Like the First Time

by Francis Ray

  “Claire might need your advice, but I don’t.”

  To debate that would cause even greater friction. “Of all of us, I think Claire is the only one who has a clear picture of what she wants and accepts that she may not get it. I’m not sure I’m that strong.”

  “You’re right. She’s proven to be the strongest of the three of us.”

  Brooke slipped off her shoes. “Loving Gray was a big part of it, but we helped. We helped each other.”

  “I was so angry with you this afternoon. I still am.”

  “And I was so worried about you, I only took time for a pitiful goodnight kiss. I wouldn’t do that for just anyone.”

  “Brooke?”

  “Yes.”

  “I think you’re wrong, but I canceled the dinner engagement.”

  Brooke relaxed against the back of the sofa, a slow smile growing on her face. “Lunch is on me tomorrow. What shall it be?”

  “Slightly North of Broad.”

  Brooke smiled. S.N.O.B., as most of the locals called it. They served wonderful low-country cuisine. Expensive, but that was all right. “You’re in luck. I just paid off my MasterCard.”

  Hanging up the phone, she headed for bed, hoping Lorraine stopped seeing Thomas completely until she was less vulnerable. If she didn’t, she could still find herself in trouble.

  * * *

  Lorraine was almost afraid to see Thomas again. She didn’t want to think she could be so needy that she was attracted to another man, especially the husband of a woman who had been her oldest and dearest friend. She’d always detested women who ran after men before their wives were even cold in the grave.

  Bliss’s door opened and Thomas walked in right on time for their appointment to see the property. Her heart didn’t thump, she didn’t feel breathless, but it was a near thing. He stared at her for a few moments. She really looked at him this time and saw the interested way he looked at her. Brooke has been right.

  He crossed to her immediately. “Morning, Lorraine. I hope you’re feeling better.”

  Because this morning she really did have a headache, she rubbed her temple. “A bit.”

  Reaching out, he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “I hate to see you in pain.”

  The warmth of his hand seeped through her blouse. His hand was larger than Hamilton’s, softer. Aware of what she was doing, she stepped away. “Thank you.” She glanced around the shop and saw Brooke watching her. She flushed.

  “Would you rather we put off looking for a place?” he asked.

  “No. I’ll get my purse and we can leave.” She passed Brooke on the way to the back, and wasn’t surprised to find that she had followed her.

  “You sure this is wise?”

  No. “We need to find a place so we can order the supplies and begin production. You know that as well as I do.”

  Brooke came further into the room. “I can go, or Claire, or we can find another realtor.”

  Lorraine’s chin lifted. “Thomas is a friend. I won’t hurt him that way.”

  Brooke sighed. “Is the risk worth it just to keep his feelings from getting hurt? Besides, I think he knows you’re conflicted. A real friend would make himself scarce.”

  Not wanting to think she might be right, Lorraine brushed by her and went to Thomas. “I’m ready.”

  “Let’s go,” he said. With a friendly wave to Claire at the cash register and Brooke, who had followed Lorraine out of the back, they left.

  “What’s the matter?” Claire asked Brooke. “Why the frown?”

  Folding her arms, Brooke whispered her suspicions to Claire. “She won’t listen and she’s headed for trouble.”

  Deeply troubled Claire asked, “What can we do to help her?”

  “Absolutely nothing.” Brooke’s hands came to her side. “Lorraine is on her own on this one, and I think she’s out of her league.”

  * * *

  Despite being in Thomas’s roomy Lincoln Navigator, Lorraine felt almost claustrophobic. She kept fidgeting with the neck of her blouse, the hem of her short skirt. She felt odd in her own skin.

  “I think this property will suit you best and it’s not because I own the building,” Thomas said as he pulled into the parking lot of the five-story white brick building. “It has twenty-four-hour security so you ladies can come and go at will and feel perfectly safe.” Pulling into a parking space, he got out and came around to open her door and help her down.

  Lorraine hesitated a fraction too long before placing her hand in his.

