Love Means Everything

by Emma Easter

  Zainah shook her head. “I think it might be safer for me to look for a job somewhere else.”

  “Most people are Muslims here. It will be hard to find a job working for an employer who isn’t. I think you should accept that job before someone else takes it. If you find that your employers really have a problem with your faith, then you can quit.”

  Zainah thought about what Fatima had said for a minute and then nodded. “I guess you’re right. Let’s tell Hadiza that I’m interested in the job.”

  They both went to the woman, and Zainah told her she was interested in working for her relatives. She would keep her faith as private as she could, but if her employers found out she was a Christian and had a problem with it, she would leave.

  Hadiza promised to tell her relatives about her and set up an interview.

  When they got back home, Zainah went to her room and found Leila in bed, sleeping. Zainah changed into a comfortable kaftan and then went on her knees and prayed that Hadiza’s relative would hire her. The earlier she got a job, the earlier she could start saving and ultimately be reunited with Faizan.

  Chapter Nine

  Trisha wiped Ruby’s lips after she’d eaten her dinner. She glanced at the clock on the wall and her pulse raced. It was six-thirty. She had asked Frank to come by at seven o’clock and Stan at eight, so they would not be there at the same time. She needed to speak to each man separately.

  She lifted Ruby from her high chair, carried her to the bathroom, and bathed her. After that, she carried her to her room, quickly changed her, read a short story to her, and then laid her in her crib. She kissed her and started to leave the room, but Ruby stood up in her crib, refusing to lie down.

  “Ruby, please lie down,” Trisha said exasperatedly.

  Ruby stared at her and giggled. “Mama,” she said.

  Trisha sighed and walked back to her. She laid her back on the bed and then whispered, “Sleep, little baby. Sleep.”

  Ruby turned on her stomach and rubbed her eyes.

  “Good. You are feeling sleepy, aren’t you? Now, please sleep.”

  Ruby looked up at her, her eyes wide with mirth as though she was teasing her mother, daring her to make her fall asleep.

  Trisha began to sing softly to her. She smiled as Ruby shut her eyes, opened them again, and then shut them. Trisha watched her for a full minute. When she didn’t open her eyes again, Trisha heaved a sigh of relief.

  The doorbell rang as she left Ruby’s room with the door ajar. She nervously held her breath and then exhaled. Walking to the living room, she went to open the door and then let Frank in. When he sat on the couch, she came and sat next to him, but shifted slightly away. She faced him fully as her heart drummed. The anxious look on his face only made her own anxiety worse. She took a deep breath and then said, “Frank, you have been a true friend to our family. You are great guy.” She paused for a second. Frank was looking intently at her. She went on. “I can’t say how touched I am… have been, because of how you still love me after all these years.” She looked down for a second, wishing she didn’t have to break the bad news to him, but knowing she had to. There was no postponing it. “I know how this might hurt you, but I am truly sorry, Frank. I can’t be with you.”

  She sucked in her breath sharply at how utterly devastated he looked. She said again, “I am truly sorry. You are such a great catch; you’re kind, funny, and successful. You’ll meet someone in no time if you just open your heart to the possibility.”

  She took his hand and looked him in the eye, wanting him to understand that she was truly sorry, but she didn’t want him to keep holding out hope that they would be together one day.

  His eyes searched hers and he said in a tortured voice, “Are you taking Stan back?”

  She knew he was going to ask that question, but still it was hard for her to admit it to him, knowing it would add to his pain. She didn’t say anything for a full minute and then she answered, “Yes, I am. He asked if I would, and for Ruby’s sake, I will take him back.”

  Tears swam in Frank’s eyes and she couldn’t look at him any longer. She turned away. She was surprised when he gently turned her face back to his.

  “Are you sure it’s what you want to do, Trish?” he asked, his voice choked with emotion. “Not just for Ruby, but for yourself?”

