Breathless

by HELEN HARDT

  Breathless

  Steel Brothers Saga: Book Ten

  HELEN HARDT

  This book is an original publication of Waterhouse Press.

  * * *

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not assume any responsibility for third-party websites or their content.

  * * *

  Copyright © 2019 Waterhouse Press, LLC

  Cover Design by Waterhouse Press, LLC

  Cover Photographs: Shutterstock

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  All Rights Reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic format without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty–One

  Chapter Twenty–Two

  Chapter Twenty–Three

  Chapter Twenty–Four

  Chapter Twenty–Five

  Chapter Twenty–Six

  Chapter Twenty–Seven

  Chapter Twenty–Eight

  Chapter Twenty–Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty–One

  Chapter Thirty–Two

  Chapter Thirty–Three

  Chapter Thirty–Four

  Chapter Thirty–Five

  Chapter Thirty–Six

  Chapter Thirty–Seven

  Chapter Thirty–Eight

  Chapter Thirty–Nine

  Chapter Forty

  Chapter Forty–One

  Chapter Forty–Two

  Chapter Forty–Three

  Chapter Forty–Four

  Chapter Forty–Five

  Chapter Forty–Six

  Chapter Forty–Seven

  Chapter Forty–Eight

  Chapter Forty–Nine

  Chapter Fifty

  Chapter Fifty–One

  Epilogue

  Also Available from Helen Hardt

  Excerpt from Misadventures with a Rock Star

  Message from Helen Hardt

  Also By Helen Hardt

  Acknowledgments

  About Helen Hardt

  This book about the Steels’ little sister is dedicated to my own little sister, Louise Betcher Staab.

  Sissy and Flaxie forever!

  And the Betcher girls are not high maintenance!

  Prologue

  I am the person standing at the magazine rack in the convenience store, nose in Sports Illustrated…one eye on you.

  I am the person at the gym with a towel around my neck, never making eye contact with anyone, my legs pumping the pedals of a stationary cycle…one eye on you.

  I am the person walking along the street who stops at the antique shop to peer in the window at the collection of baseball cards. Through the reflection of the glass, I have one eye on you.

  I am here.

  And I am watching.

  Chapter One

  Marjorie

  I’m happy to be doing this. She’s my best friend.

  I repeated the mantra to myself as I tore romaine lettuce for a Caesar salad. Again as I mashed potatoes, adding cheddar, sour cream, and crumbled bacon. Again as I carefully spooned the mixture back into the potato skins and placed them in the oven. And once again as I salted and peppered the round steak, preparing it for the skillet.

  I loved to cook. As much as I’d tried to fit in around the ranch that was a quarter mine, I’d finally admitted it. My brothers had control. Joe loved tending to the cattle. Talon was king of the orchard. Ryan made the vineyards sing while creating perfection in a wine bottle.

  I wasn’t needed on the ranch. I’d have taken off to Paris to study but for my best friend in the world, Jade Roberts Steel, my new sister-in-law. According to my other new sister-in-law, Dr. Melanie Carmichael Steel, Jade was experiencing hyperemesis gravidarum, a fancy name for really bad morning sickness—the kind that incapacitates a pregnant woman.

  Not fun.

  Add to the ingredients that Jade and Talon had just adopted two troubled little boys, ages ten and seven, and that their housekeeper, Felicia, had gone on an extended leave to help her ailing mother. Mix well, and what do you get?

  Auntie Marj to the rescue.

  I was happy to help. Truly, I was.

  Jade was the best friend a woman could ask for and had been there for me more times than I could count. And Talon was my brother—my brother who had been to hell and back, largely because of me.

  It’s not your fault, Sis. No one blames you.

  Words all three of my brothers had drummed into my head.

  They were right. I knew that. I couldn’t help being conceived. Being born. It hadn’t been my choice.

  Still, the fact remained.

  But for my conception and birth, Talon wouldn’t have been taken. Wouldn’t have been beaten, tortured, and worse as a ten-year-old child.

  I bit my lower lip and opened the door to the refrigerator. The cool air always helped, for some reason. When I found myself strolling down this ugly path, a chill on my skin reminded me not to go there.

  Melanie had initially suggested a rubber band around my wrist. I was supposed to pull on it and sting myself when I had these unwanted thoughts. Problem was, the thoughts had been so overwhelming that I’d ended up with a swollen and bloody wrist that was still a little tender to the touch.

  Since I spent so much time in the kitchen, Melanie then suggested a whiff of cold air. It helped.

  A little.

  At least it didn’t lead to self-mutilation.

  I laughed aloud.

  Self-mutilation.

