Longbourn's Songbird

by Beau North

  “She said that?”

  “Every bit,” Richard said, Elizabeth’s words still fresh in his mind. I’m choosing myself.

  Darcy stood, taking another beer from the trunk of the car. He took a few swallows, looking out into the night. His shoulders shook for a second, not with tears but simple, amazed laughter.

  “She can’t stop being incredible, can she? God, I’m…I’m so fucking proud of her.” He sobered, shaking his head. “I blew it, didn’t I, Richie?”

  Richard stood up from where he sat on the ground, clapping his cousin on the shoulder.

  “You might have had this all sewn up if not for—”

  “Caroline.” Darcy rolled his eyes. “I gave up the love of my life for a bag of sticks. No bigger idiot has ever lived.”

  “I’m inclined to agree with you,” Richard said, choosing to ignore the love of my life comment.

  “But I thought you…that night, you didn’t come back.”

  “And you thought? Oh. Oh. No.”

  Of course, he didn’t need to tell Darcy everything. Richard remembered the way she’d kissed him under the willow tree, her eyes welling up as she tried to unzip her dress.

  “No, Slim.” He grabbed her wrists, holding her arms immobile. “Not like this. I want you, but I want you to want me for me, not to settle a score.”

  She twisted her arms free, her small fists raining blows on his chest and arms, shouting in between blows.

  “What. Is. Wrong. With. All. Of. You?” He let her rant until her sobs won out then held her on his lap. He cradled her head against his chest, letting her cry herself dry.

  “Nothing happened,” Richard said to his cousin. “I took her back to Longbourn and drove around the rest of the night.”

  “And the last two weeks…nothing…”

  “No, D. Nothing like that.”

  “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. And I’m sorry that I’m not more sorry, but I can’t be.”

  “Forget it.” Richard shrugged and said, “There is one thing I want to know.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Where the hell did you get all these baseballs?” Darcy looked sheepish for a moment before grinning crookedly at Richard.

  “Lambton High.”

  “You own a baseball team, if I recall, and you decided to steal baseballs from the high school?”

  Darcy grinned. “If you’d been there, it would have been just like old times. I could hardly get over that damn fence without stepping on your back.”

  “You’ll return them tomorrow.” It wasn’t a question.

  “Relax, I already planned to send Stevens. Now are we going to play pop-up or what?”

  ***

  Georgiana rushed to her window at the sound of raucous singing approaching the house. It was still dark, but she could see her brother and Richard, their arms slung over the other’s shoulders as they staggered up the path. She listened and caught a piece of the song they were singing, blushing as she realized what it was about.

  “You’ll never have better than me, my dear, you’ll never have better than me! You’ll never go wrong with a fella this long, you’ll never have better than me!”

  “Good heavens,” she muttered, closing the curtains before going back to bed with her cheeks still burning.

  The next morning, she crept into the music room only to find it miraculously empty. She felt such a surge of relief that she slumped against the door. That’s how Mrs. Reynolds found her when she came in with two maids in tow.

  “Miss Darcy!” The housekeeper startled at finding her there. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m all right, Mrs. Reynolds. I’m…I’m just glad.”

  The housekeeper nodded. “The only cure for a broken heart is time,” she said sagely to Georgiana.

  “How did you know?” Georgiana frowned, the expression a mirror of her older brother. “He didn’t even tell me.”

  “He didn’t need to tell me,” Mrs. Reynolds said kindly in between directing the maids on where to start cleaning. “I’m just older than you. If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a hundred times.”

  “Oh.” Georgiana’s expression became thoughtful. “What do you think she’s like? Will’s never been attached to anyone like this before. There must have been something different about this woman.”

  “Would you really like to know?”

  Georgiana jumped at her brother’s voice and turned to see him standing next to her in the doorway, pale and tired but clean-shaven and wearing fresh clothes.

  “William!” She gasped, putting her hand over her heart. He smiled gently at his sister, finally contrite for the way he’d treated her for the past month. He looked over his shoulder at Mrs. Reynolds.