  She pressed her lips together and nodded. “I have chosen to put Ruby’s needs before mine.” She couldn’t resist touching his cheek. “Please forgive me, Frank, for all the pain I have caused you.” She withdrew her hand. “I think it would be better and easier for both of us if you stopped coming here.”

  He gasped and she shut her eyes briefly. The hurt she felt for him was unexpected. But it wasn’t just for him… it was for herself. She opened her eyes to find him staring at her, tears trailing down his cheeks.

  “I’ll always love you, Trisha. I want you to never forget that.”

  She nodded. “I will never forget. How can I?” She reached out and wiped away his tears with her fingers. “You’ll be fine, Frank. I know you will.”

  “It doesn’t seem like that,” he said, his eyes downcast. “My heart hurts badly, and I don’t think it will ever be right again.”

  She swallowed the sob that rose up in her and sighed. “It will.” She smiled to alleviate the sadness that filled the moment and said in a teasing voice, “You will find love very soon and then forget all about me.”

  “Never! I will never forget about you, Trish.”

  Trisha knew this moment with him had to end or she would give into her feelings and tell him she’d decided to be with him instead. She looked up at the clock on the wall and was surprised it was already a few minutes to eight. Stan would soon be there. She stood up and was grateful when Frank stood up with her.

  “I guess I’ll leave now,” he said, looking at her, the expression on his face a mixture of misery and resignation.

  She followed him to the door and then stood watching as he stepped out of the house. He turned around and said, “I’ll miss you terribly.”

  “We can still be friends, Frank. Just because we won’t be together doesn’t mean we can’t be in each other’s lives.”

  “I don’t know if I can be friends with you.”

  She nodded, understanding.

  “Bye, Trisha.”

  “Bye, Frank. I wish you all the best.”

  He entered his car and drove away, and she reentered the house.

  *****

  Stan arrived at the house at five minutes past eight o’ clock. She sat down on the couch beside him and then quickly moved to the loveseat. The couch was where she and Frank had had the heartbreaking talk minutes before. She couldn’t bring herself to speak to Stan while sitting there.

  Stan looked at her as she sat facing him. Unlike Frank, he looked at ease, almost as if he was confident that she would agree to his request and take him back immediately. But on the other hand, it could be that he just didn’t care as much as Frank did.

  She studied his face and then noticed that he did have a slightly anxious look, but, typical of him, he was hiding it well. She sighed softly and threaded her fingers together nervously. She began, “Stan, you know what happened in our marriage and how messy our divorce was.”

  He nodded but didn’t say anything.

  She continued. “I loved you and I was heartbroken when I found out about your many affairs.” The memory of the last sordid affair she had found out flooded her mind and she stopped talking.

  Are you sure you want to make this decision? she asked herself.

  She brushed aside her doubts. Remember you are doing this for your daughter.

  “Before I answer your request, I want you to promise me you will never put me through what you did when we were married. I don’t think I can handle that again.”

  His eyes widened. “Trish, are you saying you will take me back?”

  “First, I need you to promise that you will never ever cheat on me again.”

  He sto
od up and went to kneel before her. “I promise, Trish. Never again. I want to be the man you and Ruby need. I will never put you through what I did when we were married.”

  She looked at him and then gave him a small smile. “Then I will take you back. For our daughter’s sake.”

  He whooped, and she gasped when he suddenly pulled her up on her feet and hugged her tightly. He lifted her off her feet and then put her down again. When he knelt before her and brought out a small box from his pocket, she wasn’t surprised.

  “Trisha, I love you.” He opened the box and showed her the ring inside—a white gold solitaire diamond ring. “Will you marry me… again?”

  Doubts assailed her as she stood staring down at him. She took a deep breath and forced the doubts out of her mind. She nodded.

  “You will?”

  “Yes, Stan. I will marry you again.”

