When I walk in, there aren’t many people inside, the lunch rush is long past, and that’s probably why Dad’s decided to come visit. Mom usually uses the downtime to make orders and do anything else that doesn’t get completed in the morning.
Because I know my parents, I make sure and knock loudly on her office door. I don’t just barge in. Been there, done that, and have the therapy bills to prove it.
“Come in.”
Since she said come in, they must at least be clothed. When I walk in, they both look up at me, surprise on their faces.
“What do I owe this pleasure?” Mom asks, coming around the desk to hug me tightly.
“Was just driving through.” I lift her slightly off the ground with the strength of my hug. “Saw both your cars parked here and thought I’d stop in.”
Dad knows me better than anyone, he looks at me like he can see right through me. “What do you need to talk about?” He asks, before I even have a seat.
“Maybe he just wants to come say ‘hi’ to us,” Mom gripes to him. “Why do our kids always have to have an ulterior motive when they stop by to say hi? You’re going to make it so that they never come by anymore.”
They begin to argue slightly, if you can even call it that, but before they get too far into it, I put my hand up, stopping them. “Dad’s right, I do have some stuff I want to talk to you about.”
“See.” Dad raises an eyebrow, giving her a look of triumph.
“Oh stuff it, Holden.”
“I’ll stuff it…”
“No, no more!’ I yell. “Please no more. Can you two just let me talk?”
They stop their arguing, playful as it may be, and give me their full attention. “There’s just a few things I have to get off my chest. I’ve needed to do it for a while, and since I’m going to be starting a new phase of my life soon, I’d like to start it without this hanging over me.”
It’s apparent they quickly realize I’m serious.
“Go on.” Mom reaches out to put her hand over mine.
“When I came back here from Tuscaloosa, I was broken, upset, and not sure how the rest of my life was going to go. I’d been hurt in ways I couldn’t express. The only reason Ransom knew was because he was there that day. He saw what happened, and I begged him not to tell anyone else.”
“Ransom’s a good brother,” Dad says. “Every time I’ve asked him, he’s told me to ask you.”
“Why haven’t you?”
My dad, who always has an answer for everything, is silent.
“I wanted you to ask me, I wanted to be able to confide in you, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you what had happened. Then everyone heard about me losing my scholarship and it turned into I was a fuck-up who didn’t know how to take care of the things he was given. But neither one of you asked me what happened. That hurt more than anything.”
Their faces are sober as they realize what I’ve said is true.
Mom is the first to speak. “I thought I was respecting your space. You were an adult who was living his own life. You’d told me that enough times.” She shrugs. “I had so many secrets when I was your age, and I had my reasons for keeping them, I thought you were doing the same.”
“But I wasn’t,” I finish for her.
“I’m sorry,” she apologizes. “So sorry you expected more from us and we let you down.”
“My dad and I,” Dad starts, “we never had those father/son talks like I have with y’all. It’s hard for me, still hard for me to sit down and get all up in my feelings with you two. Y’all were raised in such a different way than me. When you didn’t want to talk about what happened, I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to face the fact you’d lost something so precious. I felt like a failure as a parent. Felt like I didn’t teach you how to appreciate things in life. It was easier for me to believe you were a screw-up, and if you tell me I’m wrong, then I’m wrong and I apologize from the depths of my soul. But you were an adult and I wanted to believe you were handling things the way you needed to.”
“I want to tell you what happened.” I look at the two of them. “If you’re willing to hear me out.”
“I think I speak for both of us” - Mom moves her chair around her desk - “when I say we’re ready to listen.”
So I launch into the whole sordid tale and let them know I lost my scholarship because I fell in love with the wrong girl.
“I beat the shit out of that guy, and it was either I leave, or he press charges and then the NCAA find out the football program had recruiting violations,” I finish. “Then I would have had to admit I’d unknowingly taken bribes. Neither one of those things was a good look for me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Dad looks pissed. “I could have helped you.”
“Exactly the reason you didn’t ask what was going on. I was an adult who needed to take care of his own shit. And that’s what I did. I mapped out a plan to get my EMT certification, figured out how to get a job in Laurel Springs, and went about putting my life back together.”
“That couldn’t have been easy. I saw you struggling.” Mom wipes at tears under eyes. “But I didn’t offer to help.”
“Because I’d pushed you away so many times in my youth. Look, I know I’m not perfect. I’m never going to be. I know I’ve fucked up plenty of times and I’ve lost so many chances, but here’s the thing, I don’t want to lose those chances anymore. I’m holding on tightly with everything I have.”
“Does this have anything to do with Rowan?” Dad asks, his brow raised.
“She’s moving up here.”
They both look pleased. “Is there anything you need for us to do?” Mom asks. “Dinner a few nights, moving? Whatever you need we’ll be here to help. You know we will. We won’t let you down, Cutter.”
“You’ve never really let me down,” I argue.
Dad gets up walking over to where I’m sitting. He has a seat next to me and puts his arm around my shoulder. “I beg to differ. You just sat here and told me all the ways I’ve failed you. I’m not gonna fail you again.”
