Emotional Beats
Page 4
He quirked a smile.
A grin creased his face.
She smirked.
An involuntary twitch cracked the edges of his mouth.
His lips curled upwards.
“Yes?” she prompted, smiling beatifically [blissful happiness, ecstatically].
He flashed her a grin.
A smile creased his face.
He wore a wide grin.
She cracked a grin.
He shot me a roguish grin.
Damn if that frown didn't turn upside down.
Her brittle smile belied the sentiment of her words.
His smile fell away.
…coaxing a grin from him
A cocked smile appeared on his thin lips.
In a flash, her pouting lips stretched into a beaming smile.
A smile tugged a corner of her mouth upward.
His smile widened.
His mouth twisted into a smile/grin.
She favored his words with a barely visible upturn at the corners of her mouth.
He allowed himself a grin.
She winked as she left, winning her a broad grin from him.
His lips spread and his eyes crinkled in a grateful expression.
A ghost of a smile crossed his lips.
His grin returned.
A smile warmed his lips.
A satisfied smile raced across her face.
He pursed his lips together in a faint smile and nodded.
His grin got caught up in the dim light.
His laugh came soft, almost girlish.
Her smile came warm and dreamy.
A grin curled around her full lips like a lazy cat settling in a puddle of midday sunshine.
His grin softened into a genuine smile.
A smile quirked her lips.
Sadness
* * *
Characters will often experience sadness. Many will cry (see next), but some may display their sadness with a relaxation of the muscles. For example:
He hunched.
She slouched.
Her shoulders sagged.
His shoulders slumped.
She wilted.
He went limp.
He yawned.
The whole world seemed to be moving in slow motion. She felt like she was walking in a dream world; a horrific, nightmarish dream world.
He heard a roaring in his ears and lost track of what others were saying [this is also a physical manifestation of unbearable grief].
Her heart stuttered, and there was this falling, spinning-down feeling.
His face sagged.
He lowered his head.
She hung her head.
She bowed her head.
Her countenance tumbled into a dark thing.
Crying
Joy, sadness, exhaustion. The reasons behind a character’s tears can be numerous. So, what kind of crying is your character experiencing? Here are some common ways of crying, that will allow you to use the perfect word for each occasion*:
Bawl: This is an unattractive, loud crying that is characterized by mutters, truncated, erratic breathing, clenched facial expressions, and a hunched posture.
Howl: This heavy crying results in an inability to speak or produce sounds even resembling words.
Lament: This kind of crying comes from grief, regret or sorrow.
Silent Tears: This is a soft, inaudible crying that does not draw attention. Try to avoid displaying it as a single tear rolling down one’s cheek, as this has been overused and is considered a cliché.
Sob: In a sense, this is the opposite of the silent tears. It is heavy crying with a large volume of tears flowing steadily. It does not have to be inappropriately loud, but it is characterized by the noisy intake of breaths.
Snivel: Audible but soft crying. It usually indicates the presence of drool or mucus.
Squall: A loud cry signifying emotional distress. It is usually associated with infants or very young children.
Wail: The distinguishing feature of wailing is the high pitch.
Weep: A gentler version of sobbing. It involves a soft, steady stream of tears.
Whimper: Soft and irregular crying. There are usually few or no tears.
Whine: Crying in distress, or in a high-pitched, complaining manner.
* See also Ways to Describe Crying.
Sighs
A sigh escaped his lips.
He released an old man’s sigh.
A groan accompanied the roll of his eyes.
His shoulders dropped with a sigh.
He stood there shaking, a low groaning sound bubbling from his mouth.
Pain
* * *
What good is a story with no drama? Characters will inevitably experience discomfort. Sure, they can moan and groan to your heart’s content, but there are so many better ways of making the pain palpable.
She tried to prop herself up on her right elbow, but it collapsed under her, sending lances of stabbing pain to shoot up her shoulder.
He rubbed the stubble on his head, avoiding the tender knot.
His skull felt like an eggshell.
His face started to ache. Dully at first, then in hot stabs.
A dull headache formed behind his brow.
His expression was drawn in agony, but not over his own pain.
His legs flared with fiery slices of pain.
Pain funneled into her heart.
His arms were covered in bruises, his knees a maze of grazes and cuts.
His eyes rolled back into his head. His teeth gnawed until his lips bled.
Spasms racked his muscles until it seemed his bones would snap.
Her headache was a hostile squatter occupying every inch of her head.
His expression was drawn in agony, but not over his own pain.
