Two Words I'd Never Say Again

by Remi Carrington

  It was good that I’d asked about bringing her along for the family getaway. If this was what she did with an evening, I didn’t even want to contemplate what she’d do with a weekend.

  “Why does the house smell?”

  “I’m making pickled squash. These would probably be better if we grew our own squash. Maybe we should plant some. Do you think April is too late to plant squash?”

  “I think the vinegar smell is very strong. Let’s open some windows.”

  “But it’s humid outside.”

  “And it stinks in here.” I opened a few windows.

  When I walked back into the kitchen, Cami was slicing zucchini. “Have you seen Eli lately? Has he asked about me?”

  “Y’all only met once.”

  “I guess that’s a no.” She sighed. “I’m not having any luck meeting nice guys who don’t look at me like I’m a three-year-old who has had too much candy.”

  “Give it time. You’ll meet someone nice. It often happens when you least expect it. Hank’s family is having a getaway weekend. Would you like to join us?” I pulled up the calendar on my phone and showed her which weekend.

  She crinkled her nose. “Sounds fun, but things are a little tight. Daddy said he wasn’t giving me any more money until I found a real job. But don’t worry, I’ll still pay you.”

  I pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry you were cut off. Coming with me to the resort won’t cost you a thing.”

  “Then I’m in. It sort of ruins my plans for the weekend, but whatever.”

  “Dare I ask?”

  Cami grinned, and her eyes lit up. “I found some plaster stuff in your garage and was thinking about making a cast of my chest. It would be kind of artsy.”

  I envisioned her home alone and stuck in plaster. “What would you do if you couldn’t get it off?”

  Her grin widened. “Call the fire department.”

  “It’s probably good that you aren’t staying home. I’m not sure that’s the best way to meet someone.”

  Cami stuffed zucchini slices into jars. “How did you meet Hank?”

  The memory sparked a warmth in my chest. “Haley and I had just signed a lease on a small space. We bought furniture—the assembly required kind—and I learned that I’m not good at putting furniture together. Haley called her brother.” I closed my eyes as I pictured him walking through the door that very first time. “I’d just picked up a box that was much too heavy for me when he pushed open the door. He took the box from me and said, ‘You don’t have to show off for me.’ He showed up almost every day after that.”

  Cami pressed a hand to her chest. “Aww. I want that. So how did the magic happen?”

  “He showed up one Friday evening. I was getting ready to go home but thought he was there for Haley. But he leaned against the doorframe of my office and crossed his arms. After hemming and hawing several minutes, he invited me to go out with him—dinner and dancing. I’d only known him a couple of months then, but I was smitten. Completely.”

  “How long did you date before he popped the question?”

  “About six months.”

  Cami wrapped me in a hug. “I just know it’s all going to work out.”

  “I hope so. I really hope so.”

  When she went back to her pickle-making, I ran out to the garage. I needed to hide the plaster.

  Chapter 23

  Showing up to counseling had gotten easier . . . until tonight. Five minutes past our start time, Hank still hadn’t made an appearance.

  I pushed back the cuticles on my nails. “I’m sorry. What was the question?”

  Marla leaned forward. “You seem upset.”

  “This is the first time he’s been late, and we haven’t really spoken this week. I’m just . . . worried.”

  “Worried about what?” She always prodded me to say my frustrations out loud.

  I glanced at the open door, then buried my face in my hands. “I’m worried that Hank has decided that he’ll never trust me, and that he’s given up on me.”

  “Do you trust him?”

  I cradled the question, sitting with it a second before answering. “Completely. And I know he wouldn’t move away without telling me, but what I did to him was horrible. At one point, I even told him it was over. I worry we can’t recover from that.”

  The couch shifted, and either Marla was about to hug me, or Hank had walked in. I really didn’t want Marla to hug me.

  “Sorry I’m late.” How much of that had Hank heard?

  I sat up, and when I looked into his eyes, desire stared back at me. On impulse, I hugged him. “I missed you this week.”

  He patted my back as he pulled away. “Me too.”

  Marla got that look, like a preying cat who’d spotted a lone mouse. “Hank, what do you think of what Nacha said? Is recovery possible?”

  “I wouldn’t be here otherwise.” His thumb brushed the back of my neck. “I made her a promise. I could never give up on her.”

  It didn’t matter how the rest of this session went, I’d heard enough to fill my soul. If five years from now, we were still trying to figure it out, I’d—I’d be frustrated, but hopefully that wasn’t how this would unfold.

  At the end of the session, Marla pulled up her calendar. “Hank, I know you’ll be gone next week, so we’ll plan the session for the week after.”

  Why did everyone except me know that my husband was going to be out of town?

  She scheduled our session, then clapped her hands. “And I’m giving you homework. Before we get together again, I want the two of you to spend time together . . . alone. But—and this part is important—I don’t want you to focus on physical intimacy. I want you to be together without sex being the goal.”

  “We can do that.” Hank stood and shoved his hands in his pockets.

  I grabbed my purse. “Absolutely.” Praying he didn’t think that thirty minutes next to the pool during our getaway fulfilled the assignment, I followed him out.

