Ben Braver and the Incredible Exploding Kid

by Marcus Emerson

  ‘No!’ I said sternly, and then I made it perfectly clear that I wasn’t joking.

  The whole room went silent.

  ‘What?’ Millie’s voice shook as she fidgeted uncomfortably. ‘I’m, um … I’m sorry you don’t like it, but I spent a lot of time on this.’

  ‘Yeah, well, it’s ugly,’ I said, ‘and I hate everything about it!’

  Everyone was like, ‘Whoa…’

  Millie’s voice was lost in her throat as she held back tears. Then she dropped the mic and ran out of the room.

  Coach Lindsay went after her.

  Headmaster Archer ordered the Braver Ravers to take the float away, and then he tried to get the party started again, but it was too late.

  It was already ruined.

  And I was the one who ruined it.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Late February.

  The rest of the month was awful.

  Millie and the Braver Ravers hated me – no surprise there.

  Arnold wouldn’t stop adding to my list of chores for him – one of which was catching up on Dexter’s homework that he had failed to turn in first semester. I was currently working on his report about the history of the Seven Keys.

  I was in the library, at a table covered in books, when Noah and Penny showed up.

  ‘Where’s Jordan?’ I asked.

  ‘It’s over ten degrees outside,’ Penny said. ‘So he’s tanning in the courtyard.’

  ‘But … he’s invisible,’ I said.

  ‘I know, right?’ Penny sighed.

  ‘Dude, take a break,’ Noah said. ‘Come and eat lunch with us.’

  I pulled out a Pop-Tart and some juice. ‘I’m good.’

  ‘Why are you doing this?’ Penny asked, fidgeting absently with the open books that surrounded me. ‘Why are you letting them push you around?’

  ‘Because my secret might make a lot of kids mad,’ I said. ‘Because I deserve it for lying and cheating? Because I’m a bad friend? Because I won’t remember any of this once my mind gets wiped anyway? I don’t know, pick one.’

  ‘I don’t think anyone’ll even care that you don’t have a power,’ Noah said. ‘It’s not like you faked saving the school last year. That was real.’

  Penny suddenly picked up one of the books, studying it carefully. ‘Wait, I thought you were doing Dexter’s homework,’ she said, confused. ‘Did you reopen the case of Fifteen without us?’

  The case of Fifteen?

  The mystery kid from orientation day?

  What’s that got to do with—?

  Penny slid the open book in front of me.

  There was a picture of Richard Kepler and his wife, Mary, on their wedding day. Richard was one of the original Seven Keys, but I didn’t see how that connected with Fifteen.

  ‘What’re you talking about?’ I said.

  Penny took my pen and drew on the picture, giving Mary a Bride of Frankenstein beehive, and my jaw dropped.

  ‘What the what?’ I whispered. ‘Kepler’s brother and his wife … They’re Fifteen’s parents? That means he’s also Headmaster Kepler’s nephew! Then Fifteen was a descendant, so why wasn’t he in the yearbooks?’

  ‘Are they still around? Maybe we can just call them and ask,’ Penny said, holding up her phone.

  I skimmed the page. ‘No, it says they disappeared a month after the school opened.’

  ‘Oh, I didn’t know that,’ Penny said.

  ‘Me neither,’ Noah said. ‘They don’t teach us what happened to the Seven Keys after the academy opened. Everything we know about them is from before that.’

  ‘Maybe he disappeared like his parents?’ I said, racking my brain for the answer.

  ‘Maybe he just never got a power,’ Penny said.

  ‘Guh!’ I grunted. ‘I wish the Kepler Cave wasn’t caved in! I bet all the answers are down there!’

  Penny set her phone on the table, and the universe slapped me across the face.

  How could I have been so stupid?

  ‘The Kepler Cave’s been in Penny’s pocket the whole time!’ I said, snatching her phone off the table. ‘All we need to do is print those pictures and piece them together like a giant puzzle!’

  ‘I can print these here!’ Penny said.

  ‘No! If this is some kind of cover-up, then we need to do it secretly so nobody knows. We need to print them online.’