  “Lorraine, what’s the matter?”

  She didn’t want to meet his gaze. What kind of friend and wife was she? Was she attracted to Thomas, or what he represented: a man to comfort her?

  “Lorraine?”

  “I–I think my headache is coming back,” she said evasively.

  He stepped closer to her. Too close. “It wouldn’t be any trouble to put this off for another day.”

  Try forever. “No, I’d like this settled.”

  He reached out his hand again and this time she didn’t hesitate. As soon as her foot touched the concrete she withdrew her hand. He lightly took her elbow and they entered the building. Lorraine’s nerves didn’t settle until they were inside the office suite on the first floor.

  “I think you’ll be comfortable here. It already has a few office pieces like the sofa, desk and file cabinet. I think you should take this one.” Releasing her arm, Thomas went to open the door in front of them. “This room has plenty of storage and electrical outlets for your equipment.”

  Lorraine made her feet move toward him. Thomas moved back, but not far enough and her breast brushed against his arm. She jumped. She stared up at him with horror-filled eyes. “You did that on purpose.”

  He looked away. “Yes.”

  “Why, Thomas? Margaret and I were friends.”

  His head whipped back around. This time she could see the passion and desire there. “She’s been gone almost six months. I loved her, but I can’t deny I have feelings for you. Helping you these last weeks have shown me that I’m not dead.”

  “I’m married,” she cried, half-wondering if she’d said it for her or him.

  “To a man who doesn’t appreciate what he has.”

  The truth of his words hurt. “I’d like to leave.”

  He clenched his hands. “Please, don’t be angry.”

  “I’m not, I’m just…” Lorraine swallowed, then pushed the hard words out, “I’m not entirely immune to you.”

  His eyes lit and he started for her. She quickly backed up.

  “No. Please, let me finish. It’s because you were there when Hamilton wasn’t. You’ve been my anchor, my solace when he hasn’t. But I love my husband. I substituted you for him, and for that I’m sorry.”

  “We could build on that,” he told her.

  “Nothing can be built on lies and deceit.” Her chin lifted. “And I won’t shame Margaret’s memory. She loved you and your children so much.”

  His head fell forward. “I miss her so much. Sometimes I catch myself listening for the sound of her voice or looking for her in the gardens she loved.”

  “Perhaps you’re attracted to me because I was so close to Margaret,” Lorraine offered.

  His head came up. “That would make it nice and neat, but that isn’t the case. Come on, I’ll take you back.”

  Lorraine didn’t protest when he led her back to his SUV. Thankfully, the ride back to Bliss didn’t take long. As soon as he parked, she was out the door.

  He also got out and came around to the passenger side. With a weary sigh he pulled a key out of his pocket and held it out. “Take Claire and Brooke back to see what they think. This place suits your needs and I’d feel better knowing you’re safe.”

  She moistened her lips. “Thomas, perhaps I should get another realtor.”

  He was already shaking his head. “Please don’t make me feel worse than I do already.”

  She’d been just as wrong as he had. She acce
pted the key.

  “Thank you. I think I may go visit the children for a couple of weeks. Call the office and ask for Helen Steins if you decide to take the place.”

  He was giving her space and notice that he wouldn’t be there for her to lean on. She was extremely grateful. She could have wrecked so many lives by turning to another man instead of her husband. “I’m sorry if I led you to believe we could be more than friends.”

  “I won’t lie. I am, too. Goodbye, Lorraine.” Getting in his vehicle, Thomas drove off.

  Lorraine crossed the busy street against the light and entered Bliss. The second she opened the door, Brooke and Claire’s heads came up and they rushed to her. She looked at Brooke. “I was a fool.”

  Brooke put her arms around her shoulder. “Most women have been at one time or another. Now, go put up that purse and get busy.”

  Lorraine’s smile trembled. “No feeling sorry for myself, huh?”

  “Nope. Rule of Bliss,” Brooke said, then her eyes widened in excitement. “I just had a great idea for our Web site. Rules of Bliss, and the first one is giving yourself permission to make a mistake.”

