Past, Present

by A J Lange

  He moved to walk around Gray, and nearly fell when Gray grabbed his elbow, yanking him roughly back.

  “Gray—”

  But Gray was kissing him, long and hot and desperate, pulling on the straps of Zane’s backpack until their chests were flush, rising and falling in tandem with each inhalation.

  Zane lost himself in it, let Gray kiss away his anxiety. When they separated, Gio was gone.

  “Way to make a statement, Gray,” he whispered, kissing him once more, clinging, soft.

  “I thought you needed a big gesture.” Gray’s smile was apologetic and Zane ached, intense and jagged, in the region of his heart.

  “I’m sorry,” he began but Gray stopped him with a finger to his lips.

  “I forgot,” Gray said quietly, eyes serious. “It’s so easy for me to forget what it was like for you.”

  Zane closed his eyes against the burn behind his eyelids. He was not going to get emotional standing in a river underneath a mystical waterfall in a forest. It was too Lord of the Rings.

  “Please, don’t apologize, Gray,” he said. He opened his eyes again and smiled softly. “I’m still an asshole sometimes. I know you probably don’t remember, and I wish I could take advantage of that, but I won’t. I can be a dick, and I’m jealous as fuck when anyone even looks at you sideways.”

  Gray snorted. “Okay.” He tilted his head, grinning. “What do you suggest we do about that?”

  “Lock you up somewhere only I have the key? Make you wear a bag over your head in public?” Zane pulled their hips together. “I can think of plenty of ways to keep you to myself and away from handsome fucks like Gio.” He narrowed his eyes. “You could help too, by not encouraging him, you know.”

  “Would you have me ignore every pretty boy,” Gray smirked, “or girl, that crosses my path?”

  “Yes,” Zane said crossly, squeezing Gray’s waist with too much pressure, fingers digging in possessively.

  Gray grinned. “Zane. ”

  “No, Gray. Don’t Zane me.” Zane held him close, backpack buckles clicking together. “I don’t like the way he looks at you,” he said roughly.

  Gray leaned forward to breathe into his ear, “I want you, Zane. No one else.”

  Zane sighed. “Yeah, but you’re gorgeous. Everyone wants you.” He was pouting and he knew it. “I don’t like it. And he’s fucking gorgeous too, so I get it, okay,” he added obstinately.

  Gray cocked one eyebrow. “So, are you giving me permission to ogle the hot guide or should I be the one worried, here? Because now I’m confused.”

  Gray’s tone held the barest hint of irritation, so Zane reacted with action as well as words. He backed him against the canyon wall, cool and damp from the overspray, and held him there, hip to hip. Gray’s lips parted in surprise.

  “Gio could prance buck naked through here right fucking now, promising blow jobs and beer, and I still wouldn’t want him,” Zane growled before he kissed him, too hard and frantic at first, then softer, gentling the grind of his hips, the hard grip of his fingers. Gray had rarely clung, even in their previous life, but Zane felt desperation in his movements now. He realized that his little fit of pique had affected Gray in ways he hadn’t expected, that neither of them had expected.

  Zane rested against him, placing slow kisses to his top lip, the corner of his mouth, an apology, affectionate and tender. “No one, Gray. Ever. There’s just never going to be anyone else for me.” He thought of Gray’s journal, the dinner date he had witnessed. “I tried,” Zane whispered. “I tried to forget you, replace you.”

  The words were honest and heartfelt and Gray winced; they were a quiet request for forgiveness, but they still cut deep. “I couldn’t,” Zane continued, moving his lips along the rough jaw, mouthing at the sharp edge, smoothing down the bare skin of his neck. He pressed a soft kiss against his Adam’s apple, thinking of all the times he had done it before, and all the times he had grieved, thinking he would never be able to do it again.

  “You, Gray,” he breathed against his mouth. “It’s you.”

  And then Gray was kissing him again, his tongue chasing Zane’s, coaxing it back into his mouth when it darted teasingly away.

