Unfinished Melody

by Cee, DW

  “Sorry about all that baby talk. I think today was the first time Dad ever held a baby.”

  “I love your parents. As much as I think Carson is wonderful, I can’t help thinking it’s a shame Cece and Eli aren’t married. Does Carson ever get jealous?”

  “Rarely. He knows Mom loves him. You’ll see the dramedy tonight when we have dinner. Shall I pick you up at seven?”

  “That should be fine.”

  “So, are we back to being a couple?” I had to ask one more time when we arrived at Marni’s hotel.

  She tiptoed and kissed my lips. “We are. See you at seven.”

  Not wanting a confrontation with Ben, I didn’t escort Marni and Ali up to their room.

  A huge part of me was relieved as hell that Marni fell into my plans without a complaint. As happy as I was about us, I couldn’t shake this feeling that Marni was hurting. After dinner, I hoped Marni would share her burdens with me. I wanted no secrets between us.

  Chapter 15 Ben (Present)

  I’ll Be There ~Jackson 5

  “When will you be back?”

  “I don’t know. Sometime later tonight. Don’t worry about me. I’ll make sure to take the keycard.”

  It wasn’t Marni I worried about. I worried about me, and how I would make things right again. Since the “Mama” incident, Marni’s attitude toward me did a complete about-face. Regret was written in bold all over my face, though Marni couldn’t read the writing. I had no idea how to bring back my friend and it scared the hell out of me. I didn’t want to lose her again.

  “Hey Mar? Could I talk to you for a few minutes?”

  Her body froze and she quickly said, “Sorry. Noah’s in the lobby waiting. I don’t want to be late meeting his parents.”

  “It won’t take but a minute.” The attempt to keep her here with me a few more minutes didn’t work.

  “Later. Bye.” She answered curtly and left.

  Damn! Damn! Damn! What was the best way to fix this?

  “Mom? Can you put me on speaker and get Dad to join the conversation?”

  “I’m here, Son. How can we help you?”

  I needed counseling—first from my parents, then from Jackie. “Do you think it was a mistake to ask Marni to help care for Ali?”

  “What?” Mom asked, befuddled.

  “Why would you ask that, Son? Marni’s been nothing but helpful.”

  “Not to mention, she’s rearranged her entire life for you and your daughter.” Mom sounded upset. “What’s happened? Just a few days ago, you were thanking God for her.”

  “Yesterday, Ali called her ‘Mama’ and I kind of lost it.”

  Mom was clucking her tongue, disapproving. “After all she’s done for you and Ali, why would you get upset about Ali’s response to Marni? First of all, her name sounds like Mama. Second of all, it’s only natural for Ali to think of her aunt as her mother.”

  “But she’s not her mother,” I interrupted.

  “Third of all,” Mom didn’t give a damn what I thought, “Marni loves your daughter like her own. She’s given up her relationship, her home in San Diego, just about everything that gave her stability, to care for your daughter. She’s asked for nothing in return. Why would any of this upset you?” Obviously, this conversation as a whole upset Shea Howard.

  “But Marni’s not Ali’s mother. Ali shouldn’t call her Mama.” I repeated myself just in case my parents didn’t hear me the first time.

  “Ben, Ali doesn’t have a mother. I don’t think Marni is trying to replace Melody, but what’s happening is natural. Babies gravitate toward any mother figure, especially when the actual mother is absent.” Dad was more diplomatic than Mom.

  She asked the hard questions. “What’s this really about, Ben? Is there another woman in your life? Are you and this woman serious? Are you upset that Ali will be too attached to Marni and your new wife will be unhappy about this situation?”

  “What?” I croaked. “Why would you ask those ridiculous questions? What would make you believe I had another woman in my life? Aside from Mar and my students, I haven’t conversed with one single woman since my wife died.”

