Swamp Happens: The Complete Swamp Bottom Series

by Cora Kenborn

  I adjusted my tie for what felt like the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes as I ascended the steps to Savannah and Addie’s front door. I shouldn’t be nervous, but I couldn’t help my heart hammering in my chest like a Metallica drum beat. I wiped the sweat from my forehead as I came to a stop at the door. It was only June, but the humid Louisiana air hung heavy all around, and my dress blues weren’t exactly breathable. Reaching out, I pressed the doorbell, willing my hands not to shake.

  Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t the prospect of my parents meeting Savannah that set my nerves on edge. Instead, it was the idea of seeing her in the environment I grew up in. It was the Policeman’s Ball, but it was also a charity fundraiser and a political platform for my father, which meant he was going to push his agenda. I just hoped Savannah felt the same way about me at the end of the night after discovering where I came from.

  Muffled shouts came from behind the closed door, and the sound of a crash had me trying to peer into the side windows. Before I could get a good look at what was going on inside, the front door flew open to reveal a pale and slightly rumpled Addie. I’d seen the woman drunk and hungover, but I’d never seen the faintly crazed expression she now wore.

  Reaching out, she pulled me over the threshold. “Oh, thank God!”

  Worry started to creep in and overshadow my anxiety. “Is something wrong? Where’s Savannah?”

  “She’s fine. I’m the one who needs a Xanax and case of wine.”

  “Uh, Addie? I’m fairly sure you’re not supposed to mix prescription medication and alcohol.”

  She waved me off and started back toward the hallway. “It’s just a figure of speech. Stay here, I’ll get her.”

  That was the strangest figure of speech I’d ever heard, but then again, I’d met their grandmother and probably shouldn’t be surprised.

  Addie emerged from the darkened hallway a moment later. “May I present my greatest work, Miss Savannah Dubois!” She made a Vanna White gesture toward the empty hallway and held it. When nothing happened, and there was no sign of Savannah, she glared into the darkness. “Savannah,” she hissed. “Get your ass out here!”

  Nothing.

  Expletives I didn’t even know Addie knew tumbled from her lips, and she stomped back into the hallway only to immediately reemerge dragging a panicked looking Savannah. Despite the expression of unease on her face, she looked flawless.

  Like a doll.

  Her lightened wavy locks had been tamed into perfectly smooth curls and pinned so that the heavy fall of her hair was gathered to one side, practically defying gravity. She wore more makeup than the bit of mascara and lipstick she usually favored. The naturally tanned flush and the adorable freckles that dotted her nose and cheeks were nowhere to be found. Instead, they were replaced by a smooth porcelain canvas painted with coral blush and bright red lips. Her eyelids were heavy with fake lashes and so much glitter eyeshadow it looked like she had disco balls for eyes every time she blinked.

  The only thing that looked remotely like her was the dress she wore. It was army green and made from a flowing material that had a deep plunging neckline. The straps of the dress were thin, and as she turned around, I saw that they crossed, making a large X across her otherwise bare back. The dress complemented her tanned skin and was exactly her style.

  She slightly stumbled as she completed her twirl, and I caught sight of a pair of sparkly heels in the swish of her long skirt. They were the heavy knife slicing through my last bit of restraint and patience.

  White hot rage crawled up my spine, and I felt the shift in the room that my mood had caused. Clenching my jaw tight, I marched straight for Savannah, not slowing my pace as I approached. With a growl, I bent down and lifted her over my shoulder in a fireman’s hold.

  “Pope!” she screeched, but I didn’t pay any attention.

  I kept going, all the way to the bathroom, kicking the door shut behind us before setting her down on the counter. Turning the faucet on, I waited for it to warm up without saying a word.

  “Babe, what’s going on?”

