Not Even Close (A New Generation)

by Elizabeth Reyes

  As she drove back to her dorm, Vannah played out the entire experience again in her head. Almost home, she yelped when her phone rang. She’d been so lost in thought it startled her and it had her giggling now. Glad it was Xochitl she answered quickly.

  “What took you so long?”

  “I was in class when you text me and you know—”

  “He kissed me.”

  There was a moment of silence as Vannah covered her mouth feeling strangely emotional suddenly.

  “He did?”

  “Uh, huh.” Swallowing back the unexplainable emotion, she shook her head, feeling her brows pinch as she drove into her parking space at the dorms.

  “Oh my God! I knew he was into you! Tell me everything and don’t you dare leave anything out.”

  Clearing her throat, Vannah smiled willing back the same feelings of utter enchantment she’d been feeling earlier. She didn’t like this emotional stuff. So, she shook it off and began from the beginning giving Xochitl all the details she’d demanded.

  “And then he kissed me.” She paused when she felt the goosebumps all over her arms just remembering the moment, and closed her eyes to take it in.

  “And then what? What did he say after? Are you gonna see him again?”

  “Well, at first he didn’t say anything. He just stared into my eyes as I completely melted and then he did it again only not as long. He knew I had to be somewhere soon, so after the second time he walked me out to my car.”

  Remembering the way his friends or co-workers smirked knowingly as they walked out of his apartment and down the stairs, Vannah realized where the confusing emotion was coming from. Telling someone about the magical kiss made it even more real but it also made the second part just as real. She’d begun to feel a knot in her belly when she’d seen the way his co-workers eyed her and Byron. They’d even snickered under their breaths. This was probably the norm for Byron. Vannah had even begun to wonder when the last time was, they’d seen him walk someone up or down from his apartment. Was it the day before? That very morning? The feelings of humiliation that she could be so taken by a few kisses, and she very likely was far from the only one he’d kissed that way, had just begun to sink in. Then they reached her car and he kissed her again and she’d melted all over again. It was pathetic but it’d washed all the other feelings away and she’d driven off in mind-bending bliss.

  Leaving the part that had her stomach knotting up again, she answered Xochitl’s other questions. “I don’t know. He held my hand all the way to the car, in front of all his co-workers but that could mean nothing. Then when we reached my car before I could say anything, he kissed me again and Jesus Christ, Xochitl, if kissing were sex, I’d be so pregnant right now.”

  Glad for Xochitl’s giggling, Vannah allowed herself to enjoy the moment again and chuckled too.

  “I’m serious. I wish I could explain it, but it’s indescribable. All I know is I’ve never been kissed like that.”

  Not that she’d been kissed all that many times still, her gut and bursting insides were already telling her she never would be kissed that way by anyone else again.

  “So, what did he say? Don’t tell me he just kissed you and didn’t say anything else.”

  “After the last kiss by my car, he just told me to be careful.” She explained about the OfferUp book exchange. “He leaned his forehead against mine looking into my eyes and you know how intense that man is. And I know you’re going to call me cheesy, but it felt like he was looking deep into my soul. It went on for so long my heart nearly exploded. Then he just told me I’d be hearing from him. Whatever that means. I was in such a daze I think I just nodded and got in my car.” She laughed nervously, willing the emotion away again. “I’m surprised I didn’t crash I was in such a stupor.”

  She heard Xochitl laugh under her breath. “Yeah, cheese. But sometimes cheese is good. Well, we knew he was interested and now this. He’ll be calling you for sure, girl.”

  Quiet for a moment as the confusing fear knotted up her stomach, Vannah sighed. “I guess.”

  “What do you mean? You don’t want him too?”

  “No,” Vannah practically scoffed. “Of course I do, but I’m just saying. If he doesn’t, that’s okay too. I don’t wanna get my hopes up, you know. You’ve seen the guy, Soch. Kissing a girl is likely a harmless and common practice for him. I seriously doubt—"

  She stopped talking when she heard the beep. Glancing down at her phone her heart walloped when she saw the name on the text she’d just gotten.