  “I’m sorry for the state of this room.”

  “Don’t worry yourself,” said the housekeeper, her smile reassuring him. “We’ll have it back in order in no time at all.”

  He nodded, turning back to his sister.

  “Let’s go get some breakfast, Georgie. Mrs. Reynolds, could you have some breakfast brought around to my patio? I think it’s nice enough this morning for eating outside. Better for clearing the air.”

  “I’ll see to it, Mr. Darcy.”

  ***

  Georgiana sagged in her chair, her breakfast sat forgotten and cooling in front of her. She stared off into the magnificent view of the Blue Ridge Mountains without actually seeing any of it.

  “That’s quite a story,” she said at last. Her mouth turned down as if she’d bitten a lemon. “I know I’m the last person in the world to judge good behavior, William, but if you hadn’t told me yourself, I don’t think I would’ve believed it.”

  “Not my finest moments,” he said, agreeing.

  “I can’t believe that you could ever be so crass as to insult a woman like that first of all, but attacking Richard like that after everything he’s been through?” She shook her head and looked out into the distance, unable to meet his eye. “I’ve been angry at you before, Will—hurt by you and upset by you—but this is the first time I can honestly say that I’m ashamed of you.”

  Darcy swallowed and looked at his hands. She couldn’t have chosen her words better.

  “So this woman, this Elizabeth Bennet—you left because she used to see Richard? Surely, this can’t be the first time that’s happened. He’s had so many girlfriends, there was bound to be some overlap.”

  “That’s not…exactly all of it. I’ll only say that she meant much more to him than his usual, er…companions. And I believe that at one time she felt the same way about him.”

  Georgiana’s frown deepened. “You and Richard, in love with the same woman?”

  “At different times in our lives,” he said, hoping that part at least was true.

  “Oh. What a horribly awkward situation—for everyone but for her especially!”

  “Yes, it was damned awkward. And I didn’t help matters either.”

  “You mean there’s more? Oh no, Will.”

  “Well…” There were just some things he’d rather forget, but he’d promised her the truth. They’d always been this way, frank and open. He took a deep breath before speaking again, his words coming out in a rush.

  “Elizabeth may have seen me…in a…er, compromising situation with Caroline.”

  Georgiana was aghast. “Caroline Bingley?”

  “It looked a lot worse than it was,” he said hastily then reconsidered. “No, that’s not true. I was drinking, and that’s no excuse, but I’m sure to her it looked plenty bad. It didn’t…go far.”

  “But…how could you if you were in love with someone else?”

  Darcy sighed. “You’re very young, Georgie. If a child wants a toy that belongs to another, he’d break it to make sure no one is happy.”

  “Are you honestly using an analogy about a toy to describe a woman you supposedly love?” Georgiana seethed. Darcy recoiled as if she’d slapped him. Just when I thought I couldn’t get lower, he thought. His own b
aby sister was there to remind him he had further yet to fall.

  She stood abruptly, turning her back on her brother. When she turned around, her face was livid. “You…you…of all the dimwitted, moronic, self-involved…you think I’m young? Listen to yourself!”

  “Georgie—”

  “Don’t you know? Forget the fact that she’s been after you for years, William. If it wasn’t for that woman, I never would have—” She halted, her hands clenched into fists, unable to continue. He was out of his seat and at her side in a heartbeat.

  “You never would have what, Georgie?”

  Angry tears stood in Georgiana’s blue-green eyes, so like Richard’s. “Who do you think was the one always going on about what a fine young man George Wickham was? Who do you think helped me sneak around behind your back to meet him? I always thought she was my friend, and then we ran away, and I realized that she’d been setting me up the whole time. When we were in New Orleans, George phoned her once asking for money.”

  Darcy somehow managed not to run out the door and back to Netherfield at that moment. To imagine he’d actually felt sorry for Caroline Bingley! “Georgie, why didn’t you tell me all this before? I’ve spent weeks in her company. I’ve slept under her roof!”

