Cutter (Laurel Springs Emergency Response Team Book 4)

by Laramie Briscoe

  Me and Devante hop back into our ambulance and go about finishing our shift.

  “Three hours to go.” I glance at my watch, mentally counting down how much longer it’ll be until I can leave.

  “You’re pitiful,” he laughs, as he checks both the left and the right before proceeding to pull out of the parking lot.

  “I accept that.”

  People can make fun of me all day long, I don’t care. I finally have the woman I’ve always dreamed about, the life I’ve always wanted, and I’m being seen as a mature adult who can take care of himself. For so long I’ve fought the image of teenage Cutter everyone had.

  Now is my time to shine, now it’s time for me to get out from under what’s been holding me down, and the person who’s bringing this all out in me is hours away.

  But I’m only hours from seeing her and knowing that will help me get through the rest of this day. Soon I’ll have Laurel Springs in my rearview and Paradise Lost in my sights.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Rowan

  The knock on my door causes me to shriek in excitement. I know it’s Cutter, and even though it’s only been a few days, I’ve missed him. I run so fast I slide on the hardwood, hitting the door in the front foyer. “Ouch.”

  “Ro, are you okay?”

  I’m holding my forehead as I swing it open, and let him in. “Fine, I was too excited and skid.”

  He sweeps me up in his arms, and I’m back where I’ve wanted to be since I left Laurel Springs. “Missed you.” He runs his nose along my jawline.

  “Missed you, too.”

  This time I release him from my grip, letting him come completely into the living room. “Four days, huh?”

  “Four days,” he confirms, excitement in his eyes.

  But I can see it, the weariness marked by dark circles. “How long have you been awake?”

  He glances at his watch. “Going on twenty hours.”

  “As excited as I am that you’re here, I really think you should get some sleep. It won’t do either of us any good if you’re dead on your feet.”

  “But you work tomorrow,” he argues.

  “Which means you can sleep as long as you want.”

  He nods, appearing almost thankful. He gets undressed, slipping under the covers with me. Together we lie down in my bed, our arms wrapped tightly around one another.

  It’ll be the best sleep I’ve gotten in days.

  The next morning, I do my best not to wake him up, but he stirs as I get dressed.

  “Ro?” His voice is thick with sleep, the way I love hearing it.

  “Go back to sleep.” I bend down, kissing him on the forehead. “I’ll see you when I get off work. I’m changing my schedule around so I’m off tomorrow and we’ll be able to hang out all day.”

  “Okay.” He drops back down on the pillow, holding the one I had been sleeping on in his arms. Judging by his even breathing, he’s out before I even get up from the bed.

  This could be my life. If I were strong enough to take it and hold on with two hands. I’m scared I won’t be, but I know I want it. Want it more than anything I’ve ever wanted besides Etta being back in our lives.

  There’s one person I need to talk to though, the one who will give me the lowdown on how I’m feeling. The one who won’t sugarcoat anything. Dragging my cellphone over to me, I shoot off a text to Sullivan, asking for lunch.

  When he answers back that he’d love to, I feel better than I have in a long time.

  It feels like it takes forever to get to lunch, I want to talk to Sullivan that badly. When it’s finally lunch hour, I wave Isaac off, telling him I’m going to eat with my brother and ask him to drop me at a local park. When we get there, Sullivan is already at a picnic table with our food.

  “To what do I owe the pleasure of lunch with you?”

  He’s joking, we have lunch together all the time, but for some reason those words bring tears to my eyes.

  “Hey, what’s going on?”

  I struggle, not sure how I want to tell him how I’m feeling. I don’t want to come across as rude, or like I don’t appreciate what people have done for me.

  “I’m suffocating,” I start.

  “Do you need me to call Isaac back here?” His eyes are wide and full of fear.

  “No, not like that,” I laugh. “This place, Paradise Lost, it’s suffocating me. Everywhere I look there are memories. Good, but bad too, and some I’ll never be able to get over.”

  He relaxes and takes a drink of the milkshake he got. “So what does that mean?”

  “You know I went to visit Cutter the other day?”

  “Yeah.” He nods. “Dad thought it was crazy, Mom wished you well, and Braylon didn’t give a shit.”

  “What did you think?” I study him closely. The two of us have always been the closest and his response will mean everything to me.

  “I envy you,” he finally pushes out. “The fact that you’re able to go somewhere else.”

  “Do you feel suffocated too?”

  “Yeah.” He runs a hand through his hair. It’s getting longer and Dad’s been on him to get it cut. “Like I’m supposed to stay here and take over Dad’s spot, I’m supposed to keep chasing the same woman who wants abso-fuckin-lutely nothing to do with me. It’s almost like we’re not able to spread our wings and find out what else is out there. More than anything I want to be happy with what I’m doing every day, but there are so many preconceived notions about us here.”

  “Right? You get what I’m saying. If Cutter asks me, I’m moving to Laurel Springs.”

  All last night while he slept next to me I thought about it, and there’s really only one answer. To go, to leave all this behind and make a fresh start.

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  Sully’s always the voice of reason, always the person who knows we should think through everything we’re going to do.

  “You’ll be leaving Etta here.”