  He swept her off her feet once more. When he put her down, he lifted her chin and gently kissed her. He drew back, took the ring out of the box, and slipped it onto her finger. He smiled and kissed her for the second time. This time, his lips lingered on hers. “I promise to be the best husband I can be for you,” he said as he pulled back to look into her face. “And the best father for Ruby.”

  *****

  Sienna turned on the bed and extended her hand. She blinked when she didn’t feel Bryan beside her. He’s probably in the bathroom, she thought as she turned around to go back to sleep. And then she sat up as she remembered her ongoing quarrel with her husband. Bryan wasn’t in the bathroom. Her heart began to race wildly and she felt a panic attack coming on.

  For the past few days, he’d been sleeping in the living room. The first day, she had been too angry to care. The second day, however, she had pretended not to care when he didn’t come into the bedroom at night. But she did. He left in the morning without speaking to her. When he came home, she ignored him. By the third day, her anxiety attacks had started, but she tried to ignore them.

  Her heart skipped continuously, threatening to explode out of her chest. She threw aside the duvet. She couldn’t stand it anymore. She missed Bryan. She missed kissing him in the morning before he left for work. She missed coming home from lectures and then waiting for him in the living room. She missed hugging him tightly when he came home in the evening. Most of all, she missed going to bed with him and the feeling of safety and comfort she felt as he wrapped her tightly in his arms while they slept.

  She stood up from the bed. Even though she would miss her sisters and brother terribly, she couldn’t live without Bryan. After the Lord, he was her life. If he wanted them to move to the moon, then she would move with him.

  She began to walk to the living room in her nightgown, the panic attack already beginning to subside. She had to go get her husband back now. Just as she turned the corner to walk into the living room, she bumped into someone. She looked up at Bryan.

  “Sienna,” he said, uncertainty written on his face. “You’re up. I was coming to the bedroom to talk to you.”

  She smiled sadly. “I was going to the living room to speak with you.”

  He took her hands and looked into her eyes. “I’m so sorry, darling. I don’t know how to make it right, but can you please forgive me for not trying to work it out with you?”

  She shook her head. “I’m the one who should be apologizing, Bryan. I’ve been stubborn and bull-headed. If you want us to move to South America right now, I’ll go with you. I love you so much.”

  He smiled and hugged her. “I’ve missed you so much,” he said. “I never want us to fight again.”

  “I’ve missed you, too,” she said, deeply inhaling the scent of his body.

  He pulled back and kissed her softly and then hugged her again.

  They clung to each other for a long moment and then she said, “Will you come back to the bedroom? I’ve missed having you sleep beside me.”

  He nodded and she took his hand. They went into the room together and climbed into bed. Bryan pulled her into his arms and then whispered in her ear, “I love you.”

  She smiled. “I love you, too.”

  “What about the TV show, Sienna? What will you tell them? I know how much you wanted that. Do you think they might agree to follow us to Peru and shoot there?”

  She sat up and looked at him in surprise. “You would do that?”

  “Of course. For you.”

  She exhaled and ran her fingers through his hair. “That would be such a great idea if they would agree. But I think they said the show was supposed to star couples in small-town America. I doubt they will want to shoot outside the country.”

  “But you can ask them,” Bryan said.

  “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to ask them. I’ll call them tomorrow. The representative and Amber Roland are supposed to arrive in Green Valley in two days’ time. I’ll ask them if they can shoot outside the country. If they can’t, then I guess we will have to pass on the offer.”

  He kissed her hair and said, “I’m so sorry, Sienna. I wish things were different.”

  She quickly said, “No. Just as you told me some days ago, the Lord knows what’s best for us. Living in Peru at this time is His perfect will for us. I will completely submit to that.”

  He kissed her forehead and sighed. “You are the best wife anyone could ever ask for.”

  “And you are the best husband in the whole wide world.”

  He gave a long, contented sigh and then yawned. He said, “I’ll finally be able to sleep peacefully tonight.” He drew her even closer. “Goodnight, my love.”