  With a gasp, she brought her hand to her mouth. “That’s him. He just texted me.”

  “See! Read it! Read it!”

  “Hold on.” Putting Xochitl on speaker, Vannah hit the screen popping the message open and read it out loud. “Check in. Just wanted to see how the book exchange went for my new associate?”

  “Check in?” Of course, Xochitl sounded off-put by that.

  If it weren’t for that last part, Vannah would’ve been snickering at her so easily irritable friend. Instead, Byron’s confusing demeanor the night of the party came to mind. You meet all your friends at frat parties? He’d gone from playfully clarifying they were more than friends today, making her heartbeat skip in the process, to using the more technical term he’d first used-associates. Was this his way of making sure she wouldn’t make more of those heart stopping kisses? That he’d be all for being one of those kinds of friends to her, but his saying they were more than friends today was just his way of preparing her for his startling kiss.

  Since Xochitl was too hung up on the check in thing and hadn’t commented on the second part of his text, neither would Vannah. She wasn’t even sure what to make of it anyway. For all she knew he was just teasing. So, she explained about the other part instead.

  “He’d offered to go with me.” Vannah breathed in deeply in spite of the weird feeling in her belly. “Said it was dangerous. I guess this is his way of checking up to make sure I’m okay?”

  “He’s worried about you already, Vannah.” Xochitl went from sounding off-put to excited. “And yes, I’ve seen the guy, but I’ve also seen the way he looks at you. Then first chance he gets he kisses you, and now he’s checking up on you? Text back!”

  Vannah could practically hear the huge smile in her friend’s voice. “Okay,” she said smiling nervously and began tapping at her phones screen reading as she wrote. “It went fine. I got the book and I’m already home.”

  “Add an open-ended question,” Xochitl urged still sounding as excited as Vannah’s pounding heart felt. “Something he can’t just respond with yes or no. Oh, I know! Bring up his bartering comment. Ask him what other dishes he likes for future reference.”

  Feeling her insides tighten, Vannah went on with the rest of her text, reading it as she wrote it for Xochitl. “Curious, and for future reference in case my car gives me any trouble, what are some of your favorite dishes?”

  “Perfect,” Xochitl said and Vannah hit the send button. “I wish I could stay on the phone with you to see what he responds but my next class already started. I’d skip it but I have a quiz and I can already tell I’m gonna need every point I can get in this class.”

  They hung up, and Vannah hurried out of her car. She had a paper she needed to work on and then still needed to get in those lab hours she’d mentioned to Byron. Her phone dinged before she reached her dorm and she slowed to read the text.

  Never been picky about my food and judging from your cooking skills, whatever you make I’ll love.

  Vannah smiled and before she could even try to come up with another open-ended question, her phone dinged again. She opened her dorm door and walked in putting down her book bag, anxious to read the next text from Byron.

  Can’t stop thinking about your lips. I can still taste them.

  Instantly her insides went wild, but at the same time her heart pounded in utter dread. He was flirting with her, and she sucked at flirting. For a moment she considered calling Nena and just
fessing up. She could use her sister’s skills right about then. But the last thing she wanted was for her sister to unnerve her any further with any ribbing she’d for sure be doing if she knew just how excited Vannah was getting about the prospect of Byron’s lips on hers again.

  Touching her lips, Vannah stood in the middle of the room trying for the life of her to think of something to respond to that. She nearly dropped the phone when it rang. Gasping at Byron’s name on the screen, she brought a hand to her chest and took a deep breath before answering. “Hey,” she said already smiling broadly.

  “Ever been to a grunion run?”

  “Few times actually.”

  Feeling her heart go insane, Vannah managed to hold it together and try to be cool. At least sound like she didn’t feel ready to squeal like a schoolgirl because this felt too close to a possible invitation. “But uh, I haven’t in years.”

