Swamp Happens: The Complete Swamp Bottom Series

by Cora Kenborn

“Slightly?”

  “Don’t push it,” I said, repeating her warning.

  Throwing her head back, she let out that carefree giggle that made Savannah, Savannah. There was no one in the world like my sister, and even after all the shit she’d gotten me into, there was no one else in the world I’d rather have by my side. Tearing up unexpectedly, I quickly ran a finger under my eyes, wiping away the evidence before she could call me out for being a pussy.

  “Anyway,” I rasped, clearing my throat, “all I’ve ever wanted for you is someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated. Pope’s a good guy, and he loves you unconditionally, pig and all. This is forever for you, Sav.”

  Forever.

  The word made me think about what Zep had said while we were in Vegas.

  Forever is just a word. Anyone can make a promise, but it takes a real man to deliver one.

  He’d deliver. I had no doubt.

  I was no longer running from a failed marriage or running away from a lost love.

  I wasn’t even running toward him. I’d already fallen.

  Hard.

  Fast.

  Forever.

  Savannah bit her lip, cocking her head and staring at me curiously for a few seconds before speaking. “I could say the same for you, you know. I’ve never made a secret about how I felt about Roland, how all of us felt about him.” Rising from her chair, she plopped her ass on my desk, swinging her legs around until she sat cross-legged in front of me. “We tolerated him out of respect for you, but he never deserved you. Money can buy a lot, but it can’t buy a soul. Zep has his faults. I mean, he’s stubborn, obnoxious, and at times too cocky for his own good…”

  “Is this your idea of a pep talk?”

  “I’m getting there. But that soul I mentioned? He has one, and it’s always belonged to you. No one will ever love you more than he does. He’s the real deal, Ads. Don’t fuck this up.”

  Resting my elbow on my desk, I balanced my chin in my palm and squinted up at her. “It’s kind of funny, you know.”

  “What’s funny?”

  “Well, I wanted security and status, so I married Roland. You dated every deadbeat within a six-hundred-mile radius.”

  She met my gaze and raised an eyebrow. “And that’s funny, how?”

  “I don’t know, Sav. I guess just how life turns out like you least expect it to.” Reaching for her left hand, I held it and ran my thumb over her massive engagement ring. “Now you’re the one marring into old money, and I’m having a baby with a man who’s happy surviving paycheck to paycheck.”

  We both stared at the glittering diamond for a while before she lifted her chin up and smiled. “Everything’s falling into place, isn’t it? The worst is finally behind us.”

  I hesitated to agree with her. Every time I’ve thought that, the other shoe dropped and shattered my world to pieces. However, this time, I couldn’t help feeling like life had finally given the Dubois sisters a pass. Maybe this was our happily ever after. Maybe it was time to stop holding on so tightly to the past and just let forever happen.

  I squeezed her hand and smiled. “I guess it is.”

  66

  All Aboard The Party Train

  Savannah

  New Orleans, Louisiana

  PREGNANT SISTER-BEAST: Are you almost here???

  PREGNANT SISTER-BEAST: Savannah, I swear to GOD if you don’t get your ass here soon…

  PREGNANT SISTER-BEAST: Babs is telling Jacquelyn about the time you danced naked under the full moon praying to the swamp gods for Lucas Barry to ask you to homecoming.

  ME: SHIT! I’m almost there. Make her stop!

  I pressed the gas pedal a little harder, forcing the old truck to lurch forward on the highway. The past two and a half weeks had been a whirlwind of chaos. Zep and I had finally convinced Addie to go to the doctor. In actuality, we’d kidnapped her and threatened to hire Duck full-time if she didn’t comply.

  Much to our relief and dismay, she’d walked out with a smug ass expression on her face and announced that her obstetrician had confirmed her suspicions of Braxton Hicks. While we were all thankful nothing was wrong with Charlie, it made it increasingly difficult to convince Addie to take it easy. She was coming up on thirty-four weeks, which meant my nephew was almost fully cooked, yet she hadn’t slowed down a bit.

  Between DuBlanc, the wedding, and her constant arguing with Zep, it was a miracle she hadn’t shit out the kid on the breakroom floor. Despite my worry for my big sister, I was thankful for her help with the wedding planning.

