by Emma Easter
He watched as various emotions crossed her face. When he asked her to open her eyes, he saw tears shimmering in them.
“Trisha, the Bible says that the peace of God will act as an umpire. Now, what do you think the Lord wants you to do? Which man do you feel most at peace with when you think of a future with them?” Faizan asked.
Tears spilled down her face. “When I thought about my life with Stan ten years from now, I felt turmoil within me. I just knew that it would be the same as when we were married. He would cheat on me again. Plus, there was something else about him that I felt in my heart; something that wasn’t right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.”
Faizan nodded grimly. “And what about Frank, Trish? What did you sense in your heart about him?”
“A deep sense of peace washed over me. I knew my heart would be safe if I married him.” She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “I’m just not sure that Frank would want me after rejecting him so many times.”
“You’ll never know until you try, Trish.”
“Do you think I should call him now?”
“You definitely should,” Faizan said. He felt like breathing a huge sigh of relief. At last, Trisha was finally going to get rid of that Stan. He’d been so worried about her, but because he didn’t want to add to her distress, he had hidden his concerns. Thank you, Lord.
Trisha put her phone to her ear and then looked at him, a nervous expression on her face. “It’s ringing,” she whispered. Trisha’s eyes widened and she said, “Hello, Frank!” She blinked rapidly and didn’t say anything for a few seconds.
Faizan grew concerned at the despair on her face. “What is the matter?” he whispered as he looked at her.
She didn’t answer. She nodded, sighed loudly and then said, “Where did he go?” She didn’t speak for another minute, and finally said, “Thank you.” She ended the call and stared at her phone as though it had just bitten her.
“What is it, Trisha?” Faizan asked again.
“That was Frank’s business partner. He said Frank just upped and left the country last week. The guy is blaming me for Frank’s sudden decision to leave the United States. And I don’t blame him for doing so. I knew he was heartbroken when I rejected him, but I didn’t know it would lead to his leaving everything behind and moving away to another country.”
Faizan winced at the devastated look on her face. “It’s not your fault, Trisha. You can’t blame yourself for Frank’s decision, no matter what that guy on the phone said. People get rejected every day…” He suddenly couldn’t complete his sentence as he thought about Lauren. He’d rejected her too, but that was because he was in love with someone else.
Someone you can never be with, his mind taunted him.
“What is it?” Trisha asked.
He shook his head. This wasn’t about him now. It was about Trisha. “Nothing. Did you find out what country Frank moved to?”
Trisha shook her head, her eyes swimming with tears. “His business partner wouldn’t tell me.”
Faizan looked up, thinking. Finally, he said, “What about Audrey? She might know since she’s pretty close to Frank. And don’t tell me you are not speaking with her. You both need to put away this childish fight and…”
“Shhh! I’m calling her now,” Trisha said, quickly dialing Audrey’s number and then putting the phone to her ear.
“Hello, Audrey.” Trisha put the phone on speaker. “Faizan is here.”
“Well… if it isn’t the stubborn middle sister!”
Faizan shook his head and chuckled. “Audrey, you are so troublesome!”
Trisha didn’t appear to have heard Audrey’s jibe. Without wasting any time, she said, “Audrey, do you know where Frank moved to? His partner told me he has moved to another country.”
“What?” Audrey exclaimed. “Frank moved to another country? What is it with everyone moving these days, anyway?”
Faizan frowned and curiously asked, “Who else moved?”
“Never mind,” Audrey said. “Frank didn’t tell me he was moving. Oh Lord. You broke him, Trisha!”
Trisha sighed, guilt clearly written on her face.
“Stop, Audrey!” Faizan said. “That’s not fair.”
“It’s the truth. The last time I spoke to him, he didn’t sound like himself. I told Sienna that.” Audrey sighed. “Anyway, I’ll call his mom and see if she knows anything. Hopefully, she’ll be able to tell me where her son is.”
Trisha nodded. “Please get back to me after you speak with her.”
