Witchslapped in Westerham

by Dionne Lister

  Dana had started this, but I had to finish it.

  Challenge accepted.

  Chapter 14

  The next morning didn’t exactly dawn brightly. The satisfying thrum of pelting rain hitting the roof had me wriggling deeper into my covers. I had no idea what time it was because my phone was off and who knew where. Having it near me was not an option. Every time I looked at it, I thought of Dana watching and listening. Having it turned off wasn’t good enough. I shuddered.

  My jaws opened wide in a yawn. I imagined I might look like a lion roaring, but I probably looked more like a cranky hippopotamus. Staying in bed was more tempting than a bath full of Baci chocolate. Actually, no it wasn’t, but since no one was offering me Baci, staying in bed was a good idea. What was there to get up for? When I left this room and went downstairs, I’d be sad and worried because Angelica and James wouldn’t be back from averting a London tea disaster, and then I’d be on edge until they returned.

  A flash of light flickered through the narrow gap between the shutters and the edge of my dormer window. “One one thousand, two one thousand.” An ear-splitting crack, followed by thunder that could only be described as a hangry giant’s tummy rumbling, shook the house. Okay, that might have been an exaggeration. Maybe it was just my brain that shook. That was not the omen I wanted today. I huffed. Argh, what was the use? My brain was definitely awake, and if I stayed here, it would only babble more stupidity.

  I threw the covers off and slid out of bed. Today called for grumpy-person lazy clothes. On went the light-grey tracksuit pants, a black long-sleeved T-shirt, and Ugg boots. Yes, I knew it was summer, if barely, but England didn’t really know what summer was half the time. Today was definitely one of those times.

  I shuffled downstairs and to the kitchen. My coffee had almost finished dispensing when Olivia walked in. “Hey, Lil. How’d you sleep?”

  “Took a while to nod off, but once I was there, I owned it. I woke up about fifteen minutes ago.” I yawned as proof, which made Olivia yawn. I grinned because it amused me. Lately, things had been stressful and depressing, so I was going to appreciate anything even remotely silly. “I just had a thought. Do you reckon that smiles and yawns are like a virus or something?”

  She screwed up her face. “What?”

  “Well, they’re contagious.” I smirked.

  “Argh! It’s too early for bad jokes. Hurry up and grab your coffee.”

  My heart did a skippy, racy thing for a few beats. “Do you have news?”

  She smiled. “No. It’s just, if you’re drinking your coffee, you can’t talk crap.”

  I rolled my eyes in fake annoyance. “You obviously have no idea how awesome I am. Excuse me while I go and sit with someone who appreciates my humour.” I grabbed my coffee, tossed my head back, and sauntered past her and into the sitting room where an armchair by the fireplace called my name, but not literally.

  Olivia followed me in. “I take it you’re the one who appreciates you?”

  “Yep.” I grinned. “But if you want to sit with me, I’ll allow it.”

  She laughed. “You’re a nut.”

  “It’s one of my best qualities.” I waggled my eyebrows.

  Olivia sat in the other chair, and even though the fireplace wasn’t lit, it was still cosy to be near it. The atmosphere of another more elegant era permeated from its stone mantle and pretty tiles.

  I took a generous sip of my coffee, then hugged the mug to my chest and mumbled the bubble-of-silence spell. I was quite proud of myself for remembering. There was no room for witching badly with Dana out for blood. “Did they call at all?”

  “No. The walkie-talkie’s been quiet the whole time. You don’t think they’re in danger, do you?”

  “Yes, I do. We’re all in danger until Witchface is put away, but I’m pretty confident James and Angelica can handle themselves. I’m worried, but I’m trying not to obsess about it. It won’t help.” I frowned. There was no way around it: today was going to suck.

  “What about Beren? Do you think he’s okay?” She worried her bottom lip with her teeth.

  “I’m sure he’s fine. Out of everyone, he’s the safest because Dana has him in her pocket, and he doesn’t have as much influence at the PIB now that Angelica’s not there. He poses little threat. Hmm, you know… you could call or text him, just ask how he’s going. You could just say you hadn’t seen him for a while, maybe find out in a super subtle way what’s going on at the PIB.”

