The Crown Jewels Boxed Set (A Crown Jewels Romantic Comedy Series)

by Melanie Summers

  The room goes dead silent, and I look up, suddenly realizing they’ve all heard what I’ve just said through the microphone that hangs at my mother’s side. I glance around and see the shocked looks on the faces of everyone here, including the Princess Dowager.

  But it’s my mum’s face that breaks my heart when I look back down at her. She has a phony smile plastered to her face even though I’ve hurt her feelings terribly. She just nods and says, “Let’s get you something to eat.”

  ****

  I stand in the ladies’ bathroom, unable to look at myself in the mirror as I unwind my toilet paper dress and remove my veil. If I could, I would hide in here until everyone goes home. But I know my time is limited before I need to make an appearance and try to salvage what’s left of the party. The door swings open, and Brooke Beddingfield walks in. Of course. She looks at me, her face pulling into a sympathetic smile as she comes to stand next to me in front of the counters.

  “I had the exact same idea. This toilet paper dress is getting rather warm.” She starts to remove hers, her fingers delicately pulling at the tissue without ripping any of it.

  “Yes.” I give her a weak smile and continue working, hoping she’ll finish quickly and just leave.

  “Tessa, I’ve been hoping to find a chance to speak with you alone. I’m sure you must despise me, what with that awful I Hate Tessa Twitter account and that stupid Brooke Is Better hashtag—which I promise you I had nothing to do with. I only just found out about it a few days ago and am completely appalled. It must’ve upset you very much when you found out about it.”

  I nod and then ball up my dress and toss it into the garbage. “It’s not ideal, I suppose, but I can’t really expect much better, can I?”

  “Yes, you most certainly can, Tessa,” she says, reaching out and touching my arm. “As someone who would very much like to be your friend, I intend to do whatever I can to find out who is behind it and put a stop to it.”

  I stare at her for a moment, trying to process what she’s saying and why exactly she’s saying it. She reminds me of O.J. vowing to look for the real killer. “That’s very kind of you, Brooke, but there’s no need. The best thing to do is ignore it until they get bored and move on to someone else.”

  “Arthur said you were smart. He wasn’t kidding. Well, even if we ignore those people, I’m going to help you find allies among the blue blood crowd. That is, if you’ll allow me.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “Because Arthur is my dear friend, and I hope that you and I can be friends, too.” She smiles kindly at me, and I almost find myself feeling comforted by her. “Besides, if he loves you, it means you must be an extraordinary woman.”

  I shake my head and look down at my feet, seeing some toilet paper stuck to my heel. “I haven’t exactly been extraordinary today. Well, extraordinarily rude to my poor mum.”

  Brooke tilts her head. “Oh, Tessa, who could blame you? You’re trying to present yourself as someone elegant, and your mum really didn’t do you any favours today. Anyone could see why you’d snap.”

  “Still, it’s no excuse,” I say, digging around in my purse for my lipstick so I don’t have to make eye contact with her in the mirror.

  “Don’t you worry about today. You’ll have many more opportunities to shine in front of this stuck-up crowd. Plus, you’ll have me in the background, selling them on you.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate it.” I toss my lipstick back into my purse without having applied it, then start for the door. “I should get back to my guests.”

  Tears prick my eyes as I walk the hallway back to the ballroom. I fan them away and breathe deeply, ordering myself to calm down. I can cry later.

  ****

  Everyone went home shortly after my meltdown, but not before a very quiet room of two hundred people listened to the soothing strumming of the harp whilst eating. The people at my table were especially silent, no one daring to look or talk to me, including Nikki, who sat next to my mum on the other side of the table. Every time I caught her eye, the look of disappointment on her face gutted me just a little bit more than the last time. I sat, picking at my food, my mind swirling as I relived the last twenty minutes of my life. I did my best not to notice all the guests slipping out without saying goodbye, and without me properly thanking them for coming. I knew I should get up and wish them off, but I simply could not bring myself to look any of them in the eye after how I had just acted. My mum got a ride home with Grace next door, who glared at me while she collected the unused prizes and put them in a big box.

