Dusk
Page 9
Though the rest was up to me, I wasn’t given much choice.
The ticket and information came with a note containing the most words Mr. Sparrow had spared me—ever. He asked me to not share my plans with anyone. He said this arrangement would keep me safe, as Mason had wanted. Those words broke my heart and at the same time, offered me a future, one free of the baggage of my life.
In England, I would be me. I wouldn’t be a sister or a daughter. I wouldn’t be a secret lover or a distraction. As the last seventy-two hours played out, I told myself that I was thankful Mr. Sparrow had chosen a country with a language I could understand.
Mason was the one born with an uncanny ability with languages and linguistics, not me.
My plane was set to leave in five hours.
My ticket was first class.
And I was to meet a car in two hours.
While I didn’t own luggage, Mason did. I believe he’d used it to return from his third tour. Truly, it wasn’t much, but it was capable of holding my meager belongings. Those suitcases were now packed as I made another trek around the apartment, determined to take whatever I could to keep my brother with me. Maybe one day he’d stop glaring and instead, I’d see his green eyes and shining smile.
As I checked my purse for the one hundredth time for my ticket and all Mr. Sparrow had given me, there was a knock on Mason’s door.
There were only two people who could be on the other side of the door. Mr. Sparrow wasn’t an option; he’d said his piece in the form of my eviction notice. That wasn’t fair. He wasn’t sending me to the street. He’d been extremely generous in his offer.
How could I not take it?
That left the possibilities of Reid or Patrick.
As tears prickled the backs of my eyes, I prayed it was Patrick. I’d already said goodbye to Reid, without letting him know I was. I didn’t think my heart could take an encore.
The knock came again.
“Lorna, I know you’re in there. Open the damn door.”
I took a haggard breath as Reid’s deep baritone voice filtered through the door.
“I will fucking break down the damn door.”
He sounded—angry?
I had never heard that tone from him before.
My gaze went to the three suitcases lined along the breakfast bar.
The knock turned to pounding.
“Damn it, Lorna. This is your last warning.”
Leaving the suitcases where they were, I straightened my neck and shoulders, lifted my chin, and walked to the door. Opening it only enough to catch sight of the man I’d deemed my prince, I feigned strength and resilience I didn’t possess. “Reid, what is it?”
It was then I saw as well as heard.
His handsome features were transformed. His soft, loving stare was wild with emotions. The muscles in his neck were taut, and his teeth strained under the immense pressure as his chiseled jaw clenched.
Before he could answer, I took a step back. “Reid?” I’d never seen him as anything other than loving and kind.
He walked past me into the apartment, as he scanned the living room. His dark gaze landed on the suitcases before he spun, seizing my shoulders. “What the actual fuck?” My body shook with his words as his grip upon me intensified. “I was right. You’re leaving? You’re fucking leaving.”
The last statement was no longer in question.
“Stop.” I tried to pry myself from his grasp. “Reid...” I looked up at him and into his dark stare churning with anger. In that second, I was unable to match his rage. I didn’t have it in me. What I had was the immense sadness the last week had given me. It no longer simmered but boiled like a raging river trembling through my body. The tears I’d shed in the prior days were nothing in comparison to the gut-wrenching, salty, acidic sobs that sprang like a geyser from the bubbling pool of my emotions.
I’d opened the door ready to fight, but with my body in his grasp, I had none.
The realization hit.
I didn’t have the fight.
I had nothing.
Yes, I had suitcases, an airline ticket, money, and a waiting apartment. Compared to what I’d had a week ago with my brother, a lover, and friends, it was nothing, and nothing was my future.
“I-I,” I stuttered as my chin fell to my chest.
Reid’s large hands released my shoulders. Before I could fall, he gently palmed my cheeks and lifted my bloodshot eyes to his.
We were at a crossroad.
I expected many things.
Reid would yell, as Mason sometimes did.
He would lash out, as men my mother dated had.
He would curse and demand things I wasn’t able or willing to give.
I steeled myself for any of those scenarios.
Though I wasn’t certain how I would respond, I knew I had to. I had to do as Mr. Sparrow bid. No one other than Mason had crossed him. I sure as hell, at five feet two and one hundred and ten pounds, with no money, no army, and no one on my side, wasn’t a formidable opponent against the kingpin of Chicago.
Only my ragged breaths filled my ears until I became aware that I wasn’t the only one struggling. This mountain of a beautiful man before me was too. His breaths matched mine. It was as if we’d run a marathon or more enjoyably, both experienced the best sexual experience of our lives.
Neither of those had occurred.
His pain was palpable. It slithered like a snake from him to me. The poisonous venom reminded me that I wasn’t the only one to experience loss.
“Reid—”
Lorna
The tower – nine years ago
“Reid—?”
One of his hands left my cheek as his finger came to my lips, stopping my words. “No, Lorna, I came here to say something.” He took a deep breath, flaring his nostrils and standing taller. “Tell me why you’re leaving?”
A question.
I wasn’t expecting a question.
My shoulders moved in a shrug as I tried to articulate my plans without saying what Mr. Sparrow had forbidden me to say. “I don’t belong here.”