  Her gorgeous mass of dark, tightly coiled curls was out today, and she grabbed a section and twirled it around her finger. “I don't know. Won’t he be suspicious about why I’m calling?”

  “I don’t think so. You could always say you’re worried about me, that I’ve been moping about since I was kicked out of the PIB, or you could admit to him that you’re totally in love with him and wanted to hear his voice.” I snorted.

  She grabbed the cushion from her chair and chucked it at me, narrowly missing my head. “Oh, you would have been in big trouble if you’d hit my coffee.”

  “But I didn’t.”

  “Will you call him? We could do with the extra information. You want to be a police officer and work for the PIB. Why not start practicing the skills you’ll need for covert operations?”

  “I hardly think I’ll be involved in anything like that. I’m more into the research and solving puzzles part of it.” She released the curl, and it boinged up, then settled along her neck.

  “Pleeease. You know you want to.” I gave her my best pleading pouty face.

  She rolled her eyes. “Fine, but only because you begged.”

  Before she called him, there was something I had to do.

  “I’m going to put a mind-protection spell on you, so he can’t tell what you’re really thinking. Normally it would be hard to read a mind from far away, but I want to make sure. He may wonder why, but he can’t outright ask you without revealing he’s been snooping. Plus, he’s not allowed to do that unless it’s for an investigation.”

  “But Beren’s a by-the-book kind of guy, isn’t he?”

  “Yes, and he’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, but if he’s operating on Dana’s implanted agenda….”

  “Fair enough.”

  “It won’t hurt. You’ll just feel a bit of warmth around your scalp… unless I cut into part of your brain; then you’ll know it.” I clenched my teeth to keep from laughing. Angelica’s morbid sense of humour must be rubbing off on me.

  Her face fell, and she shook her head vigorously. “No freaking way! There’s no way you’re getting near my brain with your magic.” She leaned back, away from me.

  I snorted. “Just kidding. I’m pretty good at this, and I haven’t lobotomised anyone… yet.”

  “You’re not selling this well, Lily. Do you promise not to hurt me?”

  “Of course. I’d never suggest it if it were dangerous.”

  “Okay, but I’m trusting you. Be careful.”

  “Promise.” I mumbled the thought-protection spell. “Done.”

  Olivia’s face relaxed. “Is that it?”

  “Yep. I’m going to disappear the silence spell, so from now on, act as if I’m not here, and don’t give any information away. If he asks about me, I’m in bed moping, and you have no idea where Angelica is. Don’t even mention James.”

  “Cool. Got it.”

  I took the bubble of silence away, and she went and grabbed her phone, then returned and settled back in her chair.

  She pressed some buttons on her phone and put the phone to her ear. He must have answered because her eyes popped fully open. Her lips parted, but it was a second or two before anything came out. “Ah, hi, Beren. It’s Olivia.” She turned away from me, probably wanting some kind of privacy, but that was as much as she was going to get.

  “Just calling to say hello, also wondered how you were going with all the crime and stuff. I hope you’re okay.” Gah, how I wished I could hear his side of the conversation. I drummed
my fingers on the plush chair arm and my leg bounced up and down.

  “Oh, really. Oh, no! That’s terrible!”

  Oh my God, what was terrible? Talk about torture.

  “Is he all right?” She tucked her legs under herself. Getting comfortable, were we? I grinned. It hadn’t taken her long to get into the conversation. “Yeah, I’ve been okay. I’m a bit worried about Lily, though. She said everyone’s abandoned her. She just mopes around all day.” She tilted her head to the side. “She’s in bed. She hasn’t been sleeping well—nightmares, I think. So I don’t want to bother her. Plus, she’s miserable company at the moment.” She turned to me and stuck out her tongue. I rolled my eyes so hard that I think I strained a muscle. I did have to give it to her—she was an awesome actress. Maybe she’d missed her calling.

  She turned her back to me again and nodded. “Of course. Agreed. So, I was wondering if you’d like to go for coffee or something this week if you’re not too busy.”

