by Cee, DW
“So how did Carson happen?”
“You see how social Mom is?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, the two met through mutual friends when Carson was in DC on business. They hit it off, and married as soon as Dad would give Mom a divorce. All those years, they never legally separated.”
“How did your dad take the news?”
“He was in shock and denial. I think he’s still in shock and denial. He never remarried because he still loves his Cece.”
“Is that what he’s told you?”
Noah shook his head no. “You saw it too. You have to be blind not to see the love.”
“And your mom?”
“Elijah Bergstrom was her first love. I don’t think she’ll ever stop loving him, not that she’d ever step out on Carson. He’s doting and nurturing in a way Eli can’t be. He’s perfect for her.”
“When you say, ‘he’ which man are you referring to, Noah?”
“How very clever of you to catch on.” Noah motioned for me to get back on the scooter. “I have three more surprises for you, Ms. Montgomery and if we don’t hurry, we’re going to be late for the first one.”
The surprise turned out to be a very cool tour of the Colosseum. A guide showed us all levels of this magnificent amphitheater. We started from the underground level where we saw remnants of the manmade lake, the animal cages, and trapdoors. Then we walked up to the area where the fighters would wait for their opponents to pop up from the trap doors. We toured the seating areas, and found ourselves at the very top of the Colosseum. A stunning aerial view of the stadium and the Forum surrounded us.
“That was amazing, Noah. Thank you.” I’d never been so up close and personal to anything this monumental.
“Don’t thank me yet. I expect two more ‘WOWS!’ before this night is over.”
“How can it get better than seeing every inch of the Colosseum? You remember our first trip there?”
“Yeah, where it rained cats and dogs but you and Sylvia insisted we stay?”
I laughed. “It wasn’t that bad.”
“Hell yeah, it was. I think the rain soaked through our cheap ponchos. We could have visited again on a sunny day, but no! You ladies said it was a waste of money to buy tickets and not make use of them. It was damn cold that day, too.”
“I’ll admit only to you, that today’s tour was much better than the first one.”
Noah grunted out, “As if that was even in question. Let’s head over to surprise number two.”
We hopped back on the Vespa and headed to a restaurant atop a hotel, overlooking much of Rome. We sat out on the deck and the view was breathtaking.
This place was over-the-top nice and I was sure the price was just as outrageous.
“Don’t scowl,” Noah whispered. “How can anything about this place make you unhappy?”
“You know why, Noah. I can’t eat here unless you let me pay for our meal.”
“No way!”
“You’ve taken me around all day today and bought me a present in addition to our excursions. Your dad paid for lunch. What can I do?”
“Just enjoy yourself. This is our last night in Rome and our last day together for a while.”
“I guess it is…” I hadn’t thought of us being separated the rest of summer.
“I need to tell you something, Marni.”
“Sure.” My happiness odometer stopped running. Reality hit me that I was going home tomorrow to my mother and to my sister’s wedding.
“I’ve been told that I have a spot waiting for me in a graduate program at NYU starting this fall.”
I let out a huge internal sigh. “How can you do that without graduating?”
“There are only two classes between me and an undergraduate degree. I can take those classes over the summer and start my engineering degree immediately after. I also have a research job lined up for me.”
“That’s great.” I tried really hard to show my enthusiasm.
We only decided today to try for a relationship. As it was, we wouldn’t see each other all summer. How would we survive if we didn’t see one another at all? I wish I’d known about NYU earlier. I wouldn’t have agreed to a relationship knowing it had no chance of surviving. I wanted to be sad, angry, depressed, but I didn’t want to rain on Noah’s celebratory parade.
“I thought we would have another year together, but…” Noah apologized.
“This is a fabulous opportunity. You can’t turn it down.” I swallowed a gulp of water instead of sighing out loud. “Will you follow your father into the Navy? I’m sure you could get a job there as soon as you graduate.”
“That was the plan. I don’t know.” Noah spoke those last three words with doubt. “Can I ask where you and I stand? Your face went through various emotions before trying to convince me that you’re glad I’m leaving. Now I’m unsure I have a girlfriend, anymore.”
Girlfriend. There had been about a thousand days between me and that moniker. “Where do you want us to stand? Where can we possibly go with you and me if we don’t ever see each other?”
“If you’re willing, we could try for a long-distance relationship. That isn’t an unheard of concept.”
This felt like Ben and me all over again. “I like you, Noah, more than I’ve admitted.” He smiled at that confession. “I’m 0-1 where long-distance relationships are concerned.”
“It won’t be as bad as your pretty head is imagining. There are phones, computers, cars, planes—a plethora of ways to keep in touch.”
I was wary. “To be honest, I don’t know. You’ll be busy with school. I’ll be busy between school and work. It seems impossible to me.”
“Don’t look only at the negatives, Marni. We have long weekends and vacations to be together. You can come to me in New York, and I can come to you at school or in San Diego. It’s easier than you believe. Lots of people do it.”
“Can I think about it? Once our time here is done, you’ll be in France for a while and I’ll be in LA for my sister’s wedding. We will probably be busy for a few weeks. After that, we can talk or meet somewhere?”
