"You're probably better off with Aspen," she scoffed, her head turning to the side as she refused to meet my gaze.
Hell no. Just when I had made up my mind and decided to go hundred percent for her, she was wavering? I wouldn't let her.
I grabbed her hands again, refusing to let her give into the doubt.
"Look at me."
Ashleigh pretended like she couldn't hear me, so I gently squeezed her hands. "Look at me," I asked again, my voice much softer.
Slowly, she turned her head, finally meeting my gaze. Her beautiful blues that were usually filled with sparks, were now brimming with sadness. Disappointment, regret, and guilt were all swirling around in them and just looking at her, made me ache for her.
Knowing I could be so affected by her emotions by just staring into her eyes, I knew I had chosen right.
Mate.
"I want you," I spoke, my voice surprisingly strong and unwavering. With Aspen deep inside the cave, things were all so much clearer. How had I been so confused before?
Ashleigh stared back at me, studying my expression, probably searching for any hesitation. When she couldn't find any, she asked in a small voice: "Why me?"
“You’re my mate," I said, quite surprised. Why not her?
"So is he," she argued, her face falling at the thought of me being with her brother.
"I don't want him."
"Then you’re the first," she bitterly spat out as her gaze fell back to the ground.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
She chuckled, but nothing about it sounded cheerful. "I was born thirteen minutes after my brother. Thirteen minutes was all it took for him to have a headstart on me for life."
I silently waited for her to elaborate, not wanting to ruin the moment.
"My family has had a one-child policy for as far back as we go. There have never been twins in any of our lines before. I wasn't wanted."
Ashleigh bit her lip as her eyes glazed over. "My parents loved me, of course, they did. They always tried to treat me the same way. And don't get me wrong, I love my brother. I love him to bits. He was always the one sticking up for me, trying to make me feel equal."
Another silence befell us. I patiently stared at her, knowing this wasn't the end of the story. But when she kept quiet, I tried to catch her gaze again.
"But?" I asked, gently encouraging her to keep going.
"But... Besides being the first-born, Aspen is an Alpha as well... As much as he loathes having that kind of power, he can't control it. Not well. Not always. And I can't blame him for it. He is first, he will always be first."
I frowned my brows as I hadn't realised how insecure Ashleigh felt about her relationship with her brother. Whenever they fought or bickered, it always seemed like she had the upper hand.
She snorted, briefly shaking her head. "I have worked my whole life to be better than him. Faster, smarter, stronger. When he is just Aspen, my brother, I am. But when it comes to Alpha Aspen, I will never measure up," she sadly said, like she had read my mind. "This is why he is so aloof and relaxed. He knows he doesn't have to try. Whereas me..."
“You’re you," I quipped in, taking a step closer to her. "And you’re the one I want."
"How can you be sure?"
I placed her hand on my chest, as I drew my wolf to the surface.
Mine. She growled possessively, immediately connecting to the black wolf inside Ashleigh. The dark-haired woman audibly swallowed, before meeting my gaze.
"Thank you," she softly murmured, the corner of her lip tugging up in what was her first real smile since we started our conversation.
"Anytime," I breathed, the world stopping as she pushed a stray lock of hair from my face.
"Do you know how beautiful you’re?" Ashleigh whispered, making my cheeks heat up. Only she would think so.
"Please, you’re the beautiful one here," I smiled back, loving how her eyes lit up. She chuckled briefly, shaking her head in amusement. And as she did, I was suddenly surrounded by the scent of wild strawberries. My favourite.
I bit my bottom lip, trying to contain the smile threatening to break out on my face.
"You really are something else," my dark-haired mate grinned, her thumb still caressing my cheek.
A shadow fell over my face. It took me a second to realise Ashleigh was the one casting it. She was bringing herself closer to me, her lips inching closer and closer.
Was this it? Was she going to kiss me?
I hastily wettened my lips, a nervous jolt jumping through my body. Would we be alone long enough for us to finally? How would it feel like? Was nobody going to interrupt us? No jealous Aspen, no nosey Danny?