  My eyes flashed to hers, and I saw worry there. I didn’t want Savannah to think that I was upset with her, but I didn’t trust myself to speak yet. I cupped her cheeks in my hands and laid a soft kiss on her forehead, letting her know without words that she wasn’t the issue. Ripping a hand towel off the shelf, I ran it under the now warm water and wrung it out before handing it to her.

  “Wipe it off.”

  She gave me a confused look but took the towel as offered. “Wipe what off?”

  “All of it. The crap that’s caked all over your face. I want to see you not makeup.”

  Savannah’s breath caught, and I watched in horror as tears started to form in her eyes. I opened my mouth to explain, but before I could say anything, she reached out and snagged me around the neck with her free hand, pulling me in for a kiss I felt all the way to my bones. My hands immediately found her waist and slid around to rest on the smooth expanse of her bare back. I rested my forehead on hers as we pulled away long enough to catch our breath.

  “I think you need this more than I do now,” she giggled, handing me the wet washcloth.

  I moved to look past her in the mirror only to discover that I could’ve given Heath Ledger’s Joker a run for his money with the bright red lipstick smeared across my face. As I scrubbed my mouth, Savannah reached over to the shelf and pulled down a package of wipes, going to work on her own face.

  Setting the washcloth down on the counter beside her, I stepped back and took first one foot and then the other in my hand and removed the five-inch heels from her feet, tossing them haphazardly in the corner of the bathroom. She groaned when I stopped to rub the arch of each foot. If they were that uncomfortable before she even left the house, how did she think she was going to be able to handle wearing them the entire night?

  Next, I went to work on her hair, pulling the pins out one by one until her hair cascaded across her shoulders. I ran my fingers through the curls, breaking up the gunk she’d sprayed on it until it more closely resembled the messy waves she usually wore. By the time I’d finished with her hair, her face was clean, and those little freckles I loved so much were back.

  “There she is,” I whispered, cupping her face in my hands again.

  “You could’ve just said you didn’t like the makeup instead of going all caveman on me, you know.”

  I chuckled and gave her an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. It’s just…” I struggled to find the right words. I didn’t want her to think she’d done something wrong. “I don’t want you to pretend to be anything you aren’t. I could tell you were uncomfortable, and I didn’t like it.”

  She smirked at me, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “I picked up on that. But, babe, while I appreciate you looking out for me, I don’t have any shoes that go with this dress.”

  I shrugged. “Wear your boots.”

  She blinked at me then tilted her head in consideration. “That might work.”

  “You’ll be beautiful no matter what,” I murmured, kissing her forehead once again.

  Pushing me away, she hopped off the counter and steered me toward the door. “Okay, get out so I can fix my makeup. Don’t worry, just my usual makeup,” she added when she caught my worried look.

  I opened the door to find a very pissed off Addie on the other side, arms crossed over her chest and foot tapping rhythmically on the hardwood floor. I could’ve sworn I saw the whites of her eyes turn red when she caught sight of Savannah behind me.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me! Do you have any idea how long it took me to get her looking perfect? All for you to just waltz in here and fuck it all up for a quick screw in the bathroom?”

  I stepped out in front of her and shut the bathroom door behind me, closing Savannah in the bathroom and taking the brunt of Addie’s rage.

  “Why would you—”

  I held up my hands to stop her tirade. “It wasn’t her.”

  Add
ie’s mouth stopped moving, her face frozen in surprise. “What?”

  I ran a hand over the back of my head and squeezed my neck, trying to relieve some of the tension there. “That wasn’t my Savannah. That was someone trying to pretend to be someone they aren’t. She’s meeting my parents and everyone I work with for the first time tonight, and it’s important to me that she meet them as the person I fell for. Not some painted doll version of herself.”

  Addie’s eyes narrowed on me, and her lips pursed in displeasure. “I really hate I can’t be mad about that. You still owe me for fucking up my hard work though,” she growled, pointing her finger at me.

  I nodded and flashed her a smile. “You got it.”

  “What do you think?” Savannah’s voice called from behind me.