  We were silent until we arrived at my car. Asking about dinner was a bad idea, so I smiled. “Call me about getting together.”

  He nodded. “You mentioned dinner. Does that still work?”

  “Yes. I’d love that.” My patience had been rewarded.

  “Good. I made a reservation. Why don’t I follow you to your house? You can ride with me to the restaurant.”

  My head bounced up and down much too vigorously. “Perfect.”

  I drove the short distance to the house, then walked to the truck.

  He hopped out and opened my door. “I’m glad we’re getting a chance to talk. There’s something I need to tell you.”

  I grabbed his offered hand as I climbed up into the seat, loving how this felt like a date. Whatever it was he needed to tell me, I wasn’t worried. I was too busy relishing the time with him.

  He kept hold of my hand. “I meant what I said inside.”

  I kissed his cheek. “I know.”

  After a quick squeeze, he let go and ran back around to the driver’s side.

  When we walked into the restaurant, he didn’t touch me or reach for my hand. But I was focusing on the positives.

  Dinner conversation consisted of him talking about work and asking what else I was learning to cook.

  It wasn’t until the waiter set dessert on the table that Hank reached for my hand. “You probably heard that I was going out of town. I’m leaving tomorrow, and I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone. No more than a week, I expect. I didn’t want you to worry.”

  “So you’ll be back for the mini reunion?”

  “Aunt Joji threatened to invite Mitchell if I missed it. What I don’t understand is why a family that sees each other almost every weekend needs a reunion. But what do I know?” He shrugged and chuckled.

  “I’m guessing this is another of Aunt Joji’s attempts to get us together.”

  “You think?” He trailed his thumb across my knuckles. “When I get back, we’ll spend time together. I’ll make d
inner, and you can come over to the house.”

  “I’ll get to see the new pool.”

  “Yeah. Bring your suit.” His sarcasm was obvious.

  That was exactly what I was going to do. I couldn’t promise, I’d get into the pool, but I could wear a skimpy suit and hang out on the edge.

  Wearing a swimsuit required a trip to the mall. I didn’t own a bathing suit, let alone a skimpy one. I would remedy that while he was out of town.

  When Hank walked me to the door that night, he didn’t give me a kiss, but there was one in his eyes. I wanted to believe I wasn’t imagining it.

  Chapter 24

  When Haley greeted me at the office door, I shook my head. “I know Hank left town. No, I don’t know where he went or why.”

  “Dang it.” She crossed her arms, then uncrossed them and propped her fists on her hips. “Being married to his best friend can be frustrating.”

  “Don’t pester Zach. I’m glad Hank has someone to talk to.” I carried my bag to my office.

  Haley stayed right on my heels. “What about me? I’m his sister!” She dropped into a chair. “Zach drove him to the airport. They left about seven. So the flight is probably taking off about ten. I could search to see what flights are scheduled to leave about that time.”

  “Haley, don’t worry about it. Hank will come back. And when he’s ready to tell us where he went, he will.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Spill it. You know something. Or did he say something to you?”

  “He told me he was going out of town, that he didn’t know how long he’d be gone, but that he’d be at the reunion.” I inhaled. “Did I cover everything?”

  “You seem so relaxed about it . . . like you know this trip is a good thing.”

  Putting an ‘all good’ label on the trip felt right, but I had no reason to believe the trip was good or bad. “I don’t know that, but I trust him.”

  She tapped her chest, right over her heart. “I’ll feel better when the two of you are back together.” She sprang up out of the chair. “But I hate being the last to know things.”

  “Sorry.” I glanced down at my phone when it beeped. I rarely had my sound off anymore. When my notifications sounded in public, people looked at me like I was twice my age. It was worth not missing a message or call from Hank.

  He’d texted: I really enjoyed dinner last night.

  It almost felt like old times. I read the message a second time before hitting send.

  His reply made excitement dance in my chest. Or like a new beginning.

  I sent a heart as my response. Messages like that offered more than a glimmer of hope that I’d be sharing that charming little cabin during the family getaway, which conveniently had a hot tub. Whatever skimpy swimsuit I bought could do double duty. All I had to do was convince myself to get in the water.

  That involved a whole other level of trust.

  When Cami’s voice trailed down the hall, I jumped up to close my door.

  “But when I went back out to the garage, I couldn’t find the plaster, so no chesty wall art for above my desk.”

  Haley’s giggle bubbled into a full-bodied laugh. “I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t send the right impression about what type of photography we do.”

  “We could fix up that little apartment with a red sofa and plush rugs.” Cami’s ideas bordered on insane some days; other days, they were way over the line.

  “No!” Haley tried to catch her breath. “I need to get some work done.”

  “I’m just teasing, you know. There’s no way I’d smear plaster on me. Ick!”

  I closed the door. My life had changed over the last few months into something that was almost perfect.

  I knocked on my desk, which was probably only a good imitation of wood. Hopefully, that didn’t matter too much.

  Buried in work, I didn’t come up for air until I left for a photo shoot. If the rest of the week stayed this busy, time would pass quickly.

  I could hope.

