Trapped

by E J Pay

  “And don’t go sneaking around at night. These parts aren’t safe for a young girl. One or two goes a missin’ every year. Now get yourself changed and we’ll see if you live up ta my standards. I’ll see you in the kitchen.”

  I thank Aphrodite again when she leaves and I close the door to my shed. There is a single, high window in the wooden structure. A small cot with a tiny table beside it fill up most of the space. It can’t be more than six feet square, but I am small and my needs are few. I set my bag on the table and lay my clothing on the bed. I decide to leave the little pearl in my satchel on the table. The servant clothes have their own satchel and I don’t want to risk mixing them up and losing the pearl.

  “Well, Dom,” I say to the empty space beside me, “I’ve got work. I won’t let you down. If only you stayed.” A tiny tear drops to my robes. I wipe it from my face and turn for the door.

  Good luck to you, Pearl Athena, she says to me as I head out the door. I give her a small smile. I’m going to need all the luck I can get.

  I step into the courtyard. I am bathed in sunlight and a gentle breeze. I feel the wind taking my sorrow for just a moment, granting me peace in its place. I am overwhelmed with a sense of being reborn. And I am being reborn in a way. Letting go of Pearl so I can live as Athena. The sun is burning high in the Karneios sky. This is the month Dom and I celebrate our twelfth birthday. I shield my eyes and welcome the day.

  Today, Athena is born.

  Chapter 15

  Happy birthday to Athena.

  Today marks a full year of living and working for this inn. I lay on the cot in my shed and listen to the sounds of early morning outside my door. I am ready to rise and go about my duties, but I want to take a moment to breathe in the past year.

  I spent the first several months crying myself to sleep on my cot. The little pearl always lay quietly on the table. After a few months, we started sharing our favorite memories of Dom. I share our childish conversations under our olive tree. The little pearl shares the memories of watching him treat someone kindly. Those times when he thought no one else was around. The memories are good. They help us both remember Dom as the little boy who gave everything. We remember him that way because he was that way. And now we live for his memory.

  I barely made it through those first months as a servant here. Whenever I was rested and fed, I had time to think of Dom. The sadness was almost enough to overwhelm me. But a remark from Desdemona about selling me or a threat from Aphrodite to send me out at night to be kidnapped were enough to bring me out of the gloom. At least enough to earn my keep.

  Eventually, I began practicing my mind manipulation again. On more than one occasion, I convinced Aphrodite that the servants should have dessert or a night off. The other servants would hear me speaking to her and they loved me for it. They started calling me Athena, the girl with the golden tongue.

  I use my communication skills constantly in the kitchen. I make everything sweeter, softer, crunchier, and more savory than the other kitchen maids. I get my work done faster, too, and that has raised me in Aphrodite’s esteem. She has started teaching me other Greek dishes and I love it. Last night we made spanakopita and souvlaki for dinner for important inn guests. They raved about the meal and Aphrodite gave me the credit. Desdemona smiled and whispered, “Investment,” as Aphrodite and I went back to the kitchen. But the real treat of the evening was the dessert. Revani. My mouth waters at the memory. The dense cake with its nutty, grainy texture and lemony flavor was the most heavenly thing I have had in all my life. Aphrodite saved a special piece just for me. A little celebration for the thirteenth birthday of Athena.

  There have been no inquiries at the inn for a girl named Pearl. No stories of cursed children bringing death to their families or servants. No politicians looking for a magician to help them destroy their enemies. But as promised, rumors of kidnapped or murdered people reach our ears frequently. Servants and the poor are at the greatest risk. We are near Sparta and have to be watchful over each other.

  One girl was dismissed from the inn for being unmarried and with child. I was surprised. The girl was one whom Aphrodite had taught for many years. I thought Aphrodite’s feelings for her would have provided leniency or assistance of some kind. But the girl was sent out of the inn without her remaining pay and promised that if she tried to use Aphrodite as a reference, she would regret it.

  When I expressed my surprise and concern to a fellow servant, she told me that Aphrodite has a bitter past that leaves her so unkind to girls in need. Aphrodite’s sister was blessed with the beauty that Aphrodite lacks. Aphrodite was older, and was therefore the first in line to marry. But her younger, more attractive sister, became pregnant by Aphrodite’s fiancé. A marriage was quickly arranged, leaving Aphrodite miserable and alone. When giving birth, her sister lost too much blood and died. The infant died shortly thereafter. But the husband did not return to marry Aphrodite in her sister’s place. Instead, he moved to town with his inheritance and his wife’s possessions and never looked back. Aphrodite has despised unmarried, pregnant girls ever since.

  So, I keep my head down, working hard to keep my place. The longer I can remain invisible here at this inn, the safer I will be. I may be able to live a normal life someday. I stretch and wish my little pearl a lovely day and head into the fresh morning air.

  I go about my duties as usual. It is a special day for me. I am grateful for the safety and the growth I’ve had. I sing as I work, humming here and there where I don’t remember the lyrics to the Greek songs.