Surprise
* * *
Everyone loves a twist, right? Which is why your characters will probably be surprised rather often. Here are some ways to describe that:
He shot up an eyebrow.
He whipped his head around.
“What?” she asked with a tilt of her head, as if listening to music only she could hear.
She clamped her mouth shut, but her jaw went slack when she saw him. “You!”
She arched a questioning eyebrow in his direction.
His face remained a plank of wood, his amazement hidden by a slow breath.
He raised his eyebrows at her in disbelief.
His mouth slackened.
A question kept gnawing at her.
He gazed to one side as if playing back the memory in his mind.
Her eyes widened.
Her eyebrows shot to her hairline.
Her eyebrows arched.
Her lips thinned. She craned her neck to get a view of her back.
Her head whipped around so fast, she heard a crack.
She slapped a hand over her mouth.
She covered her mouth with her hand.
She pressed a hand to her throat.
She slapped her forehead.
He smacked his forehead.
He facepalmed.
She slapped a hand over her mouth.
Her eyes widened.
Her jaw slackened.
He cocked an eyebrow in surprise.
She looked at him with folded arms and raised eyebrows.
Her eyes popped wide.
The subtle rise of his eyebrow put a giggle in her belly.
Worry
* * *
A simple “he frowned” is the easiest way to portray a troubled character. It can get overused rather fast, though. Consider instead some of these alternatives to portray worry:
Frowns
Dissatisfaction plowed his brow.
Up went his eyebrows.
One heavy eyebrow slanted in strong disapproval.
His expression slid into a frown.
His brow furrowed.
Her knitted eyebrows told me she did not believe me.
>
Her forced nod of agreement told me I had failed to convince her.
His forehead creased with worry.
He had a little furrow between his eyebrows as he thought.
A deep frown crossed / creased his brow.
He scrunched his nose.
Her face scrunched up in worry.
He wrinkled his nose.
A worried expression marred her face.
He knitted his eyebrows.
Her furrowed brow told me she was beginning to worry.
There was a deep-set frown on her face.
His eyes narrowed as his eyebrows pulled together.
His eyebrows drew together in an anguished expression.
His eyebrows pulled together in question.
“This is bad,” she muttered, lines in between her eyebrows.
Her brow puckered threateningly.
His brow furrowed as his mouth turned grim.
His brow knitted into a frown.
Bushy eyebrows beetled.
She furrowed her brow, alarm bells ringing in her head.
Her forehead creased with concern.
He knitted his eyebrows together in puzzlement.
Worry lined his forehead.
A deep furrow got tangled in his brow.
His brow furrowed as if ideas bumped headlong into his mind.
Signs of trouble
Except for a frown, you can use any of the following to depict a troubled character:
She rocked back and forth.
His head lowered, he watched his feet step one after the other, his hands clasped behind his back to keep from trembling.
Slowly, he rose to his feet and proceeded to walk with hands clasped behind his back.
He covered his eyes with a hand.
She pressed her fingers to her lips.
He held his finger up to his lips.
He rubbed his chin.
His face fell the slightest bit.
She reclined on the sofa and pressed her fingertips against her shut eyes, like they might roll off, should she lose diligence.
Her spine jerked her upright.
He forced his spine upright.
PART 2: BODY PARTS
The eyes have it
* * *
As the saying goes, eyes are the window to the soul. They are also a writer’s best friend, as they can convey a wide variety of emotions. The only thing you need to watch out for is using overworn words: doesn’t “he gaped, unable to peel his gaze off the woman” sound better than “he stared at her”?
Her eyelids fluttered shut.
A flash of movement caught her eye.
Her eyes clouded.
He blinked owlishly.
She blinked with feigned innocence.
Her eyes rolled skyward.
Her eyes wandered.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him.
She slammed her eyes shut.
She squeezed her eyes shut.
Disapproval gleamed in her eyes.
She gave him an incredulous look.
She treated him with a look of unmitigated disappointment.
Her icy gaze stumbled upon him.
Rheumy grey eyes picked apart the girl’s dress.
His head tossed his gaze this way and that, like he had plenty to say but not enough time to say it.
He looked, she looked
I know it’s really easy to say, “he looked at her,” but you may also consider some of the alternatives. After all, there are so many other lovely words, like:
gaze,
glance,
surveyed,
glared,
raked,
searched,
watched,
scanned
inspected,
inventoried,
probed,
watched.
How do I look?
An easy way to depict an emotion is to describe the look on a character’s face. So, just what kind of looks are there? Here is a selection:
Absent: when your character is thinking of something else, or wishes they were elsewhere.