“Why do you even care?” Audrey asked in an angry tone.
“I care more than you’ll ever know,” Trisha answered.
After the call ended, Trisha looked at Faizan and sighed. “All I can do now is wait.”
Faizan nodded as he thought about Zainah and how he didn’t know where she was, either. All he and Trish could do now was wait and pray. But most of all, pray.
*****
After classes, Sienna walked to the Bible College chapel with her hand on her belly. She entered the chapel, which was empty as most students were either still in their classes or at the hostels. The college had already appointed another student chaplain to replace Bryan, but he still went to his old office almost every day and sometimes led the general evening prayers. She usually left him in school so she could go home, get dinner ready, and then rest up while she waited for him. Today, however, he was not leading the evening prayers and he didn’t have any meetings scheduled with Dr. Lincoln or any of the school administrators. She wanted them to go home together, as she missed doing that with him.
She made her way to his office, knocked once, and opened the door. She smiled as Bryan looked up from his Bible. She plopped down on the chair facing him.
His entire face lit up as he beamed. “Hey, babe! You’re here today!”
“Yes. I want us to go home together today.” She leaned forward and he kissed her on the lips.
“That would be really nice,” he smiled at her. “It’s been a while since we went home together.”
“It has,” she said. “I also want you to drive with me to Rosefield so I can tell everyone that we will be moving to South America in two weeks. As you know, I have already told Audrey, but I’ve decided it’s time to tell Trisha and Faizan.”
“It was ‘time’ a while ago, honey,” Bryan said, looking slightly amused.
“I know. I’ve been putting it off for so long. I called Faizan and Trish this morning to let them know that I have something to tell them. We are going to meet at our family house. I know Trish will kill me when she finds out there’s just two weeks left before the move. And it will be worse when she discovers that I have already told Audrey about it.” She sighed. “Without a doubt, Faizan will be disappointed that I didn’t inform him already.”
“Stop worrying about what your siblings will say,” Bryan said. “As long as you tell them now, it’s fine. I know they will be heartbroken, though.”
“They will,” Sienna said sadly.
Bryan smiled sympathetically at her. “I think we should leave now since we are first going to Rosefield.”
She nodded. “That would be a good idea.”
Bryan packed up his things and they left immediately. Sienna felt a heavy weight on her shoulders as they drove to Rosefield. She chatted with Bryan so she wouldn’t have to think about Trisha and Faizan’s reactions when she told them about her and Bryan’s imminent move.
They reached Rosefield way too quickly. Sienna exited the car after Bryan had parked in the driveway of her parents’ old house. She’d not been there since the year before. After Audrey and Ken had bought their new house and Faizan had also moved in there, there was no reason to come here. But she’d asked Trisha and Faizan to meet her here because she somehow wanted to feel close to her parents when she told her siblings about her news. She knew they were in heaven and not in the house, but somehow, it felt like she would also be sharing the news with them at the same time she
shared it with her siblings. Audrey had given her the key to the house the last time she’d visited Green Valley.
Sienna unlocked the door and Bryan took her hand. They entered the house together, and she was immediately struck by how old and musty it smelled. She immediately drew the curtains and opened the windows.
She went around the house opening all the windows and then finally came back to the living room. Bryan was sitting on the couch with his eyes closed and his head tilted back. She came and sat next to him and he opened his eyes.
She took his hand and squeezed it. “I’m nervous, Bryan. Trisha and Faizan won’t like the news I’m going to share with them at all.”
Bryan nodded. “I feel so guilty, being the one to uproot you out of your hometown and away from your family.”
He looked so remorseful that she immediately wanted to take away his guilt. She shook her head and cupped his cheeks. “You are not the one uprooting me from my family,” she said. “The Lord is… and He has His reasons. No matter how much I don’t like it, I know that His plans for me and you are always good.”
He smiled at her. She wanted to reassure him again that she didn’t blame him, but she held back for some reason. Her heart suddenly jumped as the door opened. Trisha came in with Faizan, and Sienna smiled at them even though her heart was thumping and her hands were clammy with anxiety.
