Where was my wolf?
I felt around again, panic crashing over me like the waves of the untamed ocean. Why was my chest empty? Where was my wolf?
No, this couldn't be... This couldn't be right. This couldn't be true either. How could she be gone? Could Cece...?
Mate.
As if someone suddenly turned all the sound of the world back on, the real noises of Ashleigh's fight suddenly attacked my eardrums. An ice-cold howl froze the blood running through my veins as I saw the blood pouring out of her side.
Ashleigh.
The black wolf bared her teeth and as the moonlight reflected on her razor sharp canine teeth, suddenly everything moved in slow motion. I trailed Ashleigh's deranged look in her eyes and ended on Cece's bare neck. I suddenly felt myself move like I still wasn't in control of my body.
My arms snaked around the warm pelt of the wolf and with a strength that wasn't my own, I pulled Ashleigh off of Cece.
She snarled and howled as she knew well enough I had just ruined her kill. But I didn't care. As much as I was disgusted and shocked by Cece, I couldn't let my mate taint her soul by killing someone, even if it was to protect me. Especially not to protect me.
"Ash, please calm down!" I called out to the wolf thrashing in my arms, her blood hot as it splattered against my cold skin.
Right in front of our eyes, Cece jumped up on all fours as her eyes had turned into slits. She hissed loudly as she circled us, waiting for the perfect moment to attack the wounded wolf. The dress that barely covered anything up before the fight, was now torn to shreds. Blood was pouring out of a gash on her chest as it drew red lines on the forest floor.
The sound of multiple running footsteps found my ears and without even having to look, I knew the rest of the group had come to my aid.
They were here so suddenly, Cece didn't have time to flee. I didn't even have time to wonder who would reach me first, as the second wolf this evening flashed in front of my eyes.
Aspen.
A loud howl and a cry mixed in the night as more blood splattered over me. This time the blood was Chesca's. Aspen had torn out her throat without the slightest hint of hesitation.
As the coppery smell of her blood finally seemed to hit my nose, I felt my stomach churn as I stared at the lifeless body in front of me. His kill had been so swift and efficient, she wasn't even twitching anymore.
She was gone. Dead. Cece was dead. Aspen killed her.
This time, my stomach did more than churn as for the third time, bodily fluids splattered against my skin. Bile. My own bile.
Aspen killed Cece.
I tried to catch my breath, but that one thought kept running through my head. Even if it was to protect me, he had just killed someone.
I caught his dark eyes and as they bore deep into mine, I remembered seeing the same darkness the night before when he had attacked Chesca for the first time. And as that moment replayed in my mind, a thought crept up on me that I couldn't seem to shake.
What if it wasn't just to protect me...?
"She had it coming," Regan muttered, his words almost lost in the eery wind blowing through the group of people.
The blood still fresh on the cold ground, the smell of his kill wafting through the night. I felt goosebumps on every inch of my skin as I stared in front of me. The wolf had disappeared and a man was standing in his stead. A man I hardly recognised.
Aspen's hands were balled into hard fists, veins popping from his arms. His breathing hard and shallow, like he had just run a marathon. Sweat was dripping from his forehead to his cheeks, where it mixed with the splatters of blood. His hair was wild, his body tense, his eyes deranged.
This was not the man I knew.
I felt myself crawl back, mostly out of fear. Two soft arms wrapped themselves around my torso and a chin rested on my shoulder. A soothing voice murmured in my ear. "I'm here... Don't freak out."
Ashleigh.
She almost must've shifted back. I hadn't even heard it. Cece's last scream blocked it all out.
I stared appalled at the lifeless body in front of me, the last of her blood gushing out of her mangled throat. Another wave of nausea hit me as I saw her dead eyes glazed over and without meaning too, I puked again.
I had never seen a dead person like this.
No, that wasn't right. I had seen dead people before. At funerals, in suits and coffins. I had never seen a person killed before.
I stared back at Aspen. His teeth were grit and the hard lines on his face had completely wiped away his young and carefree look. He was every bit as terrifying as you'd expect an outraged Alpha to be.
