Craving Redemption

by Nicole Jacquelyn

  While I sat staring at the screen, I heard the sounds move to the hallway, and I froze in terror as they came closer. Just then, another text came through, and I almost dropped the phone from my shaking hands as I checked it.

  “Where are you?”

  The voices came into my parents’ room and started knocking as I slowly pushed the reply button and typed a message back. “There’s some1 in the house”. I tried to listen closely to the voices on the other side of the wall, but my mind was racing so quickly I couldn’t interpret what they were saying. I started rocking again, my hand in my hair, but the movements were jerky and short as I tried to be as silent as possible.

  The voices in the room grew louder after my text, and I started hyperventilating when I realized that one of the words they were using was my name.

  Still, I said nothing. I just waited; staring at my phone like it was my last link to sanity.

  The pounding came closer and closer as I tried to slow my breathing, and eventually it stopped right above the little sliding door of my hiding place. Someone called out, and I whimpered quietly in the back of my throat as the door of the crawlspace slowly slid open.

  I watched in terror as the boxes closest to the door were moved out of the way, slowly dismantling the only thing that had kept me safe. I kept my eyes on the opening and the arms reaching inside as I used my heels to push myself tightly against the wall, curling into myself. I vaguely registered when Asa’s voice filtered into the space, but I couldn’t understand why I was hearing him.

  Man, it smells like piss in here. You sure she said the crawlspace? It just looks like a bunch of Christmas shit.

  She’s there. Keep going.

  Fuck, man. If she’s in here then why the fuck isn’t she saying anything?

  A dark haired man slid the last of the boxes out of the storage, and once he had a clear view I saw the whites of his eyes as they opened wide in surprise. I couldn’t really see his face, his back was to the light, but I could hear the glee in his voice as he called out behind him, “Yup! She’s here!” before crawling further inside. When he reached me and lifted his arm as if to pull me forward, I kicked out with one of my heels, smashing it into his chin like a karate master.

  “What the fuck?” he yelled at me, causing me to retreat back into my corner as he scrambled back out the door. “Bitch just kicked me in the face!”

  “What the fuck did you do?” a voice I recognized roared.

  In the next second, broad shoulders wedged themselves through the door, and a familiar face was gazing at me in the sliver of light coming through the small gap between his chest and the doorway.

  “Hey, Sugar. You okay in here?” he asked me gently as his eyes ran up and down my body as if checking for himself.

  I wanted to answer him. I’d been waiting so long for him to come get me, but once the moment was there, I was still frozen in my little corner, silent and unable to move. It wasn’t safe out there. I knew that now. It wasn’t safe in my house, it wasn’t safe anywhere. If I moved, they could find me, whoever those men were. I was too afraid to do anything but stare at him.

  “Callie, sweetheart, I can’t get in there. I’m too fuckin’ big.” He watched me closely as I silently twirled my hand round and round in my hair. “You’re gonna have to come to me, baby.”

  I jerked my head once and began rocking again, the nervous habit forcing my body back and forth as he watched, unable to reach me.

  “Calliope, I’m not gonna let anything hurt you, but we gotta get out of here. There’s still crime scene tape on the door—” he stopped when I flinched at his words.

  He was leaning on one elbow, and the arm that had been resting on the floor reached up into his shirt pocket and pulled out a cell phone. I watched in confusion as he typed something out on it and then set it back in his pocket. I jumped when my own phone went off in my hand. I looked between the phone and him a couple times before reading the text. “You gotta come out of here. I promise I won’t let anything happen. Come to me.”

  The text message brought everything back together and my eyes snapped up to his. It was as if the tornado in my mind had come to a complete stop and left one single thing undisturbed. One thing to focus on. One thing to count on. This was the man I’d been waiting for. This was the man that had saved me. Grease. Asa.

  I slowly crawled toward him, my knuckles scratching on the unfinished floor because I refused to let go of my phone. But he didn’t move out of the way so I could climb out of the storage. When I reached him, he gently lifted his hand and slid it across my cheek and behind my head, pulling me to him so my face was resting against his neck. I scooted my knees under my body and knelt on the floor, letting him soothe me with whispered promises and a gentle hand running through my hair.

  I’m not sure how long we sat there, but eventually a voice outside our cocoon told us we needed to go. Asa pulled back and started scooting his big body out the door, moving his hand from resting on the floor to grip my thigh, never severing the connection between us. When he was mostly out the door and on his feet, he slid his hand up my torso and down my arm, never once letting go, in order to grip my hand tightly.

  “Okay, baby. Almost there—come on out,” he told me gently, watching my face closely.

  I scooted to the doorway, wincing as the waning sunlight coming through the windows hit my eyes. I closed them tight, shuddering as I tried to make my way out. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t make myself get out of the space. Fear slammed into me with the power of a freight train, and I whimpered as once again I was unable to make my limbs move. My hand went limp in his, but before I could scoot back into my safe haven, Asa had made a growling noise in his throat and grabbed a hold of me under my arms, lifting me like a child.

  I twisted once, trying to pull away, before he jerked me to his chest and put his mouth to my ear.

