Melt With You: Into The Fire Series

by J. H. Croix

  Time and again, that was what started fires. This fire had spread due to a few outbuildings being too close to the home. The owners were facing the destruction of all structures on the property. I only hoped they had good insurance. Everyone had gotten out safely, so we could worry about things, like insurance.

  Glancing at Susannah, I took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. “Well, everyone’s safe and that’s the best we can hope for in a situation like this.”

  Susannah nodded, resting a hand on her hip and tugging her helmet off. “It is. When I heard that baby crying…” Her words trailed off.

  The moment she spoke, a flash of anxiety pierced me. We had likely all experienced the same feeling when we heard the baby crying and realized the parents, along with their toddler and a months-old baby, were trapped upstairs with the fire completely engulfing the stairwell.

  Ward approached us, stopping beside Susannah. “Now that the fire’s under control, you two can head out. Some of us will stay until the fire cools down and it’s safe to leave. Why don’t you pick up Wayne from your parents on the way home?”

  Susannah straightened, her eyes flicking to me as she shook her head, and then looked back to him. “I know you don’t like it when he spends the night away from us, and I don’t either, but I think it’s better to just let him sleep. He’s probably been asleep for hours now.”

  Ward didn’t look thrilled with her reply, his eyes narrowing. He opened his mouth, about to say something, before he snapped it shut again, laughing softly. “I hate it when we’re both on duty.”

  Susannah stepped closer, sliding her arm around his waist as he leaned over and dropped a kiss on her messy hair. “I hate it too, but it doesn’t happen very often. Maybe once or twice a year both of our crews are on call for local stuff. I take it that means you’re staying?”

  Ward nodded. “Of course. You head home, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Even though Susannah’s face was streaked with soot, and she was wearing her heavy gear, the look Ward gave her was so intimate, I reflexively looked away.

  After we returned to the station, Susannah and I were in the small locker room set aside for women. I was toweling off after my shower when Susannah spoke. “Are you okay?”

  Glancing up, I met her concerned blue gaze. “Yeah, I’m…” I started to answer automatically.

  My words trailed off because I wasn’t fine. I missed Max, and I was ignoring him. Quite purposefully. Christmas was a week away, and no matter how many times I told myself it was just life, the holidays were treacherous for me. With the hand I had been dealt, I wasn’t a huge fan of them. When you didn’t have your own family to turn to, the loneliness was accentuated.

  Susannah was a friend, and I knew she was only asking because she was worried. Aside from the holidays and that old lingering pain, I didn’t know what the hell to do about Max. I hadn’t realized I’d begun to expect him to text me daily until he stopped a few days ago. I worried that the very thing I told myself would be best had actually happened. He had decided to leave me alone.

  “Actually, I’m not really fine. The holidays aren’t my favorite time of year, and this thing with Max has got me all mixed up. I always want too much from men, so I decided it was best if I tried to keep some boundaries in place. And now I just miss him.”

  I didn’t say aloud that it felt as if events kept conspiring to illuminate everything I wanted and everything I hoped for. Tonight’s fire had been nothing out of the ordinary. Homes rarely reached the point of completely burning down, but dealing with it was simply part of my job.

  The fire had been routine. I’d been the firefighter who’d gone up the ladder to help get the family out. By virtue of my smaller size, getting in and out of windows with my gear was often easier than for some of the guys. Everyone was safe, when all was said and done. What had scraped across my heart—my raw, far-too-vulnerable heart—had been witnessing the pure love I observed amongst the couple and their young children. As was usually the case, something like a fire brought everything into sharp focus for people. Boundaries went up in flames, and feelings that often bubbled under the surface were exposed.

  For this young family, the only thing visible was love and concern, the kind that ran deep as a river. The kind I wasn’t so sure I would ever be lucky enough to have. Spinning that into the lingering loss from my miscarriage and missing Max, and I was a bit of an emotional wreck.