“It was once,” I remind him. “Once in my entire life. Looking back on it, it doesn’t even seem to be that significant.”
“The problem is I failed you, no matter how significant or insignificant it was. I promise to be here for you from now on, and if I’m not understanding, hit me over the head and force me to look. Sometimes I don’t catch hints.”
Mom snickers. “That’s the understatement of the year.
“I gotta go start getting the place ready for Rowan. She’s moving in later this week. I just wanted to stop and clear the air. I don’t want all this hanging over me, especially not when I’m trying to be the bigger person.”
“That was mature of you.” Dad grins.
“You’ll make a man out of me yet,” I laugh.
“You’ve already made a man out of yourself.”
That may very well be the best compliment anyone has ever given me.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Rowan
“You don’t have to be so sad,” I tease Isaac as I reach over, grabbing his hand in mine. “I might not be here after tonight, but we’ll still be friends. You can call, text, FaceTime, come visit us - whatever you want to do. Just because I’m moving doesn’t mean you’re completely out of my life.”
“Just never thought you’d leave.” He looks over at me, a sad smile on his face.
“I never thought I’d leave either, but it’s going to be good for me.”
The more I say it the more I believe it. Maybe things had to happen the way they have for me to be able to appreciate it.
“You’re gonna miss the ocean.”
“I will, and I’ll miss Shucker’s, and my family, but I have to do something for myself. I’ve lived so much of my life being that person who was Etta’s mom that I didn’t know who I was anymore,” I say, doing my best to explain it to him.
“No, I get it. I really do, I’m just going to miss you like crazy.”<
br />
“I’m gonna miss you too. I’ve never had a friend like you, never had a partner like you and probably never will again. Trust me when I say, I know what I’m going to be missing when I move. It won’t be easy, but it’s necessary.”
“What if they stick me with someone I hate?” he continues.
“Stop being a whiney ass. You’ll learn to love them, just like you learned to love me.”
“But it took time, Ro. Like we had to come to an understanding. I feel like we just got in our groove and now you’re leaving me.”
Truth is, I’m sad to be leaving him. Isaac has been the kind of friend to me I needed in my time of despair. Not many would have stuck by me the way he has.
“Well, if you’re completely worried about me leaving, you can help me move tomorrow. I happen to know you’re off.”
He grimaces. “Why would I want to spend my day off helping you move?”
“Because you love me, Isaac, and I would do the same for you.”
He pretends to think about it, but I know he’s going to help me, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked him.
“Fuck, okay. Guess I better get used to the layout of Laurel Springs since it looks like I’ll be visiting.”
“You’ll love it.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Cutter
I’m lucky to have the people I do in my life. They’ve taken both Rowan and Sullivan under their wings, and they’ve taken it upon themselves to get both of them moved in without complaining. Except now that we’re at Sullivan’s we’re seriously starting to feel it.
Ransom lifts the ends of a bed, grunting with the exertion. “God, I’m going to be toast tomorrow, and it’s supposed to be arm day.”
“Make it rest day,” I grit through my teeth as we move down the U-Haul and then back up into the apartment Sullivan is renting.
“Might make it call-in-sick-to-work day.”
We laugh, because I know he won’t, not unless he can get Stella to stick around with him.
“Da Da Da!” Keegan yells from where he sits over to the side with the girls.
“He’s cheering you on, babe,” Stella laughs.
“I’m gonna need him to shoot up about three feet, gain some muscles, and come help us,” he complains as we continue up the stairs to the open door of the apartment.
They laugh at the two of us as Ransom yells, “Pivot!”
“Laugh all you want. If we ever move again,” I look over at Rowan, “You’re doing the heavy lifting.”
“We’ll see about that.” She gives me a look that tells me if I’m up for it, tonight she’ll show me exactly how much she appreciates the work I’m doing.
“How many more trips do we have?” Ryan asks, as he passes us going the other way.
“Too goddamn many,” Ransom complains.
“Dude, what is wrong with you? Who pissed in your cheerios?”
“That child of mine.” He looks down at Keegan. “Cockblocked me again.”
Normally I’d commiserate with him and be his sounding board, but instead I point down to where he’s sitting with Rowan.
“While you’re griping about your son being here, that one is wishing her daughter was.”
“Damn man, I…” He doesn’t say anything, but he wipes his face. “Give me a few minutes.”
I watch as my brother goes down the stairs, grabbing his son up, hugging him tightly, kissing him on the cheek, and right then I realize how important she’s going to be to this family.
Rowan
Cutter and I wave at the backs of the group who came to help us today, including the group who helped my brother. Somehow, we got everything moved in one day, and while I’m tired, I’m also wired. With this being my first night in the apartment with Cutter, I kind of have an idea.
“I’m beat.” He yawns as he stretches his arms above his head.
We both took showers while food was being delivered, so we’re as clean as we’re going to get. I fake a yawn right along with him. “Me too.”