  “Then what’s the issue? I don’t get it.” I could see my mother throwing her arms in the air in exasperation. “Your daughter is healthy, happy, and growing up well-adjusted. There are three meals plus snacks for our granddaughter on a daily basis. We hear her singing, attending fun classes, getting plenty of exercise at the park, and making friends. All of this is thanks to Marni. You basically have a wife and mother without any of the nagging. What man complains about this godsend?”

  “Marni is not my wife. She’s not Ali’s mother. I don’t want Marni to think she’s either. I don’t want Ali to think she’s her mother. I don’t want myself to think she’s my wife. Now do you understand?” I admitted way more than was necessary. By the silence on the other end, I had surprised all three of us—me especially. “If things don’t work out with Marni…if I ask Marni to leave…can you help with Ali for the time being…?”

  “Son.” Dad was solemn. “Your life didn’t end. You can’t believe you only get one try in your lifetime. No one is asking you to do penance because you’re living and Melody isn’t. It’s all right to fall in love again. In fact, it’s healthy to fall in love and to create a family with Ali and some lucky woman. Whether it be Marni or anyone else, you will marry again.”

  “It’s not Marni, Dad. It can’t be Marni.”

  “Melody would have wanted you to move on, Ben. You ask yourself if you’d want Melody to live alone the rest of her life if you had died. Would you want your daughter growing up without ever having a dad? Your father and I are not telling you that you have to marry now. Just be open to the idea of starting again, and be open to Marni. The way we look at it, there’s no better candidate than the one who already has your daughter’s approval.”

  “You’re both not listening to me.”

  “We heard all the spoken and unspoken words, Son. Treat Marni well and we’ll see you three for dinner when you come home.”

  That was the end of that. I got nowhere with my parents. Actually, they went everywhere while I ran around in circles. I called Jackie hoping for a better conversation.

  “Hello! How’s New York?”

  “Confusing, frustrating, annoying—which answer do you like best?”

  Jackie laughed as if she’d heard the funniest joke. “You’re confused because my daughter is out with her no-longer ex-boyfriend and that frustrates and annoys the hell out of you. Take your pick, which answer do you like best?”

  Jackie Montgomery always had a knack for saying the most correct words and sticking it to people. If she and my mother-in-law were left in a room together, Jackie would swallow her whole.

  “How do I pick the best answer when the choice is between ‘wrong’ and ‘wrong?’”

  “Ha! You’re full of shit, Ben Howard. Tell me why you’re calling.”

  I explained “Mamagate” and before she cursed me from here to LA, I apologized. “I know what I did was wrong. My parents were pissed, I was pissed with myself, and Mar is plenty pissed. She hasn’t said more than ten words to me since yesterday. What do I do?”

  “Apologize? Obviously, it’s bothering you if you’re calling all of Ali’s grandparents who matter.” Jackie cackled.

  “Low blow, Nana.”

  “When my granddaughter wakes up, have her Skype me. I want to hear her call me ‘Nana.’ It’s not the same when you say it.”

  “I would hope not.” I spoke with attitude that Jackie didn’t approve of—the clucking happened again. “What do I do, Jackie?”

  “What’s this really about, Ben?”

  “What the hell! Did my parents call you?”

  “Why would they call me? It’s not as if I was their in-law.” The sarcasm was heavy.

  “My parents asked me the same question. Mom thought I had a woman on the side.”

  Jackie did her cackling now. She was full of odd noises
tonight. “How can you have a woman when you can’t see beyond your guilt?”

  “What guilt?”

  “Not what, but which one.” Mar’s mom had the most ridiculous notions at times. “You feel guilty toward your late wife for enjoying life without her. You feel guilty toward my daughter for resenting her when you enjoy life with her. And, you feel guilty toward your daughter for not being able to give her a mother.”

  “Ugh!” I groaned. “What possessed me to call you? You’re worse than my mother.”

  “How do you feel about my daughter, Ben Howard?—the truth, please.”

  I sighed silently. I didn’t know if I knew what the truth was. “I’m grateful for all she’s done. Ali loves her. Noah Bergstrom bugs the hell out of me. I wish Marni would stay with us for…” Ever? Eternity? A long, long, long time? The answer was within reach but I didn’t want to find it. Instead, I continued to list all of my feelings. “I’m glad we’re close again. I love being Marni’s friend. I love Marni’s company.”