Letting go of me, Reid took a step back. His wide chest heaved, stretching the material of his shirt with pent-up breath. His mahogany biceps bulged beneath the sleeves, and his long legs moved slowly around Mason’s living room. Finally, he turned, his chin raised high and resolute. “You’re right.”
He moved toward my suitcases and reached for a handle.
My head shook. “What are you doing?” My volume rose. “You’re helping to throw me out?”
He didn’t say a word as his dark gaze consumed me. Instead, he reached for the second and then the third suitcase. Lifting all three, he walked toward the door.
As he set down one and opened the door, I found my anger. I found the emotion my sadness had dwarfed. It came back with a vengeance, fueling me like I hadn’t been fueled since Mason disappeared in the same elevator I would be leaving in. “Fuck you, Reid. Fuck all of you. You pretended to like me, to care about me. Well, congratulations. You fooled me. And you know what else?” My voice rose, each statement gaining strength.
I was a locomotive heading downhill. I would probably crash at the bottom, but right now I was picking up speed.
He didn’t answer as he lifted the suitcases and stepped through the threshold into the common area.
I quickly followed. “Because of you, my last memory of my brother is his hurt. My last...” The damn tears were back. “I’d deceived him. We had trust, he and I, and because of you—”
In the middle of the common area, Reid dropped all of the luggage to the floor and turned. The fire was back in his eyes, blazing out of control. “Because of me?” He came closer. “Sure, Lorna. If it will make it easier for you to sleep at night, I’ll take the blame. I’ll take it all.” His hands were again on my shoulders, his grip intensifying with every word, to the point of pain. “I’m not going to argue with you over whose decision it was to keep our relationship a secret from Mas
on. Blame me. I can fucking take it.”
“Relationship?” I yelled. “A screw? A piece of meat? What was I exactly to you, Reid? Was it a thrill to know you were banging your friend’s sister?”
One hand left my shoulder as it simultaneously gripped my chin. His breathing deepened as strain showed in his taut features. “Is that what you think?”
The truth was that I hadn’t thought that, not until this minute. Not until he was throwing me out too. I couldn’t speak, not with his grip. Instead, I made a half-hearted attempt to nod.
Reid walked me backward until I couldn’t walk any farther. There was a wall or a door—I didn’t know. All I knew was that I was caught between an immovable force of nature and an unmoving structure.
“Listen to me.”
Did I have a choice?
“We can argue for the next fifty years over when we should have told Mason. I don’t give a fuck. He was one of my best friends, so if you think I’m standing here without remorse, you’re wrong. But not an ounce...” His voice rose. “Not one fucking ounce of that remorse has anything to do with us. You, Lorna Pierce, are not any of the things you said. For the record, I don’t randomly screw. And a piece of meat?” His dark glare went from my head to my toes. “Sweetheart, you’re barely a chicken nugget. But that doesn’t stop the way I feel about you.”
I found my voice. “You feel like you want me gone, just like everyone else.”
“Everyone doesn’t want you gone.”
I took a deep breath, straightening my neck. “The only one who matters does.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.”
Before I could answer, his lips were on mine.
Strong, powerful, and possessive.
It was our first real kiss in a week. It was the first kiss that didn’t offer sympathy. This kiss took unapologetically. The force bruised my lips as his tongue demanded entrance. This kiss was as far from sympathy as one could get. It was the blaze I’d seen in his eyes transformed into our connection. The fire blazing in his dark orbs had needed an outlet, and this kiss was it. Each punishing assault of his lips on mine was an out-of-control fire brimming with heat, passion, and desire.
My body lost rigidity as I melted toward him. This connection was an unmanageable wildfire ravaging everything in its path. A whimper turned to a moan. My arms moved up to his shoulders as the uncontainable heat filled me, twisting my insides, and dampening my core.
When Reid pulled away, he asked, “Do you know why you’re wrong?”
Wrong?
I wasn’t sure what he meant or was talking about. I couldn’t think straight. “What?”
His strong body pressed against me, pushing me into the wall. Even through his blue jeans and mine, I could feel his hard and angry desire pressed against my belly. Along with all the passion, sadness and uncertainty wavered in the air, shimmering under the lights as his voice deepened. The tenor lowered. “I matter.”
I tilted my head, trying to understand.
“You matter. My opinion, Lorna, it matters.”
It was coming back. The reason I was leaving. “But...h-he said not to tell you.”
“You didn’t. I figured it out. I figured it out before I came up here. And before I came up here, I made one thing clear to Sparrow: for me to stay a part of this outfit, a part of our team, and a part of the Sparrow success, you are staying too.”
A lump came to my throat as Reid’s proclamation reverberated through me. “How? How did you figure it out?”
He shook his head once. “That’s not what’s important.”
“But Mr. Sparrow?”
Reid didn’t answer. Instead, in the common area of the apartments, he fell to one knee. “I never imagined doing this. I never thought I’d find someone who I loved so much that the idea of even a day without her would leave me helplessly empty.” His cheeks rose as his lips curled. “So I don’t have a prepared speech.” He reached for my hands. “I don’t even have a ring.”
