Hate Story

by Nicole Williams

  “You can leave on your own, or I’ll make you leave.”

  I crossed my arms and continued staring at the shower curtain, willing her to try. “You will have to shove and push and pry me out of your life for the rest of your life because I’m not leaving. Ever. I’m not going anywhere, so why don’t you get that through your head now so we can talk about what comes next?”

  Nina was silent, nothing but the sound of the shower filling the room. My shoes echoed across the tile as I moved toward the shower.

  “You and me. Last night . . . it wasn’t supposed to happen. The guy I agreed to marry for a sum of money is the first guy I’ve slept with and the only one I’ve ever had feelings for. That’s messed up. That wasn’t supposed to happen, and now I don’t know what to do.”

  Her words hit me like a balm, soothing every burn and wound. I’d done it. Cut through the disguise. Gotten to the root of her removal.

  “We’ll do what everyone else does.” I moved closer, until I could have touched the shower curtain if I wanted. “We’ll take it one day at a time.”

  Nina’s sigh rolled through the room. “It’s never that simple. And people who think it is never make it.”

  “I’m not going to leave you. I’m not going to walk away.” My words were loud, bouncing off the walls of the small room. I wasn’t sure where my family was or if they were hearing any of this, and I just didn’t care. Somewhere in my months of being with Nina, she’d become more important than anything else. My green card included.

  It seemed so insignificant now that I’d met her. I’d started our relationship wanting one thing and was standing here now, wanting something else entirely.

  “You’re not going to walk away?” Nina repeated slowly. “You have the date for our divorce down in a contract.”

  My eye squeezed shut. The damn contract. “That was before.”

  “Before what?”

  Isn’t it obvious? I didn’t want to scare her more by dropping the real word on her, so I softened it. “Before I fell for you.” When Nina didn’t say anything, I kept going. “I’m not going to leave you.” I moved closer, her silence stretching on. “I’m not going to hurt you.” My fingers curled around the edge of the shower curtain, her silence deafening. “I’m not going to betray you.”

  I couldn’t take one minute more before sliding the curtain open just enough to look inside to make sure she hadn’t disappeared. Nina felt like more of a dream than reality, and I wasn’t sure what I’d do when I was forced to finally wake up.

  I found her sitting on the shower floor, curled up into a ball, her whole body shaking as the shower pounded down on her.

  “Nina . . .” My voice was tight from the way my vocal cords were collapsing from seeing her this way, knowing I was responsible for it.

  “Just go, Max. Please.” Her voice was shaking too.

  Stepping inside the shower, suit and shoes and all, I kneeled beside her. The water pummeled the side of my face, saturating my jacket instantly. “Didn’t you just hear what I said? I’m not leaving you. Ever.”

  When my hand slid a sheet of hair back from her face, she flinched. “Everyone leaves me. Everyone.”

  I scooted closer, blinking through the water. “Not me.”

  As my hand moved back to her face, sliding the last wet ribbon of hair from her cheek, her hand lifted slowly until it was covering mine.

  “Not me,” I repeated as she tangled her fingers through mine. “Never.”

  Now that I could see her face, I could tell she was crying. It should have been impossible to tell the difference between tears and shower water, but it wasn’t. Not with Nina. I could have pointed out every last tear her eyes had shed.

  Her hand slid mine down to her lips, holding it so she could kiss it. She didn’t stop. She continued to kiss my hand until she’d touched every part of my palm, then she twisted it to kiss the backside, lingering along each knuckle.

  My chest felt on fire. With relief. With awe. With dedication. She’d let me past her walls. She was opening up in the way she feared most because . . . she trusted me.

  My jaw tightened when that hit me. Nina trusted me. She was proving it right this moment as her lips continued up my wrist, her body relaxing and opening up to me. It might have gone against every instinct life had equipped her with. It might have gone in the face of every warning firing in her. It might have scared the shit out of her the way it did out of me, but together, we were moving beyond the fear of our pasts to embrace the hope waiting in our futures.

