his ego than anything else.

  Easing up the grip-of-death he had on the steering wheel, he was doused with a sudden and unwelcome realization. One that had him choking up suddenly. What he was feeling right that second had nothing to do with the random girl he’d become so fixated with for no other reason than her sweet laugh. Lizzette young sweet and completely inn
ocent, despite their being each other’s first everything. He’d been just as innocent as she was back then. The entire experience with her had taken him by storm. It’s what this girl sweet laugh was bringing back to him now.

  Sure, he’d felt the similar gut tightening irritation he felt today since Lizette because of Barbara. But not that other emotion the sweet laughter brought on. He hadn’t allowed himself to think of Lizette in so long he’d completely suppressed all the memories he’d had of her. Her sweet innocent laugh and those wide-eyed stares she so often wore. More importantly what they did to him.

  When he’d fallen into that deep depression after his mother died, he’d pushed all and any memories of both his mother and Lizette even further into his subconscious. With reminder after reminder lately Byron had become such a miserable bastard Beast had even proposed he seek therapy again. He’d done so when his mother had first passed. Though at the time Beast said it’d been at his wife’s suggestion. But his brother had agreed with Byron then that psychiatrists were all quacks. This time he seemed to be agreeing with his wife, that maybe it would do him some good. That had to be it. It’s the only thing that could explain this. Even women he’d actually been in somewhat of a relationship with since Lizette had never had this effect on him. How in the hell could one he’d yet to even formally meet—one he didn’t know the slightest thing about—be doing this to him?

  The visual of those fucking beautiful eyes going so quickly from his to that other guys assaulted him suddenly. His fist slammed against the steering wheel with such force he heard it crack. Breathing deeply, he felt his heart thud against his chest, as the shock of what he’d just done sunk in.

  “Well shit,” he muttered under his breath. “Maybe it is time your psycho ass considers seeing a shrink.”