  When I looked back to Susannah and saw the warmth and understanding in her eyes, I burst into tears. Tugging the towel around me, I sat down on the bench running in front of the lockers and buried my face in my hands. I felt Susannah sit down beside me, her arm sliding around my shoulders.

  She didn’t say anything for a few moments, allowing me the opportunity to gather myself. After a few minutes, I lifted my head and knuckled the tears away from my eyes.

  “I’m kind of a mess,” I muttered.

  Susannah gave my shoulders a squeeze and slipped her arm away as she stood and walked to a counter running along the back wall. Snagging a box of tissues, she carried it over to me, sitting down on the bench across from me as I blew my nose.

  “Okay, so it seems like Max might mean something to you. What do you want to do about it?” she asked matter-of-factly.

  With the tissue balled in my hand, I stared at her. “That’s the problem. I don’t know.”

  Susannah was quiet, her gaze considering as she regarded me. “Have you two talked about this?”

  My mind instantly flashed to all of the absolutely right things Max had said the night before he left, after which I began ignoring every overture from him. I finally nodded because I wasn’t going to lie; that wouldn’t be fair to Max. “We did. He says he wants me to give us a chance. I’m just worried that things are moving too fast and that he doesn’t really know what he wants.”

  Susannah cocked her head to the side. “Unless you’re really good at keeping things on the down low, you haven’t dated anyone since you’ve been in Willow Brook. Is there a reason for that?”

  I nodded, sniffling and knuckling at another tear rolling out of my eyes. “I don’t have the best track record with men. I’m great at finding guys who aren’t interested in anything serious, but tricking myself into thinking they might be. My last relationship was right before my miscarriage.”

  “Oh.”

  I sensed she wasn’t sure quite what to say, or that she might say the wrong thing. We had talked about this before, but it was a loaded topic. “It’s okay. I’m over that guy. He was a total dick. The hard part was the miscarriage.”

  “I’m just going to be blunt. I don’t think you would be this upset if Max wasn’t worth being upset over. If he wants you to give him a chance, then I think you should. Why not? What have you got to lose?”

  “Um, my sanity.”

  Susannah laughed. “Fair enough, but you’re already upset. Take it from me, it’s worth it if it’s the right thing. There’s only one way to find out.”

  Obviously, she hadn’t been privy to my conversations with Ivy, but she was hitting on the same point Ivy had made. In order for a relationship to have a chance, I had to give it a chance. I took a deep breath and stood from the bench to tug on my jeans. We finished getting dressed. Susannah was quiet, allowing me the time to mull things over.

  “I suppose I just need to figure out how to go about this,” I eventually said, as I closed my locker.

  She turned to face me, rubbing her towel over her damp hair once more and tossing it in the hamper in the corner. “I’m a fan of direct. It just makes it easier.”

  I laughed. “I suppose it does.”

  I was tugging on my jacket when she asked me another question. “Ward mentioned some guy applied for one of the crews for next summer. He told Ward he used to work with you. Do you happen to know him?”

  Oh, this was awkward. Speaking of direct, I figured that was my best option here. “I do. He’s the guy that I dated for a little while. I g
ot pregnant while I was on the pill. You know the rest. You might not know that he was screwing around with two other women there. I’ve been thinking I should mention to Ward what went down, but it seems weird.”

  Susannah’s eyes narrowed as she rested a hand on her hip. “Hell no. That’s not weird shit. I mean, sure, it’s personal. But it’s all about trust, which is critical for any hotshot crew. If a guy’s gonna pull bullshit like that, we don’t need him here. If you don’t want to tell Ward, I will.”

  Her response surprised me, and it must’ve shown on my face. She continued, “Seriously, that’s bullshit. Your call. Either you tell Ward, or I will.”

  “I’ll do it. Obviously, I won’t do it tonight, but I’ll find him tomorrow.”