  “This would be a hell of a lot sexier if I wasn’t standing in ass cold water,” Zane complained, shivering, although not entirely from the temperature in the river; Gray was a potent kisser and Zane battled butterflies any time he touched him with that shapely mouth.

  “Are you saying my kissing technique is lacking?” Gray applied a particularly evil flick of tongue to accompany his words.

  “Even your amazing mouth can’t distract me from wet socks, Gray,” Zane lied.

  Gray sucked an earlobe between his teeth and grabbed Zane’s butt in both hands, offering a quick squeeze. “I’ll have to see if I can make it up to you later.”

  ◆◆◆

  They stopped for the night just a few miles further, after the Virgin river converged with Deep Creek and the canyon opened up into a spectacular vista that left Zane feeling rather insignificant about his place in the world. Zane, Gray and three others were instructed to set up camp at a brightly painted marker indicating the spot was ‘Campsite 8’; the other members of their party would be ten minutes on the opposite side of the river at ‘Campsite 7’. Zane, mollified though he may be by Gray’s attentions, was aggravated to note Giovanni would be setting up his tent at number eight too.

  Gray, knack of reading Zane’s emotions unerringly intact, responded by pulling Zane’s one-person popup tent close to the opening of his own, creating a domed nest.

  Zane raised an eyebrow as he watched him struggle to get the openings aligned perfectly. “What the hell are you doing?” he asked, voice tinged in fondness despite his lingering temper.

  Gray winked. “No separate beds, Zane. ”

  Zane flushed, but let himself be dragged into the tiny structure to test it out.

  As darkness fell and evening sounds filled the campsite, the hikers began to turn in. It had been a long day and everyone, Zane included, was happy to call it an early night. After the heat of the day, he was surprised to discover the temperatures dropping rapidly; he was glad for Gray’s body heat, regardless of the silly fabricated igloo he was going to be forced to sleep in.

  Gray had no such qualms about their sleeping arrangement.

  “No one can even see our tent, Zane. ” Each individual or couple was separated by at least several feet of forest or canyon floor.

  “Mmm hmmm. I’m pretty sure your boyfriend did a walk through a few minutes ago. I heard footsteps creeping by in the leaves.”

  “A. He’s not my boyfriend,” Gray said, unzipping Zane’s sleeping bag. Zane’s eyebrows hit his hairline when Gray climbed inside of it, lying comfortably on top of him. “And B. That was probably a bear.”

  “Not helping,” Zane gasped when Gray shifted so that Zane had no prayer of hiding the rather embarrassing state of affairs below his waist.

  “What? Do you mean this?” Gray rolled his hips once, dropping his head to mouth at Zane’s bare collarbone. “Never wear shirts, Zane,” he mumbled against his skin. “Are you afraid of bears?” He nibbled up his neck.

  “Ahhh,” Zane bit his lip, abandoning all hope of following Gray’s attempts at conversation at this point. Goddammit, the man instinctively knew every fucking last one of his kinks.

  “Hmmm?” Gray had worked his way to Zane’s ear now.

  “Fuck,” Zane barely contained a groan, hearing a rustle in the undergrowth outside the tent again. “You gotta stop, man. There are people sleeping right out there,” he whispered, half-heartedly waving an arm in the general direction of there.

  “I’m surprised at you,” Gray whispered back. “I would have thought you much more—” he paused to suck hard at the juncture of his neck and shoulder and Zane nearly swallowed his tongue with the effort to remain silent.

  “Adventuresome,” Gray finished, licking the dark mark he had left on Zane’s skin.


  “Fuckfuckfuck,” Zane panted softly, parting his thighs enough that Gray could sink more comfortably between them. “What are you doing to me, Professor?” As questions go, he didn’t really expect an answer, but Gray gave one anyway, whispering it against his skin as he kissed his torso.