Danny carefully broke the invisible circle we had all made and briefly touched his shoulder. Like she was zapped by electricity, she yanked her hand back and took a couple of steps back.
She turned towards all of us, a saddened look on her face as she gently shook her head.
I looked at the rest of the group, only now truly registering there were more people here than Cece, me and Aspen.
Danny's reaction was clear. Compassion. But I wasn't sure for whom. Regan's face was emotionless. I couldn't tell if he was disgusted, or appalled, or even happy or proud. Darren's face was equally as hard to read, but he couldn't hide what was in his eyes. They looked empty, but behind the glaze, I saw a shimmer. He was relieved. I turned to JP and was almost glad when I saw how shocked he was. At least one of them felt the same as I did.
Ashleigh's embrace had turned into a gentle caress, but as comforting as she felt, I didn't dare look back, afraid of what I would find in her eyes. I had already lost one twin tonight, I didn't want to lose another.
I looked back at the man standing in a pool of blood. He was almost frozen to the spot, blood trickling down his arms as it fell in drops from his fingers. The wind blowing through his hair was the only thing convincing me he hadn't turned to stone.
A voice caught my attention. Danny.
"Help him. Please."
She must've seen the confusion in my eyes as she nudged towards Aspen. "He'll lose himself. Please, help him."
"H..." My voice wasn't working. How do you talk?
I cleared my throat, drawing in a breath of cold air. "H-How?" I managed to stutter.
"Pull him out of his trance. You’re his mate, you should be able to do it."
"I..."
She impatiently cut me off. "There is no time to explain, please. The wolf will take him. You need to get up and snap him out of it."
Not caring what I would find in Ashleigh's eyes, I finally dared to turn around and meet her gaze. To my relief, her piercing blues were unchanged and with a reassuring nod, she gently helped me up.
"You can do it," she gloomily whispered in my ear, nudging me towards her brother.
I felt the whole group's eyes on me as an unknown kind of desperation hung in the air. What if I couldn't help Aspen?
What would happen to him?
On the road again
I felt everyone's eyes on me as an unknown kind of desperation hung in the air. My legs trembled as I stood up. I was shocked, utterly shocked. So shocked I didn't have any snarky comments left.
Did this really happen? Had he really killed Cece in front of my nose? Was this truly Aspen? Was this the reason why he kept his Alpha locked up?
I stretched out my hand, willing it not to shake as I grazed my fingers over his shoulder blade. He was hot. Sizzling hot.
"Aspen?" I tried, hoping my voice might pull him out of the trance. No reaction. I hesitantly glanced at Danny and Ashleigh, silently asking them what I should do.
They were both begging me with their eyes and while I wasn't exactly sure what Aspen needed saving from, somehow they both seemed to believe I was the only one who could do it.
Not wanting to disappoint them or able to watch Aspen suffer any longer, I circled his body, my fingers gently grazing over his skin. He was truly burning up like a fever had broken out and had taken a hold of him.
As I was st
anding in front of him, I tried looking into his eyes. That had worked before, maybe it would help this time.
The darkness I found in them left my mouth dry. It was as if all of their original colour had gone. There wasn't a speck of amber left and honestly, it scared me. Where did my Aspen go?
I carefully placed both palms of my hands on his biceps, hoping it would at least help his muscles relax. He was so tensed, he reminded me of a fully flexed bow on the verge of snapping. I didn't want him to snap. I didn't want him to break.
"Aspen... Can you hear me?"
No answer. Just darkness...
I closed my eyes, reached into my chest for the whimpering wolf and drew her to the surface. I hoped she would connect to Aspen's wolf, that somehow, she would manage to snap him out of this state.
Reluctantly, she left my chest and travelled to where Aspen's body connected with mine. I held my breath, scared of what she might find or what I might invite into myself. With a careful bark, she called out to his wolf and as she did, I felt something stir inside him.
I felt a smile break through on my face. It was working! Something inside him was reacting to my wolf. But my joy was quickly replaced by fear as a cold shiver ran down my spine.