“Let’s get locked up and head to bed.”
There’s a grin on my face as I follow him into the bedroom, eyeing the floor-length mirror he has over to the left-hand side.
“Who gave you that mirror?” I ask again, even though he told me earlier today where he’d gotten it.
“Mom says it’s some sort of antique and it’s supposed to make the room look bigger. I have no idea, it’s just nice to see if what I’ve been doing in the gym is working.”
He’s standing in front of it now, rubbing his stomach.
I go up behind him as close as I dare. When it’s obvious he’s paying more attention to what’s in the mirror than what’s around him, I slowly wrap my arms around his stomach.
“Love you too,” he chuckles patting my hand with his.
Keeping my arms around his waist, I pull him back slightly, making sure my calves touch the bed, before I slip my hand inside the waistband of his shorts, gripping his cock.
“Ro, what the fuck? Oh my God,” he groans, tilting his head back.
Now that his head is tilted back I can speak in his ear. “Let me thank you for letting me come live with you.”
Running my palm over his head, I gather up the moisture leaking from the tip and use it to move down his cock. “You don’t have to,” he groans when I make the trip again. “You don’t have to thank me.”
“But maybe I want to, and maybe I want to show you exactly how you make me feel. Just enjoy it.”
He swallows so hard I can hear it in the room. “Okay.”
It takes me a few minutes, but I coax him down on the floor. I sit behind him, my head off to the side so I can look at what I’m doing in the mirror. “Let’s get these off you.” I point to the shorts, knowing he’s not wearing anything underneath them.
He lifts up so that I can take them off, and that’s when I slowly start to stroke his cock, up and down. “Look.” I tip my chin to the mirror. “Watch me.”
His breath comes quicker, his chest panting with the shallow inhales and exhales. “That’s fucking sexy,” he says slowly and quietly.
“You know what else is?”
“What?”
“You trying to hold back.” I reach up, putting my hand over his mouth. “Don’t scream, Cutter. If I hear you, I stop.”
Our eyes meet and he makes a sound deep in his chest. I stop completely, letting go of his cock, watching as it jumps on its own, flexing with the need to be stroked.
“Damnit, Rowan. Put your hand back on me.”
“Promise you’ll be quiet.”
“I can’t.” His voice is tortured.
“You need to.” I quirk a brow at him.
“Okay, I’ll be quiet, just please stroke me.”
I do ask he asks, putting one hand back over his mouth, the other over his cock, jacking it up and down as his hips start to move.
His hands leave where they’ve been resting on his thighs to come to his nipples, tweaking them as his eyes move up and down with the motion of my hand. Judging by the hardness of his length, this isn’t going to last long, and. As I have the thought, he stiffens, and shoots all over my hand, and his stomach.
“Fucking hell,” he pushes the words out in between the pants.
But he’s still hard, and I’m hornier than I’ve ever been.
We look at each other, before he scoots across the carpet, reaching into the drawer beside the bed. I watch with appreciation as he takes a condom out and puts it over his length, getting undressed in record time.
When he lays back on the floor, I get on top and push down.
“Fuck, you’re wet, didn’t even have to prepare you,” he moans as I start to ride him.
“Something about you being so manly all day and taking charge of every situation. You made sure things got done and nobody questioned your authority.”
“Baby, if that’s what you need, I’ll do it for you every day.”
Pressing against his chest, I ride him har
d and fast, until I feel my body begin to tighten.
“Come for me,” he breathes out, his hands moving my hips up and down his body.
I close my eyes, tilt my head back and fly to heaven as he grabs my tits and empties himself into the condom for a second time.
As we come down, we look at each other, giggling, not believing what just happened. When he speaks, it’s the best words I’ve ever heard.
“Welcome home, Ro.”
Home.
I’m home.
Epilogue
Rowan
LSERT Friendsmas
The past few months have passed like so much of life does. Some days drag and we’re dying for the next one to start, but then we look up and we don’t know where they’ve gone.
Since I moved to Laurel Springs, most of my days have been those fast ones, especially where Cutter and the rest of our friends are concerned. They took me in as one of their own quickly, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to thank them enough.
But there is something that everybody is looking forward to, and that’s the gift exchange.
Whitney got my name, and I got hers.
“If there’s not a chick fight after these presents are opened, imma be pissed,” Devante laughs as he looks between the two of us.
He’s come into our friend group too, and become my new partner. We have a lot of fun during our shifts and I wouldn’t trade him for anything.
“My money’s on Whit,” Ryan says from where he sits, nursing his beer.
“Nope, you ain’t seen Ro restrain a drug addict trying to get off her stretcher. My girl Ro is takin’ her down.”
Whitney and I laugh as the group continues to trash talk.
“What do you say?” Sullivan looks up at Cutter.
“I have no dog in this fight. She knows I’ve always got her back.” He tilts his chin at me, giving me a grin I’ve become very accustomed to.
“Should we open together?” I ask looking at Whitney.
Cutter (Laurel Springs Emergency Response Team Book 4) Page 17