  “I’m making love to you, Zane, in the middle of the wilderness.” He flung the edge of the sleeping bag aside so he had more room to maneuver, sliding his mouth along the ridges of muscle as he traveled down Zane’s stomach. “Because I can’t fucking wait another minute.”

  Zane whimpered when Gray licked a stripe from his navel to his hip.

  “But Zane,” Gray warned, lifting his head and waiting until Zane met his eyes.

  “What, God, what?” Zane whispered back, hands tugging at Gray’s hair.

  “You’ll have to be very quiet.” Gray grinned wickedly, reddened lips hovering above the waist of Zane’s pajama pants.

  “You’re going to kill me,” Zane moaned, pushing Gray’s head lower, wondering how much he would really care in the morning if it happened that the other hikers did hear them.

  Gray laughed softly, obeying Zane’s insistent hands. He carefully peeled the pants and boxers off of his hips, negotiating their small space. Zane had to lift his knees so there was still room for both of them, but even then it was a tight fit. “Gray,” he whispered, threading his fingers through his dark hair. “C’mere.”

  But Gray ignored him, kneeling between his knees, running graceful hands down his thighs. He traced a finger down the length of Zane’s cock and it jumped. He smiled up at him, effectively destroying him with the words, “I’ve dreamed about doing this.”

  His head descended, mouth fitting just so, fist finding a rhythm sliding from base to tip and back again, and Zane was falling, falling, falling, biting his cheek hard enough to bleed, desperately holding back the sounds that wanted to erupt from his throat. He shook his head from side to side, knowing he wouldn’t last, not like this, not with all of that hot, wet suction pulling him too quickly down its tunnel, the build too much, too good. Holy fuck. He cupped Gray’s cheeks gently and pulled him off, holding the lovely jaw with shaking fingers. “Baby, you gotta stop, I can’t,” he shook his head again, swallowing hard. “It’s too fast. Please,” Zane was pleading now, out of breath, and Gray’s eyes softened. He turned his face to press a kiss into Zane’s palm, letting himself be pulled up to lie between his legs again, mouths meeting, sealing together in a tender kiss.

  Zane’s cock pulsed hot between them, damp from Gray’s mouth, and he thought it was possibly the most exquisite torture he could ever imagine. He worked one hand between them, stroking Gray’s hardness in the narrowest of gaps, then pushed at his waistband.

  “Take these off,” he whispered.

  “Ask nicely,” Gray returned against his cheek, where he had landed while Zane had grappled with maintaining control.

  “Gray,” Zane whined.

  “Say please, Zane. ” And holy Mary mother of Christ, the sex voice; Zane could come from the sex voice alone, but it was too loud and he knew it had carried far beyond the reaches of their little domed dwelling.

  “Shhh,” Zane shushed him, chuckling, then relented. “Please, baby. Get naked for me.”

  Gray snorted softly but began to wiggle and twist on top of him, forcing Zane to bite into his lip again, until he worked his pajama pants to his knees. “Naked naked probably isn’t the best option,” Gray whispered. “Because of bears.”

  “Will you stop saying that?” Zane was sixty percent sure Gray was fucking with him about the bears, but just in case, he didn’t kick his pants free. Oh no, this was much better, he thought sarcastically; if they were suddenly attacked, both he and Gray would be forced to stumble from the tent with their pants around their ankles and their junk flapping free.

  “Zane,” Gray whispered, closing his eyes when he slid into place, flush again. He kissed Zane’s jaw, eyes too dark in the shadows for Zane to see the blue. “Touch me.”

  For the second time that day, for the thousandth time in his life, Zane was powerless to resist him.

  He rolled them cautiously to the side, and the right side of the popup tent bowed; Zane wiggled backward until he had them both facing each other in a less precarious position. He pushed Gray’s boxers lower, wishing like hell they were in that giant bed back in the Best Western. The ground was hard; Zane was going to have one hell of a stiff back come morning.

