by Emily Rose
“I’m assuming you’re Reanna,” he said.
I nodded.
Professor Blake was younger than I pictured him being, but if I had to guess, he was at least in his mid-to late thirties. His light brown hair was cut neatly, and his beard was trimmed to perfection. His eyes were a darker brown than his hair. He wore a white button-down shirt that was tucked into his black pants with a black tie that matched. His shoes were what you’d picture a CEO wearing to one of their meetings.
To my surprise, he was rather built for someone his age, too.
“Well, take a seat. We were just doing introductions,” he said and held his hand out to the room as if I needed directions to where the seats were.
I hurried to the closest empty one and dropped my book bag on the floor. I sat my textbooks on the table and rested my elbow on them as the professor went back to speaking to the class.
“Now who wants to introduce themselves to the class next?” he asked.
I heard a scuffle as someone stood up and headed toward the front of the room. I tried to hide the yawn that threatened to escape me, but it was forgotten the second I saw who had stood up to introduce themselves.
It was Chase from Paradise.
He noticed me too. His eyes rested on me for a second before he looked toward the class.
“It’s Chase, right?” Professor Blake asked from where he stood next to one of the tables close to the wall.
“Yes sir,” Chase said.
My ears seemed to perk up. For whatever reason, I wanted to know more about Chase. Not because I was interested in knowing him, but more like because I was worried someone else was.
“Well, tell us a little bit about yourself and what your goal is with this class,” Professor Blake said.
Chase grinned and crossed his arms. “Well, I’m a social person. I like being around people and meeting new ones. I work as a bartender at a place called Paradise, I have my own place, my own car, and I’m an only child,” he said.
Professor Blake nodded, “Good, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Is it because you’re a social person that you decided to take this class?”
Chase nodded, “Partly. I like people, but I want to understand human behavior a little more. I had a lot of friends in high school that could have used someone to talk to during tough times and I knew at that time that I wanted to pursue a career that would give me the chance to be able to do that for someone else.”
I felt the urge to roll my eyes, because while Chase sounded smart and professional, he also sounded like a robot speaking from its ass.
I called bullshit on him and no matter how much he talked… I still didn’t trust him.
“Great, great, thank you Chase,” Professor Blake said.
Thank God that was over.
“Reanna, would you like to say a few words?” I heard the professor ask.
I sat up straight. Shit, no. I thought this rather than said it, but I wasn’t about to let Chase stand up there and make the whole class bow down at his feet without a little competition. I didn’t answer the professor as I stood up and came to stand in front of the class. I saw Chase look over his shoulder just before he took his seat in the far back.
His eyes weren’t the only eyes on me. The entire class waited, including Professor Blake, as I stood there watching them. I wasn’t much for standing in front of big crowds, but I pushed the rapid beating of my heart away and pasted on a big ol’ smile instead.
“My name is Reanna Conrad. I’m twenty-one and I’m married,” I said this last part for Chase, since I got the impression when I met him that he didn’t think twenty-one was old enough to be married. I wanted him to know that I didn’t give a shit what he thought, “And I work at a coffee shop,” I went on as everyone watched me evenly, “I decided to take this class, because I want to help people. Not because I’m a nosy shithead who wants to know everything about everyone’s personal life,” I finished.
A few people laughed, but I stared at Chase. His eyes held mine and a grin started to appear on his lips as he nodded his head, it looked as if my boldness had impressed him.
“Well, alright then, who’s next?” Professor Blake asked as if he had finally gotten the clue that I was only being a complete smartass and I didn’t care one bit about introducing myself to the class.
I went to take my seat again and willed the next hour to pass in a hurry. Over the next several minutes, more students came to the front, but I didn’t pay much attention to what they were saying. I was lost in thought as I gazed out the window.
Mainly, thoughts of Miles swirled around in my mind. I wanted to fix things and I had almost called him when we were at the court, but my pride got in the way. I wanted him to know that leaving me the way he had wasn’t okay, no matter how much he thought he owed Mia’s brother. I was his wife and I wouldn’t have done something like to him, even if it was Danny who I owed my life to.
And none of that was even touching the subject of lying. He had lied about the situation with Mia, and I wasn’t sure what it meant yet, but I knew it meant something.
I heard Chase’s voice right next to me, and it pulled me from my thoughts.
“Is your head on fire yet?” he asked.
I blinked and looked over to see him sitting in the chair beside me. People were gathering their things and leaving class around us.
“What?” I asked.
He chuckled, “I asked if your head was on fire yet, because it looked like you were doing some deep thinking. I could practically see the smoke coming from your ears.”
I glared and started gathering my things.
“Why do I get the feeling you don’t like me?” Chase asked.
I laughed, but it held no humor. “Wow, you’re quick at catching on,” I said as I grabbed my book bag from the floor and stood up.
Chase stood up then and followed me out the door. “What did I do? You don’t even know me,” he said as he came into step beside me.