  I spun around to see her leaning against the bathroom door. She’d ditched the fake lashes and re-applied some eyeliner and mascara, but the rest of her face remained clean of makeup. I felt the grin crawl over my face.

  She looked perfect.

  My kind of perfect.

  35

  A Formal Inquisition

  Pope

  New Orleans, Louisiana

  “What are your thoughts on turquoise hair? Oh, or maybe lavender. That’d be cute.”

  Briefly taking my eyes off the traffic in front of us, I glanced over at the beautiful woman next to me. “You’re going to dye your hair?”

  She twirled a loose strand between her fingers and examined it. “Maybe. I kinda like the mermaid hair thing, and I’m ready for a new hairstyle. This is boring.”

  I rolled my lips and looked up toward the heavens as if I could speak directly to the man upstairs. The one who’d quite literally dropped this woman at my feet not six months ago. She was perfect, but also impossible to keep up with. “You just put blonde in it a few weeks ago, and you’re already bored?”

  “Pretty much. Besides, I’m part owner of a fishing business. Mermaid hair totally goes with the theme. Why? You don’t like the idea of me coloring my hair?” The defiance in her tone told me that if I disapproved, I could take my opinion and shove it straight up my ass because she’d never have a natural hair color again for as long as she lived. Savannah was nothing if not independent.

  Reaching across the cab of the jeep, I took her hand in mine and gave it a little squeeze. “As long as you don’t start wearing a shell bra to work, I think we’ll be fine.”

  I needed to tell her about my parents before she got blindsided, but every time I tried to get the words out, my mouth went dry and my throat closed-up. I had no idea how she’d handle the news. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t give two shits about my family’s net worth, but the fact that I’d kept it from her? Yeah, that wouldn’t go over too well.

  Letting go of her hand, I reached for my Coke, needing something to quench my sudden and excruciating thirst.

  “So, does that mean you wouldn’t be opposed to a tail?”

  Her comment was so unexpected that I legitimately snorted, spewing Coke through my nostrils and all over my dress blues. I pinched the bridge of my nose to stave off the burn and glared at her from the corner of my eye as she folded in half, laughing hysterically.

  “Oh, sweet baby Jesus! I’ve never seen anyone do that in real life,” she cried, digging her phone out of the minuscule silver purse Addie lent her. “Holy shit, you look like a mess. I’m so putting this on Instagram.”

  “I’m glad I could amuse you.”

  “Me and the world, darling. I’m going to tag you in it.”

  “And how are you going to do that? I don’t have an Instagram profile.”

  She shrugged. “I made one for you a few months ago. Your handle is OfficerMcHottie. You’ve already got three thousand followers.”

  This woman knew no boundaries.

  “Were you going to let me in on this little tidbit of information?”

  “Eventually. Probably. Maybe?” The last one came out more like a question than a statement.

  Savannah looked back down at her phone, clicking away as if she didn’t have a care in the world. There was an innocence about her that made me want to both light her on fire and hold her at the same time. As infuriating as her blatant disregard for personal boundaries was, it was also endearing.

  “Oh, you’re definitely a Juno.”

  “I’m a what?” I was getting whiplash from this conversation and needed to steer us back to the events of tonight before I ran out of time to tell her about my family.

  “It’s the filter. Trust me, it brings out your eyes.” Typing furiously, she glanced up with a satisfied grin. “And done! Hashtag—my boyfriend just snorted Coke.”

  “Hell no!” I exclaimed, reaching out to snatch the phone from her hand, a move which caused me to swerve and almost hit a Prius. Would’ve served him right. Who the hell drove a Prius in the deep South?

  She clutched her phone to her chest and glared at me. “Calm down, turbo. What’s your malfunction?”

  I ran a hand over my buzzed head. Sometimes, she just didn’t get it. “I’m a cop, Savannah. You can’t post shit like that.”

  “Okay, fine. That’s all you had to say. You didn’t need to get all growly and grabby.”