  “I didn’t want anyone to know.” Georgiana hid her face in her hands. “I didn’t want anyone to know how foolish I was—how gullible. Running away was bad enough, but to be led into it like a sheep being penned? I was ashamed. I am ashamed. And I didn’t want to hurt Charles.” She sniffed, her face miserable. “Besides me and Richard, he’s the only friend you’ve got. I’m sorry, but that’s true. And he’s so good. It would break his heart to hear that.”

  “Georgie, you know I can’t avoid saying anything now.”

  She nodded. “I know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.” He pulled her forward into a hug, giving her an earnest kiss on the forehead.

  “You haven’t done anything wrong, sweetheart.”

  “You’re still dimwitted. And moronic,” she said, but her words no longer stung. She rested her head against his shoulder as he led her back to the breakfast table.

  “And self-involved, too?” he asked affectionately.

  “Of course.”

  “I am all of those things, yes. But I’m also human. I think you forget sometimes that I am fallible.”

  She sat back down, shaking her head.

  “Really, William. I was prepared to hate this Elizabeth girl for breaking your heart. But now I think I rather see her side of things.”

  “I wouldn’t have you hating her regardless. She never did anything wrong. In all of this, she is truly blameless. And, as you’ve just pointed out, I’m my own worst enemy.”

  Georgiana started buttering her toast, suddenly starving. There was something exhausting about letting go of a secret. “Don’t think I’m not still furious with you, Will, because I am. But why don’t you go find her now? If things are well and truly over between her and Richard.”

  “First, she needs time. Second, even with time, she wouldn’t see me, I’m sure of it,” he said, remembering her shock at discovering him with Caroline.

  “Well, after the way you acted she would be well within the bounds of sanity if she never wanted to see you again. But I’m not so sure that’s the case. Just from what you’ve told me, it sounds as though she did have feelings for you, poor girl. If you could stop feeling sorry for yourself, you might be able to salvage something. Improve her opinion of you at the very least. I think you’re…” Georgiana stopped and shook her head, smiling at her brother. “I think we’re going to have to work on being better people.”

  “She had feelings for me? You really think so?” he asked, a light coming on in his eyes. Georgiana buried her face in her hands, uttering a single word like a curse.

  “Men!”

  ***

  Charlotte turned at the sound behind her, surprised to see Anne DeBourgh coming through the garden hedge. She turned hastily, keeping her eyes on the laundry she was hanging to dry, trying to keep her emotions in check.

  The invitation that had come in the mail the day before had made her feel happy and hopeful for the first time in weeks. Jane Bennet and Charles Bingley had invited the Collinses to their wedding in September.

  Charlotte felt a wave of gratitude towards Jane, who was too good to hold Charlotte’s past behavior against her. She was determined to apologize, to make amends. The thought of seeing Elizabeth again filled her with so much anxiety, but there was no denying how much she missed her best friend. She’d spent the day in good spirits until her husband had seen the invitation.

  She’d expected some resistance, but he’d taken one look at the invitation and torn it to pieces.

  “My cousins have been a bad influence on you, Charlotte. You’re mixing with much better society now.”

  Society wasn’t quite what she’d call it. She’d never felt more isolated or more lonely than she had since Leland Collins had brought her home to Camden. And there were things about her husband that Charlotte thought she could never tell another soul, things he liked to do. She’d taken to wearing longer sleeves to cover the marks from his belt. She couldn’t decide if it was better or worse that his aim was improving. Only her visits with Anne DeBourgh had kept her sane.

  Fighting back tears, Charlotte concentrated on getting the sheets hung properly. She didn’t want Anne to see her cry.

  “Hello there,” Anne said congenially.

  “Hello, Miss Anne.” Charlotte’s greeting was far more subdued. She was surprised to see the other woman away from the confines of Rosings.

  “Here, let me help you with that.” Anne took the end of the wet sheet Charlotte had been struggling with so that it didn’t droop on the ground.

  “Thank you, ma’am,” Charlotte said, flustered. Anne looked puzzled by Charlotte’s change in demeanor.