  My mouth dropped open. She was so brave. I didn’t expect her to go that far in the hopes of getting information. He was likely to say no because he was busy. Then she could get a lead in to ask about work… hopefully.

  “Oh, ah, yeah, that’s fine. Maybe when your work quietens down. Do you think that will be soon? How’s the investigation going? Are you close to catching them? I’m just freaking out because I had an episode, and I don’t want it to happen again.”

  Please, please, please, please, please give her some information we can use. Her voice sounded disappointed when she said, “Oh, okay. That’s too bad. Well, let me know if you ever want to take me up on it. Okay. Stay safe. Bye.” She pressed the screen on her phone, then set it on the chair next to her. When she turned to me, she was frowning.

  I conjured a bubble of silence and stared at her, my eyebrows raised. “Bubble of silence activated. Now, tell me!”

  “He turned me down.” She sighed.

  I pouted to show my sympathy, but we needed to get to the good bits, the information about what was going on at the PIB. “He’s not himself—you know that. Plus, you weren’t really asking him out. You were fishing for news.”

  “Well, yes, but still….”

  “I hate to be an uncaring witch, and you know your pain is my pain, but what did he say about work?”

  “Sheesh, can’t a girl have a moment to pick herself up and dust herself off?” She smiled. “I’m okay, and you’re right—he’s not himself. Also, it’s fun keeping you in suspense.”

  Were we all turning into cruel weirdos who had fun torturing others? I blamed Angelica’s influence. “Spill, woman!”

  Smirking, she leaned forward. “Well, apparently they’re no closer to catching who did it, but they know it’s related to tea, coffee, scones, and cakes. He thinks they’ll be working on it for weeks. He also said Angelica’s called in sick again, and so has Drake. He mentioned how well Dana was doing.” She rolled her eyes.

  I rubbed my forehead with my palm, staving off the headache that threatened. What the hell was Dana doing? Was she putting red herrings in the way? Because I was pretty sure only tea was involved. It wouldn’t be hard for her to plant evidence in other foods and beverages since she had a hand in the original crime. “That dirty witch. She’s stretching out the investigation as long as she can. This is bad, or it would be if Angelica and James weren’t on the case.” I shook my head. When we caught her, she was going to spend many, many years in jail. If we caught her…

  “Thanks for doing that for me. You’re awesome. Angelica and James are going to be impressed.”

  She grinned. “It was kind of fun to see if I could find out anything. I’m looking forward to starting work soon, but I have one stupid exam left, and this week I was supposed to spend studying, but it’s kind of gotten away from me.”

  “Why don’t you go study now? There’s nothing happening, and since I’m such miserable company, it would be a better use of your time.” I pulled a silly face at her, and she laughed.

  “I might just do that. Let me know when Angelica and James get back. Okay?”

  “For sure.”

  I drained my coffee cup and stared at the fireplace. What was Dana’s endgame? She practically had the promotion, so why drag things out? Maybe she was waiting for Drake to die to “solve” the crime? Did she realise things were about to spread to London? I doubted that would make her look good—not stopping it before it went so far. Unless she wanted it to spread? I just couldn’t see how she’d benefit from that. Had Gabriel paid her off? That kind of thing was rife in government all over the world. It should be no surprise that crime could affect the PIB too. And her boyfriend did look like the gangster type. Bribery seemed like something he’d be into.

  I stood and went to the window. No sign of James or Angelica in the downpour, not that they’d come home that way. Gazing outside was more a habit from growing up. When I’d waited for Dad to get home from work, I’d stand in the lounge room, which was at the front of the house, and stare out the window. Then, after they went missing, I would stand there every night in the first few weeks, just waiting and hoping they’d been found and that they’d be pulling up in a taxi at any moment.

  But they never did.

  Closing my tear-filled eyes, I tried to recall the last time I’d seen them. After big squishy hugs for me, and not so squishy ones for James, they’d walked outside to the red-and-white taxi. Dad had held the car door open for Mum as the taxi driver put their suitcases in the boot.