Before any more thoughts could run wild through my head, Ashleigh's warm lips found mine.
I stopped. The world stopped.
My wolf exploded in happiness as she rampaged through my chest together with her mate, both howling as they ran after each other.
Ashleigh's soft lips moved against my own, warm, gentle, moist. She did taste like a combination of cherries and wild strawberries and I couldn't help but sigh against her.
How had I managed to go so long without kissing her?
As she nipped at my bottom lip, a shiver shot up my spine as I could feel myself slowly unravel. Perfectly unravel into her.
Of course, Ashleigh. How had I ever had any doubts about that?
Her thumb stroked my cheek once more, before she pulled away, leaving me hopelessly wanting more. She let her forehead rest against mine and for a moment, we just breathed. We breathed each other. And we stood still, in the midst of a silent world. Just her. Just me. Just us.
She was the first who broke the silence. "We should go inside," she murmured, her voice almost disappointed.
I nodded in agreement suddenly noticing how cold my limbs had grown. How long had we been standing here?
With a new-found certainty, we strutted inside the cave, my pinky brushing over the back of her hand. But with every step I took, with every step closer to Aspen, I could feel my resolve waver.
And I couldn't stop it. I wanted to stop it, but I couldn't. As I approached Aspen and was hit with the residue of his Alpha, my wolf grew more and more hesitant.
And I loathed it.
I didn't want to feel this way. I wanted Ashleigh. Only Ashleigh. But Aspen... He called out to me, to my wolf.
Why did I feel this way? Why couldn't I stop it? Did I want to stop it?
I threw a helpless look at Ashleigh, hoping she could help me but was just met with a saddened smile.
"It's okay. That is just how it is," she soberly shrugged, like she hadn't expected anything else.
I opened my mouth to protest, to tell her it wasn't like this, but she had already added herself back to rest who were all getting ready for bed. Like nothing had happened between us, she casually asked Regan how he was feeling, almost deliberately ignoring me.
So much for making my mate feel reassured...
I sat down on my furs and listened to the all too familiar whining from my wolf as she tried to decide between Aspen and Ashleigh. So much for our kiss. Stupid wolf.
I wanted Ashleigh. Why wouldn't my wolf listen to me? I groaned as I let myself fall down in my "bed". Couldn't this night just end? As soon as I hit my furs, I realised just how tired I was. Had all this really happened in one day?
A nightmare
Completely ready to escape all the turmoil, I happily closed my eyes, ready for sleep. I had almost forgotten about everything that had happened, until I was pulled out of my slumber by a whisper.
"Hey, pssst, Akira."
My eyes fluttered open as I stared at Cece. "What?"
"I’m bored, can we play?"
I shook my head. I was too tired to play. "It's time to sleep..."
"But I’m not tired," she pouted, her yellow eyes shimmering innocently. Of course, she wasn't tired, freaking cat.
"Try to sleep, we can play games tomorrow..."
"Shhhh,
we are all trying to sleep here!" Danny suddenly growled from her corner, her voice a tad lower than usual.
As if she couldn't even hear the redhead, Cece happily babbled on. "What do you guys do for fun?"
I groaned as I pressed my eyes shut. I was tired, it had been a long, stressful day. I couldn't believe how long of a day it actually had been. I just wanted to sleep. "Can we not talk tomorrow?"
"Yeah, be quiet," Darren chimed in and I seriously suspected he was looking for a rock to throw at the Puma.
"So, where are you going, Akira?" Cece inquired, totally ignoring all the glaring eyes prickling in her back. It was like she couldn't even feel them.
I groaned, deciding I didn't have the energy to keep debating with her. Answering her questions was probably easier. "East," I muttered vaguely, hoping it would shut her up.
"The East? You don't happen to be heading towards Coyote Country, are you?"
A collective groan was heard as if the whole group just knew what the next question was.
"I can guide you if you want. I know how to get there," Cece happily chirped in, as she twirled her long hairs around her fingers. She seemed totally oblivious to the angry snarls she was receiving from Darren and I wasn't sure if she was just pretending to piss him off even more.