Noah was unhappy. “If distance is what’s stopping you from exploring our relationship, I’ll stay in Colorado and do a graduate program there. NYU is not a must, but you are.”
“Oh my gosh. No, Noah. I can’t let you do that. I’ll do my best to keep in touch and we’ll work this relationship out somehow. Go to New York and take all that’s been offered to you.”
“Are you sure? I’d be just as happy to stay.” Noah Bergstrom was a good man.
“I know, but I wouldn’t be. Whatever opportunity presents itself, make the most of it. I will not be the one to hold you back.”
“If the dreary part of our night is done, can we go back to enjoying our dinner?”
“Yes, let’s.”
I tried hard to smile and revert to my carefree self while we sat through all the courses. Noah and I spoke of our parents and the similar childhood we had as children with divorced parents. I forced myself to smile while my chest felt pangs of pain. Time to time, I felt as if someone was rhythmically banging on my heart like a musician playing a gong. The pain struck often and it reverberated like an echo in a cave. The first shot of pain was loud and clear. Each strike hurt less, but it never completely went away. I stayed like this the rest of dinner.
Noah may have noticed, but didn’t mention anything until we arrived at my last surprise.
“I suppose I should be happy to see you sad, but I think I timed it all wrong.” Noah took the helmet off my head and helped me off the scooter. “This last activity is the granddaddy of them all, but you’re not going to enjoy it if you don’t let go of your worries.”
“OK,” I whispered and followed Noah into St. Peter’s Square.
“What do you think?” He had me survey my surroundings.
“I think it’s very empty and quiet. What’s here?”
Noah pointed to the small group waiting by one of
the side entrances. “They are waiting for us to join them in a one-hour closed door session in the Vatican Museum.”
“NO WAY!”
Noah’s grin only got wider as he led me directly into a very empty museum. “Michelangelo or Raphael?”
“I’m heading straight into the Sistine Chapel and working my way back.” I didn’t stop to listen to what Noah wanted.
I ran.
I stopped.
I stared in awe!
To an art history major, the Sistine Chapel was the Holy Grail. It was Cooperstown to a baseball player, The Old Course to a golfer, El Bulli to a foodie. I was in my own personal heaven.
“We only have an hour before they kick us out,” Noah whispered quickly before the Vatican staff shushed us.
I nodded in understanding.
There was no adequate way to describe our one hour in the Vatican Museum. I was awestruck the entire sixty minutes, dividing my time between the Sistine Chapel, the Map Room, and the Raphael Rooms.
“That was unreal!” I marveled one more time when we arrived back at our dorm.
“You liked?”
“Is that question even necessary?”
“These are my parting gifts to you, Marni. When you go back home, don’t let your sister’s wedding consume you. Think about our last day in Rome and how happy you were…with me.”
“You know me too well, Noah Bergstrom. I’ve kind of pushed thoughts of Ben and Melody’s wedding into a closet, locked the door, and thrown away the key. It’s not going to be easy watching their wedding with a smile.”
“You…still…love…him?” I didn’t like how difficult it was for Noah to ask that question. He shouldn’t even have to ask.
This answer was a difficult one for me—especially with Noah as the recipient. “I’ve loved Ben for most of my life. It started as a brotherly, friendly love that turned into more one day. I’m trying to find that knob to turn off the love. He’s marrying my sister for God’s sake. I have no choice but to shut it down completely and immediately.” It hurt like hell to explain my feelings. Since I found out during Christmas break that they were getting married, I’ve had no one but Sylvia to talk to the past six months. Though Sylvia had become my dearest friend, I didn’t want to sound like a lovesick woman scorned. I wished Mom were here.
“I leave early in the morning to pick up Mom and Dad from their hotel. My first stop is Paris where Mom, Carson, and I will spend a few days playing tourists. Then, I head to Marseille where I’ll be thinking of you while hanging out on the beach in the south of France, while you’re suffering through your sister’s wedding. After a month of lounging, school starts early August. I’ll live with Mom and Carson during that time.”
“All right. I guess we’ll keep in touch via email and phone calls.” Starting tomorrow, I had no idea when I’d see Noah again.
“You could come see me in Marseille and/or New York. Mom already invited you to Paris, but I know you can’t jeopardize missing the wedding of the century.”
I would’ve loved to visit Noah, but I had an internship in San Diego that could lead to a future job. My life wasn’t free enough to traipse through Europe. “We’ll figure something out.”
Noah had more to say.
I had answers I needed to give him.
Neither one of us said another word.
He kissed me good-bye and asked, “We’ll work toward building a future together?”
I nodded and waved good-bye.
Chapter 8 Noah (Past)
Memory Lane ~Tim McGraw
“Are you having a good time?” Dad was worried about me, as I hadn’t spoken to Marni since we left Rome.
“Yeah, Dad.” I couldn’t come up with a better answer.
“If you like, you can head to San Diego and go visit her. You don’t have to hang here with your old man while your head and heart are with a pretty redhead in California.”
“I’m fine, Dad. It’s been frustrating not to be able to get a hold of Marni.”