  Now, on the ride to drop off Nikki, I stare out the window at the grey sky, wishing I could take back those few horrible moments in which I proved to be very much lacking in character to everyone in that room. Nikki sits in the front seat with Xavier, and I doubt it’s as much because she wants to sit with him as it is that she wants to be away from me. When we stop at her apartment, I get out of the car to say goodbye to her. “Well, thank you for coming.”

  “Sure.” She fiddles with the clasp on her purse for a moment then looks up at me. “I’m not really sure who you are right now, Tessa. But whoever this is, she’s not nice like my friend.”

  Tears fill my eyes, and I nod quickly. “I know. I don’t know what was wrong with me back there.”

  “I don’t mean just in the ballroom when you were swearing at your mum in front of hundreds of women. I mean lately, the past few months. You’re just…different. You don’t have time for the little people anymore. And if this is who you want to be, I guess I’ll just have to be ready to let you go and be her.”

  “Is this about my hair? Because I’ve already explained that. I really didn’t feel like I could say—”

  “It’s not about your hair. It’s about the fact that I never see you. It’s about the way you treated your mum, who was only trying to give you a proper, fun bridal shower. She just wanted to be a part of it all. And instead of embracing everything she was trying to do for you, you were cruel to her. The Tessa I love is never cruel, no matter what. I’m not sure I can be friends with this new you. “

  “Please, Nikki. Don’t say that. I know I was completely awful today. I’m under an unbelievable amount of stress right now, and I really need my best friend.”

  “Well, the people who love you need things too. This isn’t just about you. It’s about all of us losing our Tessa.”

  A cold blast of air hits, and I tighten my wool coat around me. “I can’t be the same old Tessa anymore. I need to be better than her in every way.”

  Nikki shakes her head. “Arthur fell in love with the old Tessa. And I have a feeling he’ll fall out of love with this new version once he gets to know her.”

  With that, Nikki opens the door to her building and walks inside, disappearing up the stairs. I stand on the sidewalk, wishing she was inviting me in right now to have a few glasses of wine so I could fill her in on every detail of my conversation with Brooke, then move on to a recap of the shower so we could laugh about some of the more snooty ladies at the party. But I was the snooty lady at the party today.

  And nobody’s laughing.

  ****

  Text from Finn: Heard about you blasting Mum today in front of a bunch of her idols. Wow, Tessa. Just wow.

  Text from Lars: So…you okay or do you need me to spring for some therapy and/or meds for you? Nina said you turned into a total Bridezilla. Super disappointing, Tess. You better get your shit together or you’ll end up alienating everyone who loves you. #MaybeBrookeisBetter

  Text from Hazel: There are photos of your bridal shower on Instagram. Would have been a real boost to the paper if they’d been on our Twitter feed instead. #disappointed

  Text from Bram: Thanks for letting Irene come to the shower today. She said you went psycho? WTF? You’re supposed to be the nice one in the family.

  TWELVE

  Socks Over Scepters

  Arthur

  Text from me to T
essa: How’s my best girl and why isn’t she in bed with me right now?

  Tessa: She’s not worthy of the title so she went home where she can’t do any more damage.

  Me: I heard the shower didn’t go exactly as planned. Come back so I can make you feel better.

  Tessa: Thank you, but I really need to be alone right now. I’ll call you tomorrow.

  Hmph. I look at Dexter. “That’ll never do, will it, Dex?”

  ****

  Twenty minutes later, I knock at the door to her parents’ house. Xavier is chatting away at my driver, Ben, through the open window of the limo, having hopped out of the Tesla and informed me that the ‘perimeter is secure’ the moment we arrived.

  I wait a bit, then knock again.

  When no one answers, I text Tessa.

  Mind letting me in? It’s chilly out here and I may or may not have gourmet hot chocolate for you.

