FIXATION

by J. K. Marquez

  "But is the truth!" I shouted

  "What exactly is it that you want me to do for you Ross?" She said clearly annoyed and angry with me.

  "What should I do? Do I live with this and not tell Eden anything or do I tell her everything and watch her walk away forever. I can't have that"

  "Then why are you asking me? You seem to have it all figured out and we both know you are not going to tell her anything".

  " your right I don't know why I called you here. You can get the fuck out"

  "Excuse me! You are upset because you expect me to tell you is okay what you did? I can't do that. I like Eden she is a good person. If she wasn't I would say whatever! But I can't."

  "I didn't cheat though! And you are acting as I did!"

  "Giving someone oral sex is not cheating to you!? Kissing someone else on the lips that's not your fiance isn't cheating to you? Then I really want to know what Ross Lyner considers cheating then?"

  She looked at me with a dead-serious look. I couldn't get out of this one. Truth be told I wasn't an idiot. I had cheated. As much as I wanted to deny it. Yes, I didn't physically have sex but oral sex is considered sex after all, and Eden will never ever forgive me. I had no doubt.

  "You are one to talk Olivianna you are sleeping with a married man" I had to throw that one out there. She was judging me and she was no one to judge.

  She stayed silent for a moment and then.

  "I would slap the shit out of you again but I don't want you to have to explain to Eden where you got a full hand red mark on your face. Ross if you throw that at me again I might not hold back! You damn well know your mom and dad are not together! They remain married but they are not living together as in sleeping together or anything else like that. Your dad is pretty much a free man. Besides your mom doesn't love him. She's just worried about a scandal. Eden loves you and I thought you loved her back!"

  "I fucking do love her!" I yelled feeling tears running down my eyes. I never cried for anyone in my entire life. Not even when both my childhood dogs both got hit at the same time by a drunk truck driver and we had to put them down. I loved them so much.

  But this was totally on a different scale. That was something I couldn't control. This, on the other hand, I had options and I chose the worst one of them all. I chose to be unfaithful to the woman I love. I couldn't live with that. I don't know when I will be ready to see Eden again, and that hurts all the more.

  Chapter 27

  Ross POV

  It's been 3 stinking weeks. Luckily Eden believed that I was still in L.A and surprisingly Olivianna hadn't told her anything. I was relieved. I hated myself so much for what I did. I don't think I can keep up the lies anymore. Living without her would kill me though but these lies were killing me more. I couldn't do it anymore.

  The lies the deceit. I had done them before all too many times I'm afraid but never to her. I was always honest with her.

  I know I did a horrible thing but I am human after all not a saint. Courtney meant so much to me. Honestly, the reason why I got so obsessed with Eden was partly due to Court as I called her.

  When we got older I developed a sense of protectiveness with Court. I knew she had issues since a very young age. So I wanted to help her. I had issues too but she was a young girl and in my opinion, girls deal with issues a totally different way.

  I didn't want her hurt, raped, abused or killed by someone. She was around 12 around Eden's age when I first met Eden. Court was 12 when she started experimenting with heavy drugs. Our parents were part of the same drug pin but she didn't get it from them. She got it from other street people dangerous people.

  I took it upon myself to defend her and be there for her and in the process I fell in love with her. She stopped taking drugs and was sober for about a year but then a fight with her mom got her back on them.

  She had friends in L.A. and moved there. I thought she would be safer far, far away from here and the bad people she knew here.

  I knew she was in L.A but never did it cross my mind that I would run in to her or worse yet. That she was now a drug pin lord of her own in L.A. she was the one who summoned my business there. She had so many people working for her in this business and became rich all on her own.

  I guess I was in shock to see her. From the poor defenseless helpless girl, she was when she left Australia to the smart, businesswoman she was now..because even though what we did wasn't at all good. It was still business.

  I told her I was engaged but that got her even more excited. She is engaged too. I met her fiance actually so I wasn't the only cheater. But Court didn't care at all. I did.

  I had to block her number. She blew my phone up with all these messages and naked pictures of herself that I didn't care to see. Begging to have me back. Yo move to L.A with her and work on this business together as a team. But my heart belonged to another.

  While Court was night. Eden was day. I had my fair share of night too much and I realized that the light is what makes me happy. Living in darkness is not for me anymore.

  Too much drama, too much baggage, too many headaches. I didn't need nor want any of it. I loved Eden and all she represented. Some men fall in love with women and don't even really know why. They are more attracted to their appearances and I was the same way. I slept with almost all of Queensland and international bitches too but it always made me feel empty.

  When Courtney left I was sad but I had Eden to occupy my thoughts on. Another damsel in distress except this one didn't have any baggage or problems. Well, besides her crazy mind. I would've helped Court to the end. But it was her decision to leave and once she was gone. I couldn't look back. I had to look forward.

  I focused on Eden and I grew more and more in love with her. Her sweetness and kindness and always worried about others are annoying at times but it also says that she is a caring person and that she will care for me always and that is what I need.

  But now I might lose her forever and just the thought of it made me cry again!. Fuck!