  Gray’s hands rested on his waist as he waited for Zane to make the next move. Zane swallowed hard. His hands trembled when they reached for him, and Gray’s eyes fluttered closed on a soft sigh at the first glancing touch of Zane’s fingers. Zane was thankful for the tiny space because he didn’t have to move far to find Gray’s mouth, needing more contact.

  Gray’s hand closed around him too, matching Zane’s pace and movements and they lay there, pressed close together, synced, until Zane could feel the coil of heat building deep within his gut.

  “Gray,” Zane panted against his lips. “We’re going to—“ His breath hitched.

  “Yes,” Gray chuckled darkly, “we are.”

  Zane grinned. Only Gray could make him want to laugh in the throes of sex, and it still be hot as hell. His hand paused and Gray growled against his neck.

  “Zane. ” He twisted his wrist in a move Zane had nearly forgotten and Zane had to scrunch his eyes tightly shut.

  “Towel? Please God, tell me you have a towel in that backpack,” Zane pleaded on a whimper.

  Gray blinked, hand stilled. “I don’t think so.” He lowered his head to tongue at the hollow in his throat. “We’ll just use your shirt.”

  “We’re not using my –” Zane forgot to whisper and Gray covered his mouth with his own to silence him.

  Zane wiggled free, being careful to keep his voice low. “We’re not using my shirt to, to—“ God help him, but he couldn’t finish and he blushed, hard.

  “Clean up your cum?" Gray provided dryly.

  “Shhh,” Zane whispered. “I didn’t pack an extra and I’m not wearing that tomorrow, not after you clearly didn’t grasp the whole ‘be silent’ part of having sex in the middle of the woods surrounded by campers.”

  Gray shrugged and bit into the smooth, toned skin of Zane’s chest. “So don’t wear a shirt.” His fist closed around Zane, aligning their cocks and caressing them together languidly. “Just shut the fuck up and get your hands back on me.”

  Zane shuddered at the sensations. “Mmmm,” he licked his lips. “You’re doing just fine, maybe I’ll relax here and let you do all the work.” He let his head fall onto his arm.

  Gray’s grip tightened and he increased the pace. “I can do that.”

  But Zane couldn’t remain still for long, he had wanted Gray, wanted this, his body craving it from the last moment they had been together until now, and the passion had never waned, never cooled. He wondered if it ever would. His hand joined Gray’s and they worked together in a dance of fingers, damp and heated, hard and soft. Gray’s mouth closed over his in a deep kiss, swallowing Zane’s moans when his orgasm hit him, tumbling him into bliss first. Gray followed, shuddering as Zane wrung every last ounce of pleasure from him.

  “Fuck, Gray,” Zane breathed. He ran his hands across Gray’s back, pulling him close. Their skin stuck together and he smiled. They were most definitely going to have to use his t-shirt. He caught his mouth again. Gray still tasted like Gray, and his body still felt the same, deliciously fitting against Zane’s, two halves of the same mold, too perfect, too long apart.

  Gray was trailing small kisses along his jaw, his cheek, covering Zane’s eyelids and lips then feathering away. “I liked that,” he whispered, rolling Zane to his back so that he had more access.

  Zane snorted, breathless and insanely happy. “Me too.”

  He carded his fingers through Gray’s hair, guiding his mouth back to his. “Now clean me up, Professor, so I can get some sleep.”

  Gray grinned. “So
does that mean you’re not going to wear a shirt tomorrow?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Zane bit back a laugh.

  “How about I wear yours, and you be my eye candy.”

  Gray cocked his head. “You’re not worried our illustrious guide won’t be able to restrain himself at my magnificence?”

  Zane groaned. “Wow, Gray. Low blow.”

  Gray snickered, kicking his pants off, freeing his legs. Then he sat up and pulled Zane’s legs free too.

  Zane froze. “Wait!”

  “What?” Gray’s brow was wrinkled in consternation.

  “Bears,” Zane whispered ferociously, hit with a swift, clear vision of he and Gray sprinting ass naked across the forest, pursued by a grizzly.