Lost & Found: Contemporary Reverse Harem

by Serena Lindahl

  “Our opinions are the only ones that matter,” Manny continues. His hand tightens around Senya’s. He forces her to meet his gaze. “All right?”

  “I worry about your reputations. I don’t care about me.”

  “We’ll deal with it if it happens. But if anyone tries to fuck with you, let us know.”

  I second Manny’s statement with a nod. No one is going to mess with our girl. I’ll make sure of it.

  Orion finishes a stack of pancakes, but we all wait until he’s done to eat. We spend breakfast sharing funny stories from our childhood. We can’t stop touching her. We each reach for her at different points, and she gives us all the same treatment. I want to keep that joy in her eyes, and I look forward to capturing it in photos.

  Chapter 24

  Senya

  Even though it’s amazing and perfect, it’s all a little too much. I’m not used to feeling so good. Every time I touch one of them, their affection and desire pours through me. How can I possibly please them all? Make them all happy? During breakfast, I let myself bask in their attention. When my stomach is full, though, I feel the need to return to the real world. I need space to think.

  “I should go back home to get more clothes, especially for work tonight,” I say. They’re all still shirtless. It hurts to leave them. What I really want to do is take them upstairs and recreate last night. But after my years of being alone, scared and sad, it feels too good to be true. I need to know that if I step away from the afterglow, they won’t change their minds. My dirty apartment feels like a horrible nightmare, but it’s still my reality.

  A shadow crosses Apollo’s expression while Manny stares at me like he can read my mind. “We should go with you,” Apollo says.

  I shrug. “That’s not necessary. I need to get my bike fixed too.”

  Aric smiles, reaching for my hand again. I let him take it, enjoying the slide of his callused fingers across my knuckles. I had a hard time eating with one of them always grabbing for me, but I’m not complaining. I have five years of no affection to make up for. “Already done, sweetheart. I made sure the bike went to the shop last night. They should have dropped it back at your house already.”

  I smile and launch myself in his arms. If it hadn’t been for my bike, last night might not have happened. But I’m also glad to have my freedom back. “Thanks, Aric.”

  “Of course,” he murmurs against my hair. There’s unfinished business between the two of us. I want to take his virginity - if he’ll give it to me. But I want it to be in his time and his way. He didn’t get as much personal attention last night, but it seemed that’s what he preferred. I want more, though, and I hope he agrees.

  “So that’s good,” I say, lifting my head from his lean chest. They’re all so hot, literally and not. I have a hard time wanting to sit or stand on my own. “One of you can drop me off, I can get my stuff, and I can ride my bike back. That is if you want me back.”

  Orion snorts. “Are you kidding? We’re not letting you go again, Pixie. Get extra clothes. Apollo and I will scheme a way to get Mom and Dad to take you in until you’re eighteen. You can have the game room.” The mischievous twinkle in his eyes suggests I won’t be alone.

  Heat rises on my cheeks. “It’s one thing to leave your kids alone in the house, quite another to know what might be going on above your heads. We also don’t know how any of our parents are going to react to – this.” I motion to the five of us.

  Orion shrugs. “I’m not worried about it. I’m well over eighteen, almost nineteen, and school will be over in six months. Mom won’t argue with us. She knows we’re going away soon and wants as much time as she can get before we leave. Besides, ever since she saw you the other day, she’s been badgering both of us. It wouldn’t surprise me if she wanted Apollo and me to date you.”

  I laugh at that, struggling to imagine the traditional Mrs. Tucker being okay with what we have. But a lump rises in my throat. For a day, I let myself forget that three of my guys have scholarships to a college out of town. In six months, they’ll leave and I’ll still be here. I force a smile to my face, though. I’m not ready to have that conversation yet. Promises get made after a night of good sex.

  “I don’t know about you going home alone,” Manny says, still watching me with those eyes that see way too much. “You said your mom was acting weird?”

  A mother cleaning shouldn’t be weird behavior. But for my mom, it is. I shrug. “I think it will be okay. Maybe she’s turning over a new leaf.” I don’t really think so, but I can hope. When Manny starts to protest again, I shake my head and reach for his hand. “I’m used to being on my own more. I just need a little time.”

