Lost & Found: Contemporary Reverse Harem

by Serena Lindahl

  I shake my head. “He’s in jail.”

  “Good.”

  His jaw clenches, and he finally releases me enough that I can put an inch of space between us. That’s good because my breath is starting to come short. I like his nearness. “Why are you so mad all the time, Manny?”

  He stares down at me, untold secrets shifting behind his eyes. “Because you left,” he responds in an equally low voice. I tighten, thinking he’s blaming it on me, but he doesn’t let me go. “You left and I didn’t fight harder to stay with you or get you back.” Raw emotion leaks into his voice and tears shine in his eyes. I can no longer deny that they missed me as much as I missed them. Between the brothers’ tattoos and Aric’s acceptance, I feel like the wall between us has crumbled.

  He finally lets me go but grabs my hand. “No more running, little bug. We heal together.” He doesn’t give me time to respond or pull away as he drags me back into the room. Apollo and Orion are talking about something, but they stop when they see me step in. Orion throws his arms into the air.

  “We’ve made an executive decision. Fuck the project. We’re going to relax and watch a movie. I’ve already asked Mom to order a pizza, and she has cookies for afterward.”

  I glance at Manny. He’ll be the one to object because of his need to do so well in school, but he squeezes my hand and smiles. “That’s a good idea.”

  As Manny helps Aric and Orion rearrange chairs, Apollo comes up behind me. His strong arms wrapped around me as he tugs me back against his chest. He doesn’t speak, but his comforting hug says more than his words ever could.

  Orion approaches and tucks a strand of unruly hair behind my ear. His fingers caressing my cheek make my body tingle with awareness, made worse by how close he and his brother stand. Neither of them seems to mind the other one, but I feel small between them. He leans over, and his lips trail across my ear. “You’re one badass chick,” he whispers.

  I shiver with the desire their nearness invokes, and Apollo shifts behind me, moving his hips away from my butt as he clears his throat. I have the perverse urge to thrust my ass backward to see if he moved for the reason I think he did, but I’m not ready to know that answer yet. All of them have me tied up in knots.

  The beanbags and cushions are piled strangely. Orion steps away to fiddle with the entertainment system, and I look at the mess with a raised eye. “Where do I sit?”

  “Right here.” Apollo pulls me down next to him. He sits like Aric was before, with half his chest behind my back. I shift to rest more fully on him, but Orion shakes his head. He sits shoulder to shoulder with his brother so that they’re both supporting me. Their legs are off to the side, and Aric lies down with his body half off the cushions. His long hair brushes my thigh.

  Manny considers the arrangement a second before he sits cross-legged at my feet. His body is stiff; he’s wondering if I’ll welcome his touch. Selfishly wanting contact with all of them, I move my foot over and nudge his hip. He gives me a small smile and his body visibly relaxes as he curls his hand around my lower leg. His thumb lightly strokes my ankle. Although it’s an innocent touch, it adds to the heat radiating off the brothers. I feel warm, safe, and accepted. I haven’t felt this way since we were last together – before Dad died.

  The movie is a ridiculous superhero movie that we all laugh about. We pause for pizza, and I ask Aric something I’ve been wondering about. “So, Manny was away and the brothers were at football camp after the funeral. What happened to you?”

  I don’t mean to be accusatory, but Aric still flushes with embarrassment. I wrap my arm around him. A day ago, physical touch was difficult for me, but it comes easily with the four of them. It’s definitely not the same as we were kids, but it doesn’t feel unsafe for me. The comfort is all I need to practically beg for the physical attention I’ve been missing.

  “It’s okay,” I say quickly. “I’m just wondering what happened.” The movie is paused, frozen on an image of an explosion. The pizza covers the little table we brought back into the center of the room. Mrs. Tucker brought up soda, water, and cookies. She seemed so happy to see us all together again. I could have sworn I saw tears in her eyes as she turned away. Mr. Tucker is home now, and we can hear the TV downstairs. He always gave us our space.