Calm down, she told herself.
She stood up and hugged Trisha and then Faizan. After that, she sat next to Bryan again while Trisha and Faizan sat facing her.
Sienna leaned forward and decided not to beat around the bush. Since she had to tell them about her and Bryan’s move, she might as well tell them right now. Before she could speak, however, Faizan asked, “I thought you would wait for the weekend when Audrey and Ken are around to let us know what it is you want to tell us.”
Sienna glanced nervously at Trisha and then hesitantly said, “I have already told Audrey what I want to tell you guys.”
Trisha frowned but didn’t say anything.
Sienna began again, “So, guys, I asked you both here in order to tell you that…” she paused for a few seconds and sighed. She took Bryan’s hand and he whispered, “Do you want me to tell them?”
She quickly shook her head. “No, I’ll do it.”
“What is it, Sienna?” Trisha asked, her frown deepening. “You’re scaring me.”
Sienna smiled. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to let you guys know that Bryan and I will be moving.”
Faizan’s eyes grew wide.
Trisha’s face clouded with worry. She leaned forward and asked, “To where?”
Sienna took a deep breath and said, “To Peru.”
Trisha’s forehead furrowed as she said, “Peru… Peru, where is that?” Her eyes suddenly bulged and she shook her head. “No, no! You can’t be talking about Peru in South America!”
Faizan sat back in his seat and stared at her and Bryan with an inscrutable expression on his face.
Sienna nodded. “Yes, Trisha. That Peru.”
Trisha looked at her as though she had just said she was going to live on the moon. “Why in the world do you want to move to Peru?” She turned to Bryan. “What have you done? Was this your idea or my sister’s?”
Sienna placed a hand on Bryan’s arm so he wouldn’t say anything to Trisha. She said, “It’s my decision, Trish. Yes, Bryan got a ministry opportunity in South America, but I agreed to go because I know it’s God’s will for both of us.”
Trisha stood up and paced the living room. She looked down at Sienna after a minute and said, “You can’t go, Sienna! You told me you and Bryan were going to raise your kids here, and that they would grow up with me,” she pointed at Faizan, “and Faizan, and Audrey. What about Ruby? She won’t know her cousin.” She pointed at Sienna’s belly. “She probably won’t even know you.”
Sienna felt her anxiety increasing. These very reasons and more were why she’d been so against moving at first. Now that Trisha brought them back to her mind, moving away felt like a terrible thing to do. She turned to look at Faizan and the despair on his face pierced her heart. If only he would say something instead of just staring at me with that look on his face.
Trisha stopped pacing and stood in front of her. She asked in a small voice, “When will you both leave?”
Sienna shut her eyes, knowing what would come when she answered Trisha’s question. She opened her eyes and answered, “In two weeks.”
Faizan finally spoke. “What? Two weeks!”
Trisha slowly sat down on the coffee table and stared at Sienna.
Sienna looked away from her siblings, but still, she could feel their pain. Bryan squeezed her hand and she turned back to them. “I know this is hard. If either of you told me you were moving to another country, I know how I would feel. But, Trisha, remember how we felt when you told us you wanted to remarry Stan? In spite of our misgivings, at least, Faizan and I, we decided to support you. Can’t you do the same for me?”
“My decision to remarry Stan was a bad idea, Sienna. I just admitted that to myself recently.”
Sienna’s eyes widened in surprise. She took Trisha’s hand. “You’ve called off the wedding?”
Trisha sighed loudly. “I haven’t called it off. I realized Frank was the one I wanted to be with and wanted as a father for Ruby, but he has left the country. Not even Audrey knows where he is. She asked his parents where he’d moved to, but they wouldn’t tell her.”
“I’m sorry, Trish.”
Trish bit her lip and said, “I feel like I have to marry Stan now because I can’t leave Ruby without a father.”