  I had to tell her though. I prayed that she would forgive me. That she would understand the situation and put herself in a sinners position for once. She seemed perfect but nobody was perfect.

  Rock showed up just in time. I couldn't drive back home. My feet couldn't touch the ground. I was shaking inside.

  "You okay boss?" Rock asked.

  "No," I said

  "How is my fiance how is Eden?" I asked him.

  He gave me a look as if he already knew what was going on. But he didn't ask further questions.

  "She's okay I guess. Missing you, asking me every day when you are coming home."

  I felt even worse.

  "I have to confess. I can't hold back anymore. I love her too much to lie to her"

  Rock stayed silent. He didn't ask any questions but I am sure he knew what I was talking about. He changed the conversation to something that took my mind off of this for a bit.

  "Rumor has it that Stoner has been seen in town. Asking questions and recruiting more people"

  "He doesn't stand a chance my shit is better than his anyway"

  I said confidently.

  "Did we secure the L.A contract are we selling internationally?" Rock asked.

  I took a deep breath.

  "Yeah its been secured but I'm only selling to pharmaceutical companies. No risky shit anymore."

  "What are you serious?" He asked surprised.

  "Yeah. I met up with some pharmaceutical companies while I was there and decided that's the best route to take. I'm not taking the other route"

  "What other route?" Rock asked.

  "The Courtney route," I said.

  "Not sure I follow sorry"

  My head was in the clouds. I couldn't think straight.

  "Courtney Wheaton route," I said.

  "What?! Your ex-girlfriend? She's in L.A?"

  "Rock doesn't play stupid with me you knew I sent her to L.A. to get away from here before she ended up killed or in prison"

/>   "Yeah, but given the way she was, I didn't expect her to still be there let alone that you would run into her. L.A is such a big place."

  "Yeah, but she was the one who initiated my business over there. She's different now. In charge of her own thing"

  "Oh, now I understand," rock said.

  "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

  "Nothing Ross, nothing you...nothing," he said.

  We stayed silent all the way home.

  "Is Eden here? Olivianna said she didn't go to work today" I asked.

  "Yeah she took the day off today to do some stuff with Carol and her niece"

  "Carol's niece is here?" Great! Another girl that I did stuff with. But she knew it wasn't serious. But Eden didn't know. This was before she and I got together anyways.

  "Here we are, good luck boss" rock said patting me in the shoulder.

  He knew what I was about to do and he knew what I did in L.A. but he didn't know the details. Only Olive did. But by the looks of it, she hadn't said anything to anyone.

  I took the courage to walk up the stairs and enter my house. It smelled so good. Gardenia flowers. Eden's favorite flowers. God, I missed her so much.

  She was in the living room her back was turned. Her gorgeous chestnut hair hung down her back it looked a bit longer. She was wearing tight skinny blue jeans with a long red t-shirt. That covered her butt and sneakers. She was dressed very casually.

  She was showing some art painting to Carol and her blonde petit niece. When carol and her niece saw me they both stood up. I put a finger on my mouth as if too tell them to sshh to not say anything. They got the clue. I stood behind her putting my hands covering her eyes. My erection was hard on her back. I felt her smile.

  She turned around smiling and laughing.

  "Ross!!! You are here" she said. Climbing on top of me with both legs wrapped around my waist. She never did this before.

  "When did you get here? Why didn't you tell me? I would've picked you up from the airport" she kissed me and I kissed her back hard. I missed her. She was the one I loved. No one else!

  I thought twice now about telling her the truth. I didn't want to lose this!.

  "Can we talk?" I asked.

  "Sure," she said giving me another kiss

  "Wait let me tell Carol ill be back"

  "No, you won't." I smiled.

  She got the hint.

  "How long will we take?" She asked.

  "All day and night," I said looking at her dark eyes.

  "Okay then let me excuse myself," she said turning and walking towards Carol.

  "Go on go and don't feel bad about it," Carol said in her old voice. She had the day off today so we had the house to ourselves.

  "Susie and I are going to Miller's anyway. We are having a couple of beers and wings" Carol said giggling.

  "You go on and enjoy your man. Nice to see you back boss" Carol shouted at me.

  "Oh thanks, Carol enjoy your day off," I said.

  "I plan on it lets go Susie" carol grabbed her niece by the hand jerking her away. She didn't keep her eyes off me and was giving me flirty seductive looks. I just ignored her. There was no other woman I wanted more than my Eden.

  "Let's go my love. I plan on making my time away from you seemed like I never was away, to begin with"

  "Ooh, should I be worried I mean it has been a while" she smiled.

  "I plan to make it up to you every single night and day don't you feel me?" I grabbed her hand putting it on my erection. She smiled.

  "Is all for you," I said giving her a kiss and caring her all the way up to our bedroom.

  I plan on making the most of our time together because who knows it might be our last and I felt like dying then and there.

  Chapter 28

  Ross POV

  I placed her in the bed nice and slow. I climbed on top of her while she laid beneath me. Just looking at her. I felt so bad! Why did I do that! If I could beat myself up for it I would. But even if I did it wouldn't erase what I did.