  “Well, y’all know my mom left at the end of sixth grade, right before the accident. What you probably don’t know is that she didn’t give a shit about us for like two years. She didn’t ask for custody, didn’t call, didn’t stop by, or anything else. She basically disappeared. Dad lost his job right around the time of the accident and started drinking more heavily. He wasn’t an abusive drunk, but he got mad easily and totally let the house go. I was the sole caretaker for Daisy for a long time – about a year before he got his shit together and realized what he was doing. We had to move out of our house here and over closer to where you live right before I switched middle schools. Then, when I was almost sixteen and Mom could justify only asking for Daisy instead of both of us, she fought to get Daisy. She got lucky with custody. Dad got one DUI while he was drinking, and that was enough to deny him any custody but weekends and summers.”

  I squeeze his waist. I can’t imagine a thirteen year old having to take care of his eight year old sister. “I’m sorry,” I murmur.

  He smiles down at me, his pale blue eyes soft. “It’s okay. I just hope this custody thing works out. Dad’s been better since he got sober, and it’s better than when Mom was home because she was such a bitch to him.”

  We talk for the rest of the meal, the three others wondering how DeWitt middle was, where I worked, and how long I’ve worked there. They’re just trivial things, but it feels good to understand the little details of each other’s lives again.

  When we’re ready to restart the movie, they rearrange the cushions again. I just watch them, laughing at their maneuvering. Finally, they set it up so that Orion and Apollo lean back against the table and I sit between them. Aric and Manny sit together on the floor in front of me. By the time the movie is almost over, I’m lying down with my head on Orion’s thigh and my feet in Apollo’s lap. My hands sift through the thick, dark curls on Manny’s head and Aric’s cornsilk locks. They both have really nice hair, softer than my frizzy curls. Orion’s hand strokes up and down my back and Apollo’s foot massage makes me moan in pleasure. Thankfully, the movie covers my embarrassing noises.

  The end of the movie catches me just as I’m starting to doze off. I’d been a deep sleeper as a kid, but that stopped when I started living with Mom. Now, I wake up at the slightest disturbance. I rise sleepily, stretching the stiffness out of my muscles. “I need to go home,” I whine. I don’t want to.

  “I’ll take you.” Manny stands up and pulls me up with him. His hand holds mine a little longer than necessary before he squeezes and releases me.

  It’s later than I thought, and both the brothers’ parents aren’t anywhere to be seen as we all crowd into the foyer. Aric gives me a long hug and tucks my hair behind my ear, his eyes intent on my face. When he swoops down, I think he’s going to give me a kiss on my cheek. But he plants one right on my lips – a quick but firm kiss that makes my lips tingle afterwards.

  “I’ll pick you up in the morning,” he tells me with a little smile and walks out the door. The growl of his bike sounds loud. The others don't even seem fazed that Aric just kissed me. What does that mean? I let Apollo kiss me the other night, but that had been for Chad’s benefit. A hug and some light touches and kisses on cheeks and foreheads are different than mouth kisses. Right? Or maybe I’m looking into it too much.

  Orion grabs me after I slip my boots on, clasping me to his firm chest. “You better not leave us again, pretty pixie,” he murmurs close to my ear. “Come visit me while I’m trapped in solitary confinement for the weekend.” His lips tilt in a smirk before he also kisses me on the mouth and passes me off to his brother with a sound that makes my stomach turn over – like it’s hard for him to let me go.

  �
��Thanks for tonight,” Apollo says as he hugs me, giving me no chance to recover from the second kiss. “Call us if you need us. Anytime.” He waits until I nod before he also kisses me. It’s shorter than the kiss last night, but seems more meaningful. His arms hold me to his warm body a moment longer before he releases me.

  Manny’s jaw is tight and I wonder what he’s thinking. Is he angry? Jealous? He doesn’t say anything as he catches my hand and pulls me into the chilly night. I shiver as I slip into his beautiful car, sliding on the leather seats. “What was all that about?” The words burst from my mouth while he starts the car and turns on the heater with the vents pointed at me.