My breathing racked against my chest as my lungs fought for air and my eyes again filled with tears.
“If I could ask for your hand, I’d ask my friend. I’d tell him that I love his sister. I’d tell him that she’s the first thing I think about when I wake and the last thought before I sleep.”
My entire body trembled as impossibly more tears fell.
“I’d ask him to trust me with her because if he would, I’d do every damn thing in my power to make each day of her life better than the day before. I’d love and worship her. I’d take her hand.” He squeezed mine. “And I’d walk beside her wherever life led us.” He cleared his throat. “I would promise him that I was raised by two of the best women who ever walked this earth, and they taught me that women are God’s gift to men. Women aren’t meant to be ruled over, but made of Adam’s rib to be a partner at our side. I’d promise him that I would do that. I would love you, stand beside you, lay down my life for you, and listen to you, because Gram always said that the only way to know someone is to listen.”
He leaned over my hands and kissed my knuckles. When he looked up, I couldn’t stop my smile. It wasn’t diminished by the tears but enhanced.
“Lorna, I can’t ask your brother for your hand, but I can ask you. Will you marry me?”
If I were to be honest, I had never imagined this scene either. I didn’t have a speech in my head that needed to be said. There was a big part of me that wished Reid could ask Mason, that I could have his approval.
And then I did.
I looked over at the elevator doors.
Mason was there.
Not in reality, but spiritually, in my mind.
The glare was gone.
My brother was smiling at me—at us.
I wanted to ask Reid again about Mr. Sparrow. I wanted to know if he planned for us to stay here in this tower with them. And then I caught sight of the suitcases. In that second, I knew that I didn’t care if we stayed or left. The only part that I cared about, the part that was deep inside me, was the desire to be anywhere with this man.
“Yes.” I fell down to my knees so that we were eye to eye. “Yes, Reid, I want to marry you. I want to get to know you better. I want to fall asleep beside you and wake up with you.” My smile grew. “I want to learn more about Gram, and I want to be the kind of woman she’d approve of for her grandson. I want to love you like you deserve. I know you couldn’t ask Mace, but somewhere in my heart, I believe he would have said yes.”
“Before or after he punched me?”
I smirked. “Probably after.”
Reid pulled my hands upward as we both stood. “Earlier, what you said about not belonging here?”
I nodded as I looked at the suitcases and back to him. “I didn’t. I don’t know. He wants—”
“He is taken care of,” Reid said resolutely. “The choice isn’t his. It’s yours. And you were right. You don’t belong in Mason’s apartment. You belong in ours.”
Ours?
Nerves like small insects scattered through my bloodstream. I was prepared to leave alone. I was willing to leave with Reid—almost excited.
But to stay?
“I-I...”
Reid’s smile bloomed again. “I know the decor is awful. I know it needs work to be a home. I guess to me it didn’t need to be more than my space. That was before. I want it to be a home now—our home.”
I looked around the common area. “But he owns this. And he doesn’t want me here.”
“He’s changed his mind.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know him well, but he doesn’t seem like the kind of man who often changes his mind.”
“You’re right again. He’s not.” Reid stood taller. “This time he did. I hope your choice is to stay because as of a few minutes ago, your airplane ticket was canceled. The money was retrieved from the account in Warwick. And the apartment lease will be cancelled tomorrow. As for the cash he gave you, do whatever you want with it.”
My gaze narrowed. �
�You know about everything?”
“I told you. I figured it out.”
“How?”
“Does it matter?”
Did it?
“You want to stay here?” I asked. “You and Mr. Sparrow are good? I didn’t ruin it?”
More gently than before, Reid reached for my shoulders and grinned. “Lorna, the reason I know I love you is that question. Instead of worrying about the million things you could be worried about, you’re asking me if my friendship with a man who tried to send you away is all right. I’m sure through the years to come, I’ll find a thousand other reasons to love you, but right now, it’s your amazing heart and your ability to care for people who may not deserve it.”
“Does he?”
“Does who what?” Reid asked.
“Does Mr. Sparrow,” I began, hesitant to ask, but needing to know. After all, my brother had befriended him, vowed to support him, and so had Reid, yet to me he was cold and indifferent at best. My question was genuine. “Does he deserve to have people to care about him?”
Reid nodded. “He does. He’s complicated and driven. He feels guilty for what happened to Mason. One day, he’ll be able to look at you and see you and not your brother. If it takes him a while, please be patient. Remember, we have fifty or more years. He’ll come around.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am.”
“Then I trust you,” I said, lifting to my tiptoes and placing a kiss on his cheek. I again saw the suitcases. “So you weren’t throwing me out?”
“No, sweetheart, I was moving you in.”
Opening the door to his, I mean our apartment, I grinned at the one recliner and big screen television. “You’re right. This place needs work.”
“And you, the future Mrs. Murray, are the perfect person for the job.” His eyebrows danced. “If you accept, I should warn you, there is a good chance that there could be inappropriate sexual advances on that job.”