Past, Present

by A J Lange

  “Our,” Gray interrupted, his voice worn gravel and smooth honey.

  “Hmmm?” Zane asked, distracted by the plush bow of his upper lip, which had thus far been sorely neglected.

  “Don’t stop saying ‘our’.”

  Zane hesitated, mentally shaking off the fog of desire that him. He searched Gray’s face and found quiet blue eyes staring calmly back. He swallowed. “Our apartment,” he said huskily.

  Gray cupped his face and kissed him fervently, tongue darting into his mouth, searching, until Zane was the one left whimpering and needy.

  “Let’s go home,” Gray said softly, pushing Zane gently toward his side of the car. They had migrated to the center of the front seat, making out in the dark like a couple of teenagers in Luca’s posh circular drive. The windows were fogged over, Zane noted with a grin as he disentangled his arms, immediately missing Gray’s warmth.

  “Or we could just stay here and neck some more,” he grinned, leaning across the seat to steal one more kiss.

  “Your side,” Gray said sternly, shoving him back into place.

  ◆◆◆

  Zane’s resolve lasted a whole twelve miles. With his earlier declaration banging against his heart, wanting to make itself known, to prove itself in actions as well as words, he stealthily unbuckled his seatbelt and slid across the seat. He kissed whatever skin he could easily access, temple, cheek, jaw, pulling the tie free and tossing it in the backseat.

  “Zane,” Gray breathed, moaning when Zane bit into the soft skin of his neck. “Trying to drive here, babe.”

  It was the first endearment he had ever used and it punched through Zane’s core in a bolt of desire. “Then pull over.” Zane worried an earlobe between his teeth, enjoying the fuck out of the sounds Gray was making.

  Gray cursed and pulled off the highway, turning into the first dark, quiet side road he could find. Zane grinned and had him unzipped and free of his boxers before Gray even had the car in park. He bent low, eager for him, wanting to erase the last of the night’s tension with each long pull of his tongue.

  Zane enjoyed all of it; the smell of Gray’s body, the feel of his hard length against his lips, the way Gray’s fingers gripped his head, gentle at first but losing control and a little too rough as he barreled closer to the edge. He loved it when Gray came apart under his hands and mouth, because it meant he trusted Zane to take care of him.

  Mostly, though, he loved the boneless, blissed out expression on Gray’s face while he watched Zane tuck him back into place. He cupped his palm around Gray’s thigh, not ready to move away just yet.

  “I’m getting pretty good at that.” It was vanity, pure and simple, and Gray chuckled in the steamy, dark interior of the car.

  “If you get any better, you’re going to kill me.” He looked at Zane through his lashes and Zane read his intent instantly.

  “Nope. You drive,” he said, sliding over and buckling up. “But there’s a wall with your name on it just inside our front door.”

  Gray smiled slowly in the dark and started the car.

  Chapter 12

  Zane was sitting at the bar making out the weekly schedule for staff when Tanner dropped a folded newspaper on top of his paperwork.

  “Wow, Tanner,” Zane grumbled, reaching to shove the paper aside. He froze, focusing on the grainy photos. “What the hell-“

  “You’re famous,” Tanner smirked, leaning an elbow on the bar and stealing a drink from Zane’s soda.

  The centermost photo was a head shot of Zane and Gray, one of a full-page spread of photos detailing Alanna's engagement party, the cover story for the weekly Weddings insert. They were standing close, smiling at each other, seemingly oblivious to the rest of the world. The caption read The bride-to-be’s brother, Grayson Sloan and guest.

  Zane snorted. “I guess I should be relieved no one thought I was important enough to get my name.” He scoured his memories of that night for a photographer but came up empty. And the guy must have been right in their face; it was a really good photo of them. “Good picture,” he said grudgingly.

  Tanner was silent, smiling at him with a bemused expression.