“You don’t have to marry Stan for him to be a father to Ruby!” Sienna exclaimed.
“We’ve talked about this before. He won’t stick around if I don’t marry him.” Trisha shook her head. “But we are not talking about me right now. This is about you. Frank left the country, now you? Please, Sienna, say it isn’t so.”
“It is,” Sienna said.
“In two weeks!” Faizan said, his brows knit together.
Sienna slowly nodded. “Yes.”
Faizan turned to Bryan. “I know you can hear God’s voice clearly, my man, but are you really sure this is God’s will?”
Bryan nodded, the look on his face a mixture of sadness and conviction. “I am sure.”
Faizan sighed with a look of resignation on his face. “Then we can’t change their minds, Trisha. We need to accept it.”
Sienna felt heartbroken for Faizan. He’d told her about the woman he loved and the vow she’d made to God which now kept them from being together. He probably would feel like the Lord was out to separate him from everyone dear to him. At least, that was how she would feel if she were him.
Trisha suddenly grabbed her and hugged her tight. “I’ll miss you,” she cried.
Sienna put her arm around her sister and then couldn’t hold back her tears. “I’ll miss you too.”
Faizan put his arms around both of them and they wept together. Sienna suddenly remembered Bryan and gasped. He would feel left out. She turned to him and beckoned for him to come close. She pulled him into their hug and they all stayed that way for a long time.
At last, they separated and they talked about the preparations Sienna and Bryan had made for their move. Two hours later, Faizan and Trisha left, but not before promising to come to Green Valley to visit Sienna daily until she and Bryan were ready to leave.
That night, as they lay in bed, Bryan said to Sienna, “I was afraid that Faizan and Trisha would attack me from the way they looked at me when you told them about the move.”
Sienna wrapped her arms around him. “They were just really upset. I don’t think they blame you.”
“I’m not so sure about that. If looks could kill, I would definitely be dead now. I think they do blame me. I know you feel really bad as well, but I love you for being such a supportive wife.”
Sienna drew him even closer and kissed him passionately. If she couldn’t
reassure him that she didn’t hold their imminent move against him with her words, then she would with her kisses. He clung to her as they kissed. When they pulled up for air, he said, “Wow! That was some kiss!”
She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair. “I hope you know now that I don’t hold anything against you.”
He nodded and kissed her hair. “I love you with all my heart.”
“I love you too.” She shut her eyes and sighed in contentment. “I love being in your arms.”
Half an hour later, as he slept soundly and she gazed at him, she wondered if it was really true that she didn’t blame him for the move. There was a small part of her that she had been trying to suppress that resented him for even bringing up the move to Peru. It was unreasonable to blame him when it was clearly the Lord who wanted them to go to South America, but it didn’t change the fact that a tiny part of her did. And not just him, but the Lord. She didn’t understand why He had to tear her away from her family.
“Please help me to trust You,” she prayed silently. She looked at Bryan’s face and added, “And please help me not to hold anything against my husband.” She sighed, worriedly, knowing what suppressed resentment could cause. If she kept the resentment, no matter how small, one day she would wake up in Peru and despise Bryan for taking her away from everything she knew. She didn’t want that.
She looked at Bryan again and whispered, “If only we could stay here.” She shut her eyes as she remembered Trisha and Faizan’s reaction to her news. She felt her resentment grow and she prayed desperately again, “Lord, please help me.”
But the resentment didn’t leave. Instead, as she tossed and turned throughout the night, unable to sleep, the resentment grew. The next morning, she got up before Bryan did and hurriedly got dressed. Without waking him up, she left a note that read: Gone to Rosefield to spend the day with my siblings.
She left the house quickly.
As she drove to Rosefield, she realized that for the first time in a long while, she had not kissed her husband in the morning, neither had she told him she loved him in the note she’d left. She thought about turning back to do so, but it was too late now. Besides, she didn’t feel like kissing him or telling him that she loved him. Once she got home that night, though, she would do that.