Unfinished Melody
Page 11
“I’m sure you’ll be back here many times over if my son has a place in your future.” Admiral Bergstrom answered. “And please, call us Cecily and Eli. The uniform tends to make people think I’m rigid and austere. These two can tell you I’m far from boring.”
Even before the drinks were ordered, I felt completely comfortable with Noah’s parents.
“Marni.” Cecily attracted my attention. “Did Noah tell you that his father and I honeymooned in Rome?”
“No. He didn’t.” I glanced at Noah’s profile. “Was that your first time here? So many years later, is it still as magical?”
“It was both our first time in Italy and it was glorious then as it is now, right, Eli?”
“Anywhere with you is glorious, Cece.”
This was total conjecture on my part, but I could swear the Admiral and his ex were still in love with one another. The look in both their eyes suggested a deep fondness that went beyond just sharing a son. They shared a past that they appeared not to have let go.
Noah caught on to my confusion. “I’ll explain later,” he whispered, and then said aloud, “Mom and Carson landed in Paris yesterday for business. While Carson is attending meetings, Mom decided to visit her only son.”
“OK.”
“Dad, Mr. Big-shot Admiral will be in Marseille on some top secret government mission, but also flew into Rome to see his only son.”
“In truth, Eli and I flew to Rome hoping to make acquaintance with the girl who’s forcing some culture into our math-and-science only son. Carson, Eli and I were all shocked when Noah asked to study here for a semester. Even before he confessed, we knew there was a girl involved.”
“You chose well, Son. Marni looks very much like your mother when she was twenty-one.”
Cecily and I immediately stared at one another. I supposed we had the same color hair, very white skin with dotted freckles, and were the same height. However, the similarities stopped right there. “Oh, I don’t think I’m anywhere as beautiful as Mrs. Hanover. I’m as plain Jane as they come.”
“You are not, Marni Montgomery. I think you’re beautiful!” Noah declared.
With my cheeks flushed from embarrassment, I changed the subject and asked Cecily to tell us about their honeymoon in Rome.
Cecily had no problem filling the rest of lunch with her bliss. She was engaging and full of enthusiasm. Eli inserted his anecdotal tales whenever his ex decided to take a bite of her pasta.
“That was a lot of fun, Noah. Your parents are wonderful. They remind me of my mom.”
“Will you ever introduce me to your mom?”
Was I going to introduce this man to my mother?—a caring man who was holding my hand while asking me this question? An insecure man who laid his feelings out for me to embrace or kick to the curb? An unconditional man who swapped gelato cones with a disgruntled me? I’d be stupid not to introduce him to my mother.
“I’d love for you to meet Mom.”
Chapter 7 Noah (Present)
Unconditionally ~Katy Perry
“It’s always so much easier to move at this time of day.” I spoke to a contemplative Marni.
“Uh huh,” was the extent of her answer.
Marni and I were well on our way up to Los Angeles to meet my mom and Carson. “Traffic is so much better mid-day. I hate driving up to LA during rush hour. I’m glad Mom called when she did. An hour later and we would have wound up in a standstill for at least three hours.”
Marni didn’t join in much of the small talk. Instead, she asked, “What are your mom and Carson doing in LA?”
“They have some charity gala to attend. I’m sure Carson also has business out here as well. We can ask when we see them.”
“What have you told them about us?”
“The truth. You know I tell my parents everything.”
Marni sighed. “How’s your dad?”
“Upset with the both of us. He thought we might be married soon. I told you he’s holding a job for me in Italy. All you have to do is say yes and we could be off. This job will take me through different naval ports in Europe. Dad would like for us to join him out there.”
The sigh increased in volume. “You know I can’t leave Ali.”
“You can’t marry me, either?” My irritated tone didn’t help the mounting tension in the car. Marni put her face in her hands and stared at her lap. “I love you, Marni. I’d do just about anything for you.”
“I know.” Her voice was a whisper.
“Is marriage even a possibility for us? Me betraying you, you choosing to have Ali, your sister’s death, your current living arrangement with Ben—does this mean we are over?”
“I’ve let go of the past, Noah. Please don’t berate yourself and please don’t make it appear as if that’s what’s separating us.”
“All right. How about if I offer to move to Los Angeles? We’ll marry, move near Ben, and you can continue being Ali’s caretaker but come home to me. Is that enough of a sacrifice for you?” I laid all my cards on the table for my girlfriend. It was up to her to declare both of us winners.
“What about your father and Europe? I know you’ve been stuck in San Diego without a naval promotion because of me. It’d be a waste of your ten years with the Navy to be in LA. There’s nothing for you to do there.”
“I’ll get a new job. It can’t be that hard to find something.”
“I don’t want you to be upset with me for holding you back the rest of your life.”
“Dammit, Marni!” I was pissed with her indecision. “If you don’t love me anymore, if you don’t want to be with me anymore, then say it. Don’t skirt around the issue. I’ve given you everything of me. I’m willing to do everything for you. All you have to do is take it with a simple ‘thank you,’ or tell me to get lost. Why the hell can’t you give me some peace?”