  "Is something wrong?" She asked

  She was smart.

  "No love I'm just glad to be here with you," I told her meaning every single word.

  I kissed her and she kissed me back with the same urgency.

  "I love you, Eden, only you," I told her whispering the same thing in her ear. Hopefully, whatever happens, she can always remember those words.

  I got up from her and held pulled her with me.

  "I want to hold you forever and be with you for all eternity"

  "Ross I love you too..."

  "Shhh don't talk please," I told her kissing her richly and passionately.

  "I want to make this moment last forever," I told her.

  I placed her back down on the bed and took off my shirt and my pants followed by my underwear I was completely naked. She wasn't yet.

  "I feel something is different" she said.

  "Open your legs" I told her. She listened.

  I kissed her there in her most soft spot. She was wet. Extremely so. I kissed and sucked and make love to her with my mouth in all directions and ways I could think of. The Courtney thing only lasted a few minutes if that. This with Eden will last all night if I had it my way.

  She moaned and screamed in pleasure and she threw her head back welcoming my tongue into her delicate wet insides. Her panties were still on and I took them off immediately. I never lost sight of what was important. Her pleasure.

  She came in my mouth so fast.

  "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry I couldn't hold it back" she said trying to get up but I held her down. Doing it over and over again until she came again and again.

  I then got up to kiss and suck on her nipples and her lips. I sucked on them until they were red with lust. I kissed her neck I kissed her everywhere.

  When she was finally exhausted from all her orgasms that's when I got on top of her and rode her like there is no tomorrow. She screamed and moaned as I had never heard her before.

  "How many more are you trying to give me?" She asked with a faint voice.

  "I'm enjoying your love," I told her.

  Her thighs moved to my movement up and down and sideways and all ways she tried to mimic my movements. She was doing great.

  I then turned her around while still being inside her and had her ride me and man was she good. She rode me like she missed me.

  "I couldn't wait to see you and do this with you," she said blushing.

  "I want to do this with you forever. Promise you will never leave me no matter what Eden, you promise!"

  "I will never leave you," she said with a fainting voice. She was exhausted.

  "No matter what!" I said.

  "No matter what" she followed.

  "You promise," I said.

  "I...i can't promise that," she said and she fell on me.

  "I don't think I can cum anymore," she said breathing heavily.

  "I'm not done so get back up there," I told her.

  "I want to hold you like this forever. I want to sleep like this while being inside you still"

  "That's impossible. I need to stretch my legs and move around" she said smiling.

  "You move with me. I will hold you like this for a while. I'm not ready to not be inside you" I told her.

  She smiled. With her sleepy eyes closed.

  "I love you, " I told her again to remind her again.

  I pulled her sleepy body up and turned her around while still being inside her. I took her again and again and again missionary style until I couldn't hold it anymore. My cum was all over her. All over me. She fell asleep the second I came. I couldn't get off of her just yet. I held her. Hugged her. Kissed her. Why did I feel like this would be the end?

  She didn't make the promise. She said 'she can't promise that' not even in our most intimate moments did she say a lie.

  She would leave me if I confessed the truth about Courtney. And then and there I knew it wasn't worth the risk. I didn't want to lose this or her. This spec
ial moment between us. I wanted this moment to last forever.

  Courtney was in L.A. so there was no chance of Eden ever running into her or her finding out anything about her so why tell her? Yes, I wanted too but it wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth the risk. I would lose more than I would gain.

  It was so peaceful laying here next to her. Watching her breathe. Her eyes closed. Her long black eyelashes. Her tangled hair everywhere. Her chest rising and falling as she breathes. This was my home. My family. Soon I will marry her and we will have little kids running around everywhere. I wasn't going to risk this. Not now not ever.

  I gave her soft little kisses and collapsed myself from exhaustion. I never have slept better having her here next to me like this. I wasn't going to give this up.

  The next morning

  "Babe, I think it is time we set a date for our wedding and the sooner the better," I said as she got out of the shower wet. With a towel on her hair.

  "I agree I'm still waiting on when my parents and siblings are free"

  "What?! I'll make them be free asap," I said smiling but I meant it.

  She got dressed so fast and pulled her wet hair in a ponytail.

  "Love you, see you later," she said as she grabbed her red purse and headed out the door in a hurry. She was running late for work. I was hoping that she would for sure take the day off to be with me. She seemed to be very tired after the incredible night we had I can't imagine her not being tired.

  "Have you told her?" A text from Olivianna.

  "Not yet," I said.

  "If you don't then I will. Is really fucking hard lying to her. I really like Eden and she doesn't deserve that. She embraced me and makes me feel like I'm her friend no one has ever done that before and I will not let you ruin that for me" she said in a long ass text.

  Why the fuck did I tell Olivianna anything! I needed support, maybe a bit of advice but I should've known how she would react. Her and Eden had surprisingly become friends that slipped my mind. Now I was screwed.

  Olivianna didn't go back on her word. She would tell her. So now because of both my stupidity one being what I did with Court and two talking Olivianna I had two options only.

  1 either tell Eden the truth or 2 make Olivianna disappear.