  Apollo grunts. “I don’t like it, Sen.”

  “Neither do I,” Manny agrees.

  I shrug again. “You may not like it, but you’ll let me do it because you trust me to make my own decisions.”

  “It’s not you that I don’t trust,” Manny grumbles.

  Aric nods in agreement. “I’ll drop you off and make sure your bike is there because I want to go home and see Daisy. But I won’t leave until you text that you’re okay – just to make sure.”

  I look around at the four serious faces before I sigh dramatically. “Fine. I’ll text. Is this how it’s going to be? Four overprotective guys?”

  It’s a joke, but no one laughs. Apollo and Manny both nod firmly and even Aric, who is usually the laid-back one, gives me a crooked grin in apology.

  Orion winks. “Get used to it, pretty pixie. We’re not letting you get hurt again.”

  I want to be mad at their overbearing, protective, Neanderthal asses, but their concern fills me with warmth. It takes more than an hour to actually get out of the house. Each kiss turns into more, and I leave more than one of them with erections I don’t have time to take care of. If I don’t go home now, I don’t know if I’ll ever do it. I’d like to bask in this little fantasy forever, but I can’t. The brothers promise to be there when I get back, and all of them remind me more than once to text. I can tell it’s hard for them to let me go, but it means a lot to me that they do – almost more than actually getting away.

  Aric and I finally slip out, hand in hand. He passes me the extra helmet but stops me with a fierce kiss before I strap it on. His lips are soft and his hands are firm on my hips. He’s changed into jeans, but I miss the shorts. There’s something decadent about being able to feel every inch of them through soft cloth instead of denim.

  “Were you okay with last night?” It’s the first time we’ve had alone all morning. “You said you’re a virgin, so…”

  Aric stops my words with another kiss. “I want you to be my first, Senya, but I want to wait just a bit. Last night was perfect.” He pauses. “I haven’t decided yet whether I want my first time to be just us.”

  “I’m sure everyone will understand if you do.”

  He smiles; his beautiful, pale eyes are soft and understanding. “I know, Sen, and that makes me want everyone there.” He chuckles. “I’ll let you know when I decide.”

  “I look forward to it,” I say honestly. I might be more eager than him. I can’t wait until I experience both Manny and him deep inside and I refuse to feel ashamed for my thoughts. “And Aric? Thank you.”

  “For?”

  “For setting up the class. I know Orion did it too, but you knew how I felt. I needed you all back like this. It wouldn’t have happened if not for your meddling,” I soften my words with another kiss. “Also, thanks for being there when I was pushing everyone else away.”

  He pulls me tighter against him. I breathe in his scent, feeling like I’m home every time one of them hugs me. “I needed you too, Sen,” he whispers. “I needed this, to be honest. I missed the group.”

  “I know. Each of you is different but almost essential.” I shake my head as a poem slowly forms in my brain. I could never speak my thoughts as well as I wrote them. I pull my helmet on and buckle it underneath my chin. My arms grip him tightly as we zoom to
ward my apartment. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m traveling away from where I’m supposed to be instead of toward it.

  My bike is fixed, the tires both inflated and perfectly fine. I give Aric another kiss goodbye and promise him I’ll text. I take a deep breath as I walk up the creaking stairs, wishing I could leave here. I don’t want to take advantage of the Tuckers, even though they were my second family as a kid. I’m not eighteen yet; I don’t want to pressure them regardless of how much Apollo and Orion beg me.

  The apartment doesn’t seem like ours. There’s a pizza box on the table, which isn’t that weird, although I do wonder how she paid for it. Mom’s door is closed. I assume she’s sleeping off a hangover or the exhaustion from cleaning. The living room and kitchen are still tidy, but the scent of pot and alcohol has already overpowered the smell of cleaning products. I text the guys quickly, telling them everything’s okay before I creep into my room. If I don’t have to talk to my mom, I’d rather not.

