Trapped

by E J Pay

  “With a full traveling bag?” he asks.

  I stand in silence and face him. I don’t know how to get out of this.

  “Athena,” he breaks the silence, “do you really want to leave us? To leave me?”

  I nod as a hot tear makes its way down my cheek. I tremble with a feeling I cannot understand. Maybe it is fear. Maybe it is anger. Maybe it is something else.

  Gileaus strokes my arm where he has hold of my wrist then steps closer to me. I take a step backward, unwilling to be drawn in. I want to leave. I have to leave. I don’t want him to stop me.

  “Athena, I won’t stop you if this is what you really want.”

  “This is what I really want.” My answer is a whisper and I cannot look him in the eye.

  “Then let me come with you,” Gileaus says as he steps closer again. I am surprised by what he is saying. He would be willing to leave all of this, to leave his life for me? I shake my head.

  “You can’t come with me,” I tell him. “Where I have to go is dangerous and what I have to do could hurt you.”

  “I don’t understand what you mean,” he says. He comes closer. I don’t understand myself. I just know that every step on my path has led to danger to those around me. I don’t know how much more I can take and I don’t know how to protect him.

  I keep shaking my head, tears rolling down my face, Gileaus steps closer, wraps me in his arms and presses his lips to mine. My tears are in the way and I taste the salt intermingled with the kiss. How can I leave him behind?

  “Let me come with you,” Gileaus whispers again as I rest my head on his chest.

  “I don’t know how to do that,” I answer honestly.

  “Then explain it to me.”

  My heart is pounding and voices are screaming in my ears, “STOP!” they all say. “STOP! These are dangerous waters! He cannot know! You must not tell him!” but I don’t have the power to obey anymore. I have to let someone know my secrets. I have to let someone in. I choose Gileaus.

  I turn my face up to meet his gaze. His eyes melt into mine and see into my soul. He loves me completely. I know I can trust him. He will keep me safe.

  “You don’t know everything about me,” I begin.

  “Then tell me,” he says. “There is nothing about you that I don’t want to know.”

  “I know,” I say. I brush his cheek with my hand. “We need to talk privately. I don’t want to say what I have to say here.”

  He turns and looks at the vast estate behind him. From the sad look in his eyes, I feel that he is linked to his home. It is a part of who he is, but he is willing to let it go. He turns his eyes to me again and kisses my lips firmly.

  “Then let’s go for a walk,” he says. He takes me by the hand and together we walk through the gate.

  The tall, scratchy grass continues to grow outside of the estate. But a road leads through the center of it. We step on the path and walk it hand in hand.

  “There is a little olive tree just beyond that hill,” he tells me. “I used to climb it when I was young. It is a way off the road, a bit lonely, but a safe place to talk.”

  “To the tree then,” I say, my fingers linked through his. Gileaus takes my traveling bag in his hand and carries it for me down the road and up a small hill. I feel its weight when he lifts it from my shoulder. I am lighter without it.

  When we reach the crest of the hill, I see the little olive tree in the distance. The night is dark, but the moon is full. I see the silhouette of the olive tree stretching out over the moonlit grass of the hillside. Its branches are outstretched in an open embrace, ready to take me in. A rough grasp waiting to take hold.

  We reach the tree and sit on the soft ground by its roots. A small mound of dirt marks the place of a child’s buried treasure. We sit quietly in the darkness and I try to find the best way to explain who I am.

  “Gileaus, I am not who you think I am.”

  “Yes, you’ve told me that before,” he says as he squeezes my hand. “I want to know you, Athena. I am ready to listen.”

  I take a deep breath and weave my tale in a way he will understand. I tell him of Nyobi Kadul and her curse on Mama’s womb. I tell him about Dom, the twin I lost. I tell him about Acacia. I tell him about the inn. I tell him about his father.