  I’d thought I’d covered all my bases, but I was woefully wrong. There were calls and emails from vendors to return and fittings to go to that I never knew existed. I hadn’t realized how fickle wedding dress sizing was. Who knew a buffet and a few yard-sized drinks in Vegas could cause me to need to have my dress taken out?

  Addie, that’s who.

  She’d been a godsend helping me out with all the little details I hadn’t even thought about. Like the dinner with Pope’s mom and sister that I was currently speeding to get to. Since I hadn’t had a bridal shower, Addie had suggested that we have dinner instead. She said it would give us all a chance to bond since we were going to be family in less than a week. Needless to say, I was nervous as shit. I’d changed six times trying to find the perfect outfit. I wanted something demure, but still me.

  It frustrated me to no end how I continued to be nervous around Jacquelyn. She’d done nothing but welcome me with open arms, yet I couldn’t get past the worry that her diabolical husband would somehow get into her head and turn her against me. The senator was not a fan, that much had been obvious the only time I’d met him. I wasn’t even sure he was going to the wedding. No one else seemed to care one way or the other, least of all Pope, but it nagged at me. The man was his father after all. Not that I needed his blessing or anything, but joining a family where the patriarch despised you wasn’t something I’d envisioned as a little girl planning to marry my prince charming.

  They don’t give two shits, so, why should I?

  I glanced up, taking a momentary break from my hurricane of thoughts and realized I almost missed my exit. Checking my mirrors, I held my breath and prayed as I cut across two lanes of traffic and zoomed down the off-ramp. I tapped the steering wheel along with the music while being forced to stop at every red light on the way to the restaurant. By the grace of God, I got there just fifteen minutes late, which for me was basically on time.

  I sailed into a parking spot and hopped out of the truck, smoothing the skirt of my dress and fluffing my hair as I hurried to the entrance. I skidded to a halt at the sight of my sister’s giant torpedo of a stomach pointing at me accusingly as she tapped her foot.

  “You’re late,” she growled, stomping forward. Grabbing my arm, she started hauling me back toward the parking lot without explanation.

  I stumbled behind her, surprised by her strength. When she calmed down, I’d have to ask if pregnancy gave you that super mom strength to lift a car or whatever. For some reason, I felt like she wouldn’t appreciate it at the moment.

  “Where are we going? I thought everyone was waiting for me?”

  Addie grunted, her grip on my arm tightening as she dragged me around the back of the building. “They are, but not in there.”

  Oh fuck.

  Had she finally cracked? Was this it? Was Addie going to finally make good on all those death threats she’d thrown at me over the years?

  It took me a minute to realize where, or what, she was hauling me toward. Parked haphazardly in the rear parking lot of the restaurant was a shiny black bus. The words Party Train were plastered on the side, and neon lights pulsed from inside the darkened window, music thumping in the night air as we approached the open door.

  “What the hell?”

  “This,” Addie announced, reaching into the open door and pulling out something hot pink and shiny, “is your bachelorette party.” She draped the hot pink material over my head and adjusted
it across my chest before placing a plastic tiara on my head. I looked down at the sash and read the words emblazoned in glitter on it.

  BRIDE.

  I blinked up at my sister, trying to will away the tears that were threatening to fall. “You threw me a bachelorette party?”

  Her smile was soft. “Of course, I did. You’re my little sister. You deserve everything you’re about to get.”

  For some reason, her choice of words didn’t exactly make me feel all warm and fuzzy, but I let her guide me up the stairs anyway. Screams and hoots of a crowd of already very drunk women greeted me, except once my eyes adjusted, I saw that there were only three women inside: Babs, Kat, and Heather. I craned my neck to look back at my sister in shock. It was no secret that Addie disliked Heather. The fact that she was sitting on a party bus at an event my sister organized was a testament to how much Addie loved me.

  She shrugged and rolled her eyes. “It was Babs’ idea. Who do you think paid for the bus?”

  “Thank you,” I whispered before turning and running into the waving arms and squeals of three of my favorite women.