  “What?” Zane rolled his eyes, refolding the paper and setting it aside carefully. He wanted to take it home later and show Gray, who he knew would get all soft and quiet when he saw the photo. They didn’t have any photos of the two of them together, Zane mused. They should really probably remedy that. Zane would have to find the perfect moment to share the newspaper though; any mention of that night was enough to set Gray off lately. He still hadn’t forgiven his family for their careless treatment of Zane, although Zane was ambivalent about it. He had Gray and that was all that mattered at the end of the day. He could make nice with the occasional irritating relative. It wasn’t as if Zane’s family closet didn’t have a few skeletons rattling around in it too.

  “You’re taking this pretty well,” Tanner said. “I’m impressed.”

  “You’re the one who went to college, Tanner. Are you really going to rag on me now for being enlightened?” Zane glared pointedly at Tanner over the rims of his reading glasses. He rarely used the damn things, but it seemed like every year he needed them more and more to focus on fine print. Unless he wanted to hold the paper out at arms length and look like an idiot every time he had to sign a contract.

  Plus, Gray had a thing for them in a major way. Zane smiled to himself, thoughts drifting.

  “Stop that right now,” Tanner barked.

  “What?”

  “You’re thinking about Gray naked, I can tell. It’s your sexy times face and I really can’t believe I just said that. I need to go scrub my brain now, God.” Tanner flounced off to the kitchen and Zane chuckled, watching him slam through the door.

  ◆◆◆

  Lily squealed when she saw the newspaper photo. “Oh my God,” she clasped her hands to her chest. “You have to frame this and hang it over the bar with the rest of the family pictures. I wonder if the photographer would give us a copy of the actual photo?”

  The wall behind the cash register was covered in frames. There were the usual required documents, like liquor license and Better Business Bureau awards, but there were also numerous small framed photos of the Nolans: Zane and Tanner, aged six and ten, swinging their legs from their perch atop the bar; a candid shot of their mom, Olivia, with their dad, caught mid-laugh at this very register; the boys and William on their respective high school graduation days. The newest photo was of Lily and Tanner, one Zane had snapped during a backyard barbecue a few summers back, Lily’s shining blonde head beaming up at Tanner, her very own Adonis come to life.

  “Yeah, maybe,” Zane said, noncommittally but his insides churned in a not entirely unpleasant way. The thought of glancing up on a busy night and seeing that moment, captured unaware, a sweet reminder that sometimes the two of them were alone in the universe, even in a crowded room; Zane thought he might be able to get used to that.

  Lily jumped down from her seat on a stool. “I’m going to run over to the Quik-Trip and buy two more copies.”

  “Lily, wait,” Zane started, but he was too late. She was already beelining it through the front door, squeezing past the night’s first patrons. “She better get her cute little ass back here quick,” he grumbled to himself. His eyes fell on the blank patch of wall next to Lily and Tanner’s photo and then grinned when his heart did a happy flip.

  ◆◆◆

  The pub was rocking, even for a Friday night, and they were standing three deep around the bar before Zane had another chance to think about the photo. Even then, it was only after Gray showed up and was tying an apron around his trim hips (distracting in Zane’s best, most focused moments). Gray froze behind the register, and Zane had to nudge him aside to make change.

  “Move your tight ass, Sloan.” When Gray didn’t budge, Zane looked over to find him rooted to the spot in front of the wall of family photos. Lily had indeed gone to the Quik-Trip and returned with not two, but three copi
es of the paper. She had immediately sat down to cut out one of the photos of Gray and Zane, and used a thumbtack she found in the cash till to pin it into the wall next to the one of she and Tanner. “Temporary placeholder,” she had winked. “I’m calling the Star on Monday and seeing what it will take to get a real copy.”

  Zane smiled to himself. He had been right; Gray’s eyes were soft and fond, the way they got sometimes when he looked at Zane. He handed his customer the appropriate change and turned to press his lips close to Gray’s ear. “You’re very photogenic.” Gray jumped. He glanced over his shoulder, eyes immediately falling to Zane’s mouth. Zane wet his lips, just a brief flick of tongue, and whoa, that tender, affectionate look evolved rapidly into something hot and hungry. Zane swallowed and willed himself to take a step back. At the register, in front of a couple hundred of Joe’s patrons, probably wasn’t the place to give Gray what he was clearly asking for, especially when it most likely involved Zane on his back and half naked. And pleading.

