The Amish Christmas Gift

by Laura V. Hilton

  She sat, silent, still overwhelmed by the magnitude of the mess. Where would she even start? And his use of the word chat? So unusual for him. Was that on purpose?

  He clasped and unclasped his hands, staring down at them. “I know how awkward this is and tongues will wag. But I obviously need the help and so does Abigail. Not to mention you need a job. So, I will hire you part-time, starting about ten in the morning until around three in the afternoon, Monday through Friday. We won’t see each other. It’s just best this way.”

  In other words, he was still avoiding her—and using the gossips as an excuse.

  But he was right. With their history, and her lingering feelings for him, it was best this way.

  He still didn’t look up. “I can’t afford to pay much. Not what you’re worth. I just finished paying off one of Abigail’s hospital bills today, but she has ongoing therapy and doctor visits, plus a social worker has been coming by from time to time, making sure I am taking care of her adequately, I guess.” He sighed and named an amount. “I understand if you want to change your mind.”

  “That’s fine. Daed will just be glad I’m bringing money in and he’ll understand.” She’d be happy to work for Levi and Abigail for free. And to organize this mess and lift the burden from Levi’s shoulders. To be a partner of sorts to make his life a little easier even if he didn’t want her in it…though that would hurt. But given enough time and proximity, maybe Elsie would have a chance to make amends. Maybe she and Levi would stop avoiding each other. To start communicating. To become temporary friends again. Though she wouldn’t count on that. She was leaving after all…

  Levi gave a curt nod, rose to his feet, and started down the ladder steps. “Okay, then. I’ll show you the workshop. But other than an occasional cleanup, that isn’t your job.”

  She followed him down the ladder. “I’m anxious to see it. I’m curious about those lions and tigers and bears that clerk raved about yesterday.”

  He grunted.

  What was it with some men communicating in grunts?

  Abigail wasn’t anywhere in sight when Elsie peeked into the kitchen to say goodbye. Levi headed out the door so Elsie grabbed her sweater and bonnet, tugged them on, and followed him.

  Darkness had fallen, but she could still see clearly from the Englisch neighbors’ floodlights.

  He was halfway to the barn by the time she stepped outside. Wow, those boots stunk. How had she not noticed them before? She stopped at her buggy long enough to grab her candy cane—hopefully, the taste would eliminate the stench—then she ran to catch up with him. He tugged open the barn doors, flipped on the gaslights, and stepped into what seemed an unnaturally quiet building. And then she remembered Abigail mentioning that they’d sold the cow. Probably the chickens, too, since Elsie didn’t hear any clucking. No dog came to investigate.

  There was only the whinny of a lone horse.

  The barn smelled of sawdust, and Elsie smothered a sneeze. It emerged as a squeak.

  “Bless you,” Levi said. He opened another door, turned that light on, and moved aside.

  Elsie stuck the end of the candy cane into her mouth and stepped into Santa’s workshop.

  She took in racks of wood, a pegboard of tools, and makeshift tables covered with toys. A wooden train, carved but not sanded or painted, half-filled with wild animals. A stable with horses and a partially finished bull that were sized for action figures or fashion dolls. Maybe for a toy rodeo. Rocking horses and toddler-size rocking chairs. And that was with a quick glance.

  “Levi!” She pulled the candy from her mouth and pointed with it. “This is amazing!” He could go nationwide with a website. Other Amish had them for their businesses. If she could take a few pictures with her phone and talk to an Englisch girlfriend who designed websites…He’d object, of course, but it’d be for his own good.

  “I’d forgotten how you always smell of peppermint,” he said, his voice strangled. “It makes me want…” He shook his head.

  He wanted peppermint? She broke off the curved end, still in the wrapper, and held it out.

  After a moment’s hesitation, he took the end she’d sucked the color from.

  “It makes me want to kiss you. But this will have to suffice.” And he stuck the candy in his mouth.