  “Athena,” he says, horror written in his tone, “Athena. My father. I didn’t know. I didn’t know. I knew he was horrible and lived a dark life, but I had no idea he took you.” He stands and runs his fingers through his hair, pulling at the roots, pacing back and forth. “Athena, what can I do?” he asks. “How can I make this right? I can take you back to the inn. You don’t have to be trapped in our home.” He kneels on the ground in front of me, taking both my hands in his, trembling as he speaks. “Forgive me for my father’s sin,” he whispers.

  “You need no forgiveness,” I say. “You had no part in the wrong that was done to me. You have treated me as your equal from the beginning, Gil. I have been safe in your home.”

  Gileaus’ hands are still trembling as he kisses my fingers. His face is beaded with sweat and he shudders as he lets go of my hands.

  “I don’t understand why he would do that, Athena. Your whole life was ruined when he took you.”

  “It wasn’t ruined, Gil,” I say. “It was changed. I had no real connections with anyone anymore. He didn’t take me from a family I loved. He took me selfishly, yes. He is not in a right mind, Gil. But it could have been much worse. I am not ignorant of that.”

  “Athena. Athena. Athena.” Gileaus whispers my name over and over again.

  We sit like that together, me with arms wrapped around my knees, Gileaus kneeling at my feet, for over an hour. When his mind goes back to the darkness, he whispers my name again and again. That is the only sound we make.

  After some time of silence, Gileaus meets my eyes. “You didn’t tell me why you were chased from your home in Argos.”

  “It’s part of the curse from Nyobi Kadul,” I tell him.

  “She cursed you so you would never have a home?” he asks. “Is that why you won’t marry me?

  “No, Gil,” I assure him. “It isn’t that kind of curse, really. She cursed the children born from Mama’s womb to have powers. Powers that would make them hunted.”

  “What do you mean, Athena?” Gileaus asks. “What kind of powers?”

  My heart speeds up again and my mouth goes dry. I have kept this part of the secret for years. I am opening up my life and fears to another person. Someone I love.

  “The kind of powers that could rule a nation,” I tell him. “I can control objects. I can control living things. I can control people.”

  Gileaus sits quietly for a moment. I don’t know if he believes me or wonders about my sanity.

  “Show me,” he says quietly in the darkness. “Show me who you really are, Athena.”

  I will not deny him. I feel the fire of my power growing in my stomach. I breathe slowly to keep myself calm and focused. I run my fingers over the dirt, speaking to it with my mind. It is warm at its surface, but I feel its cold core beneath me. It is willing to speak to me, maybe even to help me.

  What do you want of us? The dirt asks roughly to my mind.

  I want to show this man that you are alive. I want to show him your worth, I say, remembering the way to praise anything I speak to.

  Hmph, the ground is skeptical. What do you humans know about our worth? You take us and use us for your own gain.

  I know your worth, I say as I send soothing feelings into the earth, I know you give of yourself. I am grateful to you for all you do for us.

  I feel the earth swell with pride. Well, we are willing to show this man our power, but only for a moment. We won’t be sustaining him forever.

  That is all I ask of you, I say quietly.

  I continue to talk to and coax the earth. I feel on the ground for an olive and find one just beginning to rot. I bury it, pit and all, in the earth. Just as it did for Dom, the earth sends its water and nutr
ients to the little olive and pit. There is no sun for the little plant to grow, so its life will be short. I continue to talk soothingly to the earth and the olive. I hum a tune as I do. My body tells me this is the way it is done. Gileaus stands quietly by my side as I work.

  Within a moment, the little tree is sprouting from the ground. It grows rapidly, reaching the height of my shoulders in just a minute or two. Gileaus is holding his breath as he watches it grow.

  The little tree grows a few inches more and begins to sprout leaves before the ground has done all it is going to do.

  There, it says to me, we don’t care how well you sing us to your will, that is all we have to give today.

  I thank you for your generosity, I say. I will not ask for more.

  The ground sends one more Humph to my mind before letting go of the connection.

  I turn to face Gileaus. He is paler than the moon.

  Slowly, Gileaus turns to meet my eyes. He is trying to look at me, but keeps looking at the small tree behind me instead.

  “Are you okay?” I ask. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. He blinks several times, then raises his arm and points at the tree.