“Tell me a little more about her. She’s more reserved than your mother, but in many ways, she reminds me a lot of her.”
“Yeah? How so?”
“Well, physically, they look almost identical. It’s uncanny how much Marni resembles Cece. On the inside, Marni appeared to me as sensible, kind-hearted, loving, and generous. Those are all qualities I see in both women.”
“You’re absolutely right, Dad. She’s all those things you mentioned and more. She’s also fun, intelligent, and witty. We have a great time together.”
“Cece was stunning when I first met her. She’s no less beautiful now.”
“What happened, Dad? Why did you let her go if you were and still are so in love with her?”
Dad had no problems explaining his side of the story. “At first, I thought I was calling her bluff. There was no way in hell she’d take you and leave me.”
“But she did.”
“She did and I still didn’t get it.” Dad chastised himself. “She sold our home and went back to her parents’ in Florida initially. Honestly, I felt better knowing you two were with your grandparents. Your mother would be less lonely and there was a man in the house looking after you both.”
“You thought Grandpa could protect us?—cane and all?”
Dad laughed. “Call me old-fashioned. I just liked seeing a man in the house—any man.”
“If you loved Mom so deeply, how did you leave her for so long with each mission? Never mind that you had a son growing up without a ‘man in the house.’” I received a slap on the shoulder along with a chuckle for that one.
“It’s not something easily explained unless you’ve been a part of one of these operations. Adrenaline kicks in from start to finish and you become a different person. You forget about being ‘James’ and you become ‘Bond, James Bond.’”
I joined him in the chuckles. “Good one, Dad. Regardless of the amount of time you spent with me, I thought you were the Superman of fathers. I loved having you as my dad, especially when you’d come to school in your uniform. I became the big man on campus once they saw you in all your glory.”
“Thanks for not resenting me, Son. Your mother did a hell of a job with you. I’m damn proud of you.”
“So if you liked seeing us with my grandparents, why’d you convince Mom to move to D.C.?”
“That move was my downfall,” Dad lamented. “She and Carson eventually met, and I became history.”
“Except for the fact that she is here now with you and Carson has no idea how much you still love your Cece.”
“He knows. He had a talk with me some time ago about respecting their marriage.”
“Way to go, Carson. I didn’t think he had it in him.”
“That man is an absolute beast where your mother is concerned. He told me under no circumstances was I to meet Cece without his permission. Asshole.” Dad grinned without a hint of animosity. “As pissed as I get, I like that your mother is protected. She needs companionship and he’s always there for her. He’s attached to her umbilical cord.” The Admiral laughed a little harder. “I was shocked he allowed that trip to Rome while he was in Paris.”
“Without a doubt, I like him. I always have. I, too, will be forever grateful he takes such good care of your Cece,” I teased.
“He might have my Cece, but he doesn’t have what we have together—you. Of all the good I’ve done in my life, you’re my greatest good, Son.”
“Thanks, Dad. I love you, too.”
“So what has you in the dumps, aside from the fact that your girlfriend is thousands of miles away?”
“I’m wondering if I’ve made the right decision going to NYU, and being in Admiral di Rossi’s debt.”
“You’re not in Mateo’s debt. He did nothing I couldn’t do for you myself, had you asked. I’ve never wanted to push you into my life. You are bright enough to stand on your own two feet. If you ask for help, I’ll do everything in my power to give you your heart’s desire. Until then
, I’m happy to watch from the wings.”
I was wary of the craziness that would ensue shortly. Because I’d chosen to spend the summer with my father, the two classes needed for a diploma went unattended. NYU graciously offered to allow me to take those two classes in the fall, along with my graduate load and research. True to Marni’s worries, we wouldn’t see much of each other in the first semester. I predicted Christmas vacation to be our first meeting. “So you see where all this unhappiness stems from?” I explained to Dad.
“So go see her before school starts. Leave here sooner than planned, get yourself situated in New York, then go visit her at her mom’s until school starts. With your brilliance, it never occurred to you to fly six hours to San Diego?”
The heaviness in my heart and head finally lifted. “Now why the hell hadn’t I thought of all that? I kept thinking I wouldn’t see Marni until Christmas.”
“Son,” Dad encouraged. “I haven’t forgiven myself for losing your mother. Never did I think she’d fall for another man—that’s how pompous and stupid I was. Don’t let stupidity keep you and Marni apart.”
“Thanks, Dad! Though you and your Cece are no longer together, physically, I know in your hearts and minds, you haven’t forgotten one another. I hope you’ll eventually realize that your memories aren’t enough to keep you warm at night. Consider scaling back on work and meeting other women. I hate seeing you lonely.”
Dad snorted. “You work on getting yourself married first.”
“Yes, Sir, Admiral, Sir!”
Chapter 9 Ben (Present)
Dare You To Move ~Switchfoot
“You’re home,” I greeted Marni who jumped off the couch to hug my daughter.
“Of course, I’m home. Where else would I be?” Marni grabbed a very excited Ali. “I’ve missed you, Baby Girl!” She raised her high above her head. Ali squealed and drooled all over the hardwood floors. “Did you have a good time with Grandma Jackie?”