  Chapter 6

  The workshop walls threatened to close in around Levi. He avoided Elsie’s shocked gaze. His face burned, and he muttered some sort of excuse—he had no idea what he actually said—and fled. Why did he say and do something so incredibly stupid as admitting he wanted to kiss her? Admitting that peppermint made him think of kissing her? And then he’d deliberately taken the piece her mouth had touched. All he knew was that this time he couldn’t control himself—seeing her in his home, his office, his workshop, hearing her words of praise, the scent of peppermint filling his senses and thoughts…Now Elsie knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’d never gotten over her.

  Not like it mattered, though. She was clearly over him, and even if she weren’t, his other reason for never marrying held fast. He was still a cursed man. A murderer.

  And if he didn’t get away from her tantalizing presence right that instant, he would sweep her into his arms and kiss her until he was senseless, mindlessly confessing all and then begging her to leave his heart, his home, his town, his state, and let him live his hopeless, loveless life without any chance of forgiveness.

  All the while he’d be silently pleading for her to stay.

  A wail rose in his throat. Choking him. He coughed it into submission.

  Levi hightailed it through the barn and out through the old cow doors. But he tasted the sweet mint in his mouth and couldn’t escape his thoughts of her so easily.

  A blast of cold air hit him and he silently cursed himself for forgetting to grab his jacket. No matter. He wouldn’t be found—or show up—until Elsie Miller was long gone. And he’d be very careful—and intentional—in avoiding her in the future.

  Really, even though she was custom-made—and jah, perfect—for his elf position, she was the last person he should’ve considered hiring due to their history and his continued affection for her. And when Abigail suggested her, he should’ve flat out told her no. Unfortunately, he would do almost anything to make his sister happy.

  Almost. Including hiring Elsie. Excluding courting Elsie again.

  But the thought of Elsie in an elf outfit—whoa. His body heated to the point where a jacket probably wasn’t necessary. Combined with the taste of peppermint in his mouth and the knowledge of what he’d said and done…

  Levi groaned.

  He stumbled through the out-of-control weeds growing on the uneven ground behind the barn—weeds he hadn’t taken the time to bother with since the explosion. They seemed so unimportant when, at age twenty-three, he was suddenly solely responsible for Abigail. For everything.

  Almost two years later, the weeds were still unimportant.

  So many other responsibilities weighed him down.

  Adulting was not easy.

  Not at all.

  Levi gulped at the lump that clogged his throat, swiped at the tears burning his eyes, and froze as somewhere behind him, Elsie’s sweet voice called out for him.

  The adult thing would be to turn around and face her and make some sort of believable plea for temporary insanity.

  He had nothing. Believable or otherwise.

  So he did the immature thing. Dropped down in the tall weeds and prayed for invisibility. At least the darkness worked in his favor.

  * * *

  Elsie took advantage of Levi’s absence and snapped photos of about ten handcrafted toys, including a wooden farm animal puzzle for toddlers. The Englischers who shopped online would just eat this up. That’d help Levi and Abigail, though he might have to hire someone to do the computer work. She wasn’t sure how to set up or maintain a website. Though that would change if she eventually took business classes in Chicago. For the first time, a burst of excitement filled her. She�
�d be able to help small Amish businesses everywhere.

  Minutes ticked by, and Levi didn’t return. He wasn’t going to, of course. She should’ve guessed. He was a master at avoiding her.

  But she couldn’t let Levi just disappear into thin air after his confession. If his desire to avoid her during working hours wasn’t personal aversion, dislike, or only for the gossips but because he was too tempted to wish for or want things he couldn’t have, maybe she could change his mind, apologize for her hurtful words, and give them a second chance…

  At friendship, of course. The romance was dead. Mostly dead. It was only alive in her dreams. And she needed to let those die.

  Unfortunately, it seemed he was able to disappear. She couldn’t find him anywhere in the barn and when she glanced out the wide-open back cow door, all she saw was a weedy pasture. Not a man in sight.