  Lorraine shook her head. “At least something good has come out of the mess I almost made.”

  “That’s the beauty of a mistake,” Claire said. “We learn and move on and we’re lucky to have each other. Now, lets all get back to work.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  The bath gel slipped from Brooke’s hand and landed with a thud on the floor. Claire saw the stark expression on her face, glanced in the direction she had been staring and rushed to across the room to the handsome, well-dressed man who had entered the shop. “Can I help you?”

  He flicked a dismissive glance at her. “No. I came to see Brooke,” he said and walked up to the counter. “Hello, Brooke. You look more beautiful than I remember.”

  Randolph Peterson III was exactly as Brooke remembered: handsome, charming, and impeccably dressed in a tailor-made Italian suit. He favored Gucci. The mauve silk pocket square perfectly matched the faint mauve stripe in his shirt and the tiny dot on a gold background in his tie.

  Pleased that shock, not affection had caused the reaction, she picked up the bath gel and placed it on the shelf. “You were always smooth, Randolph. Can I show you around?”

  He reached for her arm and she deftly evaded his touch. His eyebrow lifted. “Is there someplace we can go and talk?”

  There were a few shoppers, but Claire and Lorraine could handle them. “In the back.”

  “I’ve missed you,” he said, reaching for her as soon as the louvered doors swung closed behind him.

  Holding up her hands, Brooke stepped back. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “Trying to kiss the woman I love.”

  Brooke simply stared. Randolph had said he cared, but he’d never admitted to loving her.

  He took advantage of her stillness and circled his hands around her arms. “You’re the most resilient woman I know. You thrive on challenge. If I had babied you, you would have folded instead of fighting back and becoming a part of this.”

  “You want to take credit for Bliss?” she asked incredulously.

  He laughed. “No, darling. The credit belongs to you and the other two ladies, but if I had made the calls as you wanted you’d be stuck in corporate instead of riding high on the success of your own ingenuity. My mother has even ordered online. She sent me the article in the newspaper. It was picked up by several papers. The family is thrilled for your success. Mother was pleased to learn I’m bringing you home with me this weekend.”

  “What?” she gasped. Randolph had never mentioned her meeting his parents in the past. She’d met them by accident when they came to Charleston for a Jack and Jill charity function. They had barely spoken before his parents moved on.

  Reaching into the inside pocket of his coat Randolph pulled out an oblong blue jewelry box. “I had this made especially for you.”

  Brooke gaze flickered from Randolph to the box. Her stomach felt jittery. “I don’t understand.”

  “You mean a lot to me and I don’t want to lose you.” Opening the box he lifted a diamond bracelet and put it on her arm.

  Brooke gasped at the stones, A-1 flawless and glittering, circling her wrist in a fiery display of beauty and perfection.

  “I hope this proves my sincerity and my love.” Reaching into his pocket again, he pulled out an airline package. “First class tickets to Atlanta. A limo and driver will be waiting at baggage claim to bring you to the house to meet my parents. And I’ll have another surprise that will put that one to shame.”

  Her eyes widened. “A ring?”

  “You’ll have to come and see.” He pulled her into his arms. “I’ve missed you, Brooke.” His mouth lowered.

  At the last second, she turned her head. “Wait! This is too fast.”

  His lips brushed her cheek. “This is what we’ve both wanted. Come to Atlanta.”

  Everything she ever wanted was within her grasp. Randolph was practically begging her to be his wife. So why wasn’t she shouting with joy? John. “I need time.”

  “I have to leave this afternoon. I’m taking over new accounts at Daddy’s bank. Today is Tuesday, I expect to see you no later than Saturday. You can catch an early flight and be there by noon.” He smiled indulgently. “I probably shouldn’t tell you, but Mother is planning a little dinner party with some of our closest friends to introduce you to, but I know how women like to dress up for such things so I wanted you prepared.”