Marni stared out the window and said nothing except, “Why don’t you drop me off at Ben and Ali’s? I don’t want your parents to see us like this.”
I was damn sick and tired of Marni’s attitude. I gave her every last thing I had to offer. If I wasn’t good enough, then she could live alone with her piss-poor indecision.
Without an argument, I did as was asked. Before she left, she said, “I’m sorry, Noah. I can’t walk away from Ali, and I can’t let you walk away from your naval career. I love you but my situation is poisoning both of us. Why don’t we stop hurting one another and end our relationship?”
I felt rage after hearing what she’d just uttered. I was so damn angry I left without a reply.
The noble act was rich. “I can’t let you walk away from your naval career.” I screeched the car to a halt and slammed my hands on the steering wheel.
Marni Montgomery and I were done.
Chapter 8 Ben (Present)
Memory Lane ~Tim McGraw
“Are you having a good time?” Jackie adored her “granddaughter.”
Jackie and Ali were still going at it, playing with each other and loving every minute of it. It was a wonder how Jackie could adore my child more than the maternal grandparents. Since the day Ali was born, they didn’t take to their granddaughter as I expected. Seeing them with Melody all these years, I thought they were the doting type. Perhaps I was wrong.
After our heavy conversation earlier in the day, I decided to escape and visit a few colleagues at the local university. A completely different path from where I thought life would take me, I ended up in academia. When I was younger, I thought I’d be the next hot rock star. I sang at local coffee shops, and won a few contests with my heartfelt love songs and trusted guitar.
An epiphany happened when I was falling in love with a woman who would eventually be my wife, and feeling guilty over falling out of love with a woman who would eventually be my sister-in-law. I was only a mediocre singer, but as a songwriter, I could possibly make a pretty damn good living. This revelation changed the course of my singing/songwriting career—the former died while the latter flourished.
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After a string of hit songs, a local college approached me and asked if I’d be interested in teaching a class in music. Initially, I thought they were on drugs. Why would they approach a man who’d never even stepped foot in a college to teach a class? I wasn’t sure I knew how to write complete sentences anymore after writing so many fragmented lines for songs.
When I spoke with Melody, she was happy for me to have another creative outlet. It was my wife who encouraged me to share my passion with those struggling to make it in this industry. Writing music was a lonely endeavor. With my students, though, I was with like-minded people who shared my thoughts and struggles. Teaching twice a week turned out to be the best job a single dad could have asked for in life.
“Hello, Precious!” I greeted a smiling and very happy little girl. She jumped up and down from her baby seat. “Did you have fun with Grandma?”
“Nananana.” My baby girl sang.
“I think she’s calling me Nana. What do you think?”
“I think you’re right, Jackie. She so does love her Nana. I wonder how we’ll take her home tonight.”
“Since you mention going home, why don’t you and Ali spend the night? You can sleep in Marni’s room and Ali can sleep with me.”
“Where will your daughter sleep if I’m in her room?”
This was where Jackie suddenly got quiet.
“Nananana, Dadadada, Mamamama, Babababa,” my daughter sang away.
“Jackie?” I questioned, again.
“Noah called to say that his mom and stepdad are unexpectedly in town.”
“OK. What does that have to do with anything?”
“Well, they love Marni and wanted to see her.”
She was stalling. I had to push her along. “So where is Marni now and where will she be when bedtime rolls around?”
“They went to see his parents and will spend the night in LA.”
Shit. That bugged the hell out of me. “Is she getting back together with this guy?”
Jackie shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. Mar is undecided.”
I didn’t want to go back into the “what about us?” speech, so I let it go for now.
“Let me help you set the table.”
The three of us sat to a nice meal where conversation focused solely on Ali. Aside from pleasantries, we didn’t say much to one another. Ali, on the other hand, was nonstop chatter. She talked to everyone and everything around her. She helped alleviate the awkwardness.
When it was time to put Ali down for the night, Jackie took over my usual duties. I had no place in the nighttime ritual, again. Grandma did her own thing and my daughter didn’t refuse. In fact, she couldn’t get enough of her grandma who wasn’t even blood-related.
Having nowhere else to be, I putzed around in Marni’s childhood bedroom, browsing the internet, glancing at my phone, hoping for a phone call. It took me by surprise that Marni didn’t reach out to explain what was happening tonight. It took me by a greater surprise how much I missed Marni’s presence. The adjustment would be difficult if she decided to leave us for Noah—though she swore she was not ever leaving her niece.
With so little to do and so much time left before my bedtime, I sifted through Mar’s desk. Most drawers held very little interest for me until I discovered the small hidden drawer atop the middle drawer. I wasn’t trying to be particularly nosy, but that drawer popped open to my surprise.
Placed on top was an envelope addressed to me.
I left the envelope in its place for all of ten seconds before losing my battle to curiosity.
It did have my name on it.
I should be the one to read it—at least that’s what I rationalized.
I regretted having read the letter.
Dear Ben,
You and my sister are still on your yearlong honeymoon and I am here wondering where I go next. I feel so lost without you.
What am I to do when I can’t let go of the man who is now married to my sister?
