Kudos

by Conor Kostick

top one thousand, congratulations, you are an optimate.

  Eternal: Right-O. What shall I wear?

  Willing: ?

  The fact that he was still in the form of an inflatable buoyant dolphin from last night’s games seemed inappropriate for what was potentially a serious meeting and Eternal quickly shifted into his default human male appearance before taking the tag.

  An enormous hall designed on classical lines was the arrival point for the tag. Immense amounts of work had gone in to the soaring columns, which were each subtly distinct in the marble patterns they were built from. Flowers hung in baskets and again, no two were the same, even down to the variety of scents that could be discerned. This was an impressive display of the command of the time of top scripters and designers.

  Essentially, the building was a circular arena with curved seating looking down at a central pit, to where the person speaking would teleport. The ground was translucent and showed the ever-changing kudos chart.

  Willing Joke had the floor, his human body a metallic copper, tall and well muscled.

  ‘Friends. I have a radical motion for you to consider. That from this day we abolish the kudos chart and go do something more interesting instead.’

  Cries and jeers from the audience, whose avatar bodies and clothing design was a tribute to the skills of the Metaverse’s most fashionable creators.

  ‘Hear my case. The fact is you are all socially dead and washed up, you just haven’t realised it yet. The kudos chart is deceiving you due to the huge numbers of people it lists who no longer use kudos. Look at these graphs.’ Willing projected some simple diagrams in to the space above him. ‘The number of people engaging in kudos transactions is falling off rapidly. Despite your recent increase in the amount of kudos issued daily, the absolute figure for kudos exchanges is falling. If we predict the future, based on the current trend, then before the end of the century there will only be five thousand people using kudos, while the rest of the Metaverse ignores you.

  ‘Friends, I appeal to your sense of fashion. Do you want to be the unseemly creature who still has six arms today, a hundred years after the fashion for many limbs is ended? Anticipate the future. Scrap the kudos chart while you still have a measure of credibility and reputation for taste.’

  There was considerable unease at this and even some applause. It warmed Eternal’s sense-of-being to hear it, not least because Willing’s point seemed irrefutable. The other aspect to the argument that appealed to Eternal was that it placed him and not these people at the forefront of fashion, even though his avatar was crude in comparison to theirs.

  ‘Optimates,’ Glitter herself, formerly number one of the kudos chart, took the floor. ‘Let us not forget that Willing is only here because he has the kudos of those who want to destroy our system. He is not presenting his views for any other reason than wilful disruption. Don’t believe he thinks of your reputation.

  ‘The predictions of Willing are flawed for a simple reason. They assume our passivity. But we, who control so much kudos, can find a mechanism to attract the rest of the Metaverse back to the system. And let us not forget that right now ninety percent of people still use kudos.

  ‘I propose we set a date for the greatest party ever. We use our kudos to solicit the best entertainment, the best designers, the grandest landscapes, the most wonderful new music. I propose the creation of,’ she paused, ‘the PLEASUREDOME!’

  As the applause welled up, Eternal sat back in his seat, rather discouraged.

  ‘The entry fee will be a modest twenty kudos and everyone will want to be there. To pay for it all, I propose we each levy ten percent of every optimate’s current value to a Pleasuredome fund.’

  Some cries of consternation led Glitter to raise her hand.

  ‘Don’t worry, it will all flow back to us, as we are the people who have proven our designs and services meet people’s wants. Do we agree?’

  The room indicated its assent on a voting graph, with about eighty percent in favour.

  ‘Very well, I shall make the adjustments.’

  ‘Wait!’ Willing was concentrating on a handheld kudos transaction machine. ‘There, I have distributed my entire kudos stock equally to the bottom hundred thousand people on the chart, most of whom have ceased using it.’

  Willing: Do the same, don’t let them have ten percent of your kudos for their party.

  ‘Then you are not entitled to be here.’

  ‘Farewell friends. Next time I see you, you will be in the giant skips marked “last year’s fashion.”’ Willing disappeared.

  ‘Next time we see you, you will be begging for twenty kudos in order to come to the Pleasuredome.’