  “What?” he asks innocently. “We miss you.” He speaks so simply, like it’s the perfect explanation to every question I have about kisses and touches and sweet words.

  I shrug, my cheeks burning. I won’t make a big deal out of it if they don't. But it’s not easy to forget.

  We drive in near silence to my apartment, but he turns toward me before I can open the door. “Are you sure you’re safe here, Sen?” His hand is tight around mine.

  “There was a creep here the other night, but he hasn’t come back. I’m good.”

  “I want you to text me when you get in. If there’s anyone here but your mom, you’re not staying.”

  “Manny, that’s not fair. This is my house and you can’t tell me what to do anymore.” My argument is half-hearted.

  He looks down at our clasped hands. “Are you still mad at me?”

  I shake my head. “No. I’m sorry I assumed the worst of you.”

  He shrugs. “You were going off what you knew. I should have gotten those letters. I’m going to confront my stepmom tomorrow night when Dad gets home. He knows she’s a bitch when it comes to me, but that was unacceptable.” His jaw ticks again, his teeth clenched tight.

  I can’t help it. I reach up and softly touch his jaw, trying to encourage the muscles to relax. His skin is slightly scratchy. I realize he must shave every day because I’ve never seen him with facial hair. It always surprises me when I realize how grown up we are now.

  “I have to tell you something, Sen.” His voice sounds choked, and it lacks his usual self-confidence.

  “Okay,” I reply shakily. I’m worried. Luck hasn’t been in my favor for the latter part of my short life.

  “When your dad and my mom died, I thought it was my fault.”

  My eyes widen in shock. “What? How can you think that?”

  He looks away from me, staring out into the darkness surrounding the apartment buildings. “The spring before it happened, I started to think of you as more than a sister. I didn’t want you to be my sister anymore. Then they died, and you weren’t.” He plows on, ignoring my sound of surprise. “I know logically it’s not my fault. You know I don’t believe in stuff like that, but I still struggled with it for a long time.”

  I turn his head back to me, forcing his dark eyes to mine. “Manny, it’s not your fault.”

  “I know that now, but I had to tell you.”

  I shift uncomfortably in my seat, wondering if I should ask the obvious question. Do I want to know? Being kissed by three men makes me think I should just wait.

  He surprises me by speaking. “The answer is yes,” he murmurs. “Do I still want you as something more than a sister? Yes.”

  Shock keeps me silent. “You don’t have to say anything,” he says quickly. “I just had to tell you. I can’t keep things from you anymore. I never could, but the last five years have been horrible, Sen. I’ve missed you so much.” His hand tightens around mine.

  “I’ve missed you, too.” And it’s true. I’ve missed all of them, but Manny and I had been so close. It tore my heart apart when I needed him and thought he was ignoring me. I started questioning whether he had ever liked me or considered it his responsibility to drag me around with his friends. Then, I wondered if they ever liked me. All that doubt and worry had only made matters worse.

  His fingers push my hair away from my face, lingering along my cheek, and I turn into the comforting touch before he releases me and turns back around. “Go to bed, Sen. Text me when you get in and let me know you’re okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Bossy,” I mutter as I slip out of the car, but there’s a smile on my lips. I’m equally disappointed and glad he didn’t kiss me too. I think three is all I can handle tonight. But maybe he’s the only one that sees me like that and the others were just kisses between friends? I shake my head as I walk up the stairs. It’s all way too complicated.

  Chapter 19

  Senya

  Mom isn’t home. I take pleasure in the empty apartment, texting Manny separately that I’m okay. I stare at my phone after I text him, wondering if I should be upfront with the others. They know I’m honest and bold and the wondering is bothering the shit out of me, so I type in a quick message. I hope I’m not making a horrible mistake.

  SENYA: Why’d y’all kiss me?

  Technically, Manny didn’t, but he did tell me he liked me that way. There’s silence for several minutes.

  STARBOY: You always speak your mind, don’t you, pretty pixie? I kissed you because I wanted to.