  That night, I tucked into bed, too tired to read. With the phone next to my pillow, I closed my eyes. Two seconds later, our song played, and I swiped at the screen. “Hello.”

  Hank waved. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I guess it is kind of later there.” He was in a different time zone, an earlier one.

  “I don’t mind. How was your flight?”

  “Not too bad. I was hoping I’d be able to get my stuff done and hop a plane tomorrow, but it didn’t work out that way. I’ll be here a few days.”

  “I’m sorry for the delay.” It took so much willpower not to ask where he was.

  He set the phone down and walked out of view. “Thanks for not asking too many questions.” When he reappeared, his shirt was absent.

  I loved talking to him, but this was an extra-special treat.

  “I trust you. Your sister, on the other hand, is being eaten alive by curiosity.”

  Hank laughed, which made me want to crawl through the screen and wrap my arms around him. “I’ll have to get Zach something extra nice for Christmas for all that he’s going through. Keeping secrets from my sister can be brutal.”

  I didn’t like that phrase—keeping secrets.

  In Hank’s usual fashion, he responded to my thought. “It’s temporary, Nacha. I’m not asking Zach to cover up a lie.”

  “Should I tell her that?”

  “Won’t matter. She signed up for it when she married my best friend. She told me to my face that she didn’t want to interfere in the friendship.”

  “I know.” Seeing Hank’s passion on the topic reminded me of how hard it was for him to accept the idea of Zach and Haley as a couple.

  The phone jostled, then Hank was in bed. “Tell me about your day.”

  For an hour, we talked like we did when we were first dating. I couldn’t wait for him to get back to town.

  We had a homework assignment to complete.

  Chapter 25

  Friday evening, I slipped the brand new, tiny, red bikini into my purse. All I had to do now was slip out of the house without telling Cami where I was headed.

  My bags were packed for the family reunion, but the reunion wouldn’t kick off until lunchtime. I didn’t have time to think about how things would be with Hank at the resort.

  Thinking of an excuse for tonight required creative thinking. I didn’t really want to lie. Lies had caused me enough trouble.

  But I wanted to spend time with Hank without people driving by the house and without people asking how it went.

  “Hey, Cami. I’m—”

  “Oh! There you are. Haley called me. They are starting the weekend festivities tonight. Your mom, her boyfriend, Aunt Joji, and I’m not sure who all else are headed over to their place. She wants us to come.” She glanced down at my shoes. “Good, you’re all ready to go.”

  “You go ahead. I have something else I need to do.” Not a lie.

  She shrugged. “Suit yourself.” Two seconds later, she was in her car and backing out of the driveway.

  When her taillights disappeared from view, an engine started across the street. Hank’s truck pulled into the driveway. It was a good thing she didn’t know what he drove.

  I locked the door and ran out to meet him. “It’s sweet of you to pick me up.”

  “More time together. That’s the assignment, right?” He opened my door.

  “Your timing was a bit too perfect. Would I be correct in thinking you suggested Zach host a backyard get-together tonight?”

  He nuzzled my neck, which sent sparks—no pun intended—skittering up my spine. “I’ve always found your intelligence extremely attractive.”

  I hadn’t signed anything agreeing to Marla’s stipulations about the evening. Right now, I wanted one thing—to break Marla’s silly rule.

  I pressed closer. “Hank.”

  He touched a finger to my lips. “No kissing yet. It’s way too early for that.” With a wink, he helped me into the truck.

  When did he become such a rule f
ollower?

  We were silent for the first few miles, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable or awkward.

  Hank broke the silence as we drove into Stadtburg. “I hope you don’t mind that I haven’t started cooking yet. Spending that time together seemed like a more appealing option.”

  “I’ll even help.”

  “Sounds like a win.” He pulled into his driveway. “And I had an ulterior motive for picking you up. If anyone happens to drive by, your car in the driveway would generate phone calls. Tonight, I’d rather not be interrupted.”

  “You want to focus on our homework.”

  “You read my mind.” He held my hand as we walked to the door.

  “Want dessert now?” He picked up the plates.

  I touched a finger to the bandage on his finger. “Did you hurt yourself?”

  “It’s fine.”

  “Why don’t we sit out on the patio and talk? I still haven’t seen the pool.”

  “Let me put these in the kitchen, then I’ll show you.”

  Lingering by the back door, I dared to hope that all his comments about a new beginning meant that he’d made up his mind.

  If he had, how long would he wait to tell me?

  Hank pressed a hand to the small of my back as he opened the back door. “What do you think?”

  What used to be an ordinary backyard was now landscaped with the pool and a hot tub as a focal point.

  “Hank, it looks amazing. I didn’t realize you were putting in a hot tub, too.”

  He pointed at a chair. “Sometimes, a hot tub is the perfect way to end a day.”

  “So I’ve heard.” I sat down. “And you got a new grill.”

  “I did. I’m not thrilled with where it is. I think it’s too close to the pool. I probably need to expand the patio. Be right back.”

  I waited while he ran inside. Maybe I’d suggest a soak in the hot tub. If I could be wrapped around Hank, I’d be able to handle being in the water.