  We walked out of the station together into the cold darkness. Pausing at the back of my truck, Susannah looked to me. “Don’t miss out.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Max

  I decided to embrace the concept of flying blind. I didn’t know what the hell was the best approach with Harlow, but I was done waiting. Owen had agreed to stay a few extra days in Anchorage, and I was driving to Willow Brook.

  The sky was bright blue, and the roads were blessedly clear. I’d have driven through a snowstorm to get to her, but I didn’t mind the weather being on my side. Not much later, I rolled into Willow Brook. I didn’t even stop in town, I headed straight for her house. When I got there to find her truck gone, I turned right back around.

  When I reached the station, I was relieved to see her truck out back. I didn’t want to take liberties, so I parked in front. Needless to say, I was startled to find her father sitting in the waiting area.

  Howard May was a tall, imposing man. He had silver hair and stark features. He was seated in a chair, looking quite impatient, and didn’t see me at first. He glanced up, looking toward Maisie, who was at the reception counter taking a call. “If you don’t mind, I’ve been waiting ten minutes,” he said sharply.

  “For God’s sake, Howard, she’s a dispatcher. Maybe you think you’re important, but somebody else’s life might actually be on the line,” I said, unable to hold myself back from commenting.

  Howard’s gaze swung to me, his dark eyes narrowing as he stood. “What the hell are you doing here, Max?”

  For a beat, I considered not saying a word about my involvement with his daughter. Before I had a chance to answer, the door to the back opened and Harlow emerged. From the look on her face alone, I could guess that Maisie had let her know her father was here. Her features were drawn, and there were two bright pink spots on her cheeks. Her shoulders were tense as her eyes bounced from her father to me, widening when she saw me.

  Speaking of flying blind, I didn’t know what the hell to do now. Obviously, I didn’t plan to show up here at the same time as her father.

  Howard turned to her and barked, “Well, it’s about damn time. I’ve been waiting almost fifteen minutes.”

  “Dad, I was in the middle of something. I know you don’t consider this job important, but I do,” she said sharply. “What are you doing here?”

  “You haven’t been returning my calls. It’s almost Christmas, and I wanted to know what your plans were. Your mother’s parents left a message with me. They would love to see you.”

  Harlow looked as if she was floundering, a mix of emotions passing across her face.

  Howard turned back to me when she didn’t reply. “And you didn’t answer, what the hell are you doing here?”

  Harlow surprised me, stepping to my side. “He’s here to see me, Dad.”

  Howard looked between us, a sense of confusion crossing his face. Just when I was wondering how much she intended to say to her father about us, I felt her hand curl around mine. “I met Max last year at Owen and Ivy’s wedding. We’re seeing each other.”

  My heart started to thud, banging against my ribs. Emotion crashed over me, and I wished like hell Howard wasn’t our audience right now. All I could do was follow Harlow’s lead at this point, so I squeezed her hand, gratified when she squeezed back.

  “I’m spending Christmas with Ivy and Owen…”

  For a moment, I tuned out. That’s where I’ll be for Christmas then. Don’t forget to call Mom to let her know later.

  Harlow’s voice drew me back from my mental interruption. “I’ll call Grandmother and let her know. She has my number, so I’m not sure why she didn’t call me directly. I have to say, I’m not sure why you’re here, Dad. I thought you were done with me.”

  I could feel the subtle tremor of tension running through her and knew this was hard on her. I had seen Howard in action in negotiations before. He had succeeded in business, in part, because he was ruthless and cold. I could only imagine what it had been like to be a child around him. Not that this was a negotiation, but Howard approached everything like that.

  Harlow’s father stared at her and then rolled his eyes, sliding a hand in his pocket. Obviously, the man had flown all the way to Alaska and hunted down his daughter here in this small town on the edge of the wilderness. He clearly wanted to see her for some reason. Yet, for the life of me, I didn’t know what he wanted from her.

  “I might have acted hastily in saying that I was done with you,” he finally said. For the first time ever, I saw a hint of vulnerability in Howard. “If you reconsider…”

  Harlow cut him off. “Dad, I won’t reconsider working for you. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but it won’t be that.”