  “Do you love Marni?”

  “Dammit, Jackie! I’m a widower. My wife just passed away. All her clothes are still hanging in my closet, her makeup still lines my bathroom counter, her pictures decorate my house!” I answered angrily.

  “I already know you love Melody. That wasn’t my question.” There was laughter mixed with sarcasm in Jackie’s voice. “Sleep on it and let me know next time we talk.”

  “Not cool, Jackie. Not cool.”

  This time, she outright laughed. “If I were you, I wouldn’t wait up for Mar. She might not make it home tonight. Goodnight.”

  “What? Wait! Jackie!” The phone went dead even before I had a chance to breathe my next word. Damn, Jackie Montgomery! Between her probing question and provocative statement, sleep would elude me tonight.

  Chapter 15 Marni (Present)

  I’ll Be There ~Jackson 5

  “When will you be back?” Cece asked.

  “I don’t know, Cece. Noah and I’ll try and make some time in the spring to visit you and Carson.”

  “What about me?” The Admiral complained.

  “With all your secret missions, who knows when we’ll see you again.” Marni teased. “It’s a miracle we landed in the same city on the same weekend.”

  “Give me some warning and I’ll be here. Will we hear some good news next time I see you?” The Admiral asked.

  I didn’t know what good news he was referring to until Noah answered, “Marni and I are happily back together. If that’s the good news you’re looking for, Dad.”

  “I suppose that will do for now.”

  Noah had picked me up from the hotel and we came straight to a fancy restaurant in the middle of the financial district. Noah’s parents were already seated with a cocktail in hand when we arrived. We only needed Carson to complete our party.

  “Sorry I’m late.” Carson greeted his wife, first, with a tender look and kiss, and then he introduced himself to me. “I can’t believe in all these years we’ve never met.”

  I stood up to hug him. “Hello! It’s an honor to meet you, finally. I feel as if we’re old friends.”

  “Me, too. My wife has had nothing but praise where you are concerned. We’re happy you and Noah are a couple again.”

  “So am I.”

  “Will there ever be a meeting where you are not shouting the American anthem with your outfit?” If there was humor in Carson’s statement, we had to search deep to find it. “I’d kill to see you in jeans and a wife beater one day.”

  The Admiral wasn’t one to back down on his own sense of “humor.” “This,” he pointed to his naval uniform, “is the man Cece fell in love with. It’s a reminder of what she’s missing.”

  “That,” Carson mimicked the gesturing of the outfit, “is the same man she fell out of love with and is not missing one bit.”

  “Boys!” Cece warned.

  Both men turned to the woman they loved and played nice immediately.

  “Where are we going?” I asked Noah when we went in the opposite direction of my hotel.

  “Do you have to head back tonight? Can you stay the night with me?”

  “At your mom’s?” I didn’t mean to sound horrified, but I did.

  Noah chuckled at me. “No. Not at Mom’s. I have a room booked for us if you’re willing and wanting.”

  “I’d like that, but I’d also like to get a small overnight bag. Can I stop by the hotel briefly?”

  Noah schooled his grim expression and turned the car immediately.

  I, in turn, reassured Noah that I’d be back quickly and didn’t give him the chance to accompany me upstairs.

  I would’ve been lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Being with Noah again after weeks of separation made my insides rattle. Facing Ben in the morning made my whole body shake with fear. There were no reasons to be fretful, but I knew I had a fight coming on.

  What I didn’t understand was that this fight would begin now.

  “Hey. You’re early.” The TV was blaring in the dark with Ben sitting on the couch reading from his iPad.

  “Um, yeah.”

  “Did you have a good time? What brings Noah to New York?”

  “Yes. It was a fun dinner. Noah’s here to visit his parents and to see me, I suppose. Everything all right with Ali?”