  James and I had stood in the doorway, Mum’s friend behind us. Dad had turned and waved, a huge smile on his face, then got in the taxi. I’d missed them even before the taxi was out of sight. If only Mum had used her clairvoyance, she could have saved us all a lot of heartache. Unless she had and didn’t tell anyone. Maybe whatever they went through in England was the lesser of two evils. A wave of nausea coasted through my stomach.

  I opened my eyes. If them disappearing was the better option, I hated to think what the worse one was.

  Argh, this line of thinking wouldn’t help anyone. It might be hours before James and Angelica returned. Time would drag on more torturously than being drawn and quartered if I didn’t do something to distract myself. I sat back in the armchair, and my iPad popped into my hands. This magic gig had its uses. A light and fluffy romance was just what I needed. At least someone was getting some action, even if it was just a character in a book.

  Later in the afternoon, Olivia and I were sitting at the kitchen table matching wits at chess—okay, so I may have put a positive spin on the situation. Her wits actually had mine on the ground in a headlock, and mine were turning blue.

  “Checkmate.” She sat back in her chair and folded her arms, a grin on her face.

  “Like it’s a surprise. I don’t know why you bother playing with me. It’s not like I’m any competition.”

  She shrugged. “You’ll improve if we keep playing. Plus, studying was doing my head in. I needed a break to relax my brain.”

  “Ha ha. Because there’s no thinking needed when you play me.” I snorted.

  “I have to have something I’m better at. You get to be a witch.”

  “True, but it’s not all fun. Before I got my powers, I’d never had my life threatened, not even once. It’s getting old, fast.”

  “Would you give back your powers if you could trade it for being safe and living a normal life?”

  I put my elbow on the table and rested my chin in my palm. “I don’t know. Maybe yes. I would miss certain aspects of it, of course, but I can’t remember the last time I had a proper night’s sleep or went out without worrying someone was going to kill me.” I sighed. “Anyway, it is what it is. Sorry for seeming ungrateful.” I mumbled the bubble of silence spell. “I’m just tired and worried about Will and Beren. Plus, even if we can prove who perpetrated this violence thing, how are we going to put Dana in jail if she has most of the agents in the PIB under her control? It’s the whole of the PIB versus three of us. I don�
�t really like those odds.”

  Footsteps sounded from the hallway. Then Angelica appeared at the door, James and someone else behind her. “Hello, dears. Mind if we join you?” Dark circles had embedded under her eyes, but from her smile and the person next to James, I’d say our odds just improved. To say I was surprised would be an understatement.

  I altered the bubble of silence to include everyone.

  Angelica stepped into the room and gestured to our guest. “Olivia, you remember Agent Drake Pembleton, my boss at the PIB?”

  I never thought I’d ever be happy to see Drake, but the world was a funny place.

  “Hello, Agent Pembleton.” Olivia stood and held her hand out. He came in and shook it.

  Drake turned to me and cleared his throat. He smoothed down his tie in a nervous gesture that I remembered only too well. His face was drawn—he’d lost weight since I’d seen him last—and he had similar dark circles to Angelica’s. Probably a result of Dana’s “virus.”

  “Hello, Lily. I’m afraid I owe you an apology.”

  Two surprises in one day, and I didn’t even like surprises, but I’d make an exception for these. I wasn’t ready to answer him yet, though. He’d need to expand on the apology sentiment. I’d been through hell in the last week. It was only fair someone else joined me. And it wasn’t as if he’d always been nice to me, even without Dana’s influence.

  He swallowed and licked his bottom lip. “I realise we… I treated you unfairly. I never would have banished you if Dana hadn’t put the thought into my head. I’m embarrassed this has happened, and I promise you, once I’m reinstated, you have the PIB’s full support.”

  I nodded. “Okay, thanks.” I gave him that closed-mouth, just-slightly-more-curved-than-straight smile, the one you gave when you didn’t really want to smile, but you had to be polite. If he still felt a bit awkward because I wasn’t overjoyed, bad luck. It wasn’t my job to make people feel better when they’d treated me unfairly numerous times. Maybe he’d think twice before he disrespected me next time, because I had no doubt this newfound niceness wouldn’t last more than a few weeks.