  Or did you want to make sure I wouldn’t embarrass you by not dressing appropriately? “I didn’t think your mother cared for me.”

  A brief frown marred the perfection of his handsome face. “You’re mistaken.” He glanced at his eighteen-karat gold watch. “I have to go. I’ll see you Saturday morning.”

  Brooke watched him leave, then looked at the bracelet, weighing heavily on her arm. She wanted to cry.

  * * *

  Brooke’s phone call, that it was urgent she see him, had John on edge. There was something in her voice that had him pacing the floor since she’d called thirty minutes ago. At the knock on his office door he swung around. He’d already told everyone he didn’t want to see anyone, no matter what. “Come in.”

  The door opened and Brooke came inside and closed the door behind her. Her face was haunted. Instead of running to him as she always had, she remained by the door. His gut twisted. “What is it?”

  “I—” Her hand shoved over her head and the light flashed off the diamond bracelet on her wrist.

  He knew. “He’s back, isn’t he?”

  She swallowed convulsively before speaking. “Yes.”

  The pain almost sent John to his knees. “Thanks for telling me in person.” Ordering his feet to move, his knees not to buckle, he went around to his desk and sat down. “Goodbye, Brooke.”

  “That’s all you have to say?”

  He kept his head down, staring at papers he couldn’t see. “Good luck.”

  Crossing the room, she swung his chair around. “Look at me!”

  Slowly he lifted his head. He’d carry her face with him always. And the regret. It had taken losing her to realize how much he loved her. Leaning back in his chair he folded his arms across his chest to keep from grabbing Brooke and begging her to stay.

  “If … if I thought this was going someplace—”

  “It’s not.” He cut her off. He couldn’t compete financially with the other man and he was unwilling to risk Brooke leaving later because she was tired of the simple things. He wouldn’t do that to his children or himself.

  She swallowed. “I thought you cared.” Her voice trembled.

  “Not enough.” Please leave, he thought, while I can still let you go. He wheeled in his chair and picked up his pen. The door closed and his head fell forward.

  She was gone and he felt as if his heart had been ripped from his chest.

  * * *

  Wednesday at eleven i
n her new Albert Nipon fashionable black suit, Claire walked into the meeting for the Business Professionals of Charleston. Although Gray said he’d be there, her pulse hammered erratically when she saw him. Seeing her, he excused himself from a group of people that included his grandmother and went to her.

  “Hello, beautiful.”

  “Hi, handsome.”

  His gaze swept down to her feet in their stylish three-inch heels. “Looks like you’re getting the hang of it.”

  She smiled into his teasing face. “Practice.”

  “Come on, I want you to meet some people.” He took her by the elbow. “Many have already read the two newspaper articles. You won’t have any problem gaining membership.”

  Gray’s words proved correct. She was warmly accepted. However, Claire was smart enough to know that it was Gray and his grandmother who the people didn’t want to offend, not her.

  Taking a seat at the round table for eight between Gray and his grandmother, Claire ate the surprisingly delicious chicken and mixed vegetables, and tried to keep straight the names of the many people who stopped by. After the speech by the president it was time to introduce potential new members by going from table to table. Finally they reached them. Under the table Gray squeezed her hand in reassurance.

  Mrs. Livingston started to stand. Gray got up to assist with her chair.

  There was a collective gasp, then whispers grew. Claire turned as everyone in the room did and felt the floor shift beneath her feet. Beautiful and seductive as ever, Jana stood in the doorway, her eyes trained on Gray.

  The swift hatred and rage on Gray’s face was frightening. Claire instinctively reached for his hand. He seemed oblivious to everything except Jana. Claire looked back at the woman and saw her smiling. She wore couture and she wore it well. She was stunning in an Armani lavender and charcoal suit with a draped collar that seductively curved over her full breasts. There wasn’t a woman in the room who could match her for beauty or sensuality. Brooke’s appeal was subtle; Jana’s demanded attention.

  “Gray, please sit down,” his grandmother told him.

  His body rigid, his jaw tight, he didn’t move.