  When I turn around, I see that the tree is already dying. Gileaus steps closer behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders. We watch as the tree dries up and falls, its roots not at all strong enough to keep it upright anymore.

  “You did this,” he says into my ears.

  “Yes. I did.”

  We are quiet for another several moments when Gileaus whispers, “Show me more.”

  I take him by the hand and lead him to the dead tree. “Help me,” I say, and together we break apart the dry limbs and stack them on the dirt. I gather some of the dry grass and fill the cavities made by the branches. I open my traveling bag and pull out the small blanket from inside. I lay it on the ground by the woodpile and Gileaus sits next to me.

  I close my eyes and sway from side to side, feeling the melody even before I begin to hum it. Air that I love, I say. I feel those Mother eyes turning to me. They have been with me for years since I came to this place. I have reached out rarely, but I have always felt them watching me.

  Yes, child, they say to me. How can we help you?

  Please, I ask, please help me start this fire. I want to show the man I love what you can do.

  Indeed child, the air says in her many voices, we will help you.

  A distant breeze makes its way down the hillside, a group of air molecules gathers together, whirling in a tight ball. It superheats and dives into the pile of dead wood and grass. A flame bursts from the center, taking hold of the fuel with hunger. For the first time, I feel the fire speaking to me. It responds to the sound of the melody I am humming.

  Creator, it says. Devourer. Creator. There are many voices to the fire, but they are all speaking over one another. Male and female, old and young. Some of the voices are angry, others are afraid. All of the voices are hungry.

  I stop humming and sit still. The fire ceases to speak to me. I feel fear in the pit of my stomach. Though I can communicate with the fire, I feel a limited sense of control over it. It called me Creator, then Devourer. What did it mean? I am too afraid to ask. I let the fire burn as Gileaus holds me close to his side.

  Chapter 23

  This is why I can’t marry you,” I tell Gileaus as we sit in the dark. The embers from the fire have died away and the morning light is beginning to peek over the horizon. “If anyone else discovers the power I have, they will want to use it for themselves.”

  “Athena,” he says, “there is nothing in this world that we cannot face together. There is no reason for anyone else to know what you can do.”

  No one else can know what I can do. That would be fatal for me and for Gileaus.

  “Gil, the plants and earth and air are just a part of my powers,” I tell him. “I have that kind of power over people too.”

  Gileaus thinks for a moment before answering, “Is that how you helped my father?”

  “It is.”

  “Why didn’t you use your powers to keep him from taking you in the first place?”

  “I have to see those I am reaching to mentally,” I tell him. “I was blindfolded, gagged and bound for the journey. By the time I saw him again face to face, I was too exhausted to do anything. I didn’t know where I was. I was in pain. It was so hard to even think.”

  Gileaus is silent again.

  “Athena.”

  “Yes?”

  “Have you used your mind skills on me?”

  “No, Gil,” I assure him as I reach up and touch his cheek. “I made the conscious decision to never touch your mind.”

  “Why not?”

  “From the beginning, I wanted to know you and I wanted you to know me. I wanted our feelings to be real.”

  Gileaus reaches forward and kisses me. Softly at first then with growing intensity. He tangles his fingers in my hair, pulling me into him tighter and tighter. My hands are resting on his chest and I feel his heartbeat through his robes. My own heartbeat is beating in time with his. For this moment, nothing else matters. Not escape, not power, not Athena. Just him. We are one and in love and it is a beautiful feeling.

  “Marry me,” he whispers as he pulls away. “Marry me and be my wife, Athena. You know me better than anyone in the world and now I know you, really and truly know you. I still love you and you still love me. Please Athena. Will you be my wife?”

  So close to him, feeling his heart beating with mine, the sun’s rays barely breaking over the horizon, I can only think of one word.

  “Yes.”

  Chapter 24

  Now that we are engaged, I don’t want to be apart from Gileaus. I return to the estate and look forward to the future before me. My heart aches for the loss in my life, but this is my life now. The pull to move still surges through my chest, but I want to let it go. I am Athena and I want to be happy.