  “You’re okay, sweetheart. You’re okay. Just hold on, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you,” he told me over and over again until it finally pierced the paralyzing fear in my head. I wrapped my body around him like a monkey, and he wrapped his arms under my thighs to support me, finally leaving us in a somewhat comfortable position.

  I was holding on to him as he turned to leave, when another voice spoke up in the room, jolting me from the little comfort I was feeling.

  “Man, she’s gonna fuck up your leathers. Girl stinks to high heaven,” the voice warned, instantly reminding me that I had peed my pants and causing me to let go of Asa as I tried to scramble off him. I started crying again, like a baby, and for one minute I wasn’t thinking about how very afraid I was.

  “Shut the fuck up, Tommy,” Asa growled in a voice I hadn’t heard him use before, his chest expanding as one of his arms wrapped around my back to hold me in place. “She’s fuckin’ fine where she’s at.”

  He walked out of the room as I quietly cried and buried my face in his neck, afraid to see the hallway where I’d left my mom. He walked me straight through my room and into the connecting bathroom without stopping, pausing only once to switch on the light and shut the door before he loosened his arms around me. He let go completely and set me on my feet, but I was too embarrassed to look at his face as he studied me, instead watching my brightly polished toes.

  “Hey, pretty girl, look at me, yeah?” he mumbled gently, running his hand up the side of my face and into the hair by my ear, gripping it so he could tilt my face up. “You ain’t got nothing to be embarrassed about. Anybody’d stink after being stuck in a fucking storage closet for eleven hours. Coulda been worse, baby, what if you’d shit your pants?” he asked with a smile, trying to tease me.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, my voice raw from disuse.

  “Fuck that, Callie.” His grip tightened in my hair. “Nothing for you to be sorry about. You coulda been covered in shit and vomit and I still woulda carried you outta there. I got you, Sugar, nothing’s gonna change that.”

  He waited until I nodded, acknowledging his words
, and looked around my bathroom. “You need to take a shower and get dressed. Can’t get on my bike the way you are,” he informed me, embarrassing me again before clarifying, “shorts and a tank top ain’t gonna work. You want me to grab you some clothes?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “Okay, you get in and I’ll bring them to you,” he mumbled into my forehead, kissing me there before letting go and walking out.

  I stood there for a second, watching him leave, as my body started to shake. Once he was out of the room and the door was closed, I walked to the shower and turned it on, my hands trembling so badly that I didn’t even worry about trying to change the temperature. I got undressed and climbed in, trying to blank my mind as I quickly washed off, but it wasn’t long before the memories assaulted me and I lost all feeling in my legs, sliding to the shower floor in a heap.

  Chapter 10

  Grease

  She was taking a long-ass time in the shower.

  I went through her shit, finding all sorts of sexy underwear that I hadn’t expected, and finally picked the least appealing ones for her to wear. She was a mess, and I didn’t want to be thinking about how badly I wanted to see her wearing a lacy pink pair of boyshorts with little half-moons of her ass hanging out the bottom—but I was twenty years old; most of the time I was thinking with my dick. I grabbed a bra, hoodie, and some jeans and set them on the bathroom counter, thinking I should probably say something, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to scare her any more than she already was by letting her know I was in the bathroom while she was showering.

  Fuck, but I had no idea what I was going to do with her. I couldn’t be her bodyguard, I didn’t fucking live anywhere near her—but I couldn’t just leave her, either. It was my shit—Aces shit—that got her into this mess and I had to find a way to get her out of it. I found a messenger bag full of school shit, reminding me how young she was, and dumped it onto her bed. Ignoring the pencils and assorted mess, I started stuffing a couple changes of clothes into the bag. I had no idea what she’d need, but she wasn’t going to be able to come back, so I figured anything would help.

  Dragon and Tommy were standing by the door talking quietly, but I ignored them as I looked around her room, trying to decide if she’d need anything else. As I grabbed the charger for her phone and her iPod off the nightstand, Dragon finally raised his voice.

  “Grease, man, what’s your plan? We’re fuckin’ sittin’ ducks here.”

  “Not sure. Gonna take her to her grandmother’s and figure it out from there. Just need to get her outta this fuckin’ house first,” I answered him distractedly.

  “This ain’t our problem, man. We can just fuckin’ drop her off—”

  I cut him off, turning my head in his direction as anger made my muscles tighten. “It is my fuckin’ problem. You’re too pussy to have my back, then fuckin’ kick bricks.”

  He stared at me for a moment then nodded once, “Always have your back, brother.”

  Tommy usually kept to himself, never getting in the middle of arguments and steering clear of drama, but for once he spoke up, ending the stare down between us. “Brother, she’s been in there a long-ass time. Need to get outta here—you better go check on her,” he advised, being the sound of reason for the first time since I’d known him.

  I’d been trying to give her some time to herself, but obviously I’d waited too long, because when I opened the door and called her name she didn’t answer me. I turned and tossed the bag in my hand to Dragon and went in the bathroom, leaving the door cracked a bit as I made my way to the shower. I said her name a few times but she never answered me or made a sound, and I could feel my heart starting to beat a little harder as I got to the shower and drew open the curtain.

