The Girl from the Corner Shop

by Alrene Hughes

‘Helen, is this true?’ She could hear the shock in his voice.

  It was bad enough that she had never contradicted him when he assumed she had a husband. She couldn’t lie now. ‘Yes.’

  Frank was getting into his stride. ‘Aye, and more than that, Jim were my best mate and me and Helen are getting married. So, I’m not best pleased to find her out late at night with a fancy man like you.’

  ‘You’re getting married?’

  Her reply was feeble. ‘I haven’t said I would.’

  Laurence stepped backwards. ‘Why would you lie to me about your husband? I thought there was something special between us.’ He shook his head as though clearing his mind. ‘I got it all wrong.’

  He walked away and she cried after him, ‘Laurence, you’re not wrong, there is something between us, I feel it too.’

  He never looked back, just got in his car and drove off.

  ‘Bloody hell, Helen, what are you up to? Out till midnight with some fella. What would Jim think?’

  How dare he speak to her like that? And he had no right to be telling Laurence that she was going to marry him. She pushed past him to get to the door and opened it. Frank followed her, but she whipped round before he could step over the threshold and tried to close the door on him, but he pushed his way in.

  ‘Now listen here,’ he said. ‘I don’t know what’s happened between you and that fella, and I don’t want to know, but I’m prepared to let it go. I’ll still marry you, Helen, and we’ll have that life that you lost.’

  She chose her words carefully. ‘Frank, you’ve been a friend, looking after me since Jim died. You helped me through that terrible time. I’ve thought about your proposal and I’ve made a decision. I’m not going to marry you.’

  ‘You’re turning me down? Why would you do that?’

  ‘Because I don’t love you, Frank.’

  ‘Maybe you don’t now, but you will.’

  ‘No, I won’t, and I never want to be a fireman’s wife again.’

  ‘Helen, don’t you think Jim would want you to be looked after?’

  ‘For God’s sake, Frank, stop living your life asking, “What would Jim want?” He’s dead! You have to move on and so do I!’

  ‘I can’t believe this. I finished with Gwen to be with you.’

  ‘Don’t you dare throw that in my face. You left her because you didn’t love her. You’ve hardly bothered with her these last few months.’

  His face was full of anger. ‘If I walk out this door, you’ll never see me again. How will you manage then?’

  ‘I don’t know, but I’ll find a way.’

  ‘Well good luck with that,’ he shouted, and he stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

  Chapter 29

  For the first time since she joined the WAPC, Helen couldn’t face going to work on Monday morning. She would rather bury herself under the bedclothes and wallow in self-pity. The awful scene on Saturday night played over and over in her mind. Was she stupid to have refused Frank? She could have been planning her wedding to a man who loved her. She did like him, he was handsome and, if the truth be told, she longed to have a man in her life again. Then there was Laurence. She hadn’t known him very long, but that didn’t matter, he was like no other man she knew and there was no doubt that she was attracted to him physically. Now she’d spoiled it all and she would never see him again. Why, oh why didn’t she tell him about Jim right from the beginning?

  There was no point in moping. She climbed out of bed and got ready for work, not because she wanted to, but because she would be doing something useful, even if it was only logging lost ration books. Not only that, she was worried about Susan.

  It was dinnertime before she had the chance to speak to Sergeant Duffy. She knocked and put her head round the door. She was at her desk looking through statements. ‘Goodness me, you look washed out. Is something the matter?’

  ‘I’ve been worrying about Susan. Did they charge her?’

  ‘Yes, under the Offences Against the Person Act for concealing a birth.’

  ‘What’ll happen to her?’

  ‘She’ll be taken to court, but I don’t think she’ll get a custodial sentence for that. She made a statement of her own volition and that’ll stand her in good stead.’

  ‘Thank goodness. Has she gone home?’

  ‘Yes, but in the meantime they’re waiting for the post-mortem. There’s a possibility of infanticide.’

  ‘Infanticide?’

  ‘She may have killed the baby.’

  Helen let out a cry. ‘Oh God!’ She couldn’t hold back her tears or the awful image of the dead baby.