I tried to walk faster, but it was no use. “You’re right. I don’t know much about you, but I know when I shouldn’t trust someone.”
“And you think you can’t trust me?” he asked as we headed out the main doors and walked outside.
“I know I can’t trust you,” I said and hurried across the parking lot to my car. I started digging my keys out of my book bag and silently wished a sinkhole would suddenly open up under Chase’s feet as he continued to walk beside me like we were old friends.
“Is this about Danny?” he asked just as we made it to my car.
I stopped and turned to face him so abruptly that he nearly crashed into me. Chase took a step back as I glared up into his eyes. “You know that she is seeing someone, but I don’t think you give a shit about that. I think you are bad news and I think you need to stay away from my friend,” I said.
A slow grin pulled at his lips and I wanted to smack it right off them. “So that is what this is about?”
“Stay away from her,” I said firmly and then turned away from him. I unlocked my car door and yanked it open harder than I needed to.
“See you around, Reanna,” Chase said, amusement clearly evident in his tone.
I got in my car and slammed the door shut before I glared out the window at him, but he was already on his way across the parking lot.
Ugh.
I shook my head, started my car, shoved it into gear, and backed out. I was glad Monday’s were my short days. That was about the only thing that was good about it, because I wasn’t sure I could take anymore of Chase right now.
*
“What do you mean you had a run in with him?” Danny asked a few hours later as we sat across from each other on the couch at Jaxson’s place.
I knew it was safe to talk about Chase since Jaxson had already left for work and I wanted to get down to the truth when it came to Danny. It seemed that both my husband and my best friend were keeping things from me.
And I was tired of it.
“I basically told him to fuck off in the parking lot,” I said and shrugged nonchalantly, like it was no big deal.
Danny gave me a look. One that said she didn’t understand my reaction.
I sighed, “Look, I’m not an idiot. I saw the way you hesitated when you told him you were seeing someone. I mean did you really think about telling him otherwise, because if so, that is a major problem.”
“What? No, I didn’t think about telling him differently,” she said.
I angled my head to the side, “Really?”
Danny opened her mouth to answer and then closed it. She dropped her gaze and I knew things were about to get real right now.
“Okay, I hesitated, but not for the reason you think. I don’t know how to do this, Ray. I don’t know how to be this girl,” she said weakly.
I gave her a side smile. “You mean you don’t know how to be the girl that’s in love?”
She nodded.
“Well, I can’t sit here and pretend like I know all the ins and outs of being in love, because obviously I don’t. I will say that you just have to keep working at it,” I said.
“Look at us sitting here and venting about men,” she said with a laugh.
“I know, right. We seriously need to just have a fun night,” I said.
Danny gasped, “Let’s go to Twisted,” she said.
“Uh ok,” I said with hesitation.
She laughed and stood up. “Oh, come on. We could use some drinks and dancing.”
“But not with other men, right?” I teased.
Danny rolled her eyes, “Shut up, and get your ass up. You can wear some of my clothes,” she said and then headed toward the bedroom.
I sighed and stood up before I followed her into Jaxson’s bedroom. To my utter shock, his room was clean. The walls were black and the carpet, which I realized was the only piece of carpet in the whole house, was a dark gray. He had posters taped to the walls, all of them were of some rock band. I looked around as I heard Danny rummaging through the dresser.
“Here, you can wear this,” she said and threw an outfit onto his bed, which I realized was a black dress I’d seen her wear a few times.
The thing was short. I knew from how it looked on her that it would come several inches above my knees, but it was cute with the cut V down the back and thin straps.
“And here’s the shoes to match,” she said and threw the shoes on the bed next, which were the same color and the type you had to tie around your leg to keep them on.
“Lovely, I’m going to look like a hooker,” I said.
“Shut up, no one will mess with you as long as you have that ring on. Those things are seriously like a warning sign for wandering dicks. Men will see that and take the longest route possible to avoid that woman,” she said.
I laughed but didn’t argue with her. I wasn’t sure how right she was, but I didn’t want to think too hard on it as I grabbed the dress and shoes. While Danny got herself ready in the bathroom, I changed and walked over to the closet. I pulled it open to see a full-length mirror on the inside of the door. I also noticed that this must be Jaxson’s only space now that Danny had moved in since it was crammed full of his clothes.
I laughed at the sight and then looked in the mirror. I had to admit. The dress looked good on me, curving down my body just enough to give off that sexy vibe and the shoes matched perfectly. I smiled and then started working on my hair.
After pulling it up and then taking it down several times, I decided on a tight high ponytail, so the back of the dress stayed visible. I smoothed my hands down my frame and smiled at my reflection.
“Wow, sexy,” I heard Danny say from behind me.
I looked over my shoulder to see her standing at the edge of the bed.
She wore a black skirt with a white tank top and black wedges. She had left her hair down, curling the ends just enough to give it some volume and had redone her makeup.
“Same to you,” I said.
She smiled, “Well, thank you. Are you ready?”
I looked back at the mirror. I was as ready as I wanted to be. “Yeah, I think so,” I said and then stepped back to close the closet.