  Before the driver even pulled out of the parking lot, Babs poured shots, and Addie was making the first toast of the night with her water bottle. “To my sister, may your marriage be long and full of happiness.”

  “And may the sex be kinky as shit!” Heather added before downing her tequila.

  We all laughed. All except for Addie who apparently hadn’t put her feelings for Heather completely aside. Heather either didn’t notice Addie’s glare or didn’t care, because she took the bottle from Babs and poured us all another round. I was equally amazed and astonished she managed to relieve Babs of a bottle of booze and come out the other side with her hand still attached.

  “Wait, where’s Jacquelyn, I thought you said she was here?”

  Kat snorted. “Yeah, no. Mom took a pass on tonight’s festivities.”

  “I was just trying to get you to hurry up,” my sister added from her place on the bench. She’d commandeered one whole side of the bus, kicking up her feet and balancing her phone on her belly.

  “Enough talking. Time for dance!” Babs shouted, reaching down to crank the volume up on the stereo. “Booty Hopscotch” by Kstylis boomed through the speakers, and Babs turned around and began to pop her hips. I sat stunned, a shot of tequila to my lips as I watched my geriatric grandmother twerk better than Beyoncé.

  Heather and Kat whooped in unison, encouraging the disturbing behavior as Babs sang along to every word of the song. Knowing that resistance was futile, I slammed my shot and joined the others on the two stripper poles bolted in the middle of the aisle.

  Even Addie giggled and snapped pictures as Babs dropped it down and brought it back up in a body roll that would make any pole spinner proud. We drank and danced to one ridiculous song after the next until the bus came to a stop just inside the French Quarter.

  Our hodgepodge group of misfits pouring onto the streets of New Orleans was like a bad joke.

  An old lady, an aristocrat, an pregnant woman, a criminal, and a bride-to-be walk out of a party bus…

  “Where are we going?” I asked as Kat grabbed my arm and pushed through the throng of bodies toward Bourbon Street. I reached back just in time to clasp my sister’s hand and pull her along with us.

  She grinned at me over her shoulder, a wicked gleam in her eye. “The Cat’s Meow, I know the bartender.”

  I was beginning to think that Kat wasn’t as sweet and innocent as Pope would like to believe. “Isn’t that a karaoke place?”

  “Fuck yes! Karaoke!” Heather screamed into the night. She’d linked arms with Babs, and they were doing the Wizard of Oz walk down the middle of the street. I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about their alliance, but I was too buzzed to care at the moment.

  The bar was packed, but Kat expertly led us through the mass and into a courtyard where two massive security guards stood.

  “Billy!” Kat called as she skipped up to the largest and scariest of the two men.

  “Kitty!” The big man beamed down at her.

  Kitty? Who was this mammoth of a man, and why was he so familiar with my soon to be sister-in-law?

  Billy, leaned down to allow Kat to pop up on her toes and plant a kiss on his cheek.

  “What's on the menu tonight, sweetheart?” he asked, scanning our group. I had to give the guy some credit. He didn’t even flinch when he caught sight of Babs fiddling with her teeth.

  Kat practically vibrated with excitement. “This hot little piece is marrying my brother next week, so we're celebrating!”

  He chuckled and held out a hand for me to shake. “Congratulations…”

  “Savannah,” I offered, taking his hand.

  “All right, y’all go up and have a good time. But try not to bring too much attention to yourself. There’s a private party going on.” He gave Kat a warning look, but she just smiled sweetly at him.

  She chirped out a thank you and pulled our makeshift conga line up the stairs. The room was teeming with bodies as we squeezed our way to an alcove that held a small bar.

  “Michael?” I called out, stunned at seeing a familiar face behind the bar.

  “Ah, the party has arrived!” He shouted across the noisy party goers.

  I turned and gave my sister a questioning look, but she just shrugged. Apparently, she wasn’t aware we were visiting one of Zep’s best friends either.

  “Three Apple Crown and cranberrys, a water, and one glass of vodka, if you please,” Kat rattled off.

  He shot Kat a wink as he lined up glasses on the bar. “Already on it, baby girl.”

  Baby girl? Who was this creature, and what had she done to these men?

