by Emily Rose
I had to see.
My heels carried me quickly across the parking lot and I got within a few feet of him before I reached out to grab his arm. A shockwave rushed through me the second he stopped walking and turned around to face me. Those eyes. God, I hadn’t seen them in so long. This couldn’t be real. I didn’t want to believe it, but they weren’t going away. He was here and he was real.
“Oh God….” I whispered as I released his arm as if it burned to touch him.
A grin pulled at the corner of his mouth before he spoke in an even, unaffected tone.
“Well, hello sister.”
Chapter Forty-Four
Danny
“Are you okay sis? You look like you could pass out at any second,” he said.
His voice was like a knife to the gut. I could hear it, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying. I couldn’t even believe what I was seeing. My breathing came quick, which didn’t help the dizziness that had invaded my head. I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack.
“You….” I somehow found my voice and spoke through shaky words.
He smiled and it was like seeing the devil smile at his handiwork. “Me? What about me?”
“I…you…it doesn’t make any sense…” I was speaking through confusion, fear, and anger.
He shoved his hands inside the pockets of his jeans and shrugged as if this wasn’t a big deal at all. “Yeah, well shit happens.”
Before I could say anything, I felt someone grab my arm and I nearly jumped out of my skin as I spun around to see Miles. He released me and then looked over my head. The rage I saw in Miles’ eyes confused me even more, because there was no surprise. It was like he already knew.
“Oh, look who decided to show up. How are you? From the looks of your situation, it doesn’t look like you’re doing that good.”
I looked between Miles and my brother.
“Danny, you should probably go back inside,” Miles said in a voice so cold and even that a chill shot down my spine.
Owen grinned wickedly, “I wouldn’t listen to him, sis. You can’t trust him. He’s a liar. Isn’t that right, Miles?”
“You should leave. Now,” Miles’ gaze looked like Owen should be dead on the spot.
“I was just having a drink at a local bar. It’s not my fault you and your friends decided to show up at the same bar, but then again, I shouldn’t be surprised either. I mean Twisted is gone now,” Owen answered in a tone laced with humor.
Miles took a step forward, but I moved quicker and stepped in front of him, acting as a block between him and Owen. My eyes burned into my brother’s.
“I will never believe a single word you say, so it’s probably in your best interest to walk away,” I said.
He stared down at me and it made me sick to see that he seemed to be enjoying this whole situation. “You don’t even want to know how I’m standing here right now?” he asked.
I resisted that urge. “Nope. I could care less why you are here.”
He blinked slowly. “Are you sure that you and Miles weren’t the ones who fucked behind Jaxson and Ray’s back?”
My heart dropped, because he knew things. Things he shouldn’t know at all, but again, I refused to ask him how he knew. “Leave,” I said.
Owen laughed harshly. “Alright, but don’t come running to me when you can’t figure it out, because I seriously doubt Miles will tell you anything.”
I felt Miles move behind me, but I stepped back and pressed my body against his to remind him that I was standing there.
“Go!” I said and then pointed toward the SUV he had been headed to.
He blinked slowly and then held his hands up in defense as he started walking backwards. “Alright, I’m leaving, but don’t forget what I said. Miles is a liar,” he said and then turned around to continue walking away.
My heart was beating madly inside my chest as emotions and thoughts ran through me. I could feel my body trembling as I watched my brother get into his SUV and drive off. It wasn’t until he was completely out of the parking lot that I realized I was still pressed against Miles. I took a deep breath, stepped away from him, and then turned around so I could see his eyes.
To my surprise, he didn’t try to look away. He locked his gaze with mine. My arms crossed as I tried to process what I had just witnessed. Neither one of us said anything, but we didn’t look away from each other either.
It was at that moment that I realized Owen might very well be telling the truth this time.
Miles might really be a liar.
“I deserve to know the truth,” I said.
He blinked slowly, as if he expected as much, and then took a deep breath. “I’ll explain everything. Just not here,” he said.
I didn’t want to agree, but I knew he was right. Standing outside this bar was not the place to have this conversation.
“When?” I asked.
Miles sighed heavily. “I don’t know.”
I shook my head, “Well, as it sits right now, I don’t know who to believe. I don’t want to say Owen, because he’s lied before, but then again, you seem to be lying too.”
“I wasn’t the only one who lied,” he said evenly.
I thought about that for a moment and tried to figure out what he meant. That was when I realized that the only people who had been inside Twisted that night had been Miles, Kevin, Jared, and…Jaxson. I took a small breath as my heart flipped inside my chest.
“Jax? He lied too, didn’t he?” I asked, but I already knew the truth.
Miles didn’t answer, but that was enough of an answer to tell me that I was right. I dropped my arms to my sides as I stared at him.
“I can’t believe this,” I laughed once without humor.
He seemed like he was about to say something else, but then I heard his name being called behind him. I looked as he turned around and saw Mia standing next to Rachel a few feet from us. She had a suspicious look on her face as she glanced between us.