  “That is lovely singing,” I hear as I enter the dining room with arms full of clean plates. I didn’t expect anyone to be in the room yet. The hour is still early and inn guests sleep later than the servants. This room is usually empty at this time of the morning. The voice speaking to me is low with a booming quality to it. I turn quickly and see one of the important guests from last night’s meal sitting at an empty table, an empty glass and amphora for alcohol in front of him.

  “Pardon me sir,” I say, bowing my way out of the room. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

  “Nonsense, girl. I said the singing was lovely,” he is looking at me with half-opened eyes, a line of drool shining on his cheek.

  I bow again and set the plates on the closest table to me. I head back toward the kitchen, eager to not be alone with this man.

  “I say, girl,” he calls out to me, “have you any more of this fine wine in your kitchen?”

  I nod and answer, “We do in the cellar sir, I will have one of the servant boys fetch it for you.”

  “Nonsense, girl,” he dribbles out again. “No need to upset the house on my account. When you go back to the cellars, take a look around for me and save me a container of my own. I’ll gladly pay you for it.”

  “I thank you, sir.” I say and bow again. “I will look for the wine, but there is no need to pay me for it. The master and mistress of the house are the only ones who need to be compensated.” He is making me uncomfortable. I don’t want any of his money. I want him to stop talking to me.

  The man raises his head and lifts his eyebrows. “Morals, eh? It’s not very often that you find a servant with morals, now is it?”

  I know the question is rhetorical, but I cannot help but answer. “On the contrary, sir. I believe you will find that all of our servants here are honest and upright. The master and mistress treat us well. We have no need to steal from them.”

  “Humph,” he lets out as he drains the dregs of his already empty glass. “Perhaps I should add to my own household from some of the servants here. Tell me, girl. Would you like to come work in my home?” He raises a corner of his mouth in a crooked, drunken smile.

  I keep my face smooth and expressionless as I answer, “Thank you, sir, but I am quite happy here.” I bow again and quickly leave the room. My stomach is a knot of anxiety. I am determined to stay away from this man and his household. Something about him makes me feel unsafe.

  As I go about my
day, I receive many congratulations from my fellow servants for my time spent with them here. As Aphrodite promised, several have died or moved on to other places of employment. But rather than move into their quarters, I decide to stay in my tiny shed. I like the privacy it gives me. I can practice my powers while I am there.

  Aphrodite has taken me under her wing after all. I haven’t tried to manipulate her mind to make her have friendly feelings toward me. I want to be valued for who I really am and not what I make others think I am. So, her kindness toward me is born out of real feeling. I work with her this morning to plan and prepare for the evening meal. There is a large group of visiting dignitaries here at the inn. Tonight is their sendoff dinner.

  “You’re a quiet one today, aren’t you Athena?” Aphrodite likes to talk while we work. “What’s on your mind, young thing?”

  “Oh, nothing in particular,” I reply. “I’ve just been thinking about my time here and how I have enjoyed it.”

  Aphrodite gets a twinkle in her eye along with a raised eyebrow. “You sure it’s not feelings of love that has you a thinking so?”

  I furrow my brows as I answer. “Love? No. What would make you think that?”

  “Oh, I heard some of the other servants talking last night. Many of our young men find you a beautiful thing. An’ I heard the gentlemen talking ta you in the dining room this marnin’. He noticed yer beauty too or he wouldn’t ha’ said anythin’ ta you.”

  I blush at her words, embarrassed to be the object of anyone’s attention.

  Aphrodite sees my blushing and mistakes it for the feelings of a flirtatious girl, pleased to be the center of attention. “Just a member what I told you,” she says. “Any harlotry and you’re out. We have a fine and decen’ establishment here and my brother an’ his wife don’t want none of them intrigues amongst their servants. You understand me, Athena?”

  I nod and return to my work, determined to let the subject go. It doesn’t take long for Aphrodite to find something else to talk about, mainly the guests at the inn. The dignitaries have been staying here for several weeks. Our inn is a resting place for them on a longer journey they are making. They have been visiting other towns and cities in Greece, meeting the people they lead and enforcing laws.

  However, several of them are using this as an opportunity to take bribes from the people and have secret dalliances with each other or with servants they meet along the way. The memory of the drunken man in the dining room is enough to keep me away. I want no part of their escapades. I want to keep a low profile. I have to keep safe.

  The dinner Aphrodite and I make this evening is one of the best I’ve been a part of. The meal begins with the horiatiki salad and is followed by tiropita. I mix together the butter and cheese and olive oil and roll them into their triangle pastry shells. We also make tzatziki and serve the thick garlic and dill yogurt with fresh pita bread. Aphrodite shaves lamb from the tall rotisserie to serve with the meal and enough retsina wine to go around. Once dessert makes it to the table, the guests are quiet with full stomachs. The baklava and ellinikos coffee are taken only in small amounts as the guests fight fatigue.

  The man from the dining room this morning is here again tonight. I hope he has forgotten all about me since this morning. The amount of wine he must have in him should help him forget. There are so many people in this city and at this inn. But just to be safe, I have one of our younger servant boys bring the man the same wine he was drinking through last night. I think I have played it safe enough, but as I help clear the dessert from the tables, I am forced to walk past the man who is again (or still) drunk.