  I spend several minutes gathering work clothes and underthings. I can’t stay forever at the brothers’ house, but I’ll stay until their parents return so I gather enough clothes for the weekend. Something bangs against the wall I share with Mom’s room, and I curse as I shove things into my backpack. I probably won’t be able to get out of here without facing her. Anger churns through my chest. Why is it so easy for four men to love and protect me but impossible for my mother?

  I push the last few items into my backpack and turn to go but freeze as a scent drifts under the door. Old Spice. No. It can’t be. Ice forms in my veins, making my hands shake. Just the hint of the cologne makes me gag. I can’t be around anyone who wears it. It’s why I had to transfer out of History last semester. The guidance counselor hadn’t understood because I refused to tell her that the teacher’s cologne triggered my PTSD.

  I can’t believe Mom would date someone else that smells like he did. Didn’t she suffer enough? I wasn’t the only one he smacked around. Another piece falls into place – the cleaning. He always required that the apartment be spotless when he came home from whatever he did during the day. It wasn’t legal work.

  I creep to my door, not knowing what to expect. My entire body starts to shake. He’s here. He doesn’t look much different than the last time I saw him, bleeding on the floor of this very kitchen, a steak knife sticking out of his leg. His eyes were red with anger. His angry screams followed me as I ran away. His hair is a little longer; the greasy brown locks hang around the same skinny face. The evil eyes are the same. I’ll never forget them.

  “Ah, there she is!” His voice crawls up my spine and across my skin, turning my stomach over and freezing all my limbs.

  Mom stands in the doorway of her bedroom, her eyes focused on the floor. Her left eye is swollen and puffy. Lou, aka Loser, stands between me and my escape. I glance over my shoulder, wondering if I can make it to my bedroom window before he catches me.

  I turn quickly but something wraps around my ankle, dragging me to the floor and hauling me out of my bedroom. My leggings snag on the cracked linoleum of the kitchen floor. Pain shoots through my calf as he twists his grip.

  “Oh no you don’t, you little bitch.” His touch fills me with revulsion. I kick at him, but I’ve never been able to best him. Although he isn’t huge, he’s still stronger than me. His lean form actually looks more muscular, and I assume he lifted weights in jail. Why do they provide convicts with ways to get stronger? Especially those with a history of violence?

  Loser doesn’t retain control of me. He slams my bedroom door shut, and I hear the lock click. That lock has saved me so many times, but now it stands between me and possible freedom. Before I can get up from the floor, he’s blocking the door to the hallway. My breath pants from me as I weigh my options. I dropped my backpack when he grabbed me, but it wasn’t going to help me. I stand up and press my back against the kitchen wall.

  “What do you want?” I can’t look at Mom. She brought this man back here. She betrayed me.

  Loser laughs. The sound sends a chill down my spine. It’s not a happy laugh. He sounds unhinged. “I came here to see you, of course. Because of you, I spent four years in prison. Do you know what they do to guys like me in prison, Senya?”

  He turns my name into a curse word. I hover by the wall, wanting to get closer to the door but not wanting to get closer to him. My phone is in my pocket, but he’ll be on me the second I pull it out. My ankle feels a little unstable, but I’m sure I could run on it if I needed to. I push the pain away.

  I just need to get out. I need to get back to my guys.

  “You weren’t in prison because of me,” I protest. If I stall him long enough, maybe one of the guys will start to worry?

  He laughs again. “Is that what you think? If you hadn’t fucking stabbed me, I wouldn’t have been in the hospital. If I hadn’t been in the fucking hospital, the police wouldn’t have caught me for that warrant.”

  “If you hadn’t attacked me, I wouldn’t have fucking stabbed you!” I scream the words, praying that someone, anyone, will hear. I know how paper-thin these walls are. He advances on me, and I have nowhere to go. His palm cracks across the side of my face so hard, my vision wavers for a second.

  Mom makes a noise, but neither of us pays any attention to her. I’m too focused on the deranged asshole in front of me.

  “You always thought you were too good,” he growls. His eyes shine with madness and rage. Spit flies from his lips and lands on my shirt. My cheek stings and throbs in tune to my ankle. “Too good for here, too good for your mom, too good for me.” He smiles, revealing three missing teeth, and I wince. He was an ugly bastard before, but he’s even uglier now. “You’re not a kid anymore.”