"Of course you do, you traitor..." I heard Danny mutter under her breath, but loud enough that everyone could hear it. She tended to do that a lot, now that I thought about it.
"What? Coyotes like me," the Puma innocently smiled, looking far too happy with the bow she made from her own hair.
"Can we just stop the bickering and go to sleep? If not for me, then for Regan. He needs rest." I proposed, a heavy sigh escaping from my lips. I really wasn't in the mood for more fighting.
"Sure. But am sleeping with my knife under my pillow."
Darren's grumble was followed with a snort.
"You always sleep with your knife under your pillow. Am surprised Danny hasn't gotten jealous yet," Aspen mocked, earning him a growl.
“You’re the one that made the call to keep her alive. And now she is sleeping in our cave. Excuse me for being a little bit sceptical," he sarcastically called back, as he angrily threw a little rock against the wall.
"Watch your tone."
"You watch it."
"Guys!" Danny called out, knuckling Darren over his head. "This is not the time, nor the place."
I threw the redhead a grateful look and mouthed a quick thank you. She was right. The tension definitely was running high, even for this group.
With a grumble, Darren demonstratively placed the knife under his head, while Aspen let himself fall down next to me.
Somehow there was an unspoken agreement that we slept in two piles of people. Danny and her men and me with my... Twins... Yeah, go me. Hurray. Totally not awkward.
I briefly feared Ashleigh wouldn't join me tonight, not after how my wolf had turned on her. A sigh of relief escaped from my lips as she seemed to be done thinking and let herself fall down on my other side.
Danny kissed her three men good night and my wolf briefly wondered if I wouldn't be able to get a situation like that going. Maybe my wolf wouldn't mind after all... Maybe...
As I felt my eyes grow heavy and my mind fuzzy, I pondered it over one more time. Maybe...
Maybe one day...
Maybe...
One day...
Maybe...
I felt two soft hands glide over my thighs, gently, like they were almost afraid to touch me. They were followed by a breath that sent shivers down my spine and goosebumps to my skin. I felt the hot air travel up my legs and I sucked in my own in anticipation. I pressed my eyes shut, not daring to move one inch. Just a little bit more...
But right before the mouth reached my core, a second set of hands touched my legs.
What?
My eyes shot open as I bounced up.
"Why do you get to touch her first?" Aspen's voice reached my ears before I could make out the scenario in front of me.
The twins were both sitting on either side of me, each with one hand on my thighs.
"I’m her first mate, aren't I? I get first dibs," Ashleigh argued, as she slapped her brother's hand away.
"No fair, I got here first."
"Only because I let you."
"Please, you couldn't catch up with me even if I hopped on one leg."
"I could take you down with one hand behind my back."
"I could satisfy Akira with one hand behind my back."
Ashleigh snorted loudly as she pulled one of my legs towards her. "I doubt you could satisfy her, even if you had both your hands at your disposal."
Aspen tugged on my other leg. "I don't even need my hands to have her trembling underneath me."
Another snort left Ashleigh's lips. With another tug, she pulled her leg closer to her again. "Trembling in disgust, perhaps."
"Guys..." I tried to interject, but my words got lost in between their bickering.
I felt another tug. This time it was Aspen again. "No, trembling from all the pleasure."
"Guys?"
Ashleigh pulled again on my one leg, her usually beautiful smile turned into an angry snarl. "Get your hands off of her!"
"You first!" Aspen countered as he yanked my other leg towards him.
"Let go of her!" Ashleigh yelled, her nails digging deep into my skin as she grabbed hold of the leg on her side.
"Never!" Aspen growled back, his hands engulfing my thigh as he yanked just as hard.
Without any warning, the twins suddenly tore my legs open, my skin splitting as needles of pain jabbed deep into my body. "AAAAAH!"
With a loud gasp, I shot up from my bed. Well... My spot of ground. I felt beads of sweat dripping from my forehead as my heart was almost pounding out of my chest. I buried my fists deep into my sockets as I tried to rub the sleep out of them.