  “Maybe that’s the point.” I rub the vial attached to my necklace. “I love her desperately, but I need to let her go. Forever she’ll be stuck as a four-year-old in my mind and I refuse to see her as anything different. I think maybe I’m keeping myself stuck here because I don’t know how to move on. It can’t be healthy.”

  “How would you feel with no family around?” He raises an eyebrow.

  This is another question I’ve given a lot of thought and now’s the time to play my Ace. “I know you, bro. I know you’re not happy here. You just told me you feel suffocated. Come with me, I’m sure the Laurel Springs PD would appreciate your expertise.”

  “It’s a tough decision.” He takes a bite of his food, while I chew mine. “Dad would be disappointed.”

  I roll my eyes. “When is Dad not disappointed?”

  We share a look and then laugh. It’s the truth, he always wants the best for all of us, but what’s best is his definition. Not ours.

  “Let me think about it.”

  “Take all the time you need, Cutter’s not anywhere near asking me, I’m sure. Who knows if he even will, this may be something I have to decide to do on my own.”

  “I’m sure he’s going to ask you, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. It’s the way you deserve to be looked at.”

  That warms my chest, makes me happy to have a brother who’s so supportive of me and everything I’ve ever wanted to do. “You’ll have it too, Sully.”

  “Maybe.”

  But I can tell by the way he speaks he doesn’t believe it.

  “I promise.”

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, sis.”

  “Touché.”

  We finish our lunch in relative silence, neither one of us wanting to admit we’re not sure what to say or do. We both have some really big decisions to make, and they won’t be easy, but I hope they’ll be worth it.

  A few minutes later, Isaac turns in to pick me up. Sully grabs our stuff, throwing it away before he walks me to the ambulance. On
ce there he hugs me tight.

  “You’re shining, Ro. Whatever it is he’s doing, he’s doing it right.”

  “Which is why I want you with me.” I hug him tighter. “You always told me I needed a better man than Tommie. I got one, and I want you to see how he treats me. This is everything you always wanted for me.”

  He lets go, opening the door for me.

  “Hey.” He waves to Isaac. “Y’all stay safe out here.”

  Isaac waves back. “You too.”

  When Sully shuts my door, Isaac looks over at me. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

  I shouldn’t be surprised. He’s known everything about me since we started being partners. There’s not been one thing I’ve been able to hide from him, even when I wanted to.

  “I’m leaving.” I nod, sure of it now that I’ve talked to Sullivan.

  “I’m gonna miss you.” Issac puts his sunglasses down over his eyes, and if I’m not mistaken he’s hiding the emotions he’s feeling.

  “I’m gonna miss you too, I’m gonna miss it here.”

  I can’t lie, this has been my home since I was born, there will be things I won’t be able to get anywhere else, but change can be good and I feel like I’m ready for one. In fact I know I’m ready for one.

  The stupid thing to do would be to keep moving in the same direction I’ve been moving in and then wonder why there isn’t an improvement in my life. If I want one, I have to make it happen, and this golden opportunity has been laid in my lap. I must take it, I’m not sure when I’ll have another one.

  “But I’ve been living in the past for too long,” I continue. “The past is keeping me from having a future, and it’s making my present worse.”

  “Then you’ve definitely got to make a change,” Isaac agrees. “If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you, and only you can make that decision for yourself.”

  As we leave the park, I’m ninety-nine percent sure I’ve made up my mind. Now all I have to do is figure out how I’m going to execute this life change.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Cutter

  Going to the beach is something different for me. We went sometimes when I was little, but it was hard with Mom always working at The Café. I, of course, did the whole Spring Break experience, but it’s not the same as coming with Rowan.

  “We’ll park in the EMT lot.” She winks as she turns her car in, displaying her badge. “It’s almost ten bucks an hour to park in the public lots. Everybody who works here does it.”

  “Little rule breaker,” I joke as she parks in one of the back spaces.

  “Sometimes rules are meant to be broken.”

  This is a side of her I like. One where she’s not so completely worried about what other people think of her. It’s cute and sexy. We get out, grabbing our stuff out of the trunk.

  “How long has it been since you’ve been to the beach to have fun?” she asks as we walk across the street onto the public part of the sand.

  “Not since you swallowed for me there a few days ago,” I laugh as her eyes grow big and she busts out laughing.

  “Cutter!”

  “Kidding, it’s been a while. Like since Spring Break my freshman year of college.”

  “I’m sure not much has changed, you’ve just gotten older.”

  “Look at you with the jokes.”

  We find a spot to lay our stuff, and then I watch as she shrugs out of her t-shirt and shorts. I’m not sure what I expected, but what I get is so far out of my wildest dreams, I’m flabbergasted. She’s wearing a one-piece with one side cut-out and it’s giving me ideas.

  “Holy fuck, Ro.”

  “I bought it last year.” She grins. “And I’ve not had a chance to wear it yet. I thought I’d wear it for you.”

  Knowing she’s wearing something for me is giving me a semi. “Let’s get in the water.”