  “Goodnight, Bryan.” She burrowed her head in his chest.

  Just before she fell asleep, the reality of what they were soon going to do—move to another country—fully dawned on her. She bit her lip and asked the Lord to help her not to descend into depression again because of it. As long as she had God and Bryan with her, she would be fine, she reminded herself. A deep sense of peace began to settle on her again and she sighed in relief. She went to sleep with a smile on her face, the first in the last three days.

  *****

  Zainah got out from the back of the white BMW and thanked Moussa, the Rahmani family chauffeur, who had driven her to the supermarket. She carried the bag of groceries she had bought into the mansion and went straight to the kitchen to drop the bag. She greeted the chef, who was cooking up a storm, and then went to the downstairs living room to continue her cleaning. All around her was breathtaking luxury. Her father had been rich back in their small community, but it was nowhere near the wealth of this family she worked for now.

  As she dusted the furniture, she thought about how she had felt when she’d started working there two weeks before. She’d been sure she wouldn’t like the job; that it would be too stressful, and that it would probably not pay enough to help her hire an investigator quickly. She’d also been afraid that her employers would be difficult people. But she had been wrong on all counts. The job was far less stressful than the chores she’d done back at the women’s camp. She hardly dealt directly with her employers so she never had cause to find them difficult in any way. Best of all, the pay was much more than she’d ever expected. In just a few months, she was certain she would be able to save enough to hire the investigator. And to top it all off, she had been given a furnished room in the staff quarters at the back of the house. The room was as large as the one she’d shared with several women at the camp and definitely better furnished. Leila had moved in with her a week before.

  There were no small children to clean up after, as the Rahmanis’ three kids were all in their early to mid-twenties and at universities outside the country.

  Zainah looked up when Rania Rahmani, the elegant, forty-something-year-old matriarch of the family, came into the living room. As usual, she was dressed in an extravagant long shimmering dress and matching turban, on her way out to one of her many functions.

  “Good morning, ma,” Zainah greeted her.

  “Morning,” she said without look
ing at Zainah. Her eyes went around the living room and she frowned. She picked up one of the embroidered tasseled throws from the sofa, looked under it, and then threw it back on the couch.

  “Is there anything I can help you find?” Zainah asked politely.

  “Yes, I’m looking for the invitation card for the event I am going to.”

  Zainah’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. Since she’d started working there, the woman had never spoken to her, except to give an abrupt reply when Zainah greeted her. Usually, all the instructions for the household chores she wanted done were passed to Zainah and the other staff through Mira, the caretaker.

  Rania went on, “I’m running late and I won’t be able to get into the venue without it.” She looked around the living room again and then sighed loudly.

  “I’ll search for it,” Zainah said.

  Rania nodded. “It’s a cream IV with the name ‘Rania Rahmani’ engraved in gold letters on it.” She started to walk away from the living room and then stopped and said to Zainah, “If you find it, please bring it up to my room.”

  Zainah nodded and then searched diligently for it in the living room. When she didn’t find it, she went to the vast dining hall to search for it. But still she didn’t see it. She started to leave the dining room, and then frowned when she saw something shiny sticking out from the cream runner on the table. She went and pulled it out and saw it was the invitation card Rania had been searching for.

  She quickly began to make her way up the spiraling stairs, holding the ornate banister until she got to the top. She strode to the master bedroom and then paused before she knocked. Rania might be in this room she sometimes shared with her husband, Nabil. But if she wasn’t, it would be awkward for Zainah to come in and find only Nabil in the room. She hardly went in to clean up the room before noon. By then, Rania and her husband, who looked the same age as she was, were out of the house.

  Zainah decided to go to Rania’s room instead. It would be less awkward if Rania wasn’t there. She walked down the hallway and then stopped in front of Rania’s room. Knocking, she waited until the door opened for her. She entered the room, which was richly decorated in hues of gold and cream. Multiple cream and gold embroidered pillows were scattered everywhere.