  ‘Are we reopening this case?’ Noah asked.

  ‘Maybe,’ I said, trying not to get my hopes up. ‘I just wanna know who this kid is now.’

  Fifteen was probably a nobody.

  I almost didn’t care.

  But at least it would take my mind off everything else.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  Early March.

  I was just past the edge of the forest on the first warm day of the year.

  Dexter had told me to meet him out there. Apparently, his sister, Darla, was cashing in on Arnold’s deal and requested my presence for her Survivalist Club.

  That meant she knew my secret, too.

  Dexter was waiting for me, digging at his belly button and smelling his finger. ‘Put these on,’ he said, throwing a bag at my feet.

  ‘What is it?’ I asked.

  ‘Darla wanted you to wear that.’

  ‘Fine,’ I sighed.

  ‘Oh,’ Dexter said, holding up a pair of scissors. ‘There’s one more thing Darla requested …’

  I gulped.

  Five minutes later, I walked out to a small clearing sporting a freshly cut mohawk and a bright orange jumpsuit that made it look like I just escaped from prison.

  A white target was painted on my chest.

  Probably not a good thing.

  Half a dozen kids, each holding a paintball gun and wearing camouflage, listened as Darla spoke.

  ‘… We’ve practised all year for this, cadets. Today, we hunt the greatest game of all: man.’

  She was talking about me.

  ‘And can you believe he volunteered for this? Ben was so brave last year, and he wants us to be brave just like him. He’s leading by example – a truly inspiring hero.’

  When her cadets noticed me, they clapped.

  ‘This is super cool of you,’ one said. ‘Darla told us your psychokinetic ability keeps you from getting hurt.’

  ‘Yup,’ was all I said.

  Darla pointed at my hair. ‘What’s with the … ?’ And then she pointed at my clothes. ‘And the … ?’

  Dexter’s donkey-laugh came from the trees.

  He lied about the clothes!

  And the mohawk!

  ‘Let’s go already!’ a girl in the back growled. I caught a glimpse of her. She had a beanie on her head and a skull painted on her face.

  I leaned forward to get a better look, but she kept moving, making sure the others blocked my view.

  The girl in the back shouted again. ‘Let’s do this! Better start running, Braver!’

  I knew that voice.

  I’d know it anywhere, no matter how hard she tried disguising it.

  ‘… Penny?’

  ‘Don’t be like that!’ I said. ‘You knew it was me cuz you said my last name!’

  Penny shrugged, like, ‘Yeah, ya got me.’

  ‘You’re gonna hunt me, too?’

  ‘Dude, when will I get the chance to hunt a human being ever again? Besides … they’re just paintballs.’

  She aimed her gun at my chest and pulled the trigger.

  THOOMP!

  I went down like a twelve-year-old kid getting shot at point-blank range with a paintball gun.

  ‘Oh, that looked like it hurt,’ Penny said. ‘Do these things hurt?’

  Darla knelt by my side and showed me a stopwatch that was counting down from sixty seconds.

  ‘What’s that?’ I wheezed.

  Her lips curled into a smile. ‘Your head start.’

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  An hour later I was covered head to toe in pine needles and paint, marching the gauntlet
of staring kids in the backyard of the school.

  About five minutes into the human-hunting expedition, I had gotten snared by one of Darla’s booby traps. I spent the rest of the time hanging upside down as her sociopathic club used me as target practice.

  Getting pelted by a thousand paintballs from three metres away wasn’t my idea of a good time.

  I was fed up.

  After Penny helped me down from the trap, I went straight to my room, grabbed my backpack, and headed outside to confront Arnold and his goons.

  I planted my feet firmly in front of them.

  ‘Nice mohawk,’ Vic said.

  ‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘I mean … This all needs to stop.’

  ‘But we’re just getting started,’ Arnold said.

  I bit my lip. ‘I’m here to offer you a trade.’

  Arnold paused, studying me with his evil eyes. ‘I’m listening …’

  I unzipped my bag and pulled out my most treasured item, the one I had worked all summer to buy – the only thing I had bought with the money from mowing lawns.