  He reaches out and grabs my elbow and turns me to face him.

  “Oh, girl,” he stammers. “How would you like to come work for me?” I pull away as much as I can without getting into trouble with the innkeeper.

  “I thank you, sir, but I am very happy with my situation here at the inn.” I nod again, and try to leave, but he still has ahold of my arm.

  “Nadir,” he addresses the innkeeper who is overseeing the evening, “how much can I give you for this young girl here? I believe she would be an asset to my home.”

  Before I even need to try out my mind manipulation on the man, Desdemona steps in. “I’m afraid she isn’t for sale, Spiro. She is an investment, you know, and I am not ready to part with her.”

  “An investment, you say?” the drunken man eyes me for a moment before letting go of my arm. “Perhaps she will be available in a year or two then. I will come and ask after her another time.”

  I make my way to the kitchen as quickly as I can, listening to the group conversation turn to the subject of investments. I am sick inside from the danger I have just left. How much longer can I remain safe here at the inn? Anywhere?

  I sigh as I head to the work piled up in the kitchen. From the corner of my eye, I see Aphrodite watching me quietly.

  Chapter 16

  Happy birthday to Athena.

  I’m fourteen now. This past year has been more turbulent than the first year I lived and worked here. I’ve grown taller and have started to fill out the curves and shape of a woman. I’m not very happy about it. Besides the frustrations that meet me every month, I have started noticing the attention Aphrodite has been warning me about for the last two years.

  Two of the boys who work in the stables have been taking the time to talk to me every night when I finish my work and return to my shed. And at least one of the house boys has been sending me messages. I keep finding little gifts laid at my doorstep. Candies and ribbon, even a small bracelet. I never keep the gifts or use them. I don’t want to encourage anyone, but my neglect doesn’t faze my admirers. The gifts keep coming. The conversation keeps coming. The attention keeps coming. And Aphrodite notices all of it.

  “Ah, you can ignore her,” one of the stage hands tells me after dinner. “Aphrodite doesn’t let us mess around because she had some bad history with a guy. But we can keep to ourselves and she’ll never know.”

  “I highly doubt that,” I respond as I move away from his touch. “Aphrodite always knows what happens here.” The boy tries to take my hand, but I pull away. “Look,” I tell him, “You are very nice and I appreciate your compliments and offers, but I’m really not interested in a romantic relationship. I like my job here and I don’t want to lose it.”

  The boy lets his arm fall to his side and he looks at me for a moment, thinking about what I could mean.

  “You know, Athena, you won’t be able to be free forever,” he says. I get a chill down my spine as I feel the double meaning in his words. Why does he even think I’m free now? “You are too beautiful to not be taken by someone.” My temper rises. I don’t want to be in a relationship. My looks have nothing to do with it. I’m just not interested.

  “Well,” I say, “I would like to be free as long as I can.” I walk faster to get distance between me and this boy and I head to my shed. If Dom were still here, he could protect me and I would let him. The boys are less eager to mess with girls whose brothers are here as well.

  Where have you been? The little pearl asks when I sit on my cot.

  I had to help clean later tonight and one of the stable boys tried holding my hand again. I pull out my bundle of wages. It isn’t much, but it is something. I don’t know where it can take me, but I want it to take me somewhere.

  Which one? She asks about the stable boy. The one with the longer hair or the shorter hair.

  The one with the longer hair, I reply. He is a little more bold than the others. He said I couldn’t be free forever. I know he’s talking about marriage, but I’m hearing more than that.

  I know this must be hard for you, Pearl Athena, the little pearl says, but you are destined to find the freedom you seek. Don’t let a young man from a different land convince you otherwise.

  I smile at the pearl. I pick her up and feel the heat created in my fingers.

  Little pearl, I say, Why are you always so hot when I touch you?

  She is
quiet for a moment before she answers.

  Pearl Athena, do you remember your past? A breath catches in my throat. My past. It was so long ago.

  Sometimes I remember, I tell her. But other times, I forget who I am, what I am doing, where I am going.

  The little pearl listens and pauses before speaking again.

  Pearl Athena, she says, you and I are connected in more ways than you realize. You sometimes forget who you are, but I never forget. We are a part of one another.

  How? I ask.

  I’m not sure of the family line, Pearl Athena, but you and I share so much. The blood in my body is from the same family line as the blood in your future body.

  We are related? I ask. I have lived so long with the little pearl, I forgot I’m actually living in her body. I have a body of my own. One from a future time and place that I am forgetting with each passing day.

  Yes, the pearl continues, we share a bloodline. That is why we burn. My power recognizes you and your power recognizes me.

  Family. The little pearl is family. That means Dom is really my family, too. We are related. I start to cry.

  Why do you cry, Pearl Athena? the little pearl asks.

  You are my family, I say. Dom is really my family too.

  Yes, she says. Your love for him is the family love it should be. This is why you can save me, Pearl Athena. You and I are connected. You are saving your ancestors.

  I smile at my companion.

  Pearl Athena, she says, What do you know about my pearl form? I think for a moment.

  You came from an oyster Father brought back from the coast, I say. You were the only pearl in the bag of oysters and when I found you, I gave you to Dom.