We headed into the living room where I grabbed my purse, quickly shoved my phone inside and then followed Danny out the door.
It felt like my nineteenth birthday was happening all over again.
Chapter Eight
Jax
I stood outside of Twisted, near the back and as far away from the crowd that waited in line at the door as I could get. I could hear the bass from whatever song was playing inside thumping throughout the parking lot.
I leaned against the wall and put my hands inside my pockets.
I had told Rachel I was taking a ten-minute break, but it had been at least fifteen minutes. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and unlocked the screen. When I found the number, I was looking for in my contacts, I dialed it and waited as it started ringing in my ear.
On the third ring, they finally answered.
“Sup?”
“Where the fuck are you? I can’t wait here forever,” I said.
He laughed. “Chill dude, I’m pulling into the parking lot right now.”
I took a deep breath and ended the call. When I looked up, I saw Jared’s black SUV pulling to a stop near me, the bass from his music vibrating the whole thing. I pushed off the wall and walked up to the window.
He rolled it down when I approached.
“I have to admit. I’m surprised you called,” he said.
I didn’t respond, because I couldn’t believe I had called his ass either or that I was fixing to do this. It had been a long time since I walked away from everything I was about to walk back into. But right now, I wasn’t in the mood to give a shit.
Jared didn’t look any different than he used to. The same thug exterior, he was only older and more pathetic looking. He seemed to notice my distaste for this whole ordeal, because he laughed and then held the small Ziploc baggie out the window.
“Go easy with these. They aren’t for the faint of heart,” he said with a grin.
I grabbed the bag, even though every part of me told me not to. I forced that part aside and then pulled out the cash from my pocket. I placed it in his hand and then turned away, shoving the Ziploc bag into my pocket as I did.
“Remember, I’m just a phone call away, Jaxson. It could be just like old times,” Jared called from behind me.
I ignored him and walked around to the back of the building. When I knew I was alone, I stopped and leaned against the wall where I pulled the baggie out of my pocket. I held it in my palm and gazed down at the small purple bars.
I didn’t think as I opened the bag and snapped off half of a bar. I popped it into my mouth and swallowed, closing my eyes as I did. My head fell back against the brick wall as I put the bag back into my pocket and breathed in deeply.
I tried to remember the last time I had sunk to this level, but it was because of these damn bars that I couldn’t remember.
I just wanted to forget.
Forget my past.
Forget my present.
Forget my fucking monsters dancing in my head trying to escape.
*
There was something about being high on Xanax bars and being inside a bar. The lights mixed with the music made the experience even more addictive.
I leaned against the wall in the corner of the bar, watching as people danced, laughed, took shots. I was supposed to be watching for those who might start fighting, but right now, under this spell, I just simply didn’t give a shit. I was numb, a good kind of numb.
I was also tired. I felt like I could sleep for days and not even care that I did. I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes as I listened to the noises around me. All of them seemed so far away, yet so fucking close.
This feeling couldn’t be described in words even if I tried to explain it to someone. It was a feeling I had once lived for years ago.
&nb
sp; And it was a feeling I was beginning to live for now.
I took a deep breath and that was when I heard her.
“Jaxson?”
When I blinked open my eyes, I saw Ray watching me with a margarita in her hand. She wore a short black dress that I had seen Danny wear a few times and a few strands of her hair had fallen around her face.
Maybe it was the Xanax or maybe I was just to that point of not giving a shit, but I glanced down her frame only long enough to notice the way that dress made her body look.
Like holy shit.
Was I really looking at Ray this way?
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I met her gaze again and hoped like hell she hadn’t caught my fuck up. “Yeah.”
“You look pale,” she said and then moved closer to me, so that she was standing directly in front of me.
I hadn’t had time to register her movements as I stared into her eyes. Ray reached her free hand up and that was when I felt her cool skin touch my forehead, like she was checking a child for a fever. I flinched just barely enough for her to notice.
She met my gaze and held it evenly. “I’m just checking to see if you have a fever.”
I didn’t respond or pull my gaze away from her face as she touched her hand to my forehead once more. It didn’t matter how much I thought about pulling away from her touch, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Instead, I stood there numbly, watching the way her eyes looked me over.
“You’re warm,” she said barely loud enough for me to hear and then met my gaze.
God damn, it felt like all the air in the room had just vanished.
“What would you do?” Ray asked as she slowly dropped her hand from my forehead and then looked up at me behind hooded eyes.
“About what?” I asked, but I already knew the answer.
“What would you do if Danny left you without an explanation?” she said.
I stared into her eyes and in the entire time I’ve known Ray, it wasn’t until this moment that I took the time to see her.
And I saw the pain shimmering in her eyes.
The pain Miles had put there. For whatever reason, maybe it was the Xanax or maybe I was just seeing shit clearly for the first time, but I felt an overwhelming sense of anger toward my best friend. One that was so strong that I felt my hands clench into fists at my sides.