  Leaning closer, her mouth captured mine as her hands settled around my neck like she wasn’t going to let me leave.

  My mind switched streams then. Going from wanting to say and do anything to make her know I wasn’t going to hurt her, to just wanting her. Here. Now.

  Always.

  The shower rushed down on us as our kisses became more insistent, our bodies joining in.

  Nina’s mouth broke away from mine, dropping outside of my ear. Her breaths were rushed, fogging against my ear. “I need you.”

  Her words had a direct line to my own need, firing it to life in a way that felt as though it could rip me in half if I didn’t satisfy it. My arms wound around her as I lifted us from the shower floor. Nina’s legs wound around me, her arms doing the same as her mouth found mine once more.

  Backing her into the wall, I rocked my hips into her, desperate to be inside her before that fire consumed me.

  It took a moment for me to be reminded that I was still fully clothed. In my favorite suit. In my favorite shoes. Totally drenched inside the shower with Nina’s wet, naked body wrapped around me.

  Well, fuck.

  I didn’t give a shit about ruining the shoes or the suit; all I cared about was her. Giving her whatever she needed, my body being her present request.

  Lowering one arm below her ass to get a good hold on her, my other hand lowered to my zipper. Normally I would have taken the time to undress because Nina’s body against mine while I moved inside her was the closest thing to heaven a man like me would ever experience. But right now, a minute was too long to wait. My need was as insistent as hers. Our desires collided in a way that made it difficult to remain standing.

  Making quick work of freeing myself, I positioned myself outside her. When I felt how wet she was, how her hips drove down as soon as she felt me close, a gravelly moan rolled up my throat.

  Right before I drove her body down over me, I paused, just long enough to let some rational thought wind its way back into my consciousness. “I don’t want to hurt you. After last night . . .” My forehead dropped into the wall beside hers when she managed to wiggle down on me a little more. “I can take care of you a different way, Liebling. I can give you what you need without hurting you.”

  My hand dug in her backside as she continued to fight me, taking more of me into her body. The muscles of my back were quivering from holding back.

  Her head tipped toward me, her mouth winding up outside my ear. “You won’t hurt me, Max.”

  Her words weakened me just long enough for her to lower her body down the rest of mine, until I was buried so deep inside her, Nina’s lap was pressed into my open zipper. She didn’t move after that, just kept her body settled on mine, arching her back against the wall as she seemed to struggle to regulate her breathing.

  I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was balls-deep inside Nina while still fully dressed, inside her shower, minutes after being convinced I’d lost her for good.

  “Please, Max.” Her body tightened around me. “Please.”

  When her hips circled my lap, making me see my own kind of stars, my body fired to life, primed and ready to give her what she wanted. Reaching around to mold my hands around her backside, I rocked out of her until I broke our connection. Her face creased as her chest rose and fell hard between us, her back so arched away from the wall that her tits were pointing at the ceiling.

  Rocking closer, as soon as I felt her we
t opening, I pitched hard and deep inside her.

  Nina’s cries reverberated around the small room, awakening the animal buried inside me. It took every shred of my willpower to keep from rutting into her like the savage animal begged to. It took everything inside me to keep from coming inside her right then because I could have. My body was that lost in hers. From the way I felt her pulsing around me, I knew hers was the same.

  But not yet. I could never forget how close I’d been to losing her. How close I’d come to driving her away.

  “Eyes on me,” I ordered when her eyes stayed closed. “Eyes”—I breathed as I started to pull out of her—“on me.”

  When her eyes opened, they looked as wild as I imagined mine did. Her own animal had risen from its slumber and was only focused on one thing. Her hips bucked against me as I continued to withdraw. “Please, Max.”

  “I’m not going to leave you.” My hand moved to her throat, gently winding around it as I looked in her eyes. “I’m not your parents. I’m not them, and I’m not going to leave you.” I leaned closer, licking the water from her lips. “Say it,” I whispered against her mouth before my tongue pressed inside.