  It was a comic, but not just any comic.

  ‘I mowed two hundred lawns in three months, working through hundreds of popped blisters, an almost endless sunburn, two instances of heat exhaustion, one heatstroke, and a visit to the ER to make enough bread to buy this,’ I said, presenting the comic to my worst enemy. ‘The Incredible Hulk #181, first appearance of Wolverine. Complete with hard plastic protective shell. It is my very favourite comic.’

  Arnold took my precious in his fingers. ‘I’m interested. What’s your price?’

  ‘You leave me alone. And you keep your silence about my … secret.’

  Arnold thought for a moment, and then he finally spoke. ‘I don’t want this. I’m not an evil villain from a spy movie – I don’t want money or rare pieces of art. I want power, and I already have that with you.’ My plan kinda hit a wall when he said that.

  ‘Hold up,’ Vic said, taking the comic from Arnold.

  She popped the top off the plastic shell.

  What was she doing?

  She flipped it over, letting the book fall into her hands. And then she opened it to read the fine print.

  ‘Dude, you got ripped off!’ she said. ‘This isn’t the original! It’s a reprint! It’s not even worth the paper it’s printed on!’

  She tossed the book back at me, pages flopping.

  ‘What?’ I said, skimming the fine print. ‘No, that’s not … I worked all summer for this!’

  My heart pounded, and my face got hot.

  I was freaking out.

  ‘I had to spend the night in the hospital!’ I took a deep breath. ‘I almost died for this book!’

  Arnold laughed. ‘Go get us brownies from the café and I’ll forgive you for stepping out of line, but make sure mine doesn’t have nuts. I hate nuts.’

  ‘Get your own brownies!’ I screamed, ripping my comic in half and throwing it at Arnold.

  Vic gasped. ‘Whoa, I was just kidding! That wasn’t a reprint!’

  Dexter honked because it was soooo hilarious.

  Other kids looked to see what all the fuss was about.

  And then something in my brain space snapped.

  I dug into my backpack and grabbed Dexter’s homework, laughing like a maniac as I ripped it to shreds. ‘Not so funny now, is it?’

  Dexter dived at me, his skin sizzling as he powered up. He grabbed my backpack with his ice hands.

  At the same time, Vic spread her fingers, aiming them at my face.

  I pushed Dexter in front of me, using him as a shield against Vic’s attack. He went flying but didn’t let go of my bag.

  My backpack burst open, and everything inside flew out.

  None of my friends were there to save me.

  No teachers, either.

  Nobody was gonna bail me out this time.

  Once Dexter got to his feet, I’d be dead meat.

  He rose, steam radiating from his body as his hollow eye sockets stared darkness at me.

  His fists clenched. His teeth clenched. His butt clenched.

  Everything clenched.

  It was entirely possible that I was about to die.

  But it wasn’t Dexter who finished me off.

  It was Vic.

  ‘Holy cats!’ she screeched from behind me.

  When I turned around, my heart stopped.

  She was looking at the stat cards I had drawn in my sketchbook.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  ‘OMG, you guys! Ben created stats for us!’ Vic shouted at the top of her flippin’ lungs.

  Students gathered as she paged through my sketchbook, reading my notes out loud.

  ‘Toby’s attack is only a four, but he gets bonus points if his feet stink!’

  Everyone laughed as Vic tore the paper out and tossed it over her shoulder.

  ‘Stop!’ I said, trying to grab my sketchbook, but she levitated just out of my reach.

  ‘George’s strength is that he’s part wolf, but his weakness is … a tummy rub?’

  She let George’s page fall to the grass.

  ‘Awww, you guys, did you know Penny’s strength is that she’s SOOO pretty?’ Vic stopped and squinted at Penny’s card. ‘HE WROTE “BRAVER” AS HER LAST NAME AND THEN SCRIBBLED IT OUT!’

  ‘Stop it!’ I shouted again, but it was useless.

  ‘Stay away from Liam’s face because he’s got nuclear dog breath! Ben marked that as a strength!’

  Liam was in the crowd.

  Liam wasn’t laughing.