  He’d probably headed for the house and was even now hiding in his bedroom or the loft office.

  She sighed and started to close the cow doors but then stopped. She scanned the lit-up fence line, but no one skulked along the barbed wire looking for escape.

  She’d return to the house to find Abigail, say goodbye, and thank her for the job, then head home, but if Levi thought he could avoid her forever, he had another think coming.

  As Mammi Pearl always said, “A wise woman knows when to be foolish.”

  It was time to do whatever it took to get Levi’s attention because he’d made it very clear he was hers for the taking. Okay, sort of clear. He wanted to kiss her. That was a step in the right direction to winning back his heart. Maybe.

  At least until she left.

  She’d take that chance. She’d let him go once. She wouldn’t lose him again—make that she wouldn’t let him lose her again. Levi was hands down the best man she’d ever dated or been courted by. The only one she’d ever wanted to marry. Somehow she had to get his attention.

  As friends.

  For now. Temporarily.

  Elsie started to close the barn doors again, but this time a buzzing sound and a light in the flattened weeds near the exit caught her attention. Was that a shoe sticking out? The lace dangled untied and the hem of a pair of pants brushed the heel.

  She caught her breath but was too realistic to seriously consider the possibility of a suspense novel coming to life in the Wyses’ overgrown pasture. No, those pants and shoes belonged to one very-much-alive man engaging in a childish game of hide-and-seek. For a second she was tempted to utter the very true words, “Ready or not, here I come.” Or maybe he was currently thinking as her nephew did when he was naughty and covered his eyes: I can’t see you so you can’t see me. Whatever. It didn’t work. Not for her nephew and certainly not for Levi.

  But she didn’t know what to say to the man-child. Declaring her intentions to rewin his heart would get her fired and getting fired twice in one day was a feat she didn’t want to accomplish.

  She took several steps forward and nudged his foot with hers, just enough to let him know his hiding place was found. “Danki for the job, Levi. I really appreciate it and I’ll try not to let you or Abigail down.”

  The foot moved. “You’re welcome,” he said. Then he sat, his face probably turning beet red as he looked at her. Though, to his credit, he didn’t offer a lame excuse. He also didn’t reach for the still-buzzing, lit-up cell phone that had given his location away.

  “I’ll say goodbye to Abigail.”

  “Hiring you was her idea, you know. I never would’ve done it,” he blurted, but pain filled his voice.

  She winced. He never would’ve hired her?

  Did his stomach ache the way hers did after saying unkind things? When she said hurtful things, it didn’t feel so good. In fact, if felt terrible, like it had for weeks after their breakup fight.

  He stood and sucked in air, then exhaled noisily. “I’d appreciate you never mentioning my foolish words and actions.”

  “Of course,” she murmured. She missed the Levi who was slow to speak and slow to anger. Had she done this to him? Had she taught him how to lash out irrationally?

  “I have no intentions to act on them,” he said formally as he pocketed his still-buzzing phone. “You and I are history and—”

  “I am well aware of what we are.” Elsie backed away. He didn’t need to know that she did intend to act on them. Eventually. Not yet. As soon as he got over hating her. Not that he said he did, but he must. Otherwise he wouldn’t have said that they were history and he never would have hired her.

  He nodded. “Of course.”

  “No worries, Levi. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “No, you won’t,” he stated. “We can’t—”

  She growled, though she tried to muffle it. Her eyes burned even though she recognized the defense mechanism for what it was. Rejection still stung. And he didn’t want to hire her? It wasn’t about the gossips. It was about his loathing?

  Elsie blinked back the tears. A simple conversation would settle this, but she was too upset to talk rationally, and apparently he was, too. They’d have another ugly fight.

  Except he wouldn’t talk otherwise.

  She opened her mouth, then shut it.

  A wise woman knows when to be foolish…

  She’d take the foolish first step. She didn’t have to stay where she wasn’t wanted. She stepped into the darkness of the cow barn and shut the door.