  Mel—I was the only one who called her Mel—knew my horrible secret. She’d apologized profusely about the rubber band idea once I’d told her. I’d sworn her to secrecy, and as a therapist, I knew she’d never give me up.

  Even Jade didn’t know…and I told Jade everything.

  Almost.

  Anyway, Mel had offered free therapy, guided hypnosis, anything in her arsenal to help me deal with everything my family had been through, but I wasn’t ready.

  Not yet.

  Not while Jade needed me to be strong while she was struggling.

  I couldn’t crumble. Jade had always been there for me, and I’d be there for her now.

  “Hey, Auntie Marj.”

  Donny, one of my new nephews, scurried into the kitchen. He was a beautiful little thing with blond hair and green eyes, so different from all of us Steels. We were all dark-haired and dark-eyed. Of course, he was now a Steel. Or he would be, as soon as the adoption was finalized, which was supposed to happen within a month. Donny was more talkative than his older brother, Dale. Poor Dale had taken the brunt of the abuse to spare his little brother, and he had a lot to work through. They both did.

  But Donny could always put a smile on my face. Despite being imprisoned and horridly abused for several months, he was a
happy kid. At least he seemed so to me.

  “Hi, sweetie.”

  “I’m hungry.”

  “Supper will be ready in a half hour.”

  “Where’s my dad?”

  “He’s on his way.”

  “And Miss Jade?”

  Donny had taken to calling Talon Dad easily. He’d grown up without a father. Calling Jade Mom was coming more slowly. Dale and Donny’s biological mother, Cheri Robertson, had committed suicide after her boys were taken, though the boys didn’t know that yet. Talon and Jade had told them she’d died in a car accident.

  “She’s in bed.”

  “Throwing up again?”

  “I’m afraid so.”

  “That baby in her belly is making her awful sick.”

  “Yes.”

  “Maybe we should get the baby out.”

  “No, we can’t do that.”

  “But if it’s making her sick…”

  I sat down at the kitchen table and pulled Donny onto my lap, placing a kiss on his sweet-smelling head. “She and your dad want the baby very much. So even if it makes her sick, she’s going to stick it out until it’s time for the baby to be born so you and Dale will have a little sister or brother.”

  “I hope it’s a boy,” Donny said, smiling. “What do you want it to be, Auntie Marj?”

  “It doesn’t matter. As long as it’s healthy.”

  “I suppose.” Donny hopped off my lap. “Can I have a drink of water?”

  “Sure thing.” I rose and got him a cup out of the cupboard.

  He filled it at the refrigerator. “I’m going to go play with the doggies.” He trotted out through the sliding glass doors onto the deck, where Roger, Bo, and Beauty were napping.

  Not for long. Donny would have those dogs up and running and fetching in no time. The kid was full of energy.

  I sighed. Being here was good for me. With all the commotion, I barely had time to think those horrible thoughts.

  Except that now I was thinking them again.

  I walked over to the refrigerator, but before I opened it, a knock sounded on the front door.

  I quickly wiped my hands on a dish towel, walked through the kitchen and foyer to the door, and peered through the peephole.

  My heart jumped.

  Bryce Simpson.

  Bryce was my brother Joe’s best friend. I’d known him ever since I could remember. Both he and Joe were thirteen years my senior, and I’d never thought of him as anything but Joe’s buddy…until he and I had almost shared a kiss after I’d babysat his young son, Henry, one time.

  I’d followed him to check on the sleeping baby, and we’d smiled down at his angelic face. Then we’d turned to one another. My heart had stampeded as he leaned toward me, his gaze meeting mine and making me melt. I lifted my face to meet his lips.

  We got closer…

  Closer…

  Had I stopped it? Or had he? I couldn’t quite recall. At any rate, a million things had happened since then, and I hadn’t seen him or Henry since Ryan and Ruby’s wedding a couple of months ago.

  I knew one thing, though. Bryce Simpson was no longer just Joe’s best friend. Now he was the tall and muscular man with sandy-blond hair and blue eyes that made my heart beat a little faster.

  Many times, I’d imagined the kiss that hadn’t happened.

  Many times, I’d wished it had.

  My skin prickled.

  I wanted to see Bryce.

  I wanted to see him badly.

  I opened the door.

  Chapter Two

  Bryce

  “Hi, Bryce.”

  Marjorie Steel.

  Damn.

  I remembered when she was born. I remembered a pink-faced baby, a cute toddler, a gawky preteen.

  I remembered a hot eighteen-year-old going off to college.

  I remembered telling myself she was no longer jailbait.

  Then I remembered thinking my best friend would pummel me for even having that thought.

  That particular thought was tame compared to what I was thinking now.