  Not so much as batting an eye at the endearment, Kat turned to us. “I met Michael at the baby shower, and he told me about this place. Isn’t it great?”

  Even though her familiarity with the bar and its employees was a little unsettling, I had to admit it had a pretty rad vibe. We got our drinks, and Kat led us to the balcony that looked over the stage on the main floor where hilariously drunk patrons tried their hand at singing the classics.

  “So, you seem pretty friendly with the staff here. What’s up with that?” Addie asked, taking a sip of her ice water.

  Kat groaned and slurped at the remnants of her drink. “Whoops, looks like I need a refill!” She turned to head back toward the bar, but I wasn’t having any of it.

  Grabbing her arm and halting her getaway, I gave her my best big sister glare. “Spill it, baby Pope.”

  Was this how Addie felt when she was worried about me? I sure as hell hoped not. The anxiety rumbling in my chest at what on earth Kat could be up to was a major buzzkill.

  Kat sighed in defeat and slumped against the wrought iron railing. “It’s nothing as exciting as what you’re thinking. I’m everyone’s little sister, always have been. I tried, trust me I tried, but nothing works. They all just see me as a little kid. Did you know it took me until my sophomore year in college to lose my virginity?”

  I winced. While she was nothing short of stunning, Kat did have an innocent vibe about her.

  “Exactly!” Kat pointed at my face and nodded solemnly. “As soon as he found out who my father and brother were, the guy ghosted me like nobody’s business. It’s nearly impossible to get a guy to take me home. Even when I’m close, someone who knows me gets to him and poof, I’m left alone on the dance floor once again wondering what the hell is wrong with me.”

  Addie cut a hand through the air as if she were banishing Kat’s thoughts. “If they’re scared off by your brother being a cop, chances are they aren’t who you want to be spending time with anyway. Besides, you shouldn’t be going home with guys you meet in bars.”

  Kat threw her hands in the air, a few ice cubes spilling from her glass. “Well, school is not an option. All the guys there are too scared of what my father could do to their career to come within ten feet of me. If the bars are out, why don’t y
ou tell me how the hell I’m supposed to get an orgasm that isn’t self-induced?”

  “Come to swamp!” Babs crowed, popping up in the middle of our little semi-circle.

  How the fuck does she do that?

  Kat’s eyes sparkled. “That’s not a half bad idea, Babs.”

  My utter panic must have been broadcasted on my face because Addie was quick to rebuff the idea. “Not sure you’re going to find what you’re looking for in a gator wrestling bayou boy.”

  Kat cocked her head and studied Addie thoughtfully for a moment. I was more than slightly terrified. Kat was a smart woman. Not just smart but brilliant. She had a twinkle in her eyes that told me she was about to well and truly discredit Addie’s objection.

  “You’re both from the swamp, and the man who put a bun in your oven just so happens to be one of those very same bayou boys you’re talking about. Are you telling me that he doesn’t satisfy you?”

  Addie stuttered, and I knew we were fucked. “Well, what I meant was… I just don’t…”

  Kat flicked her long blonde hair over her shoulder and batted her baby blues at us. “That’s what I thought. All those orgasms have scrambled your brain. And that, my friends, is exactly what I want.”

  Addie and I stared at her in shock as she flounced over to the bar for a refill.

  “She kind of scares me,” Addie whispered.

  “Yeah, me too. But think of it this way, if she brings home someone from the swamp, it’ll pretty much guarantee that her dad won’t think I’m the worst thing to ever happen to the family.”

  “To the bus!” Heather shouted, marching in front of us with a handful of beads clutched in her raised fist.

  After our little heart to heart with Kat, we realized Babs and Heather had disappeared. Addie was well on her way to a full-blown panic attack when “Tick Tok” by Kesha started playing on the speakers, and Babs' ancient voice followed. The three of us peered over the railing to see Heather and Babs shimmying and shaking all over the stage. The crowd was eating it up, cheering, chanting, and just all around encouraging their antics. But nothing could compare to the deafening roar that Babs elicited by dropping to the floor and performing an enthusiastic and technically perfect worm across the stage. It was madness. It was as if the massive crowd of drunk people had simultaneously decided to create a new religion where our grandmother was their deity.