“What are you guys doing?” Rachel asked and I could tell she was feeling the buzz now as she leaned against Mia to keep herself upright.
“Nothing, we were just talking,” Miles said.
I met his eyes for a moment and then looked back at Mia.
She still looked like she was trying to figure everything out as she spoke, “About what?” she asked.
“It doesn’t matter,” Miles responded.
“You guys are no fun,” Rachel chimed in and then laughed at her own words.
“Come on. Let’s get her home,” I said and then started toward Mia and Rachel. I tried to keep my gaze down as I grabbed Rachel’s other arm and pulled it over my shoulder, but I could feel Mia’s gaze on me as we started toward Miles’s car.
After we all piled into the Camaro, I let Rachel lay her head in my lap as Mia took the passenger seat and Miles took the driver’s. No one said anything as he started the engine. I felt the vibration of it through my body when he took off. Instead of looking up front, I decided to look out the window and tried not to think about what I had learned tonight, but it was no use.
That was the only thing I could think about.
Chapter Forty-Five
Ray
“Well, everything looks good with your chart. Are you ready to find out the sex of your baby?” My OB asked as she sat the clipboard on the table beside her.
My heart bounced inside my chest at the thought of figuring out what I was having. I held my hands on my small bump as I sat on the table and smiled slightly. “I don’t know. Do you think I can?” I asked.
Dr. White smiled at me. “Well, unless he or she isn’t positioned correctly, I don’t see why you can’t find out today,” she said.
I looked down at my stomach. I had seen my ultrasounds already, but it didn’t matter. Each time I went to get my check-ups, I felt the same emotions, because they were always different. I watched my baby grow from a tiny little speck to the size of a banana. It was an amazing, yet terrifyin
g thing to see. The bigger my baby got, the more real it became that there was a human growing inside me.
“Do you not want to know?” Dr. White asked, pulling my attention back to her.
“I mean I do. It’s just kind of scary I guess,” I said truthfully.
She nodded, “I understand. It’s a big deal.”
“It is, but I want to know,” I said.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” I answered, even though I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to know yet.
“Okay then, just lay back and we can get started,” Dr. White said as she stood up and walked over to the table.
I leaned back and pulled my shirt up. It took Dr. White a minute to prepare everything and while she worked, I thought about the fact that I still needed to talk to her about the DNA tests. I wasn’t sure if I could get one done before the baby was born, but I had to try. There was a part of me that didn’t want to wait that long, but then there was a part of me that didn’t want to know at all.
“You ready?” Dr. White asked.
I blinked, took a deep breath, and then nodded. She smiled as she squeezed the ECG gel onto my stomach and then pressed the transducer probe against it. It took a minute of moving the probe around before I finally heard the sound that made me fall in love with this little banana sized human.
The heartbeat. It was strong, quick, and filled my ears with joy as Dr. White held the probe steady and looked at the computer screen.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
I met her gaze and nodded, “Yeah, I think so.”
She laughed and then turned the screen, so that I could see it. The first time I saw an ultrasound of my baby, I couldn’t tell much of it, but then I learned how to read them. On the computer, I could see that my baby had legs, arms, feet, and body. It really was a tiny human now. The amount of emotions that washed over me made tears come to my eyes as I stared at it.
“This is amazing,” I said.
Dr. White nodded and pointed to a spot on the screen, “It is. Do you see this?”
I nodded.
“That is his or her hand. It looks like she or he is trying to suck on the thumb,” she said.
I laughed as I watched the screen. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, but at the same time, it was really happening.
“Alright, let’s see if we can get a better image and find out the sex,” Dr. White said as she moved the probe around on my stomach.
I watched the screen as my heart raced inside my chest. Finally, after what felt like forever, Dr. White stopped on a spot on my stomach and held the probe steady.
“Do you see that?” she asked and then pointed at the screen again.
I lifted onto my elbows and tried to figure out what she was pointing at. Finally, I saw it. “Yes, I see it.”
She smiled and dropped her hand from the screen, “Well, that is the sex of your baby. It looks like you’re having a little boy.”
A boy. I was having a boy.
My heart filled with excitement, fear, love, and so many other things I couldn’t describe as tears filled my vision again. “Oh, my…” I said as my hand covered my mouth.
Dr. White laughed. “Yes, very exciting and from the looks of it, he’s going to be a tall boy. He’s growing perfectly and his heartrate is strong. Everything looks great.”
I laughed at her “tall” comment. “Well, his height doesn’t surprise me,” I said as I thought about how tall both Jax and Miles were.
“Is his father tall?” she asked as she printed my ultrasound pictures off and then handed me a towel to wipe off the gel.
I cleaned up and then pulled my shirt down, so I could sit upright again. “Actually, that’s something I want to talk to you about,” I said.
Dr. White handed me the pictures and then shut everything off before she took her seat again. “Ok, I’m all ears,” she said.
I took a deep breath as I stared down at the images in my hand. I wasn’t even sure where to start with this conversation, but it didn’t feel as hard to say as I thought it would be. Finally, I looked up to meet her eyes and told the truth.