  She was five feet ten, model gorgeous, and those deep brown eyes could melt me with just a look.

  Plus, she was great with my son. What a plus.

  Damn again.

  I wanted her.

  But I was a fucking mess. I couldn’t even take care of my own son. He was with my mom, and though I was living with them, I’d hardly been hands-on lately. Thank God for my mom. And thank God for Henry. Henry had saved my mom after she’d found out the truth about my father.

  Henry had given her a reason to stay sane.

  He’d given me a reason as well, but with Mom taking care of him—needing to take care of him—I’d been free to wallow in the mess that had become my life.

  Marjorie widened those gorgeous baby browns. “Bryce?”

  Oh, yeah. I hadn’t said anything yet. I cleared my throat. “Is Tal around?”

  “He should be here any minute. You want to come in?”

  “Yeah. Sure.” I stepped into the foyer. “I went to Joe’s first. No one answered.”

  “He and Melanie went into town for dinner.”

  “Oh.” I cleared my throat again.

  “We’re going to eat soon. I’m making pepper steak and twice-baked potatoes. There’s plenty. Would you like to stay?”

  As if on cue, my stomach let out a roar.

  Marjorie smiled. “Is that a yes?”

  “I can’t. I just need to talk to Talon. It’s important.”

  “Tal’s been working all day. I can guarantee you he won’t be in any mood for talking until his belly is full. Come on.” She walked toward the kitchen of the large ranch house.

  I had no choice but to follow. My appetite hadn’t been great lately, but I couldn’t deny my hunger as I inhaled the rich beefy scent.

  The kitchen table was already set, a clear vase filled with yellow flowers resting in its center. She removed the vase and set it on a nearby counter.

  “These get in the way when we eat, but I love to have them around me while I’m working in the kitchen.”

  “What are they?”

  “Lilies. Asiatic lilies. The light yellow are my favorites, and Jenna rarely has them.”

  “Jenna?”

  “The florist in town.” She busied herself adding another place setting. “I make a ton of food these days. Even though Jade hardly eats a thing, Talon and those two growing boys eat like maniacs.”

  “How’s Jade doing?”

  “Sick as a dog, the poor thing. She’s resting now, but she’s a trouper. She spends time with the boys every day, and I make sure she eats enough to keep going. Doctor’s orders.”

  “I don’t get it. Melanie wasn’t sick at all.”

  “Pregnancy is different for every woman, apparently. Mel got lucky. By the way, did you hear the good news?”

  “What news?”

  “Melanie got her amnio results back. Everything is normal, and they’re having a boy.”

  I smiled. The amniocentesis had been on Joe’s mind. Melanie was forty years old, an age where things could go wrong with pregnancy. “Why didn’t Joe tell me?”

  “They just found out this afternoon. That’s why they went into town for a celebratory dinner.”

  “That’s great news. Really.”

  “I know. I’m so happy for them. I just wish Jade felt better.”

  “Yeah. Makes me happy to know I’ll never have to go through it.”

  She scoffed. “You men don’t know how lucky you are.”

  I nearly scoffed back at her, but I held it in. I didn’t feel particularly lucky these days. Discovering that my father was a pedophilic psychopathic rapist had that effect on a guy.

  “Where’s Henry?” Marjorie asked.

  “He’s home with Mom.”

  “You should bring him by. I miss him.”

  “With this brood keeping you busy?” I forced a laugh. “How could you?”

  “Because he’s adorab
le and I love him,” she said, her tone serious.

  “I’ve been letting him stay with Mom mostly,” I said. “It’s good for her. He’s keeping her from thinking about…other things.”

  “Oh. Yeah. I guess I get it.”

  “How’s your mom?”

  She sighed. “The same.”

  Daphne Steel lived in a mental institution in Grand Junction. Marjorie and her brothers had recently relocated her from California, once all the threats to her had been removed. Long story. She lived in an imaginary world where Marjorie was named Angela and she was still a baby.

  I wasn’t sure what to say. Daphne’s prognosis wasn’t good. I finally settled on, “Smells great in here.”

  “It’ll be ready soon. I’m going to make a small plate for Jade and then stand over her while she eats it. Make yourself at home. Tal should be here in a few.” She quickly filled a plate.

  I tried not to, but I ogled Marj’s perfect ass as she left the kitchen. I couldn’t help myself.

  Now what?

  I stood and walked to the sliding glass doors leading out to the redwood deck. The younger boy, Donny, ran around in the yard, being chased by two golden retriever pups and Talon’s loveable mutt, Roger. He was doing well, all things considered. Bouncing back was apparently easier at seven than at thirty-eight.