  SUN GOD: You’re pretty and I wanted to kiss you.

  GREASE MONKEY: Same.

  SMARTYPANTS: I haven’t kissed you – yet.

  I sigh at my phone. They can’t make it easy for me, right?

  SENYA: Isn’t it kind of weird? You all kissing me (or wanting too)?

  SUN GOD: It doesn’t have to be weird.

  STARBOY: Do you want to make it weird? Because I can think of some freaky stuff…

  GREASE MONKEY: *rolling my eyes* Srsly, Sen, it doesn’t have to be weird.

  SMARTYPANTS: This is probably a conversation better had in person.

  Count on Manny to make it even harder.

  SENYA: Fine. I guess….

  I pause, trying to figure out my feelings before I pour them into a text. I don’t think I can say what I want to say in person.

  SMARTYPANTS: Yes?

  SENYA: I guess if none of you think it’s weird, then I won’t either.

  STARBOY: Good. Not weird. We’re hot, you’re hot. We’d be hot together. *wink*

  I laugh out loud at Orion’s text.

  GREASE MONKEY: All together? That might get weird. Just sayin.

  My cheeks heat and my heart beats faster. Is he saying what I think he’s saying?

  SMARTYPANTS: Go to bed, Senya.

  SENYA: Bossy.

  SMARTYPANTS: Yep. See you tomorrow.

  And the wise one has spoken. Everyone listens because the phone doesn’t ding again. I fall asleep, dreams of the four boys rolling through my mind in totally inappropriate ways.

  The next morning, I’m almost ready to head downstairs when someone knocks on the door. I roll my eyes. Mom probably lost her keys in whoever’s bed she spent the night. Still drying my hair, I open the door. My jaw drops open.

  “Chad? What the hell are you doing here?”

  My preppy manager looks totally out of place in the dirty hallway. He seems a little scared and really disgusted as his eyes flash from me to the apartment behind me. “I thought the address was wrong. Do you really live here, Senya?”

  His tone is so horrified, I almost laugh. His opinion doesn’t mean shit to me. “Yep. Why are you here?”

  He shifts from foot to foot. “I was going to ask you out again since we’re not at work, but…” He looks behind me again. I purposefully open the door a little wider so he can see the kitchen with its mountain of unwashed dishes, the stained carpet, and the hole in the wall that Loser punched his fist through. His nose crinkles. “I don’t think we’re compatible. I’m sorry, Senya, but it will never work out.”

  I have to keep from falling over in laughter as he practically runs from me. His eyes widen when Mr. Kowalski comes out of his apartment across the hall, dressed in a polka-dotted bathrobe and carrying a toy poodle. His face is still covered in makeup from his
latest drag show. My neighbor looks after Chad and raises an eyebrow at me. I shake my head and release the laughter I’m holding in. If I’d known it was so easy to get rid of Chad, I would have invited him to my place months ago.

  Aric is waiting when I climb down the stairs, straddling his bike with his helmet on his thighs. He’s watching Chad’s Lexus peel out of the parking lot. I brace myself for questions. It probably doesn’t look so good with him leaving my apartment so early in the morning.

  “What did he want? I watched him go in and considered following him, but he didn’t stay long.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief, glad that didn’t get misinterpreted. “He actually came to ask me out. Took one look at my apartment and ran out with his tail between his legs.”

  Aric joins in my laughter as he stands up and places the helmet on my head, fastening the strap under my chin. His fingers linger on my skin. “Pretentious prick,” he mutters under his breath. I nod in agreement.

  He stops me before I slide on behind him. “Are you okay?” His eyes scan my face. “After that text last night…” He trails off, slight color rising in his cheeks. He’s the only one in our small group who blushes as often as I do. I always liked it when we were kids, and it’s still cute.

  “I’m good,” I respond with a real smile. And I am. I haven’t felt this happy for a long time - since before the accident. He nods with a little smile. I get on the bike and wrap my arms around his waist, flattening my hands over his hard abs. He breathes deeply before he turns the key and drives us to school.