  ‘Sit down, Helen.’

  The idea that someone would kill a child was beyond her understanding. Had Susan done that? She could’ve just abandoned it on a doorstep where someone would find it. Then at least it would have lived. She wiped her tears. ‘I’ll be all right in a minute then I’ll go back to work.’

  ‘Helen, I don’t think you’re fit for work. You were in a state when you found the baby and all through Susan’s interview you were struggling to cope. Then you come in today and you’re crying again. Look, I know you haven’t had much leave since you started work in the force. You’re due time off. I think I’ll send you home and you can take another day off on top of that.’

  ‘But I’m all right.’

  ‘No, you’re not. Go home, that’s an order.’

  She left the station and wandered aimlessly. In St Ann’s Square she was drawn by music coming from the church and went in to find a wedding in progress. The ceremony was almost over and she stayed to watch the army officer and his beautiful bride walk down the aisle leaving joy in their wake. She wasn’t much for praying, but she silently asked God to keep him safe for his new wife.

  She was still thinking of them as she crossed the square when she saw it, the bomb shelter, the one where Norah had been murdered. She walked quickly away. Marilyn, Norah, Susan – ruined lives, all of them – I’m not cut out for this job. Sergeant Duffy said she should go home, but that would make her worse. She just wanted to hide away somewhere to settle her nerves. There was only one place she could think of.

  At the Deansgate Picture House she bought a ticket and didn’t even look at what picture was showing. Inside, the usherette led her to a seat. The dark soothed her a little and she closed her eyes, lost in thought. She must have stayed there for two hours, then slowly the chatter on screen and the outbursts of laughter around her registered in her brain. She opened her eyes and realised it was a George Formby film, though why women were running around in their underwear she had no idea. Next thing, he’d got his ukulele and was singing a lewd song. She couldn’t bear such silly nonsense, but still she didn’t want to go home.

  Instead, she caught the Queen’s Road tram to Gwen’s house and as soon as she opened the door, Gwen dragged her inside. ‘Oh, Helen, I can’t believe you’re here. Come upstairs, I need to talk to you.’ It was clear to see she was agitated and had been crying.

  ‘What is it? Has something happened?’ Helen asked.

  ‘Yes, and I don’t know what to do – it’s terrible.’

  ‘Calm down, it can’t be that bad.’ Helen tried to soothe her. ‘Do you want to tell me what’s happened?’

  ‘I’m pregnant, that’s what’s happened!’ Now she was angry. ‘It was that night after we met you at the Whit walks. He said it’d be all right. He, you know, took precautions. I thought we were going to get married. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise. Then a week after that he finished with me and, remember I told you, I was sure he’d left me for someone else. He denied it, but I just know he’s got another woman.’

  Helen’s blood ran cold. What if Gwen were to find out that she was the woman he was chasing? She tried to focus on Gwen. ‘Have you told Frank you’re pregnant?’

  ‘No fear! I’m not telling him. Anyway, he won’t come back to me.’

  ‘You don’t know that.’

  ‘He said he loved me and he
lied. I trusted him and look what he’s done to me.’

  Helen watched her weep. She wanted to tell her the truth – that Frank had left Gwen because he wanted to marry her – but that would make it even worse. ‘Would you like me to talk to Frank?’

  ‘No, I’m not running after him.’

  ‘So, what will you do? Have the baby and keep it, or you could have it adopted?’

  Gwen gave a mirthless laugh. ‘I’m not having a kid with no father.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘I’m getting rid of it.’

  ‘Oh no, Gwen, don’t do that, please. Your mam and dad will help you. I’ll help you.’

  ‘Will you, Helen?’

  ‘Yes, of course I will.’

  There was a wild look in Gwen’s eyes and she leaned over and grabbed Helen’s hand. ‘I’ve been talking to a girl at work; same thing happened to her and she got rid of it.’