  She was on the floor of the shower, her knees raised to her chin, giving me a glimpse of her ass and hair between her legs that I quickly averted my eyes from. Her hair was a scraggly mess around her shoulders, only half wet, and as I pulled the curtain wider to shut off the cold water pouring down on her, she raised her head to look at me.

  The look on her face was like nothing I’d ever seen before.

  I knew a lot of men who could keep their emotions in check. Their faces showed no indication of what they were thinking or feeling; it was impossible to read them. Shit, I was one of those men, but this was different.

  Her face reminded me of that—no emotion, completely clear. But her pretty face wasn’t just completely free of emotion; it was like a blank slate.

  It was … nothing, like she was completely oblivious to the world around her.

  I turned the water off and crouched in front of her, waiting to see if she’d acknowledge me, but she just sat there not moving—not even shivering. Grabbing a towel off the rack, I pulled her up, swallowing hard as she stood up completely unconcerned with her nakedness. Fuck, she was built like a goddamn pinup and I was having a hard time keeping my eyes off her tits as I wrapped the towel around her.

  I wasn’t turned on, I’m not that much of a dick, but she was beautiful and naked and I’m a man. It was inevitable that I’d take a good look.

  I took her out of the shower and dried her off while she stood there quietly, but thankfully she moved her arms and legs to help me get her dressed. Taking a bra off was something I’d mastered at sixteen, but getting one on was a hell of a lot harder. I felt like I was squeezing the circulation out of her tits as I wrapped it around her chest, but she didn’t make one noise in complaint, so I soldiered on and finally got her shit together.

  It only took about ten minutes from beginning to end, but by the time I was finished I could feel sweat soaking the armpits of my t-shirt. Jesus Christ. I was not cut out to be nursemaid to some comatose girl—but I couldn’t stop myself. I needed to take care of her.

  She was mine—and goddamn if I could change that.

  I needed to get my fucking head checked.

  Dragon called through the opening of the door, and my chest expanded as if I could block Callie from view if I could just make myself big enough. I didn’t want that fucker to see her like this, even if she was dressed. It was the most raw I’d ever seen a person, and I was sure as shit going to protect that. Even from a brother.

  “Grease, we gotta go. Been here for half an hour already—you’re fuckin’ pushin’ it,” he grumbled.

  Callie gave a start when Dragon spoke, and when my gaze snapped to hers, she was back. She didn’t say anything, but she was finally seeing me.

  “Gimme a second, man,” I called back to him, never looking away from her face. “Gotta put up her hair and we’ll be out. Close the fuckin’ door.”

  The door slammed shut and Callie flinched, so I leaned down and kissed between her eyebrows. I wasn’t sure how to comfort someone—it’d been a long time since my mom died—but I knew that whatever I was doing helped, because as soon as my lips met her head she sagged into me.

  I grabbed a brush and ran it through her snarled hair, but I didn’t have time to get the tangles out, so I just pulled it back into a ponytail as it was. It looked like shit, but it’d keep it out of her face on the bike and that was all that mattered. I moved to walk toward the door, but she wrapped her arms around me like she was afraid to let me go, so instead, I grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her up. Fuck, I was going to be carrying her to the john when I had to take a piss.

  I nodded at the boys and headed to the hallway when she whispered in my ear that she needed something from her mom’s room. It was the first time she’d really spoken to me since I’d gotten there, so I wasn’t about to remind her we needed to get the hell out of dodge. I probably would’ve strapped a fucking futon to the back of my bike if that’s what she’d asked for.

  When we got to her parents’ room, she stopped breathing, and I had to rub my hand up and down her back for a few moments before she dropped her legs and started toward the dresser. Sitting on top was a generic jewelry box, and when she reached it, she almost knocked it to the floor because her hands were
shaking so badly. She reached in and grabbed something I couldn’t see before racing back to me. She was jumpy as shit—not that I could blame her. She gave me whatever she was holding and turned around so her back was facing me. It took a minute for me to figure out what the hell she was doing.

  She’d dropped a thin gold chain with two pendants on it into my hand. One was a St. Christopher medal, and the other a tiny gold cross. She stood there quietly as I wrapped it around her neck and fumbled with the tiny-ass clasp. That shit was not made for my bear paw hands, but I eventually got it on her.

  She spun around as soon as I was finished and climbed back up into my arms—was she fucking joking? But fuck if I cared. I couldn’t lie and say that I didn’t want her there. She was a tiny little thing, and the way she molded to my body with her face in my neck was not anything I’d ever get tired of.

  We made our way through the house, passing the bloodstains in the upstairs hallway and the entryway as I held her face against my neck, ensuring she wouldn’t look. She wasn’t moving, just quietly breathing into my throat, but I didn’t want to take any chances that she’d see the fucking huge puddles of blood that covered the floor. I didn’t want her to go blank again.

  When we got to my bike, I tried to figure out a way to make her get down, but I shouldn’t have worried. The minute I told her I was taking her to see her Gram, she completely let go of me, the weight shift almost making me drop her before I could set her on her feet. I was in the process of changing out my smelly t-shirt for a clean one in my saddlebags when she spoke up.