It was just a dream, Akira... Just a dream...
I looked at the two bodies curled up on either side of me and felt my heartbeat slow down as both the siblings were soundly asleep.
Just a dream... But that was a hard no to sharing...
"You okay?"
I turned my head towards the direction of the whisper. I gave my eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness as I tried to identify the voice. Danny or Cece?
"You were groaning loudly. Are you alright?"
Cece... Definitely Cece. Danny always slept like a rock. And I could hear the soft snoring that had become almost familiar and soothing.
"Yes... Just a nightmare..." I whispered back, as I let myself fall down on my furs. Just a dream...
"Want to catch some fresh air?" Cece softly proposed and from the muffled sounds, I could hear she was already getting up.
"Sure..." I muttered, pushing my furs away as I slid away from the cuddly twins. Getting out from their embrace was probably not a bad thing.
The air outside was cool and refreshing on my skin. The full moon gave the trees a long, dark shadow that would've scared me if I hadn't grown up at the border of a forest.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I turned around as Cece emerged from the cave, her long hairs shimmering in the moonlight. She was wearing a slightly skimpy dress that barely covered up her chest. Not that I noticed.
I shook my head, loving the cold wind grazing over my bare skin and blowing through my legs and arms. It almost washed away the memory of hard fingers and nails digging into them. Even though it has been a dream, I could swear I felt the marks they had left behind.
"Full moons are always bad news," Cece muttered from behind me, suddenly standing surprisingly close to me. Her one hand gently touched my hip, while the other snaked around my waist.
A little alarm bell should've gone off in the back of my head, but for some reason, the sound barely registered.
"Are you hurting?" the Puma whispered in my ear, her hand gliding from my stomach down to my thighs.
I knew I should've said no, but I could fe
el my head shake yes.
"Want me to make you feel all better?" Cece purred, her fingers pulling the fabric away as they grazed over my bare skin.
This time, the alarm was loud enough. I knew this was wrong. I needed to stop her. I didn't want this.
But even with that thought in my head, I barely managed to move my pinky. I was frozen. Frozen to the spot. All the while, Cece's fingertips gently ran over the soft skin of my inner thigh, her breath hot on my neck.
"Relax... This won't hurt... Much."
Stop.
"You might even enjoy this, Akira."
Ashleigh...
"Who knew you were so easy to manipulate?"
Aspen...
"Helping out strangers, tsk tsk tsk, not the smartest thing. Didn't your parents teach you better?"
Help.
She let out a hoarse, breathy chuckle that despite everything, sent a twinge down to my core. What was happening to me?
"Oh wait, silly me. Your parents didn't teach you anything. They didn't want you," Cece darkly grinned, her tongue toying with my earlobe.
I could feel her soft hand slip between my thighs. She was so close to touching my core. And I should be stopping her. But I didn't want to... It felt so nice... So soft. I wanted her to touch me. I wanted her to... Stop... I should stop her. But maybe just a little... No... I... Stop...
... Ash.
A loud howl echoed out of the cave and then suddenly everything happened in a flash. A whirlwind of black fur shot before my eyes as I felt my body snap out of the spell I had been under. A high-pitched scream filled the cold winter's night but was quickly drowned out by the loud growls and snarls from wolf attacking her.
Ashleigh.
She came. She came for me.
By the time I managed to turn my body and look at the fight happening in front of me, the Puma was clawing furiously at my mate, while the black wolf was angrily biting down on the girl. Both Cece and Ashleigh were covered in blood, but I couldn't tell whose it was. They were both so badly wounded, I wasn't sure if that could've happened in what I thought was only ten seconds. How long had I just been standing here? Why was my body so sluggish?
Come on, Akira. Move. Move!
I dug deep into myself, panic arising when I felt my empty chest. What was this? Where was my wolf? She was always here. She had been here for as long as I could remember. Where was she?
Shifters Gone Wild: A Shifter Romance Collection Page 44