  Howard’s mouth tightened, and he looked away before nodding slowly. I caught Maisie’s eyes across the room. She looked worried. I was relieved, not only for my presence here, but for Maisie’s. Harlow was used to being alone. The simple fact that she wasn’t alone in facing her father felt important to me, no matter how brief the interaction.

  Howard finally looked back at her and then to me. “Max is a good man.”

  “I know he is, Dad,” Harlow said, her tone startled. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but your opinion of any man in my life isn’t a mark in their favor. I know Max is a good man because of how he’s treated me. I’m not sure why you’re here, and if you’d like to stay in touch again, just let me know. But right now, I need to talk to Max.”

  Howard stared at her before slowly inclining his head again. I wondered if he had ever even hugged his daughter. He didn’t now. Instead, he stepped closer and lifted a hand, awkwardly squeezing her shoulder. “Okay then. I’ll be traveling over the holidays, but you know how to reach me if you need anything.”

  Stepping back, Howard looked between Harlow and me, his gaze considering. Though I didn’t know Howard outside of the business, I sensed he actually might have been a little hurt with Harlow’s clear boundary. Despite his absent approach to parenting, his daughter was one of the most amazing people I knew. Whether she got all of those characteristics from her mother or not, at least I could say Howard hadn’t taken that away from her.

  Knowing how he approached business, I imagined his relationship with Harlow as an adult would be much the same. His savvy negotiation tactics and ruthlessness certainly weren’t going to win Harlow over.

  For a moment, I experienced a stab of empathy for him. After a moment of tense silence, his gaze locked on me. “You treat her right, or you’ll have to answer to me.”

  Harlow saved me from answering. She rolled her eyes, her breath coming out in a huff. “Seriously? You’ve never had an opinion on my love life. I don’t think you’ve ever even asked about it,” she said, her tone almost disbelieving.

  Howard cut his eyes to her. “Well, you’ve never talked to me about it. I know I haven’t been the best father, but I do care about you. Call me if you need anything.”

  At that not-so-warm statement, Howard started to turn away.

  “Howard,” I called. He spun back, lifting a brow. “You have my word I’ll treat her right.”

  Once again, his gaze bounced between us. With a subtle nod, he turned and left, walking out into the winter afte
rnoon.

  This entire time, Maisie had been sitting quietly, as our audience at the reception desk where she took dispatch calls. Harlow looked to me and then to Maisie, her expression confused. Just as I squeezed Harlow’s hand, Maisie spoke.

  “Well, I don’t know your dad too well, and he doesn’t exactly seem like the warm and fuzzy kind, but I guess that went okay?”

  Harlow held my hand tight in hers as she turned and took a few steps to rest her elbow on the counter circling Maisie. I’d braced myself for all kinds of eventualities this afternoon, but this last encounter with her father had blindsided me. At this point, I was simply following Harlow’s lead on everything.

  “No, he’s not warm and fuzzy,” she said with a little laugh.

  “Are you okay?” Maisie asked.

  Harlow cocked her head to the side, her eyes bouncing to mine briefly. “I suppose so. As weird as the conversation might’ve been, it’s probably the nicest my dad has ever been.” A little laugh escaped, and she shook her head slowly. “That was just weird.”

  When she looked to me, as if for some kind of confirmation, I shrugged. “That was certainly like no other conversation I’ve had with your father.”

  At that, she threw her head back with a full-throated laugh, the sound sending a hot jolt through me. Jesus. This woman. She had the craziest effect on me. Nothing about this particular moment was conducive to lust, but then, nothing about Harlow was conducive to anything sensible or rational.

  The sound of her throaty laugh and the feel of her hand in mine sent a score of lust through me. Everything was tangled up together when it came to Harlow. Conveniently, the dispatch line buzzed, and Maisie waved us away as she took the call, her tone shifting to all business.