  She moaned when our tongues tangled, her hips pumping against mine. When her moans sounded agonized, I gave her what she wanted. I drove into her, her back slapping against the wet shower wall.

  “Say it.”

  “You’re not going to leave me.” When my hand tightened just enough around her throat, she opened her eyes. “You’re not going to leave me.” She stared right into my eyes.

  My dick throbbed inside her, from the way her words and body made me feel. “Now I want you to tell me the same thing.”

  Her chest was moving so hard, with every breath, her breasts spilled around my arm winding up to her neck. With every exhale, they dropped. The feel of her like this was enough to make my balls draw up inside my stomach.

  “I’m not going to leave you.” Her whisper evolved into a moan when my shaft disappeared inside her. “Never.” This time, I didn’t have to give her a throat a squeeze before she remembered. Her eyes opened into mine. “Say it.”

  My pace picked up. “You’re never going to leave me, Nina Burton.” My forehead fell into the wall beside her head as I continued to thrust into her. “Because I’m never, ever going to let you.”

  She made little moaning noises as I moved faster.

  “You’re going to come for me right now, Liebling. Right now.” Her tits were bouncing from my rushed pace, her hips slapping against the shower wall as I ground into her. “Because I can’t wait another second to come inside of you, and I want to feel you going off when I do.”

  “God, Max,” she breathed, keeping her eyes on me the whole time as I rocked her against the wall. “Why are you so bossy when we fuck?”

  My mouth dropped to her chest, her bouncing tits teasing me for long enough. I sucked her hard, lashing her firm nipple with my tongue before releasing her with a loud pop. Her back arched like she was inviting me to continue. “Because I’m the one who knows what he wants.”

  “I know what I want. You.” When my mouth did the same with her other tit, punishing this one even harder, Nina cried, “I want you.”

  “You have me.” My hand curled deeper into her backside as I tipped her higher to give myself better access. “Now give it to me, Nina. I want all of you, but right now, I want your orgasm. Give it to me.” Looking down at our combined bodies as I rocked in and out of her, I felt my own orgasm driving up through me. “Give it to me, Liebling. Get me off.”

  Seating myself as deep inside her as I could, I rocked into her in quick, shallow thrusts until I felt her orgasm cresting. Her head rolled back against the wall, but her eyes never left mine as screams spilled past her lips when her release found her. At the first clench of her orgasm, I lost myself. It was the most powerful thing I’d ever felt, and my release seemed to have no end as I continued fucking her against the wet tile wall, in my wet suit, with my hands on her ass and throat.

  Nina’s body was still spasming around mine when I finally collapsed into the wall, my lungs feeling like they were about to burst.

  I let the shower rain down on us while I kept my hold on her. I wanted to be there to catch her when she fell. I wanted to be wrapped around her if the fear and confusion made its return. I wanted to be there to chase it away and remind her just how much I wanted her.

  “I’ll never leave you,” I whispered in her ear, winding my arms around her back.

  She draped her body over mine, her arms finding their way around my neck. “I know, Max. I know.”

  We stayed like that for a while, letting the warm shower soothe us, letting our bodies stay connected.

  “Are you okay?” I asked as she started to unwind her legs from around me. They were trembling from what we’d just done, and I kept my arms braced around her to make sure she didn’t fall.

  Nina locked eyes with me. “I’m okay.” A smile started to form. “Nothing like a good fuck to pound some sense back into a girl.”

  When I felt confident she could stand on her own, I lifted my hand to her face. “I’m not leaving you. I mean that.”

  “I know. I knew that last night too.” She kissed my thumb when it brushed across her lips. “It was just a lot to deal with all at once. I let the demons get the better of me. The fear. My past. I trust you, Max. I trust this.” She lifted our combined hands, giving mine a squeeze. “But one day at a time, okay? Don’t rush this. Don’t rush us. I’m already marrying you. I just gave you my virginity. Please don’t push anything else yet. Let’s get used to what this is like before moving on to anything else.”