  ‘Devin’s weakness is that she needs to be liked because she thinks she’s … ugly.’ Vic paused. ‘Whoa, dude.’

  The laughter turned to angry whispers as Vic went down the list.

  ‘Dexter’s IQ is his weakness … Aiden’s too shallow to let anything mess up his hair … Emily stinks after gym … Ryan’s sensitive about being fat … Anna will do anything for a dollar … And Millie’s just obsessed …’

  My stat cards were never supposed to be seen by anyone other than me, and they sounded terrible when someone else read them out loud.

  My own notes were making me sick.

  ‘What the heck is wrong with you?’ Vic said, disgusted, and then she went off. ‘You’re judging all of us when you don’t even …’

  Vic threw down the sketchbook and raised me off the ground with her.

  I kicked wildly, but it didn’t do anything. I was stuck in the air in front of a couple of dozen kids who hated me.

  ‘Put me down!’ I shouted.

  ‘Tell everybody the truth!’ Vic said.

  Arnold watched from the side, satisfied and smiling.

  Vic pulled at my arms like she did in the alley, bending my bones the wrong way. I swear I could hear them cracking.

  ‘Put me down!’ I said again, tears welling in my eyes.

  ‘Tell them the truth!’ Arnold shouted from the back. I couldn’t take it anymore.

  ‘I don’t have a power!’ I said. ‘I’ve been faking it since I got here!’

  The crowd gasped.

  Vic let me drop.

  I landed in the grass like a lump of meat.

  ‘He’s a poser!’ Arnold said. ‘And he’s taking notes on our weaknesses like he’s better than us!’

  I clutched my poor arms.

  I wanted to defend myself, but I couldn’t.

  I had messed up big-time.

  I started crawling, collecting the torn-out pages of my sketchbook as the crowd broke apart until I was all alone.

  The remarkable Ben Braver.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  By the next day, everyone knew I didn’t have a power, but nobody cared. What they did care about were my stat cards, and they hated me for those instead.

  How’s that for a kick in the teeth?

  Students picked on me the whole time, never letting up, during every class, every break and every meal – picking apart my weaknesses loud enough for the whole world to hear.


  I went from rock star to weirdo-eating-a-giant-tub-of-peanut-butter-alone-in-a-stairwell-after-school, waiting for the hallways to empty out so I could get back to my room without being seen.

  It was the worst.

  But it was all my fault.

  If my parents could see me now, right?

  The door was cracked open when I got back to my room.

  ‘Hello?’ I said, pushing it open, thinking maybe Noah or Jordan just forgot to shut it, but they weren’t there.

  Someone else had been there.

  All my stuff was missing.

  My clothes, my books, my comics.

  Everything.

  And the window was open.

  I looked outside and saw my things in the grass three storeys down.

  Above my bed, there was writing on the wall.

  ‘Ben Braver’s weakness: judgemental jerk.’

  It was about 9 p.m., and I was sitting outside with Brock and all my stuff. Noah, Penny and Jordan were with me, too.

  The sky was all clouds. Good, because I didn’t need the North Star to see me like this.

  My friends had spent their night getting all my stuff off the grass and into neat piles next to the statue.

  ‘Kids can be twerps,’ Penny said, trying to get me to talk.

  ‘I bet it was Dexter,’ Jordan said.

  ‘It could’ve been anyone,’ Noah said.

  ‘It wasn’t me!’ Jordan said.

  ‘Of course it wasn’t you! It wasn’t any of us!’ Penny said.

  ‘Just sayin’,’ Jordan said.

  It was like that all night.

  Quiet, and then some yelling, and then quiet again.

  They just didn’t know what to say.

  ‘I never should’ve made stat cards,’ I said.

  ‘Stat cards are fine,’ Penny said. ‘I just don’t think you understand what a weakness is.’

  ‘I wasn’t trying to judge them.’

  ‘I know you didn’t mean to,’ Penny said, ‘but you kind of did.’

  Coach Lindsay walked up with an old hotel dolly from when the school was still a ski lodge.

  ‘Kids, can I have a moment with Ben?’ he asked.