Appealing: when your character appeals to another.
Beatific: an extremely happy and peaceful expression.
Black: used when your character is angry or unhappy.
Bleak: a cold and forbidding expression.
Bored: like an absent expression, only stronger.
Brooding: when your character has something in their mind and is mulling it over.
Bug-eyed: a character who’s surprised, or caught unawares.
Dark: much like a black expression, this signifies an angry or unhappy character.
Deadpan: a character who’s pretending to be serious, when they are, in fact, joking.
Doleful: a sad expression.
Dreamy: much like an absent look, a dreamy look signifies that your character is thinking of something else; something more pleasant than their current situation.
Etched: when a feeling is etched on someone’s face, it is perceived as intense.
Expressionless: when your character wishes to hide their feelings.
Faint: The opposite of etched; a feeling that barely registers.
Fixed: an expression that does not change or look natural. It can signify brain damage, or simply a lack of empathy.
Glazed: it indicates a bored character.
Glowering: a furious character.
Grave: a solemn expression. It can indicate a character who’s worried or scared.
Haunted: a character who’s spooked by something.
Meaningful: characters exchange meaningful looks to avoid putting their thoughts into words.
Mischievous: much like Loki, this is a character who enjoys causing trouble.
Mona Lisa: like the enigmatic smile of Da Vinci’s famous painting.
Pained: a character who’s expressing something that causes them anguish—physical or emotional.
Pitying: it can indicate genuine pity, but also that your character does not think someone deserves better.
Pleading: when your character pleads with someone to get their way.
Poker: Much like an expressionless look, this signifies a character who wishes to hide their feelings.
Quizzical: a character who’s confused or surprised.
Radiant: an extremely happy expression.
Roguish: a roguish expression suggests an individual who does not mind doing something wrong, as long as it’s not harmful.
Sardonic: a sardonic character makes fun of others and shows them no respect.
Set: like a fixed look, a set expression may hide your character’s actual thoughts.
Shamefaced: your character feels shame about something.
Slack-jawed: like a bug-eyed look, this is a very surprised character.
Sly: used when your character knows something that others do not.
Straight-faced: when something funny has happened, but your character does not wish to laugh.
Sullen: a (teenage, usually) character who is in a dark mood and does not want to talk.
Surly: like sullen, this is a character who is upset.
Taut: a nervous or angry character.
Thoughtful: describes someone lost in thought.
Tight-lipped: may indicate someone who is annoyed about something, but also someone who wishes to make no comment.
Unblinking: an intense stare, where a character does not blink at all.
Unnatural: like a fixed look, it can indicate brain damage, or simply a lack of empathy.
Unreadable: like an expressionless look, it shows a character who does not wish to share what they are thinking.
Vacant: like bored or absent, it describes a character who is not paying attention. It may also show someone who can’t understand something.
Wan: a very sad and tired expression.
Wide-eyed: like bug-eyed, it indicates surprise or fear.
Withering: a withering look deliberately makes a char
acter feel silly or embarrassed.
Wolfish: a character with a wolfish expression is intending others harm.
Wry: a character who thinks something is funny, but not necessarily pleasant.
Facial expressions
* * *
Besides the usual way of describing an expression—he had an X look on his face—there is another, more elegant one:
A relieved look washed over his face.
She turned to me, her face lighting up as she spoke.
A shadow came over his face.
His emotions flitted across his face.
Darkness crossed his face.
A pained look marred his face.
She had a mischievous look plastered on her face.
Her brittle smile belied the sentiment of her words.
Do you hear what I hear?
* * *
Sound is a particularly evocative sense that can be used to bring any scene to life. For example, a single sentence like, “computers beeped, phones shrilled, and printers whirred” conveys all the bustle in a modern office.
A shutter banged against the frame.
A car door slammed.
A dog howled in the distance.
The motor stuttered and whined.
The ceiling fan whirred.
The rope clanked rhythmically against the flagpole.
Computers beeped, phones shrilled, and printers whirred.
Waves hissed against the shore.
Waves thumped against the hull.
Thunder rumbled.
The wind whined.
Rodent feet scurried.
Water gurgled in the drainpipe.
A dog barked in the distance.
On the farm, I heard… the whoosh of cars speeding by on the highway.
the wind rustling through the leaves of trees.
the crunch and crack of twigs and seeds fallen from the trees under foot.
the sudden banging of a storm door.
the screeching scrape of a tree branch on the metal of the barn.