There was something rising to the surface, but it was wild and untamed, something utterly dark and terrifying. The same thing that was keeping Aspen in his grip. And it wasn't his wolf. Panicked, I yanked my hands back from his body, only barely escaping the Alpha that had answered my wolf's call.
"I..." I stuttered as I threw a helpless look at the rest of the group. Only then, I realised I was out of breath, how I'd started to burn up. I felt desperation surge through my being; Aspen was too far gone. I couldn't help him. This was way beyond my expertise. I couldn't fight this Alpha, not on my own. I couldn't do anything.
More panic started to rise up from my stomach and tears threatened to spill from my eyes. Was I really this useless? Would we lose Aspen simply because I was a failure?
Had my family always been right? Was I nothing special, nothing more than just ordinary? Was I...
The scent of wild strawberries wrapped itself around me, slowly pushing all my fears and insecurities back down. A warm body pressed itself against my back, dark curls falling on my shoulder.
"I’m here with you," Ashleigh whispered in my ear as she let her hands glide from my shoulders to my hands. "I'll help you."
I could feel myself relax under her touch and without even having to ask, my wolf ran towards hers, seeking the same kind of protection and reassurance as I was.
"One more time?" she asked, embracing me with her whole body. A certain, new kind of safety flooded over me. I could do this. With her here, I could do this. I silently nodded, bringing my hands back to Aspen's body. Instead of reaching for his biceps, I pressed my palms against his chest.
His skin was even hotter than before and I was briefly worried they'd hurt my hands. But Ashleigh placed her own palms on top of my hands, cold like the water from a brook, immediately cooling me down. I wouldn't get burned. She wouldn't let it happen.
I closed my eyes and called for my wolf again. This time, I didn't need to dig deep. She was already there, running around at the surface, and came at my beckoning. But this time, she wasn't alone.
Ashleigh's black wolf ran through my chest as she ran by my wolf's side, accompanying her faithfully, like they had always belonged together.
With her support, I called out to Aspen once more, hoping I would be able to reach through his Alpha and find the wolf within.
Just like before, something raw and powerful surfaced that felt much more vile and menacing than before the whole ordeal with Cece. Like the kill had corrupted him somehow.
I flinched as I felt the power of the Alpha surge through my body and only now understood how the rest of the group must feel under his command. This Alpha wouldn't take no for an answer, wouldn't accept anything but submission. He wouldn't bow for anything or anyone.
But he had bent for me. For his mate, even if I was only his second. This Alpha wasn't my enemy.
With the strength and confidence that Ashleigh's wolf gave me, I reached out into Aspen. Ignoring the incredible pull I felt, I dug around inside him, calling out to his wolf. He had to be around here somewhere.
The Alpha hovered over me, his breath hot on my neck. He almost seemed unsure whether he should devour me or mate me. Using his confusion to my advantage, I travelled deeper into Aspen.
Where was he...?
There! In the darkest corner of his heart, I found a trembling heap of wolf curled up into a ball. Aspen.
I gently nudged the frightened animal, making him jump up in shock. Amber coloured eyes shot open and suddenly everything happened in a flash.
With a growl, Aspen's wolf shot into action. It howled loudly and as it did, I could feel the Alpha's grip slip. Before I knew it, I was thrown out of his chest and the man in front of me snapped back to life, his eyes amber-coloured once more.
He was back.
Instead of the Alpha's hot breath, I felt Ashleigh's sigh of relief tickle the sensitive skin on the back of my neck. The electricity and tension hanging in the air disappeared as Aspen relaxed.
"Em?" he whispered, sweat trickling down his face.
"No, it's me.... Akira?"
The haze in his eyes disappeared and as it did, Aspen finally returned to this world. He quickly wiped the beads of sweat and blood from his face, looked at them in utter confusion, until he saw the bloody remains of Chesca on the ground.
His jaw clenched and for a moment, it looked like he was going to speak. But as he ground his teeth down, he tore his eyes away from mine and turned on his heels. Without another word, he disappeared into the cave, leaving the rest of us standing around in the cold winter's night.