  The maniac loser has some fucked-up moral compass? His gaze falls to my chest, and I resist the urge to puke all over him.

  While he’s distracted, I slide along the wall toward the front door. He catches my hair, yanking my head back before I even make it to the living room. His other hand grabs one of my breasts, painfully, and my breath stops in my chest. I’m not going to make it out of here this time, not unmolested.

  The realization sends me into a furor of flying fists and feet, heedless of my injuries. I scratch at his face and kick toward his legs. I try to connect with his nuts, but his hand remains in my hair. Every twist wrenches my neck. My fingernails gouge trails in his cheeks.

  He tosses me to the ground, curse words spewing from his mouth. I throw my arms out to protect my face from hitting the floor and my wrist cracks and folds under me. A shrill shriek fills the air, and I don’t even realize that it came from me.

  Fuck.

  I can’t stop, though. I crawl towards the door, scrabbling with my knees and my uninjured arm. I have to get out. I just need to get away. Thoughts race through my mind – Manny’s demanding tone, Orion’s joking gaze, Apollo’s strong presence, and Aric’s sweet smile.

  I need them. I don’t want to be alone.

  Tears stream down my face as I think of living without them, of going back to them broken and used. I know they’ll still take me back, but they’ll never forgive themselves. I refuse to let this asshole poison all my good memories.

  Loser grabs my ankle again, pulling hard. More agony shoots up my leg. There’s so much pain now; it doesn’t faze me as much. I am pain. I am anger. He won’t get me.

  I kick at him, ignoring my injuries, and scream bloody murder. Maybe at least one of my neighbors will call the cops. My hand grabs for my phone, but he snatches it and throws it against the wall with an animalistic growl.

  His body lands on mine. He’s hard, and he grinds against my ass. I claw at the dirty carpet, bile rising in my throat. He paws at my leggings. The feel of his grubby fingers where my loving guys touched me is violating, horrible.

  No. I won’t let him. Not like this.

  Tears stream down my face. A sound that is a combination of squelching and a bell-like gong bursts over my cries. The body on top of me goes heavy
. I grunt with pain as I try to pull myself out from under him, only vaguely realizing that the hands have stopped grabbing at me.

  I gasp for breath as the body rolls off me. There’s a dent in the side of Loser’s head; blood pours from a gash in his skull. Vomit rises in my mouth as I look away.

  What happened?

  Mom stands over him, the cast-iron frying pan drooping from her hand. Her entire body shakes. She stares at him like she can’t believe what she did.

  “Mom,” I croak.

  “Go.” Her voice is soft and calm.

  “Mom, come with me. He’s not dead.” His chest is still rising and falling. I haul myself to my feet, limping and hissing with pain as my ankle gives out under me. My wrist feels like a throbbing, concrete block hanging from my arm.

  “Go,” Mom says more firmly, louder this time. I open my mouth, but she looks at me and screams. “Get out of here, Senya. Now!”

  Loser groans. His body twitches and his eyelashes flutter. I don’t argue anymore. I scramble toward the door and down the hall, tears streaming down my face as I grab at my pocket. But there’s no phone anymore. He broke it.

  I almost fall down the stairs. I do land on my butt and just scoot the rest of the way down. Wood splinters pull at my leggings and jam in the skin underneath.

  My body is pain, but my mind is fear. Get away. Get away. Get away. The words pound through my brain.

  “Senya! Fuck, Senya!”

  It doesn’t seem strange that Manny and the brothers are here. To my pain-addled brain, they’re here because I need them. Apollo swings me into his arms while his brother just gapes. His widened eyes shine with tears.

  “Pixie, oh Pixie, what happened?” Orion’s hand lifts like he wants to touch me but he doesn’t know where. I’m sure I look horrible, and he doesn’t want to hurt me more. One of my eyes feels like it’s swelling shut and blood fills my mouth.

  Manny’s face is a mask of rage – cold, calculated anger that sends a shiver of fear through me. Not of him, but for him. He turns toward the stairs.