  Helen was appalled. ‘Oh no, Gwen—’

  ‘Don’t say anything, Helen, just listen. You can go to one of these backstreet women and they’ll do something awful to you and you could end up dead. But this girl knows a doctor in Longsight, a proper doctor, one who’ll do a good job. She said it didn’t take long, and she wagged work for two days after and stayed in bed.’

  Helen could hardly bear it… another dead baby. It was a moment before she caught up with what Gwen was saying.

  ‘—but it doesn’t come cheap. Helen, I’ve nobody else to turn to. You’ve a good job and Jim’s pension. I’d pay you back. Please help me, Helen.’

  If Gwen had asked her for help for any other reason, she would willingly have lent her the money. But not to get rid of a baby. ‘Oh Gwen, please don’t do it. It’s too dangerous but, more to the point you’d be killing your child.’

  ‘I’ll have it done on the cheap then. I’d rather die than have a baby!’

  ‘I’m sure you don’t mean that, you’re just upset.’

  ‘So, you won’t lend me the money?’

  ‘I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you and I couldn’t bear to think that I had paid for a baby to—’

  Gwen burst into tears. ‘But you’re my friend, I thought you’d understand. Why won’t you help me?’

  She shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it for the reasons I’ve told you and, not only that, it’s against the law.’

  ‘Oh, so here you are, the policewoman, telling me what I can’t do. Who do you think you are, full of your own importance? You’ve played the grieving widow with me and Frank supporting you but now, when I ask for your help, you couldn’t possibly do something for me when I’m in dire need!’

  Helen couldn’t believe her ears. ‘You get pregnant, and I’m the one in the wrong, then you want me to give you money?’

  ‘Get out of here.’ Gwen ran at her and pushed her towards the door. ‘Get out, you bitch!’

  With every step she took away from Gwen’s house, Helen railed against the insults she had hurled at her. She could never have lent her money for an abortion. Her stomach churned at the thought. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything about the law, but she worked for the police and she had sworn to uphold it. Then there were those awful, hurtful words; she was sure she never played the widow – she lived it.

  She got as far as Rochdale Road then realised she was close to Frank’s lodgings; she had been there once with Jim when he needed Frank to do an early shift. He might not be at home or he could refuse to speak to her at all after she had rejected him. Nevertheless, she had to try. The landlady answered the door, and told her no women were allowed in the lodgers’ rooms, but she shouted up to him saying there was a woman wanting to speak to him. He looked surprised to see her.

  ‘Hello, Frank.’ Behind him she could see the landlady loitering in the hall. ‘Could I have a word with you?’

  He closed the door behind him and they walked as far as the gate. ‘Well, I didn’t expect to see you again,’ he said.

  Facing him now, she worried that he would get just as angry as Gwen had been when she had tried to give her advice. ‘I wanted to speak to you about Gwen.’

  He rolled his eyes. ‘Tell her I’m not interested – it’s over.’

  ‘But that’s just it, Frank, it’s not over. She doesn’t know I’m here, but I can’t stand by and let you two ruin your lives.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  She took a deep breath. ‘Gwen’s pregnant.’ He was about to shout, but she held up her hand. ‘No, listen, she wants to get rid of it – your child, Frank, you can’t let that happen.’

  ‘It’s got nothing to do with me. She can do what she likes with it!’

  ‘How can you say that? Only a few weeks ago it looked like you were going to marry her.’

  ‘No, I was going to marry you! So, don’t tell me what to do with my life.’ He turned and walked back to the house.

  ‘But the baby, Frank?’ She ran after him and caught hold of his arm. ‘You’re a good man, a decent man. I can’t believe you would let Gwen down like this.’ He shrugged her off and went back inside, leaving her screaming at the closed door. ‘What would Jim think of you!’

  She walked all the way home, her mind in turmoil, and went straight to bed. She awoke in the early morning and decided to clean the house from top to bottom, scrubbing, polishing, washing and ironing, and all the while she pushed away the dark thoughts of babies and murdered girls.

  *

  When Helen returned to work after her leave, Sergeant Duffy had a quick word with her in the canteen. ‘Good to see you back. Do you feel any better?’