  But God, he wanted to.

  Still, he couldn’t let this moment pass without something, so he gripped Gray’s waist with one hand, needing touch, the contact like a balm for his skittering nerves. He leaned close again. “I saved you a copy too, it’s in the office.”

  Gray smiled, eyes still scorching him with promises that made Zane’s neck prickle in anticipation. “You surprise me, Zane Nolan, in so many ways.”

  Zane ducked his head, unable to absorb everything Gray was giving him with just a look. He hoped the dark interior hid the flush of color in his cheeks. “Yeah yeah, there’s more caveman here than meets the eye.” He smiled though, happy in a way he hadn’t been happy in a long time. Maybe ever. “Now get your gorgeous ass in gear and help these thirsty people. They sure as hell aren’t going to serve themselves.”

  ◆◆◆

  “So, Zane, what was the congressman like, anyway,” called a man over the din of Friday night in full swing. Eli had been a fixture at Joe’s for as long as Zane could remember. He and William had been old friends, often fishing together on the weekends in the summer; hot, lazy days on the lake that Zane counted as some of his best childhood memories.

  “Huh?” Zane frowned, pushing lime wedges into two bottles of Corona before handing them to a busty blonde who held his fingers a shade too long when he passed her the beers.

  Gray appeared at his elbow, looking coolly down his nose at the blonde until she blanched and scurried away. "Alanna's fiancé is Congressman Nall,” he said calmly once the girl was gone. He shrugged when he found Zane staring at him in amusement. “What.”

  Zane chuckled. “Nothing.” He turned back to Eli. “I wouldn’t know one of our congressmen if they walked up and bit my ass, Eli. Are you surprised?”

  Eli harrumphed, rolling his eyes and nodding his head at the wall behind the register. “Well, that’s a real nice photo and all, but you might have at least worn a tie.”

  Zane’s eyes widened. “What’s wrong with what I was wearing?” Which, Zane thought, might be the most surreal question he had ever asked the older man. Nevermind that Zane and Gray were clearly together in the photo. Zane Nolan. Lawrence High School football star, ladies man, son of the macho-est former-Marine son of a bitch this side of the Mississippi. On a date. With a man.

  And all Eli cared about was the fact that he hadn’t worn a tie.

  “You don’t go gallivanting around at fancy parties in the home of the head of NovCo-” Eli paused in his tirade to take a long drink of his beer and Zane took the opportunity to glance questioningly at Gray as he passed behind him again.

  "Luca," Gray offered.

  Zane rolled his eyes. Of course. NovCo was the largest employer in the tri-county area.

  “-dressed like a damn gigolo.” Eli thumped the bar with a fist in emphasis.

  “Told you so,” Zane elbowed Lily to his right, as she opened a new package of paper napkins.

  “Eli, what the hell do you know about fashion anyway. Zane’s ass was smoking hot that night.” Lily leaned over the bar, indignant irritation plain on her face.

  “Do I want to know?” Tanner asked, catching the tail end of Lily’s declaration as he grabbed a handful of the newly replenished napkins.

  “Nope,” Zane grinned.

  “Your daddy would have worn a tie,” Eli stated with finality.

  Zane snorted. “Duly noted, old man. Next time I have to get slicked up and presentable, I’ll give you a call so you can preapprove my wardrobe.”

  Eli mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like smartass, but Zane just laughed, clasping hands with his dad’s old friend before moving on to help the next customer.

  ◆◆◆

  Zane let Gray guide him down the hall toward the bedroom, wishing like hell he wasn’t so exhausted. It was long after two a.m. and there was still Saturday inventory to get through tomorrow and then Saturday night after that. It didn’t seem to matter that Zane was more than willing; his body was screaming for rest instead of the hot, messy sex he had been meticulously planning all damn night in his head. Fucking life as a grown up, he thought. He didn’t realize he had spoken the thought aloud until Gray chuckled.

  “You’ll survive.” Gray hit the light switch inside the bedroom door and Zane blinked.

  “Ow.”