  Holding her stare, I knew what she was alluding to. The exchanging of three words. She’d made me promise not to fall in love with her weeks ago, since she seemed to view love and commitment between a man and a woman as the kiss of death. Given her background, I could understand why. Given what I had in mind for our future, I had to change her mind on the subject. Eventually.

  I didn’t want to rush her. I didn’t want to push her away. I didn’t want to lose her. But more than that, I always wanted to do right by Nina Burton. Her first, me second. Forever and for always.

  “Okay. One day at a time.” Kissing her forehead, I started to open the shower curtain. I had to take care of something. Now. “I’ve got to do something really quick. Will you be okay if I step out?”

  Nina lifted a brow. “Well, I did start this all out wanting to take a shower, so yeah, I think I’ll be okay.” She reached for a bottle of shampoo and squirted some into her hand.

  As I watched her start to wash her hair, I got the urge to just grab a chair and watch her. I was already hard from watching her wet body as she washed her hair, the signs of our love-making rolling down her legs. Giving my head a shake, I stepped out of the shower and closed the curtain before the animal took over again, and she wound up on the shower floor on her knees and palms.

  “Max?” she called as I moved for the door. “You might want to change before you take care of whatever it is you have in mind.”

  My mouth twitched. Nina’s voice was back to normal—the hint of humor with the undercurrent of busting my balls. She was back. She was good. Whatever dark place she’d woken up in this morning, we’d managed to bring her back into the light by working out our issues in the shower.

  “Okay,” I replied before closing the door, but I had no intentions of changing first. I needed to get this done. It couldn’t wait another minute.

  With every step I took down the hall, I left a trail of water drops behind me. My suit clung to my body, water running down my face from my hair, and I made squishing sounds as I moved toward the front door. My briefcase was on the antique table against the entryway wall, and I paused there long enough to pull out what I needed. Then I threw open the front door and stormed out onto the porch.

  Dad was still stationed at the grill, lazily tending to the bratwurst, a fresh bottle of beer in his hand.

&n
bsp; “Scheisse, Maximilian!” He gaped at me dripping wet and steaming up the cool night air.

  “How much?” I approached him, opening my checkbook and cocking a brow. “How much will it take for you to leave?”

  His eyes dropped to my checkbook. He wet his lips. “This isn’t about money.”

  Clicking the end of the pen, I dropped it to the amount box. “Of course it is. I know that. You know that. Now, let’s settle this like businessmen.” I moved closer until we were almost butting chests. “How much?”

  “Your mother and I are just looking out for you, Max.” He set his beer on the porch rail. “Nina’s a sweet girl, but what’s a woman like that see when she looks at a man like you?”

  The blood heating in my veins chased away the chill of the fall air. “It sure as shit isn’t the same dollar signs you see when you look at me.”

  He lifted his hands. I’d never realized until now that I was taller than my dad. He’d always seemed so big, so imposing, but now, eye-to-eye, I’d crept above him. I stood above where he did.

  “Max . . .”

  My nostrils flared. “How. Much?”

  Dad’s gaze lingered at the spot where my pen was pressed into the check. “There’s this new business venture I’ve been presented. It’s a strong one. One that could really turn things around for me.” He paused and, for a moment, I wondered if that was shame in his eyes. It passed so quickly, I’d never know. “I’d buy in on my own but—”

  “You wasted millions of dollars on a different business venture?”

  He exhaled. “I never meant to . . . if I could redo it all, I would.”

  My patience was wearing thin, and all I was concerned about right then was Nina. No matter my parents’ intentions, I would not let them wedge themselves between her and me. I couldn’t let them hurt her. I’d made her a promise that I never would, and that meant I wouldn’t let those close to me hurt her either. “And yet you can’t, so what the hell do you want?”

  Dad backed up a couple of steps. “There’s a lot of zeros after that one I have in mind.”

  The water dropping off of me was puddling around my feet, and I wanted to get back to Nina. I wrote the one, waiting for the number to fill in the zeroes. “And yet it will be worth every one to have you out of this house and out of our lives.”