  I stomp my feet, trying to keep them warm while I listen for the sound of her footsteps in the hall on the other side of the door. When she finally answers, she’s dressed in her Sponge Bob pajama bottoms and bunny slippers, reminding me of the first night she was at my house. “Hello, sexy. You’re looking adorable this evening.”

  “No, I’m not. I’m a total mess.” She shakes her head and dissolves into tears, turning and walking back into the house.

  I follow her, wishing I didn’t have a hot chocolate in each hand so I could pull her into my arms. Shutting the door with my foot, I toe off my shoes and follow her to the television room, where she’s clearly been on an Outlanders and celery binge. Celery? That’s an odd choice.

  She collapses onto the couch, pulling a big, fuzzy blanket onto her lap. “Don’t marry me. I’m a horrible, horrible person.”

  I set the drinks down on the coffee table and seat myself next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. Giving her a kiss on the forehead, I say, “No, you’re not. You’re the furthest thing from horrible. You just had a bad day is all. And given the circumstances, I think anyone would’ve cracked.”

  She lifts her head from off my shoulder and looks at me, her big green eyes filled with tears. “I was just awful. I humiliated myself and my mum when all she wanted to do was show everyone a good time.”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s my fault, too. I never should’ve arranged the stupid bridal shower in the first place. It was a terrible idea putting you in a room with all those nasty women.”

  Tessa nods and sniffles. “That’s true, actually. It was a terrible idea.”

  “I know. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I give her a little smile, hoping to cheer her up, but it doesn’t work. “Where’s your mum? I should really apologize to her.”

  “She left. Both my parents left while I was in the bath. They probably couldn’t stand to be in the same house as their hateful daughter.”

  I gently tilt her head so it’s resting on my shoulder, then rub her arm. “Don’t say that. I’m sure they just had plans they forgot to tell you about. Besides, I don’t think anyone can really blame you for losing it today, not with everything your mum was doing and saying about you.”

  “Even still, all I did today was prove that I have no class at all.”

  “That’s ridiculous. So, you had a few sharp words for your mother. For God’s sake, she had you dressed in something used to wipe your arse and was giving out gift cards for donuts.”

  “Oh, God, the Princess Dowager must be so disappointed with how I conducted myself.”

  “I doubt it. I’m sure she understood. She knows what kind of pressure you’re under.”

  Tessa lifts her head off my shoulder. “What did she tell you?”

  “Nothing. I haven’t spoken to her this afternoon.”

  “Then who…” She tilts her head, a sudden look of understanding crossing her face.

  I’m about to be in a lot of trouble, aren’t I? “Brooke called me as soon as the shower ended.”

  Letting out a big puff of air, Tessa looks up at the ceiling, blinking quickly, clearly trying to stop herself from crying again. “Why would she do that?”

  “Because we’re friends. And just so you know, she would very much like to be your friend as well. In fact, when she phoned to tell me what happened, she told me to rush to your side with some hot chocolate and comfort.”

  “So, this was all her idea?”

  “Yes, which should prove that she cares about your well-being.”

  “She and I are not friends, Arthur, no matter what she wants you to think.”

  “If you just give her a chance, I think you’ll find she can be a very loyal ally to you. She may even be able to help you navigate this new life, since Arabella doesn’t seem willing.”

  Tessa stares at me for a moment, and I know she’s got something on the tip of her tongue that she’s not sure she wants to say. “Arthur, be careful with Brooke. She has less-than-innocent motives when it comes to you.”

  “No, she doesn’t. She has a boyfriend. An accountant from London. It sounds like things are quite serious between them.” Okay, so I may have stretched the truth on that one just a wee bit, but it really will do no one any good if Tessa feels threatened by Brooke, especially when I have absolutely no interest in the good doctor in the first place.

  “I think I need to be alone right now,” Tessa says, rubbing her eyebrow in the way she does when she’s really angry.