  “Poor baby,” Gray whispered, peeling Zane’s shirt over his head and claiming his lips a soon as they appeared through the neck opening.

  “Mmmm,” Zane murmured. “I’m not really that tired,” he said against Gray’s mouth.

  Gray gripped his hips and walked him backwards until Zane’s legs hit the bed, kissing him slow and thorough. He unfastened Zane’s jeans and let them fall to the floor. “Get in bed.”

  Zane threaded his fingers through Gray’s hair, cradling his head while he dove in for another kiss, already half hard and aching. He rubbed against him, moaning when he felt Gray’s hardness align with his own.

  Gray pushed him back, sighing. “You’re about to drop, Zane. Bed. Now.”

  “Asshole,” Zane said affectionately, with one more hard kiss. He settled back against the pillows and watched Gray undress. “You know, an extraordinarily attractive bar owner tells me you’re kind of a cocktease, but a real animal in the sack.” He waggled his eyebrows and Gray laughed softly, turning out the light.

  “Yeah, well, just between you and me,” Gray whispered, settling over Zane, a warm press of skin on skin. “I plan to rock his world tomorrow morning.” He dipped his head and kissed the tattoo over Zane’s heart.

  “Mmmm,” Zane sighed. “I don’t suppose I can convince you to throw over this handsome bastard and take a tumble with me instead.”

  Gray mouthed the curve of muscles forming the definition of Zane’s chest, scooting down to suck lightly against the edge of a nipple.

  “Jesus, Gray,” Zane breathed. He wedged a knee between Gray’s legs, feeling a tantalizing hardness against his thigh.

  Gray rested his cheek against him, breathing deep. “Sorry, I always think I can resist you.”

  Zane huffed a quiet laugh. “Why the hell would you want to?”

  Gray bit into the sensitive skin over his ribs in retaliation, then flopped back on his pillow only to be dragged snug against Zane’s side a moment later.

  “Love you,” Zane said sleepily, letting the exhaustion claim him, warm and content.

  “I love you.”

  Zane smiled, his last thought of soft lips brushing against his in the dark.

  Chapter 13

  Zane was sprawled lazily across the foot of the bed, watching Gray retrieve meticulously folded piles of clothing from his suitcase, then stack them on the edge of the bed for sorting. This was it, the last bit from Gray’s apartment. They had systematically, over the course of a week, moved Gray out of his temporary home near the university and into Zane’s house. It had been accomplished without fanfare, or even much discussion, and more than once Zane had considered this the easiest major life decision he had e
ver made. Sometimes he wondered if that meant it was fate, or destiny, or some other preordained bullshit like the ones those mystical types recounted on afternoon talk shows. Mostly he just counted himself the luckiest bastard on earth.

  Zane had only ever been to university housing a few times, and Gray had never really settled into the space as a long-term dwelling anyway, so neither was emotionally invested in the property. After Gray met Zane, he was there even less. Zane by necessity worked late most nights, and since Gray usually ended up wherever Zane was, it was simpler for Gray to come home with him at night.

  Plus, Zane liked Gray in his house. He fit into the space effortlessly. Their daily routines meshed well, and they were sort of astonishingly well suited. He had not been able to resist teasing him though, the afternoon Gray had shown up carrying the first container of his belongings, a small box of office supplies.

  “Whatcha got there, Professor?” Zane peered into the open box. It was painstakingly organized for a square of recycled cardboard, containing a stapler, a tin of push pins, a box of paperclips, and assorted pens and notebooks.

  “I thought I might bring some of my office items over. You’re not using the desk anyway, and I can do my grading easier.” Gray ducked his head and Zane had a sneaking suspicion he might be blushing. He bent low, trying to catch his eye.

  “Were you going to ask permission before you filched a piece of my furniture for yourself?” Zane purposefully made his voice gruffer than usual, smiling to himself when Gray bit his lip hesitantly, brow furrowing. Zane took the box from him and tossed it on the floor, ignoring the rattle that indicated he had destroyed the tidy arrangement. There was a persistent part of him that wanted to thoroughly mess up tidy, orderly Gray too. He pulled the other man close and kissed him. “I’m kidding, by the way.”