  Hopefully, he’d take the wise, rational next step and follow her so they could talk it out.

  And there was one way to make sure he would…

  * * *

  Levi waited long enough to be semisure Elsie had headed to the house, then reached to open the barn door. It wouldn’t budge. He sighed. She must have locked it, adding insult to injury. With her attitude, maybe his, too, her employment probably wouldn’t last long. She’d quit in frustration. Firing wouldn’t be necessary. Though truthfully, he probably shouldn’t have said any of those hurtful words. He’d wished them all back immediately. This was why it was better to be slow to speak as Daed always said.

  He pulled out his cell phone, lit the flashlight, and trudged through the darkness to the front of the barn.

  Her horse and buggy still waited, spotlighted by the neighbors’ floodlights. Something he’d never thought he’d be thankful for. He’d actually resented them at first.

  Instead of proceeding to the warm house, he went into the front of the barn to his still-lit workshop that somehow still smelled of peppermint and opened the voicemail to listen to whatever the recent caller had to say. It’d better be important after helping him appear to be an idiot in front of Elsie. Hiding like a child. And then mouthing off…

  He was an idiot. His face burned with shame. Next time, he’d act like an adult.

  If there was a next time.

  He pressed in his voicemail code—the date he’d accidentally killed his family. An ongoing source of regret. But they would always be remembered. He didn’t dare forget. Didn’t a president or someone equally important once say, “Those who don’t remember the past are doomed to repeat it”? He definitely didn’t want to repeat the horrible event. Ever.

  “Hey, Santa. This is Mark at the gift shop. I thought you’d like to know that we sold the circus train already and have orders for two more. Give me a call as soon as you can.” A number followed.

  An order for two more circus trains filled with animals? Levi looked around the workshop. There was a partially finished train, but only a few animals. He’d need to stay out here and work for a few hours tonight and, if that Englischer who’d given him a sewage shower today hadn’t gotten a plumber yet, stay home and start work on filling the orders tomorrow. These toys weren’t made in a day. Generally, not even in a week.

  In fact, Daed always called it a hobby, one to enjoy after the real job.

  But the check he’d gotten yesterday proved it could pay—and pay well.

  At least around the holidays. Christmas was only a few weeks away.

  S
tress weighed down on him. How could he…? Did he dare follow the money or should he be honest and tell Mark he asked the impossible?

  He needed the money for Abigail’s ongoing medical bills and so many other things.

  But Daed always warned against letting greed rule.

  Was it greed if it would all go toward caring for Abigail?

  There were two sides to this coin, though. He’d work super hard and for long hours to make the order and get the money. But it also seemed to be better-paying work than the home improvement and honey-do jobs that he and Daed did for income during the fall and winter. It would also let him pursue his passion for part of the year in a way that could truly support his sister without any sewer showers or low-paying guilt jobs for Luke. Now that the biggest hospital debt was paid, he could potentially settle into a “saner” pace of work.

  Should he continue Wyse and Sons Construction or close it down and open Santa’s Workshop for business?

  The hobby versus the real job…

  Think about it, son. Use the brains Gott gave you. Daed’s voice played in Levi’s memory.

  Levi wandered over to look at the partially finished train to try to decide on the best course of action.

  And there on the flatbed car was the half candy cane Elsie had broken off for him.

  A blatant reminder that Elsie was back in his life.

  Not that he was in any danger of forgetting.

  She was another necessary step in taking care of Abigail to the best of his ability.

  He needed the money to pay her wages. And paying Elsie was taking care of her, too. Just as he would if she were his wife.

  He groaned.

  Oh, good Lord. I’m following the money.

  It was a prayer, though he wasn’t sure how Gott would answer. Maybe it was a confession.

  If only he could talk to Daed and ask his advice. Other than to think about it. Would Daed still call it a hobby if he’d seen the check Levi deposited? And talking to Daed would mean Levi could apologize for his bout of stupidity not warning the family about the gas leak. If only he could do it over…