  “I know you had a pisser of a day, but is it really a reason to ruin what is the rarest of occasions—us having an evening free together?”

  Sighing, Tessa says, “I’m trying really hard not to start an argument right now, Arthur, but honestly, I’m at my wits’ end, and your unflinching trust in Brooke isn’t helping matters.”

  “Whatever Brooke’s motives may be, I’m glad she called me so I could be here for you in spite of your disappearing act.”

  “Well, of course she would call you.” Tessa stands and crosses the room, presumably to get away from me. “Today was a victory for her. She got to prove how much better she is than me. She even beat me at being a stupid toilet paper bride. She won the donut card, Arthur.”

  Women are a wee bit complicated, no? “I’ll take you for donuts right now if that’s what you want.”

  “It’s not about the donuts!” she barks

  “There’s no need to raise your voice at me. I came over to help, but if you’re not interested in feeling better, I’ll leave so you can get back to sulking for the evening.” I stand and stare at her for a long moment, waiting for her to stop me. She just stares at me until it’s clear that she has no intention of changing her mind.

  I give her little nod. “Goodnight, then.” I stride to the door, then turn and call back to her, “Oh, and I’ve been overfeeding Chester, so he’s almost out of food.”

  I walk out the front door and jog down the steps. Xavier, who is still standing on the sidewalk yakking at Ben, apparently impervious to the cold, stops talking when he sees me and his face falls. This is one of those moments in which I have to admit it truly sucks to be surrounded by staff twenty-four hours a day. He hurries to open the back door, but I beat him to it. I’m just about to climb in when Tessa’s voice stops me.

  “Arthur. I’m sorry. Can you just come back inside so we can talk?”

  I turn and stare at her a moment, and the look on her face starts to dissolve my pride.

  “Please?” she asks.

  I nod and shut the door to the car, then follow her into the house. As soon as the door closes, she looks up at me, tears filling her eyes as it all come spilling out. “I’m fucking everything up, just like I knew I would. Everyone is mad at me, Nikki can barely stand to look at me, I’ve driven my parents away with my nastiness, your sister absolutely hates my guts. And you should have seen the look on Grace next door’s face. Even Cousin Rose scoffed at me when she was leaving today. And I’m so fucking hungry, I can hardly stand it. I haven’t eaten
a proper meal in weeks, and to be completely honest, I basically hate everyone who’s eating anything other than vegetables. And no matter how much I starve myself, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be spectacular in the way the entire kingdom needs me to be when I walk down the aisle.”

  “What in the fuck are you talking about? Why are you starving yourself?”

  “Because if I’m not an absolute stunner, the entire fabric of our society is going to fall apart and relationships everywhere will break down and the birthrate of Avonia will be reduced to nothing.”

  “Who in the hell told you that?”

  “Baz.” She sniffs. “And he’s not wrong because, if I’m anything short of perfection, I’ll never win over the people and they’ll forever believe that I’m the biggest mistake you’ve ever made.”

  My blood fills with rage. “Baz! He’s a tiny little dickhead with a Napoleon complex. Don’t listen to a word he says. Let him sort out the catering for us and mail out the invitations, and let’s be done with him.”

  Tessa shakes her head. “But what if he’s right?”

  “He’s not. There’s no ‘what if’ about it, so just forget him.” Inside, I’m seething with a desire to find and kill Baz, but if I’m honest, I’m also a teeny bit pissed at Tessa for believing this shit. It takes every ounce of patience to manage my reaction. “You listen to me. Who are you marrying on May seventh?”

  “You.”

  “That’s right. Me. Not Baz or anyone else in the country. And I, for one, love you exactly the way you are. You’re perfect.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “To me, you are. Do you know what will happen to these gorgeous breasts of yours if you lose weight?”

  “They’ll shrink a little.” She shrugs.

  “Or even a lot possibly. Do you know how rare perfect tits are?”

  She rolls her eyes in lieu of an answer.