  News of the engagement spreads quickly and I am pleased by everyone’s reaction. Namaah smiles as she holds my hands. Her eyes shine with joy for me and she presses her heart over and over again. We embrace and I feel the warmth of friendship between us. Abdullah gives me a nearly-toothless smile and congratulations. Since she has a new apprentice, I will not need to take over as head of the household kitchen, though I will soon need a staff of my own.

  Gileaus’ family are mostly happy for us. His sister raised an eyebrow and offered a cold congratulations when we told her the news. But Gileaus and I will be creating a home of our own, away from the estate. I won’t need her approval to be happy. The twins are excited when we tell them. I promise to give them extra sweets whenever they come to visit. Rhea holds me close and whispers a tearful congratulations into my ear. Spiro is all smiles and congratulates Gileaus on making such a sound investment. My heart pricks at his words.

  I am working in the kitchen, making a new market list for the week, when I hear a commotion at the front of the house. At first, I think the twins are rough-housing, but it doesn’t take long to realize there is something much worse going on.

  “Back with you, vermin!” I hear the sentry shouting. “You will not pass on my watch!” I hear animals in the courtyard clucking and braying and kicking in fear. Footfalls run throughout the house and into the courtyard. I leave my place and go to see what is happening.

  When I arrive in the entry room of the home, I see several men fighting in the courtyard. I recognize Spiro’s guards. Some of the other men are recognizable as well. I have seen them serving their masters at political gatherings here at the estate.

  It doesn’t take long for more men to arrive through the entry to the estate with clubs and swords raised above their heads to join the fight. Our guards are greatly outnumbered, but brandish their swords with skill before their assailants.

  Spiro runs down the hall with Gileaus at his heels. Rhea is close behind them and lets out a scream.

  “Back! All of you!” Spiro shouts to the women. “Stay inside
and remain safe!”

  Spiro pulls his own dagger from its sheath beneath his robes and runs to the weaponry in the courtyard. Gileaus is with him. The other women have retreated to the kitchen, but I cannot bring myself to leave. I must stay and help Gileaus however I can.

  Soon, Gileaus and Spiro have joined the fight. Then I see two, smaller figures fighting with clubs. It is Alcmene and Heracles. Why are they fighting? They are too young and too small! They will be killed! I focus my attention on the boys, urging them with my mind to leave the fight. They stop and turn to one another. I cannot hear them, but I am maneuvering their conversation. I urge them to find a safe place to go until the fighting is done.

  All of a sudden, I see a large guard with a club approaching the boys. His face is twisted in a disgusting grimace as he draws closer to them, his club raised. He lifts his arm high above his head and I do the one thing I know will stop him. In one swift movement, I remove the hamsa medallion from my neck.

  In an instant, the guard drops his club to the ground. I see him screaming and holding his head. Blood is coming from his nose and ears. The twins are so close they can see the man and they run away screaming. Good. They are safe. No one else sees what is happening to the guard. There is too much other noise and mayhem going on.

  I place the hamsa back around my neck and look to wherever else I can help. I see several of the intruding guards pushing into our defense. I send my focus into them. I pour fear into their hearts. A few of them stumble backward when the icy fear fills their hearts. I cannot affect all of them at once, so I turn my attention back to the guards who are doing the best. They are strong, physically and mentally. It will take more than fear to turn their focus.

  I reach deep inside and pull out a horrifying dread. I snake the dread on the ground and toward their feet. It laces its way up their legs until it reaches their necks. Then the dread snakes its greedy tendrils down their throats. This time the effect is immediate. One of the guards screams. He drops his sword and runs away as fast as his legs will carry him. The other guard sees him running away and begins to cry. While he is distracted, one of the estate guards pushes forward with his sword into the abdomen of the attacker. Looking up from his wound to our guard, the enemy guard kneels to the ground, tears streaming down his face, and curls into a ball. His suffering tears at my heart. I want to give him peace as he dies slowly in the courtyard, but my focus has to be elsewhere.