  ‘Yes, thanks.’

  ‘Ready for the fray, then? We’re on the lookout for five tons of black-market bacon said to be on the way to us from London.’

  ‘Anything more about Norah’s murder?’

  ‘No, it’s gone cold, but we’ll keep on with the overnight patrols.’

  ‘And what about Susan?’

  ‘The post-mortem was inconclusive so the charge will be concealing a birth. She’ll get six months’ probation. That reminds me, the director of the Whitworth rest centre has asked if you could call in next Saturday. Some of their residents are being moved into renovated housing over the next few weeks and she thought you might like to say goodbye to them.’

  ‘That’s great news. I’ll try to get there.’

  ‘You should. You know, the director spoke highly of you and that young doctor, not just what you did for Susan, but the support you gave the women there.’

  Helen thought this might be a good opportunity to do more work in the community. ‘Sarge, is there any chance I could get more time out on the beat and less in the office?’

  ‘Aye, why not. We could do with more help out there, especially with this surge of black-market goods in the city. Leave it with me.’

  *

  She thought about the invitation to the rest centre on and off throughout the day. She really wanted to say goodbye to the women and to wish them well in their new homes after all the heartache and discomfort they had suffered. She wanted to see Laurence too, even if it was only to say goodbye. Their friendship shouldn’t have ended as it did. After that terrible day with Susan, the evening she had spent in his flat had been lovely, and she knew they had got on well together. But remembering that awful scene outside her house made her shudder. She had misled him about Jim and she could still see the hurt in his eyes, as he turned his back on her that night. By the time she got home she still hadn’t decided what to do. If she went to the rest centre it would be very awkward, but then again it would be bad manners not to go. As it happened, on the Saturday morning Sergeant Duffy decided that she, too, would go to the rest centre. ‘It does no harm to show your face,’ she said, leaving Helen no alternative but to accompany her.

  *

  Margaret Pilkington, the director of the Whitworth Art Gallery, met them at the door and Helen introduced her to Sergeant Duffy. ‘I’m so glad to see both of you here and I have to tell y
ou, Sergeant, that Helen has worked hard helping the women with all sorts of problems. Now, I’ll show you around if you like. ‘Then she winked at Helen. ‘Why don’t you pop along and say hello to Dr Fitzpatrick?’

  She took a deep breath and knocked on his door. ‘Come in.’ He was alone, sitting behind his desk. She had thought he would be angry at the sight of her, but it looked more like sadness in his eyes. ‘Hello, Helen,’ he said.

  ‘Hello, Laurence, can I come in?’

  He shrugged. She took that as a ‘yes’ and sat opposite him.

  ‘How are you?’ she asked. Another shrug. ‘Laurence, I’m so sorry about what happened. I’d like to explain, will you let me do that?’

  ‘I don’t think there’s much point. You’re a widow and you’re going to marry your husband’s best friend. Congratulations on that.’

  ‘But that’s not how it is. He asked me to marry him and I said I’d think about it. I’ve given him my answer now – I gave it that very night. I’m not marrying him and he’s made it clear he’ll never see me again.’

  ‘This has got nothing to do with me.’

  ‘But it does, Laurence. The evening I spent in your flat was the first time I’d felt alive since my husband died. I enjoyed your company so much and I think you felt a connection between us – a spark – you said it yourself.’

  He studied her face. ‘I won’t lie to you, Helen, I was attracted to you from the beginning and, when I got to know you better, I realised you were like no other woman I’d ever met. Sensitive and caring, and you seemed to understand me. At first, I thought it was because of our jobs and the horrors we had seen, but that night in my flat I knew it was more than that.’

  He looked away but she had caught that brief look of anguish. She wanted to go to him and tell him she felt the same way but he turned to her, his face hardened.

  ‘You lied to me, didn’t you? And, for the life of me, I can’t understand why a wife would deny her dead husband?’

  His words were like a blow to her heart and she bowed her head in shame. He was right, she had denied Jim, and she had never even thought of it like that. She couldn’t stay a moment longer.