Kudos
Page 1
Eternal Voyager
Kudos
Conor Kostick
First published 2015 by Curses & Magic, Dublin, Ireland
ISBN 978-0-9576320-2-8
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or utilised in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning, or in any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.
Cover image © Andersonrise / Dreamstime.com
Kudos
Curses & Magic, 2015
Contents
Preface
1. Bent Street
2. A Small Beginning
3. The Metaversal Kudos Chart
4. Beneath the Waves
5. Free From Kudos
6. Fashion
7. The Pleasuredome and the Waterfall
Preface
These are the tales of Eternal Voyager. They come to me from EV himself and I like to think these stories are largely true, but I have taken the liberty of amending them to adjust a certain self-congratulatory bias in the original versions.
It was around the middle of the sixth century AR (After Re-beginning) that we had the ‘kudos’ crisis and that is as good a place as any to start. For in the course of these events, Eternal Voyager passed through a defining test of character.
There are a lot of recordings and metacasts that can be used to illustrate exactly what happened, but this is my version, assisted by a lengthy conversation with his closest companion, Angel.
The Kudos Chart began in a small house, 13 Bent Street, a remote part of the Metaverse inhabited by slackers, star surfers, and philosophers. Various people claimed the credit for the idea, but my understanding is that it was probably Glitter Flame who got up the energy to implement the first chart.
1. Bent Street
Six avatars - three female, two male, and one an indeterminate feline - were lounging on comfortable couches in the front room of 13 Bent Street. In the centre of the room, a low glass table supported a giant hookah with arms like tentacles, arms long enough that you could lie full stretch on your back, look at the patterns in the ceiling and, from time to time, take a long suck of the pipe that connected you to the communal hookah. All six of the entities present were drawing down a slow-burning drug that filled the room with a bitter-sweet scent reminiscent of an intense dance party: a combination of perfume and sweat.
Of course the hookah was just for show, in this region of the Metaverse all avatars were free to access one of a thousand altered mind states as they pleased, but IWT-3 is best shared and a hookah is a popular way of doing this. The burning resin fills the top of the chamber with its fumes, which the imbiber draws in to their avatar with a happy burble after the smoke has passed over cooling water. The effect of IWT is to make you languorous, philosophical, and well-disposed towards your fellow entities. It has the negative effect, however, that one’s motivation to act upon the world suffers.
As a consequence of several years of IWT use, the gardens around this particular house were overgrown and full of the debris of abandoned games and projects. Half a dozen star-boards were rusting there, covered by a crop of dandelions, buttercups and bindweed. Almost hidden in the tall grass, the bright colours of a variety of semi-deflated plastic balls marked the end point of a number of long-forgotten sporting enterprises.
‘You know what?’ began Glitter.
Before she could continue, her question provoked a number of more or less simultaneous responses as the avatars sprawled across the ample cushions of their settees looked up from their musings.
‘Someone has set up a hive over beside the yellow lake, they are looking for ants. I was thinking we should go join it; to experience complete subordination to the will of the queen.’ (Clarion)
‘Plato was right. Numbers have a real existence.’ (Mellow)
‘The finest star surfer of this epoch is Dour Mac Dire.’ (Sol)
‘Existence is futile.’ (Lady Sorrow)
‘There has to be a satisfactory definition of love.’ (Eternal Voyager)
‘No,’ replied Glitter. ‘As it happens I disagree with each and every one of you. But that’s not the point. My question was rhetorical. It was a preamble to making a suggestion rather than an invitation to jump in with your thoughts.’
‘Ahh, in thasss case, suggesss away,’ a benevolent purring voice, that of Clarion, responded for them all.
‘My suggestion is this,’ Glitter continued determinedly, ‘we should tidy up the garden.’
A long pause followed. Was it that their attention had shifted to the jazz improvisation that skipped along gently in the background? Were they thinking upon each other’s interesting responses to Glitter’s opening remark? A bubbling sound came from the hookah as someone took a pipe full of IWT into their avatar.