“I actually don’t know who the father is,” I said.
I was half-expecting her to give me a judgmental look or something, but she simply smiled at me before she spoke, “Well, there’s options out there that will help you figure it out if that’s something you’re interested in doing,” she said.
I relaxed at her words and nodded, “Yes, I want to know. I mean… I need to know,” I said.
She nodded, “That’s no problem. Are you wanting to find out before he is born or after?”
“I would like to find out before he’s born.”
“Ok, well in that case, we can do a blood test. I will just have to take some blood from you and then you’ll need a DNA sample from whoever you had sex with. It will take a few weeks for the tests to be complete, but the results are pretty accurate. Of course, they aren’t the same as taking a sample from the baby, but a lot of women do the blood test,” she said.
I nodded as relief washed over me. “Well, there’s only two possible fathers. Will I need samples from them both?” I asked.
“No, since there’s only two, ruling one out will tell you, but it could help to have samples from both, so the laboratory can match up them up better,” she said.
“Ok,” I said as dread replaced the relief I had.
Dr. White sighed and then stood up to walk over to me. She placed her hand on my shoulder and looked down at me with friendly eyes, “I know it’s a lot to deal with. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through at this point, but there’s ways to ease your mind. I can take the blood sample today or we can do it when you come back if you want to talk to the partners first,” she said.
“Thank you. I want to talk to them first,” I said.
“That’s fine. I guess I’ll see you in two weeks then?”
I nodded.
Dr. White gave me another smile before she walked out of the room and left me alone. I sat there a minute as I processed everything and when I thought I could walk out of here without breaking down, I got up and headed to the front desk where I talked with the lady there to get my next appointment scheduled. Once that was done, I headed back outside to my car and got inside.
After I pulled my keys out and started the engine, I grabbed my phone from my purse and opened my contacts. I scrolled until I found Miles’s number. He was still in my phone as “Hubby” and seeing that made the ache come to life in my heart. I took a deep breath as my finger hovered above his name. I knew everything was over, but I couldn’t bring myself to change it back.
Finally, I tapped on the little call button and it brought his name up on the screen as it started to ring. My hands shook as I put the phone to my ear and rested my head back against the seat. Closing my eyes, I listened to the sound of the ringing, strangely feeling at ease with it.
On the third ring, his voice came across the line, startling me. “Hello?”
I blinked my eyes open and lifted my head off the seat as the sound of his deep voice traveled through every nerve in my body, “Miles?”
“Last time I checked,” he said.
“I just walked out of the doctor’s office,” I said.
He didn’t say anything at first, but I could hear movement on the other end and all I could picture was him laying next to Mia in his bed. I tried to push this thought aside and focus on the problem at hand, but it was hard to not see that when he admitted it happened.
“And? Are you going to tell me what the doctor said?” he asked.
I cleared my throat, “Uh, yeah. I found out that she can do a blood test on me, but I’ll also need some DNA samples from you…. And uh… Jax,” I said.
“You don’t have to stutter everything you say his name. It’s not like it’s a secret anymore,” he said.
I didn’t respond.
“Anyway, I’m going to let you handle talking to Jax about it, but
I’ll give you a sample. I want to get this over with as soon as possible,” he said.
“Ok.” It was all I could say.
After everything we had been through the past few years, I couldn’t believe I was here. At this point in my life, debating on who the father to my child was. I always assumed that if I ever got pregnant, it would be Miles’ child, but that wasn’t the case and it was all because of me. I did this and now I had to live with it for the rest of my life. Me and Jax both agreed that what we did was a mistake, but that didn’t change the fact that it happened and now we were all in this position, unsure of what would come next.
“Ray?”
My eyes focused on the car parked in front of me as Miles’s voice traveled through my ear. I couldn’t stop myself as the tears pooled in my eyes. I closed them, but it didn’t stop the tears from falling as I dropped my head and held the phone to my ear.
“This is so hard….” I said weakly as I continued to cry right in front of everyone in the parking lot, but at this point, I didn’t care. I was too tired to care.
Miles didn’t say anything, but he didn’t hang up either, so I kept talking.
“I know I messed up. I know it’s all my fault. I never stopped loving you. I was hurt and angry, but that isn’t an excuse for what I did,” I cried.
Again, he didn’t respond, so I went on.
“I’m sorry for everything. I wish you could understand how sorry I am,” I said.
This time, he spoke. “And I wish you could feel what I felt when I found out what you did. Jax was my brother, Ray. My fucking brother. He’s just as guilty for this shit as you are. I mean just try to picture me inside your best friend, making Danny moan my name, and then tell me how sorry you are,” he said.
I knew exactly what he was saying. I couldn’t even imagine him inside Danny like that. Just the thought made me feel a type of rage I had never felt before, but it also made me feel pain. Like someone was stabbing me right in the heart and twisting the knife. And that was just the thought of it happening. I couldn’t even imagine what I would feel like if it had happened.