  “I know you said you have to put in some lab hours tonight, but the grunion don’t come up until late anyway. You free tonight?”

  With no one around to see her, Vannah allowed her mouth to fall as wide open as it inevitably did, and then did a little crazy excited running in place before composing herself. Not only had he so casually admitted to not being able to stop thinking about her lips, but he was now saying he wanted to see her again—tonight.

  She cleared her throat, praying she could play off not being so damn excited. “Uh, yeah. That sounds like fun actually. I think I was in middle school or something, last time I saw them.”

  “Cool, how late will you be in lab?”

  “Not too late. Seven-thirty, maybe eight.”

  “Perfect. Gives me time to close this place up, take a shower and get ready. I’ll pick you up a little after eight?”

  Wishing she could come up with something a little wittier, Vannah grinned hugely from ear to ear saying the only thing that came to mind at that moment. “Sounds good.”

  Of course, she texted Xochitl the moment she was off the phone with Byron. They went back and forth for a while even as Vannah left and arrived at the school lab. But she eventually had to stop and try and concentrate on her lab time. Between the distraction of Ms. Thang who was at it again flirting outrageously with that same student, and thoughts of Byron’s amazing kisses she realized it was going to be impossible to concentrate.

  As she watched the married administrator at the lab carry on with that guy in a way that Vannah too was now certain they were having a full-blown affair, she shook her head, then cringed. She remembered Byron’s reactions today. Both the more subtle when she mentioned cooking for lots of guys and then the all-out blatant one when she said there was another guy she had to meet up with. And this was before he’d kissed her. She didn’t want to get ahead of herself but if things moved forward between them and they became a couple she could not even imagine being brave or even stupid enough to sneak around on him. As little as she knew about him so far, she didn’t even have to wonder if he’d react violently, possibly frightening, to anything that disrespectful from a girl he’d just met or even one he was seeing, but his wife.

  Despite the distraction of watching Mrs. Diaz and her secret lover, mostly all Vannah could think of was what’d she’d be doing in a few hours and with who. So, she left early to go obsess about what she’d wear. She didn’t want to overdo it, but she didn’t want to look sloppy either.

  Surprisingly, she settled on something to wear fairly quickly. She’d forgotten about the denim shorts romper she hadn’t worn in a while. It was cute and sexy at the same time. Xochitl had said it was figure flattering because it hugged her body just so but not slutty because it wasn’t too tight or too short.

  Since she was done early, she decided maybe she should pack snacks. Looking in the fridge to see what she could put together. There wasn’t a whole lot to work with but thankfully Vannah had skills. She quickly made some chorizo quesadillas with an impromptu avocado salsa she threw together with the few things they had in the fridge and pantry. They had a half bag of tortilla chips in the pantry that she grabbed and threw in along with everything else to the beach bag. Perfect finger foods they could munch on while they sat on the beach.

  Vannah still wasn’t sure what to make of Byron’s “associate” remark in his check-in text. It could’ve been a harmless teasing comment. But she was back to wondering if the text before the call with the invitation had all been calculated. Was it his low-key forewarning for her not to start expecting too much?

  According to what Vannah was still telling Xochitl it’s all she wanted. Though her ongoing quivering insides and unabashed pounding heart, every time she remembered those kisses were telling a whole other story already. Vannah made a few subtle comments reminding Xochitl how she wasn’t looking to get into anything serious with anyone. Mostly she was desperate to prepare her overly excited heart for the worst—that Byron had taken her statements to heart, and it was the only reason why he kissed and asked to see her again. While he’d been eyeing her for weeks and was obviously attracted to her, it wasn’t until her full disclosure about not being into the relationship thing and only had friends that he decided to make a move. That said a lot. Vannah wasn’t about to ruin any chance of fun with the hottest man who’d ever kissed her.

