Topsy Turvy Kinda Love

by J Marie

  The look on her face makes me feel like she isn’t really following anything I’m saying. “Hey, Mia. I think he’s into you more so than just an “as friends” basis.”

  “I don’t know, maybe he’s just looking for a hookup. He was totally into me the first day I trained him. When I said the word blowjob, his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, and he even put his hands to his pants button like he was going to let me. He’s got some nice artillery down there and it was more than happy to try and poke its way out. My hot pocket definitely wants to play with his crotch rocket.”

  She sticks out her tongue at me. “Thanks so much for the visual.”

  “Please… you’re far worse than me any day of the week,” I say through a giggle. “Do I need to remind you of all the dirty details from the sex club you went to last week?”

  “God, it was so fucking hot. I still can’t believe it. You should try it sometime. Let someone tie you down and dominate you like a helpless little submissive who will do anything for the big dick that belongs to your master.”

  “Wait… you let people tie you up?” The thought of a sex club intrigues me. It’s something I’d always wanted to try but was never that bold. Don’t get me wrong; I love sex… somedays more than life itself, but I’ve never really been one for exhibitionism. Plus, I’m not sure I could give up that much control.

  “I’ve only ever done it once. It’s definitely an experience. I, personally, prefer to be the one in charge.” She winks at me, and I wonder what she means. I’ve read about sex clubs in books. Zara definitely seems to be more of a dominatrix than a submissive. Or at least that’s how she is in real life.

  “You wanna go some time? I can get you in…”

  “Um. Yeah, thanks for the offer, but I’m going to pass for now.”

  “Your loss…ever change your mind, you let me know. So back to Brooks. I think he’s into you, girl.” I roll my eyes at that, but she keeps going. “Look, I’m serious. You don’t see the way he stares at you as if you’re an angel that’s fallen from heaven just for him.”

  I look up at the ceiling, prickles tingling up my spine. “Gah… no, he doesn’t. He’s just never seen a rainbow-color haired chick that bartends before now. I’m like one of those things that you can’t stop looking at yet can’t turn away from either.”

  “Well, if you don’t see it, then I guess you’re blind. All I’m saying is that you need to be careful with him if things get to the point of between the sheets play. I mean he already tells you that you’re a pixie. Like he thinks you’re a magical creature or something.”

  “Zar…”

  “Look, all I’m saying is that things are about to change for you. You’re Mia, this badass. The, I bring home guys, fuck them, and then run when the feelings get tough. How do you think he’ll feel seeing and hearing you with other men? The guy has a huge crush on you.”

  She sighs. “I’m just saying that him moving in changes things. Whether you want to believe it or not. I think you better think long and hard about all of this stuff. He may be your main dick for a while, so I wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. Cause going without dick for months on end… the agony. And ain’t no one got time to hit up a hotel like a prostitute.”

  “I guess I hadn’t really thought about it.”

  “Well, now’s your chance. Don’t get me wrong, it seems like a match made in roommate heaven. Mr. Hottie McHot Pants moves in. You get dick on the side… but don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”

  “I’m not dating him, Zara. I’m letting him live with me. If we hook up occasionally, then we hook up.”

  “Mia let’s be honest. Brooks is very transparent in his feelings about you, and you can deny it as much as you want to, but there’s more there than you’re letting on.”

  “Great, thanks.” Our previous joint is long gone. The mood between us sober as the high wears off slowly and the thoughts I’d been pushing away start to creep in again. Before they can fully take up residence, I’m rolling up another joint and bringing it to my lips.

  What would happen once he moved in? Would it really be as easy as I thought it’d be? Regardless, I need to clean up some areas, like the living room with my paint and brushes littering it, dump out my ashtray, and pick up the clothes littered throughout my house.

  I get up and slowly meander my way toward her front door. I need to get away, and I hope my retreat isn’t noticed. But Zara being her know it all self, reads it all for what it is.

  “You’re heading out already?”

  “Yeah, got some errands to run before Brooks comes.”