  We grab hands, running down to the edge, not stopping until I’m thigh deep in the foamy surf. It’s up to her chest and she reaches up, grabbing hold of me. Her thighs are wrapped around my waist and my hands are supporting her as she leans back, dipping her hair into the water. It’s down today; I decided not to make a big deal about it, but I wanted to.

  For at least an hour, we play in the water, swimming out and coming back in. I pick her up and throw her, she swims out of my range and teases me by slyly pushing one of the shoulder straps down.

  “Stop,” I laugh. “You’re gonna get something you can’t handle.”

  “I’m pretty sure I’ve proven to you I can handle it.”

  When the sun is high in the sky, she looks at me. “I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry. Let’s walk down the pier and get some lunch.”

  We leave our towels on the beach, but put our coverups back on and walk hand-in-hand along the shoreline. There are families and kids running past us. When we’re almost to the pier a football lands at our feet.

  “Sorry!” some kids yell. “Can you throw it back to us?”

  “Yeah, Mr. College Football Player. Throw it back to them.”

  I put more heat on it than I should. When the kid catches, he asks if I’ll throw back and forth with them. “You throw better than my brother,” he whines.

  “Sorry, I’m going to get some lunch.” I point up to the pier. “Maybe some other time.”

  Putting my arm around Rowan’s neck, I guide her up the stairs.

  “I think you broke that kid’s heart.”

  “Then I’m a first in a long line - he’s got to get used to it.”

  She giggles. “You’re harsh.”

  “Life isn’t all fairytales and marshmallows.”

  “Marshmallows? Where did that even come from?” She snorts.

  I point over to one of the booths that proclaims it’s selling s’mores. “They’re my favorite treat.”

  We head on over to the booth, purchase corn dogs, fries to share, and the s’mores treat I’m not sure I can leave here without trying. We get a seat in the shade and listen to the waves as they beat the sand.

  “This is almost the perfect day.” Ro stretches.

  “Almost?”

  “Only thing that would make it better would be a beer in my hand, but alcohol isn’t allowed out here.”

  She’s got a point, but I’d say it’s pretty perfect being here with her. We’re lazy as we eat our food.

  “I wish we had a place like this in Laurel Springs.”

  “No you don’t.” She shakes her head. “It’s crowded in the summer and fall. Vacationers are the worst kinds of people, they always do something to disturb the ecosystem around them. I wish we weren’t so well known.”

  “That’s fair.”

  “Let’s walk some of this off,” she suggests, nodding toward the end of the pier where there are a few shops and some game booths set up.

  It doesn’t take long for us to get there, and when we do, she pulls me into a photo booth. “Let’s take our picture.”

  I reach out, putting some money into the slot before I have a seat and pull her on my lap.

  “Smile,” she instructs, so I put my chin on her shoulder and smile brightly as the picture is taken.

  “Goofy,” I say this time, sticking my tongue out and crossing my eyes.

  “Serious,” she giggles.

  “You won’t get serious if you’re laughing.”

  She looks at me and I look at her. The moment is perfect as she tilts her head to the side for a kiss. We hear the picture get taken right as I’m shoving my tongue in her mouth, trying to see how far she’ll let me take this.

  My hand moves up her shirt, cupping her breast through her swimsuit. Unabashedly my thumb runs over her nipple, groaning when I feel it spring to life. I’ve never been with a woman who is as responsive as her, and I’m obsessed. Literally addicted to the way she makes me feel.

  Someone knocks on the side of the booth. “Are you done in there yet?”

  I groan, whispering in her ear. “Guess we are now.”

  Both
of us try to make ourselves presentable as we exit. “Sorry,” she apologizes. “We thought we had a couple more pictures to take.”

  The knowing look from the male in this couple lets me know he is completely on to us. We snatch our pictures up before walking farther down the pier. There’s a bunch of games set up, proclaiming you can win stuffed animals or even money.

  “You want me to win you something?”

  She pinches at my waist. “You think you can? There’s nothing less attractive than a man who thinks he’s hot stuff and then can’t deliver.”

  “Oh I can assure you I deliver every single time.”

  We both know we aren’t talking about these games, but it’s fun to play with her. I’ve never had this kind of teasing relationship. It’s one I’ve watched my parents and my brother have. I always wondered what it would feel like.

  Happiness.

  I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

  Which scares the fuck out of me, but as Dad said, love is scary. It’s the great unknown and the world’s biggest gut-check.

  We stop at the water balloon booth.

  “Step right up. You get five darts for three dollars. You get a gift for every balloon popped, or you can trade it in for a bigger gift.”

  “See anything you like?”

  I watch Rowan eye everything in the booth, wondering what the hell she’s going to pick. A lot of it looks cheap, but it could have sentimental value of our day together, of this time in our new relationship. “That bear over there.” She points. “Wearing the Paradise Lost Beach t-shirt. Win me him.”

  “You heard the lady.” I pluck down ten bucks, in all honestly not sure of how my skills will match up to this totally rigged game.

  The first one hits the balloon but doesn’t bust it.

  “Oh come on.”

  This happens for two more, and then I’m pissed. Ro stands at my side giving me encouragement, but it’s not doing a whole hell of a lot when, even though my darts are hitting the balloons, nothing is happening.

  “Dude, you rigged the fuck out of this game.”