I let out the breath I hadn't realised I was holding and leaned back into Ashleigh, wordlessly asking for her support. She wrapped her bare arms around me and rested her chin on my shoulder.
"Thank you," she breathed in my ear as I could feel her heartbeat slowing down. It was only then, that I was reminded that her wolf was still roaming around in my chest. She must've seen everything I witnessed and felt everything I did.
I turned around in her embrace, her hands loosely resting on my hips. Gently, she pressed her forehead against mine. "Can you feel it?"
I nodded, my mouth dry. With Ashleigh so close to me, with our wolves running through our chests like they had never not known each other, everything else disappeared. It felt like they had suddenly been freed, as if with Ashleigh's wolf entering me, she had created whole new lands. I could almost picture my white wolf and her black one running side by side through a meadow. The fight, Chesca, the kill, Aspen, all the blood... She erased it with a single look. One glance and I was lost. Lost in her.
"Our wolves... They are meant to be," she whispered. "We are meant to be."
I happily sighed. She was right. This was it. She was it. If only I could find a way to stop my wolf feeling torn, I could have her forever.
Her hands were cold against my heated up cheeks. "There is so much I want to do with you... But..."
A desperate sigh escaped from my lips. "Timing..."
She nodded. "Timing... I need to go take care of my brother. He needs me. And he needs you."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I know..."
She tenderly grazed her fingertips over my cheek, let out a heavy sigh that tickled my lips, and somehow tore herself and her wolf away from me. My wolf whimpered in my chest, howling as she was once again, alone.
The forest suddenly felt a lot scarier now that I was standing in it on my own. Reluctantly, I dragged myself back to the cave and without another word, fell back on my bed.
I had almost forgotten it was still nighttime. So much had happened, it felt like an eternity had passed. I just wanted to sleep and leave everything about today behind. I had enough.
My mind was troubled, my body agitated, my sleep restle
ss. My dreams and fears intertwined as nightmare after nightmare crashed over me. Morning couldn't have come sooner but it brought an unpleasant surprise. I awoke in an empty cave.
For a moment, I panicked. For a split second, the thought they had all abandoned me flashed through my brain. I jumped out of my bedding and almost ran outside.
They wouldn't... Would they?
A wave of relief washed over me when I found the group lingering outside the cave. Everyone except Aspen turned to me and smiled.
"Morning, sleepyhead," Ashleigh yawned as she winked at me. None of them seemed to notice how freaked I was, so I let out a shaky breath and tried to regain my composure.
"Morning, everyone." I forced my voice to sound casual. "How come you’re all packed up?"
Regan looked up from his map. "Weather improved. We're moving."
"I want to get out of this cave," Danny grumbled, as she softly kicked a tree. "I hate the forest, I hate the snow, I hate winter."
"O-Only two m-more months until spring," JP comforted her with a kiss on her nape, making her melt into him.
A giant hand squeezed my insides, my stomach clenched. "What did you just say?"
The two looked at each other and then back at me. "I hate winter?" Danny slowly repeated herself, looking very confused at me.
"No, what about spring?"
"Only two more months until spring?"
"Oh no. Oh no, no, no..." I muttered, softly banging my fists against my temples. Could that be right? Only two months before spring arrived? Had I already lost a whole month?
How could that be? Did I really lose that much time fawning over Ashleigh? Oh gods, I was so screwed. Two months was nowhere enough to reach the East and get all the way back to my village. At the speed I was travelling, which had been exactly zero miles an hour for the past couple of days, I would be lucky to even reach Coyote Country before winter was over. Never mind the whole trip back.
"Akira? What's the problem?"
Five pairs of concerned eyes were all staring at me, the faces of my new friends painted with kindness. They cared. Genuinely cared. Would it be the worst thing in the world to tell them what I was trying to do? Maybe they could help? At this rate, I wouldn't succeed anyway, so what was the harm?
Shifters Gone Wild: A Shifter Romance Collection Page 45