  He nodded yes and went back to his reader. I took that as being dismissed and I ran to my room to pack a few essentials. So that it wouldn’t look so obvious, I shoved my belongings into a large purse and walked out. If I were a lucky woman, Ben would have picked himself up and gone into his room. What on earth had possessed me to believe I might be lucky—ever?

  Ben was right where I found him, staring at me for an explanation.

  “What time is your meeting tomorrow?”

  Ben gave me a less than friendly glare. “Eight,” he answered, leaving many unspoken sentiments hanging.

  “Will you have enough time to get to your meeting if I arrive at seven?” I, too, spoke in a roundabout way.

  “Where will you be for the next eight hours?” The way those words were spoken was definitely not friendly. He was treating me as if I’d done something shameful.

  “With Noah. I’ll send you the hotel info when I get there. I’ll also have my cell phone with me, if you need me.”

  “I thought you two broke up.” The chill emanating from my “friend” was almost as bad as yesterday’s Sony Lab incident.

  Deciding I was done with his PMS, I answered, “Now we’re back together. See you tomorrow.”

  “I’ll need to get ready earlier than seven.”

  “Then I’ll be back by six. Is that enough time for you to primp?”

  Before I laughed out loud at Ben’s shocked visage, I left.

  As expected, Noah was pacing the hotel foyer. “You all right?” He raced over to me.

  “All is good. Let’s go.”

  When we arrived at the hotel, Noah nervously sat me down and told me he wanted to resolve a few matters. As much as I dreaded this part of reconciliation, it was unavoidable. I should have seen this coming.

  “First off, you told me all was fine with Ben, but I know something isn’t right. Do you want to talk about what’s happened?”

  “Nope. There’s not much to say. Let’s keep the conversation about us.” Maybe that was a small lie, but a justifiable one, I thought. No one needed to know about my age-old feelings for my ex. They would always be there regardless of time and circumstances, and those feelings didn’t hinder my relationship with Noah. I didn’t “love” Ben in any sexual way. He would always remain a part of my heart.

  “You’re sure you don’t need to talk about Ben?”

  “Positive.”

  “As you asked me earlier today, I want to ask you too. Do you love me?” There was much insecurity in his question.

  I wanted there to be no doubt. “I do. I have for a long time.”

  “Have you completely forgiven me for leaving you back in college?”


  Once again, I didn’t want any misgivings. “That was a long time ago, Noah. I think it’s you who needs to let those days go. We didn’t work out. You married Siena. That didn’t work out. You divorced Siena. Unless she’s the reason why we’re having this discussion, I’d like to keep her out of this conversation.”

  “All right. I believe you. I want to talk about our future.”

  Damn. He was making me nervous because he was so jittery. “Stop pacing and sit,” I ordered. Pulling him down on the couch, I leaned in for a kiss as soon as he sat. “We’ve been together a long time, Noah. Whatever it is you need to say, I’ll be fine.”

  “Well, I wanted to see if you were…” he stopped and scratched his head. “Before Ali was born, I asked if you’d…” he now rubbed his face in his hands. “How come you never answered my question?” After three partial questions, I was no closer to understanding this man.

  “OK.” I took a deep breath. “Let me try.” Shit, now I was tense. “You professed your love to me. I had two wonderful meals with your parents. But you’re bringing up Siena and the past again. Either you’re trying to explain how much you’ve missed me or you’re here to tell me ‘Everything just happened’ and this is a prelude to a breakup. Which is it?” Initially, this was said in humor, but I realized it wasn’t going to be funny if the latter was the case. What the hell? Were we breaking up after all we’d gone through?

  “Will you marry me?” The words tumbled out of Noah’s mouth.

  WHAT???

  Chapter 15 Noah (Present)

  I’ll Be There ~Jackson 5

  “When will you be back?”

  “When do you need me back, Son?”

  “I’m going to propose again tonight and I was hoping to celebrate with you, Mom and Carson. Can we all meet somewhere in a few weekends? When are you free?”

  “You’re that sure she’ll accept this time?”

  “Yes. I’m positive.”