How do I escape the pain of seeing the two of you happily married?
I feel like a terrible sister and friend. It’s been two years since we ended. I shouldn’t still have these feelings.
To you, I was a high school crush, but to me, you were my future.
I never told you how much I appreciated your friendship growing up. It wasn’t easy going through a divorce, knowing my dad preferred the other woman and her daughter. I always felt like a second-class citizen at home, but never with you.
You were my best friend, and my only friend for many of those months during the divorce. I know we were young, but I haven’t forgotten all those times you protected me from the ugliness. Taking me to your home and shielding me from the fights, it’s still fresh on my mind.
I loved you then and I love you still today. I miss not only our relationship as man and woman, but also as best friends. I don’t know how I’ll replace either.
I won’t ever get in the way of you and Melody, not that I believe I could. You make a beautiful couple.
I’m just hurting so much right now, Ben. I needed to talk to you and this was my only way of communicating with you.
Though it’s not possible now, I will do my best to be happy for you both.
I love you.
Shit. This letter ripped me apart. Being so damn happy with my new bride, I never thought twice about Marni. I took this letter with me and knocked on Jackie’s door. We needed to have a heart-to-heart about her daughter, whether or not she wanted this conversation.
“Can we talk?” I whispered when Jackie opened the door.
“Sure. Come in. We can go into my sitting room and leave the door ajar.”
Walking through the bedroom, I checked in on my angel. Leaning over the bed, I placed a light kiss on my little girl’s lips, more to comfort me than her.
“What’s up?” I gave Jackie Mar’s letter and it took her no time to read it. Jackie wasn’t too pleased with my nosiness.
“Tell me Mar wasn’t as bad as she sounds in this letter. Why didn’t she ever tell me?”
“What difference would it have made? You chose her sister over her. You dropped my daughter after all those years and chose the girl who was always everyone’s favorite.”
“Jackie. That’s not how it happened.”
“What do you think happened? Why don’t you tell me your version?”
“Mar left for college and we went our separate ways. That’s not uncommon for high school sweethearts. When she broke up with me, I was heartbroken, too.”
Jackie looked doubtful. I didn’t want to think too carefully about how I truly felt at that time.
“Ben, let’s not rehash the past. That letter was written a very long time ago. Mar was at a different place in her life than she is now. I hope you won’t embarrass her by showing this to her. I’m sure she doesn’t even know she kept a letter this old and outdated.”
“Is that why Mar moved to New York after we married? It wasn’t because of Noah? And speaking of Noah, wasn’t she with him at this time?”
“Mar and Noah had some difficulties early on in their relationship; he cheated on her. When my daughter moved to New York, she went for a job. She was determined to fix her broken self.”
“Shit.” My heart broke for Mar. All those years of marital bliss, all those years of non-communication, all those years I never reached out to my sister-in-law, haunted me. “Why didn’t she call us? We were her family.” I agonized over hurting Marni.
“Get some sleep, Ben. The Mar who wrote that letter is not the same Mar who’s helping you raise Alice.”
“OK,” I answered with reluctance. I’d try to go to bed with the knowledge that I hurt Marni. I’d try to forget that Marni loved me while I was married to her sister. I’d do my best not to wonder when this love eventually faded. I’d try my damnedest not to think about whom she loved tonight.
Most of all, I’d do my best not to think about which Mar I preferred—the woman who wrote that heartbr
oken letter all those years ago, or the woman who was physically with me but emotionally with another man.
I’d do my best to forget everything and go back to the simplicity of loving my daughter. She was the reason why I needed Mar. Mar wouldn’t abandon Ali for anybody.
Chapter 8 Marni (Past)
Memory Lane ~Tim McGraw
“Are you having a good time?” Noah linked our hands while asking this question.
“How can I not have a good time with you as my tour guide? Your parents were neat. I’m glad I met them.”
“I’m glad you met them, too. They both came all the way here just to see you.” I still couldn’t wrap my head around that fact. “I see you don’t believe me?”
“Sorry. I have a bit of a doubting-Thomas side to me.” Who would believe anyone would hold that much interest in meeting me? I had a hard enough time accepting that Noah liked me. “Tell me about your parents. Unless I’m totally off the mark, they’re still in love with one another. If so, why’d they separate, and what about Carson?”
“Mom and Dad married young when Dad was already a decorated Navy man. At first, Mom liked all the traveling and the prestige being Dad’s wife. After she had me, she wanted to settle down and find stability. Dad agreed with her and tried that life, but I guess he wasn’t the settling down type.”
“So they separated when you were young?”
“Kind of. They tried for a while to stay together. Dad would go away for months at a time and he’d come home in between assignments. As he became more decorated and started going on more covert operations, Mom couldn’t take the lack of communication. What started with days of no communication turned into weeks. Finally, Mom gave Dad an ultimatum.”
“I guess the lure of power and intrigue was too much to turn down for a young man?”
“How astute you are, Ms. Montgomery. You hit it on the nose.” Noah touched his forefinger to my nose with a grin. “The Bergstroms loved one another, but that love wasn’t enough.”