  “Ma’am? Charlotte, that’s not necessary. My mother is ‘ma’am.’ I’m just Anne.”

  “Of course.” Charlotte managed a tremulous smile. A second later, she covered her face and burst into tears.

  “Charlotte!” Anne was more than alarmed by this sudden change. Gently, Anne pried Charlotte’s hands away from her face.

  “You keep crying, this place is gonna flood,” Anne said tenderly. “I’ll make it my new duck pond.”

  “I—I’m sorry.” Charlotte tried to pull away. Anne, still holding her hands, held fast.

  “Wait, Charlotte,” she whispered. Anne stepped closer, taking Charlotte’s hands and placing them gently around her own waist. She was taller than Charlotte, whose body felt warm and strong against her own. As if she were leading them in a dance, Anne stepped forward with Charlotte still in her arms, until she was sure they were safely hidden behind the freshly laundered sheets hanging on the line.

  Charlotte felt frozen on the cusp of discovering something wonderful and terribly dangerous. She suspected it would be worth every ounce of risk. Anne’s eyes never left hers as she touched her lips to Charlotte’s. The kiss was soft, salted with tears, and the happiest moment of Charlotte’s life.

  She wondered whether she had more happiness to come. After all, she was only a beginner.

  Chapter Fourteen

  June 1949

  Gardiner Home

  Charleston, South Carolina

  Elizabeth was asleep on her feet, eyes watery from the dust she’d been battling all day. Her aunt’s brother was due to visit any moment, and Maddie had kept her niece busy with an extensive amount of cleaning in preparation. Not that Elizabeth had minded the work. She’d allowed her hands to act of their own accord, dusting, polishing, sweeping, and scrubbing until her fingers felt numb, leaving her mind free to wander.

  What am I doing? she asked herself several times. She felt like she had abandoned everything familiar on a half-guided whim.

  She thought of Jane and her father, missing them keenly. She missed Charlotte, but thinking about Charlotte meant thinking about their la
st encounter in Longbourn’s sitting room. She’d sat down on more than one occasion with pen and a fresh sheet of paper but had never gotten any further than Dear Charlotte. What she had to say was bigger than a sheet of paper could contain.

  And, if she were honest, there was a tall, brooding man who she thought of more than any other. Elizabeth hadn’t realized how much she would miss his thoughts, his opinions, and his presence in her life—the smile that lit his face from the inside out. She discovered that the only time she could be free from the softly intrusive thoughts of Will Darcy was when she was practicing her harp. She’d grown new calluses on the pads of her fingers from all the practice lately.

  “There he is!”

  Elizabeth stirred at her aunt’s shout from the other room. She checked her hair and dress in the hall mirror before joining her aunt at the front door. She remembered meeting Jack Burchette once or twice as a girl when visiting the Gardiners, but she was unprepared to see her Aunt’s male double standing in the doorway. She had somehow forgotten that they were twins.

  On closer inspection, Elizabeth could see that Jack was maybe an inch taller than Maddie, his nose slightly longer, and his eyes a lighter shade of hazel. Unlike his sister’s, Jack’s hair was almost entirely gray.

  “Jack!” Maddie cried, embracing her brother fiercely. Jack picked his sister off the floor, spinning her around until she squealed. He put her down and held her at arm’s length, grinning hugely.

  “By God, Maddie, it’s good to see you!” Maddie patted his cheek affectionately. “It’s good to see you too, Bubba.”

  His eyes flicked over to the side, where Elizabeth stood smiling politely.

  “And who is this beauty?” Elizabeth felt heat rising to her cheeks.

  “Jack, do you remember my niece Elizabeth? She’s Fanny’s second.”

  “Now you are just trying to make me feel old. Little Lizzie Bennet is five years old, hiding bullfrogs in my suitcase.” Elizabeth blushed a deeper scarlet, making Jack laugh out loud.

  “I can assure you, she is not,” Elizabeth said, trying to sound light despite her embarrassment. “But maybe don’t cross me, or you are likely to leave with a few stowaways.”