  My irritation melted away, and my lips quirked up in a smirk. “You like it when I’m growly and grabby.”

  “Yeah, when impending orgasms are on the horizon, not when I’m about to get third-degree burns from the fire you’re breathing.”

  I let out a defeated sigh as the tail lights shining in front of me brought us to yet another standstill. “You’re right—”

  Savannah’s over exaggerated groan of pleasure cut me off. “Oh yes, baby, say it again!”

  Reaching out, I tucked a wild strand of hair behind her ear before focusing back on the road. “I’m sorry I snapped. I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now, and it’s not fair of me to take it out on you.”

  “What is it?” she asked dubiously.

  “There’s something I need to tell you.” I spared a glance at her in the fading evening light. Her brows pulled together in concern, and I wasn’t sure I could ease her worry.

  Instead of prompting me further, she settled back into her seat and just stared at me expectantly. That was the thing about Savannah; she wasn’t like any woman I’d ever met. Sure, she was full of energy and could talk a mile a minute, but she also knew when to wait it out. There was something about her that made you want to spill your guts, and something in her eyes that assured you all your secrets would be safe with her.

  I can do this. Everything will be fine.

  “It’s about my parents.”

  When I didn’t elaborate, she laid her hand on my thigh and gave it a squeeze, letting me know she was listening.

  “Well, you know tonight is also a fundraiser for the police outreach program, right?”

  “Yes, what does that have to do with your parents?”

  Nothing, but also everything.

  My father planned to make a sizable donation to the program at the ball, which he hoped would gain him political leverage with the commissioner. He didn’t give a shit about helping underprivileged youth in the city. All he cared about was securing a stepping stone to the governor’s mansion.

  “It’s not exactly typical for the parents of a beat cop to attend. In fact, their invitation had nothing to do with my position on the force.”

  “Okay, I’m not following.”

  I took a deep breath and braced myself for her reaction. “My father is William Pope.”

  “Still not following.”

  “Senator William Pope.”

  Savannah waved a dismissive hand in my direction. “Oh, that. Yeah, I know.”

  “You knew? And you didn’t tell me?”

  She pinned me with a look that sent ice through my veins. “How long have you known what your father did and didn’t tell me?”

  Ouch.

  Savannah—one.

  Pope—zilch.

  I scrubbed a ha
nd over my face, trying to elevate the intense guilt her words brought on. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I should have.”

  “Yes, you should have, but to be fair, I’ve only known for about a week.”

  What the hell?

  “How?”

  She shifted in her seat, turning her body to face me more fully. The cop in me wanted to tell her that sitting like that could result in death or serious injury should we get into an accident, but the dickhead boyfriend who’d been lying to her for the past six months thought it best to keep my damn mouth shut.

  “I finally caved and Googled you. You’d be amazed at what you can find out when you have the full capacity of the Internet at your fingertips. By that time, you’d already made plans to introduce me to them, so I figured you’d gotten over whatever reservations you had about me meeting your family. I didn’t feel I needed to mention it. I’ll be honest though, telling me three blocks from the hotel is cutting it pretty close.”

  Fuck.

  She thought I was ashamed of her, which was the exact opposite of reality. “I don’t want you to think it has anything to do with you. My father is a grade-A asshole, and I didn’t want you to have to deal with him.”

  “You don’t have to sugarcoat it to make me feel better. I get it. Your family is loaded, and you’re slumming it with the girl from the swamp. I saw what happened with my sister. The difference is that you’re nothing like Shit Stain. You just needed time to accept the fact that your family is going to hate me.”

  “My mom and sister will love you,” I argued. It was the truth. They both would adore Savannah. My father, on the other hand, would be the biggest prick known to man.

  “And your father?”

  “To be honest, I don’t give two fucks what my father thinks. I only tolerate being in the same room as him because of my mother and sister. If it weren’t for them, I’d write him off for good.”