‘Why should we do that?’ It was Mellow who voiced the question that had probably formed at the same time in five other minds.
‘For at least three reasons. Firstly, the gardens look better when they are tidy; secondly, there are items left out there that we have lost track of long ago and would be better properly indexed and stored in our respective inventories and third …’ she paused. ‘Third, it would be good kudos for those who tidy it.’
‘I have to acknowledge you have stimulated a slight hint of motivation in me to go out and tidy the gardens, deriving from your first two points.’ Mellow raised her head to look over at Glitter. ‘But the last needs further elaboration.’
‘True.’ Glitter flashed a dictionary definition on to the roof for them all to view without having to do anything more energetic than glance upwards:
ku·dos–noun (used with a singular verb) honour; acclaim; praise: She obtained kudos from everyone for her star-surfing skills.
‘Interesting.’ Eternal Voyager shifted on his couch, showing some alertness for the first time in a week. ‘I wonder can you quantify it?’
‘How do you mean?’
‘Well, like, did she get more kudos for her star-surfing skills than we would get for tidying the garden?’
‘I imagine so, unless it was a most extraordinary remaking of the garden.’ Mellow chipped in.
‘Like, if it had talking caterpillars, moving mazes, magic tunnels and spontaneous parties.’ It had been several years since he had worked on something truly creative, his Descent into Crimson Fires party, but EV was pleased to find that if anything his imagination was as fecund as ever.
‘Well, quite.’ Mellow looked over at him and smiled.
‘You know, EV, you’ve given me an idea.’ Glitter sounded thoughtful.
2. A Small Beginning
An indeterminate number of days later (they let a sun revolve around the sky in this part of the Metaverse but it was hard to keep track of time, as the neo-Goths of number 11 kept stopping it just after sunset), their wall had a new chart. On the left hand side were listed all the regular inhabitants of 13 Bent Street, with room for more to be added. A line divided their names off from the rest of the chart; beside each name was a number: 1.
‘Now,’ Glitter had made herself a little pointer, which was moving a red dot around on her chart. ‘Every day you get a kudos point. You cannot give it to yourself and if you do not give it to someone else, it disappears. But if you are given a kudos point, you get to keep it. Is that clear?’
‘Thusss if no one givesssaway their kudsoss poinss, we all hasss nosssing ass the end of the day?’ Clarion moved her furry feet down from the arm of the couch so he could have a better view of the wall.
‘Right.’
‘But if we all give them to Mellow say, she’ll have five kudos and we’ll have none. Is that it?’ Eternal liked games and was paying attention.
‘That’s it. But then Mellow coul
d give all five to someone. Gradually over the days, the total kudos will rise.’ Glitter seemed to be pleased with their evident curiosity. ‘The point of this chart is that when someone gets a hundred kudos, they get a bonus gold star.’ The wall chart flashed and a cheerful brass band played a triumphant peal of success. Next to her name appeared a smiling gold star.
‘Cool, I want one,’ said Lady Sorrow.
‘Me too.’
Everyone nodded.
‘Great.’ Glitter switched off her pointer and reset the chart. ‘So now what you have to do is earn them.’
‘Hey Mellow.’ Eternal sat up.
‘Yeah?’
‘Trade you, my kudos point for yours.’
‘No, no. It’s not like that,’ interjected Glitter quickly. ‘It’s like, if you do some garden design, then everyone will think, fair play EV, you deserve some kudos points. If you do something really awesome, then you’ll probably get them all.’
‘Ahh, I see. In that case,’ Eternal lifted himself enough to bow gallantly towards Glitter, ‘I allocate my kudos point for today to you, for having set the chart up.’
‘Are you sure? Someone else might do something more deserving?’
‘True, but there’s always tomorrow.’
A considerable time passed, to a day on which Eternal was admiring their chart.
Glitter – two gold stars