  The more she thought about it, the more it made perfect sense. Why he hadn’t bothered to approach her before Friday night, when she’d approached him. Clearly, he’d already pegged her as young and naïve, this being her first time away from mommy and daddy, after all. He probably thought trying anything with her before Friday night would be more trouble than it was worth. A man like Byron was in no way looking for a clingy little college freshman who might get her heart broken. But hooking up with a young girl who was all for a good time with no strings attached he was willing to do. Sticking to her plan of enjoying her college years, she’d made her decision. Especially after those kisses. She was going for it and there’d be no looking back. No regrets.

  Vannah laid it on a little thick when discussing it with Xochitl that evening. She was all for this even if it turned out to be just a meaningless fling. But she had a feeling Xochitl wasn’t buying that the idea of anything real happening between her and Byron didn’t excite the hell out of her. Still, her friend’s advice was, if the subject of relationships were to come up again to just stick with her first story.

  “Just be cool if it comes up again. You don’t have to be all bitchy about it like, no I am not looking for anything serious, so back off! You can just reiterate that you’re okay with just trying to focus on school in case you’re worried he might be thinking a few kisses has you all twisted already.”

  Vannah had scoffed at that last statement, though it was so awkwardly ingenuine, she’d caught her friend smirking. As bold and in-your-face as Xochitl had been during her forthright pep talk about how Vannah should handle Byron, she was quick to run to her room when the knock at the door came that evening.

  “I just can’t face him this soon, Vannah. I’m still so embarrassed.”

  With a nervous chuckle Vannah promised her roomie she’d check in the moment she got a chance. Inhaling deeply as she peeped through the peep hole in her front door, she wondered how in the world the man got bigger each time she saw him.

  “Hey,” she said smiling as she opened the door.

  Byron took her in with an equally broad smile. “Hey.” To her surprise he immediately reached for her hand and tugged her to him. “You look good.”

  In the next second, she was pressed against his big hard body and his lips were on hers. Just like it’d happened earlier that day, she fell into a heavenly trance as his mouth devoured hers for what felt like forever and yet it was over too soon. He leaned his forehead against hers, his big arm wrapped around her waist, as she felt him take in as deep a breath. “You ready?”

  “Yeah.” The breathless word was a near whisper as her eyes gravitated to his tongue licking his bottom lip.

  Inhaling deeply, Vannah’s eyes traveled slowly
upward until they met with his intense gaze. With her legs once again feeling like they might give out on her, she struggled to gather her wits. But she cleared her throat and managed to sound a little more in control. “Just let me grab my phone.”

  Having thought ahead, Vannah had moved the things she needed to her phone wallet so she wouldn’t have to lug a purse around the beach. She grabbed it with her free hand because Byron walked into her dorm with her, never once letting go of her other hand.

  “You alone tonight?” Byron glanced around her quiet dorm room.

  “Uh, yeah. For now,” she said fairly certain her still mortified roomie would not be poking her head out of her room while he was there. “Xochitl will be home later.”

  She left it at that, not wanting to elaborate further knowing full well how bad she was at keeping lies straight. It’s why she avoided lying at all costs but in this case it felt harmless.

  “I packed a few snacks to bring with us.”

  She grabbed the bag with the food, but he took it from her. “I got it.”

  They walked out hand in hand as Byron glanced around taking in the dorms. “These are really dorms? They’re bigger than any I’ve ever been in.”

  Pressing her lips together because she knew for a fact, he already had a certain impression of her. She had a feeling what he was thinking now as well. The truth. That the little princess was staying in the biggest dorms near the campus—on daddy’s dime.

  “Yeah, my parents are what you would say . . . a little on the overprotective side.”

  Before he could comment, she decided she’d just be honest. It’s not like just because her family was well off, she’d ever felt entitled. In fact, it was just the opposite. There’d been countless times over the years that she had to insist her parents didn’t overdo the fawning.