  Not a bad comeback thought Eternal, as he dumped his kudos and ported home.

  Willing: Over to you now.

  Eternal: What do you mean?

  Willing: It’s what you are good at. Have an anti-party on the same day for your crowd, for free and you’ll accelerate the process of their disintegration, so long as yours is up to the mark.

  Eternal: Oh neat idea, thanks Willing.

  Willing: You’re welcome.

  7. The Pleasuredome and the Waterfall

  Two parties: one, the Pleasuredome, organised by Glitter; the other, the Waterfall Party, organised by Eternal Voyager. The entire population of the Metaverse took an interest in this epic rivalry, several wars were postponed and whether a fashion leader or a recluse, more or less the entire population of the Metaverse accessed the latest casts to keep abreast of the news. Even the monks of the White Peak Monastery were tempted to make the long walk down the mountain in order to attend one of the parties.

  By all accounts the experience was much harder on Glitter, for she was dogged by constant demands for kudos from those she was working with. Could she have silverwork by Feather Testament? That would be five thousand kudos. Were Heimskringla willing to play for two hours? That would be ten thousands kudos. The scripters, artists, and designers were all very much aware of the battle and made the most of the demand for their services. A second extraordinary levy had been made of the optimates, but even this had not been enough. In a secret decision, promptly leaked to the Free From Kudos Society, the optimates had voted to create an extra million kudos, specifically for their party.

  The consequences of this invention should probably have been predicted. Not only did it lead to an upsurge of membership of the Free From Kudos Society by those now disillusioned with the whole concept of kudos, but the artists and scripters working in the Pleasuredome immediately increased their demands. Throughout the vast hemispherical structure half-completed play areas stood empty while Glitter, full of furious energy, harangued, wheedled, pleaded and stormed. She was near to nervous exhaustion, although that was not visible to those who bartered their time and skill with her for a share of the million kudos.

  By contrast, the workload on Eternal Voyager was relatively light, for he was working with volunteers who might not have been the most celebrated in the Metaverse, but they were fervent with a sense of purpose and a willingness to work hard. Fifty avatars were concentrating on the basic structure of the party: an enormous cliff.

  ‘The spirit of ascension is so much better for a party than a descent, don’t you think?’ Eternal was sharing a little fluffy cloud with Angel, who squeezed his hand with enthusiasm.

  ‘Definitely.’

  In front of them a waterfall was flowing up from a blue pool, it poured upwards to the great dance platform, a mile above the ground, from where it burst into the heavens, like a shimmering ever-present display of fireworks. If you entered the pool and allowed the current to take you upstream, it brought you past hundreds of cave entrances, each allocated to members of the society to make into a source of entertainment. Some were just pleasant rooms, dedicated to a particular form of music, in which you could simply relax and absorb the sights and sounds. Others demanded more involvement from the party-goer, ranging from participation in discussion groups to a variety of sports and
battles, plus of course, the full gamut of romantic scenarios.

  Having resisted the temptation to step out of the flow of water, the ascending avatar reached the top of the massive cascade into the heavens at which point the party-goer was gently dropped onto the enormous ballroom where the main bands and DJs would be playing. The sun had been halted just as a pink glow appeared at the edge of the platform; on the opposite side a full moon hung in a violet sky.

  ‘Simple is best here, I think.’ Eternal stepped off the cloud and offered his hand to Angel.

  ‘I think so too.’

  They walked together, hand in hand, across the silvered dance floor. From time to time they would stop to admire the scintillating rainbow colours that shone in the mist that surrounded the central column of water.

  ‘Did you work on that?’ asked Angel.

  ‘Not really, it’s all natural. Once you get the sun and the waterfall in the right position, it does that of its own accord.’

  ‘It’s beautiful.’

  ‘I was thinking of putting your couches here, for the view.’

  ‘Good idea.’

  With a distant expression on her face, Angel began working, taking furniture from her Metaspace and adjusting it to fit on the platform.

  ‘Slightly less purple, I think,’ she muttered to herself.

  After a while, she looked across at Eternal, whose expression was thoughtful.

  ‘Handling lots of calls?’

  ‘Not really. Sol and