Dilemma of a Young Mind

by Hiranya Borah

Two years back, when I was waiting at a lobby of a five star hotel for my guest from Afganistan, Deputy Minister of Culture and Education, I saw a familiar face. I could not recall who he might be. His face resembles with one of my class mates, Ravi, whom I could not expect in a five star hotel. When we were at school, he used to stand up on the bench before our teachers ordered, knowing fully well that even if a single student was to be punished, he would be the one. He was not only bad in his studies, but also bad in his behaviour towards the teachers and senior students. He was much older than most of us. He had only one good quality, he was very much considerate to the younger classmates, in general and extremely considerate to me. To become extreme considerate to me had a very strong reason - he used to copy my home works without using any mind to it. One day he copied my father’s name as his and got a good thrashing from our class teacher. But somehow, he was my classmate for good six years, which means he managed to pass the annual examination by hook or by crook.

  After, leaving my school, we rarely meet each other as I left my hometown after my schooling. Last time, I met him after joining to my service in 1991 at a tea stall when I visited my hometown. He commented about my service that, ‘Now, you will be able to attest certificates.’ At that time, I was told that, he had started his business in a modest way.

  After 20 years, I was thinking about him, due to his face resembles with this particular gentleman!

  But to my utter surprise that gentleman shouted at me, ‘Hi Hiranya, how are you?’ Before I could answer, he told, ‘I am sure, you have not expected me in a five star hotel!’

  ‘No, it is not like that(I was lying). I have not met you for a long time and you have gained a lot of weight.’ I tried to explain.

  ‘Everybody is giving this explanation. But I know, nobody expects my meteoric rise to this level.’ I did not respond to his remark. Simply I asked him, why he was in the hotel, was it business trip or something else.

  He was on a semi business and semi social trip to Delhi. Now he is in the export-import business of coal and steel. Though he was not an extremist, but somehow he garnered lot of money during the turmoil period of Assam. He married to a daughter of a businessman of Guwahati and became close to a ruling party politician. His wind fall started in late Nineties and during that period he established a business empire of his own. Unfortunately, I was not aware of all these due to my official posting outside my hometown for a long time.

  He asked me about my career and my family and left with a departing comment, ‘At our place, once many youngsters wanted to be like you and their parents also encouraged their children to be like you, but now, not only the children but also their parents cite my example as a successful person and advise their wards to follow my footsteps. Probably, none is interested to be like you; a technocrat, who seldom gets any recognition from the society, country, even from your own family members! He has to survive on his modest salary. He even does not have the means to buy a two bed room flat in a city without a bank loan. He can not send his children to a good boarding school. He can give good advices in abundance, but nobody has ever given an ear to those. He waits for his monthly salary to foot the essential bills. As he can not afford to pay tuition bills, tries to teach his children by himself at home and explains his children why coaching classes are not good for personality development. Even after his retirement, he can not join politics and even if he joins, it will be disaster for him and his family. He may not get suitable match for his daughter or son due to very obvious economic reasons. He will never be made even a president of local Puja committee, as the next door clerk, of a good table (? you know better), who can donate more than him(technocrat), has the right to become the President!

  Sometimes, I take out my school mark-sheets, and observe that I never got more than 40% marks in any subject in any examination. I then compare your marks and thank God that I did not have mark-sheet like yours. Otherwise, I would have been a useless fellow like you, without money, without servant and without power!’

  In a materialistic world, he may be 101% correct and therefore, I did not have an answer to his comments!!!!!! Do you have??????????????????????????????

  Some Comments are received on this article. Few are placed (in verbatim)for readers:

  Pulakananda Bharali: No answer from my side ....as I have the same question in my mind.

  Dwipen Bhagawati Hiranyada - Given a choice, would you exchange your world with his?

  Maniraj Adhikary A satisfied man can't prosper, and the flip side is - a dissatisfied man can't be happy... May be we are the satisfied lot!

  Bhaskar Phukan Bhindew your friend has equated his achievement with happiness ...what he said before you is a kind of self delusional justification of his material prosperity. Every individual is born with an urge for self actualisation. ..to see his dreams of doing something in life come true. When someone like Ravi achieves material prosperity by any means there is always a tendency to garner social recognition by involment in various public causes.And also a constant self assurance n justification of one's deeds. So in the actual sense man like Ravi are in a constant struggle with their own inner souls every moment of their lives.They are successful but not contended.

  Pradeep Somani He earned his money by all means at his disposal. and he has no qualms about it . But deep inside he knows he was wrong all throughout. He is not the only one.There are thousands like him . I once met a very sucessful industrialist , whose son was good for nothing .To my question , if he was worried about his son, his reply was revealing .....There are thousand students studying in premier institutions , waiting to work under his good-for-nothing son, so no worries

  Jagadish Mour No buyer for honesty & sincerity in this materialistic world, because success with these two is your example & perhaps without that is his example.This attitude & perception of life is very dangerous for younger generation.

  Syeda Jebeen Shah It depends on what one calls success. One can't equate success with a fat bank balance, although there is nothing wrong in being wealthy. There are lot of wealthy people with empty inner lives, with no joy, no peace. I don't know enough to say about your friend; but if he can sleep peacefully at night, and he is a truly happy person, then he is successful. And if, you can sleep peacefully at night, you are successful. Should not compare different lifestyles.

   Dipanjali Talukdar I actually can't think of an answer-but I think I fully endorse what Syeda Jebeen Shah has to say n of course three cheers to u for nice presentation n two cheers for ur successful friend!

  Sanjiv Goswami I think Ravi is correct and may be happy. We have seen Bhagya Kalita too, another drop out, who is very rich. In fact most rich people like Dhirubhai Ambani have no education. Ratan Tata is just a graduate, or is he ? Life is a philosophy to be lived It is your fault Hiranya Borah that you did not define that philosophy or what you want in life at an early stage. You studied hard, maintained morals and did a good job thinking it would bring prosperity and happiness because your parents and peers told you so. Deep inside you too wanted the same things Ravi wanted but you took a different path. But that path did not lead to your 'hidden' goals and now you are confused. It is like praying to God for material things and when we do not get (but the corrupt ones get), we get confused and lose faith in God.

  Chapter 8: A Prostitute and A Sister