  “Yeah, definitely do it before he comes.” She laughs with a wink.

  “Don’t be gross, I just have some things to do.”

  “Lies, you’re off to go clean-up for the new roomie, aren’t you?”

  A shiver runs through me and I let my imagination about what happens next run wild. “So, sue me.” I don’t even bother hiding my smile about it this time.

  It’s been a slow day. A few college kids started filling in around lunch time and grabbed some food. In the afternoons, the bar is quiet. Study sessions are held in corner booths. Chatter is continual. Zara’s been working with me today. We don’t talk much because I’m not sure how to take her. She’s a lot like Mia, but she also isn’t afraid to go down the perverted train. It’s still weird talking about such things out loud without reproach from anyone.

  The hum of the music bleeds through the speakers, and I whistle along with the song. My eyes find the clock and I can’t help but think about how a certain someone will be coming in to work soon. I’ve been messing with drink recipes and ideas but haven’t come up with anything that jives just yet. I reach for another shot glass and start filling it, thankful that after a year, I’ve finally managed to learn how to make decent tasting drinks. It was an uphill battle, but I’d say it paid off.

  I don’t even realize I’m overpouring the shot until Willie, an old bar patron, clears his throat across the bar. “You’re wasting all that good alcohol on a bar that ain’t gonna appreciate it as much as I will.”

  “Uh…” I look down and realize that the shot glass is in a puddle of whiskey. I’d over poured so much that it was spilling off the side of the bar and onto the floor. “Shoot.” I grab some napkins and try to soak up the alcohol. When did he get here?

  I catch Willie’s laugh. “You got a girl on your mind?”

  “Yeah, you could say that.” He caught me thinking about Mia.

  “Wait, you into that weird haired chick that works nights here, huh?”

  “How’d you know that?”

  “I got eyes, boy. Your eyes follow her around like you’re in dire thirst, and she’s going to provide the rainstorm you so desperately need. I get it. Used to be that way myself a long, long time ago. You get to asking her out on a proper date yet?”

  “Nope, not yet. I’m actually planning on becoming her roommate, so I’m not entirely sure where that leaves us.” My eyes dart between Willie and the bar top.

  He whistles. “Woo-wee, you got some balls, son.”

  My eyebrow quirks. “Why ya say that?”

  “She’s a fiery one, that girl. She’ll chew you up and spit you out before you even get a chance to breathe. Very much an act first, talk later type of person. You don’t seem as outgoing, boy. Haven’t had a chance to talk to ya much. Not sure where you grew up, but it’s clear it wasn’t around here. She’s going to need a man that can stand up to her. That ain’t afraid to tell her what you think. Someone that doesn’t easily bend to her every whim. She’s got a fine ass to go with all that sass. I’m just thinking you need to be ready.”

  “So, what do you recommend I do?”

  “Well, where do you stand with her? Is this a roommate’s only situation or do you think she wants more?”

  I shrug my shoulders because I have no idea. We haven’t talked about it other than her mention that we’re both single. “I’m not sure.”


  “Do you want to rock the boat by dating your roommate where if things go wrong, your potential home could be in jeopardy, or do you want to play it safe and wait on the sidelines pining for her and hoping she doesn’t find someone else to love?”

  Charlie snorts loudly, clearly eavesdropping on our conversation. “Kid called dibs on her the first day he saw her. You here that day, Willie? Man it was a sad sight for sore eyes… He wants to rock the boat.”

  I don’t dispute any of it. She’s been mine for over a year, except she doesn’t technically know it yet. I get a bitter taste in my mouth when I think about how much I want her to be mine. What am I going to do? I want to move in with her to be closer, but I have no idea where this leaves us. We’re both single, and she’s hinted she’s down for whatever, but sometimes I can’t tell when she’s bs-ing me or not. I feel like I know nothing about the woman. That’s probably because it’s true.

  Willie nods. “Sure was, and he’s still entranced by her, it appears.”

  Charlie chuckles. I kick the bar in front of me, not wanting to think about the truth of it.

  “It’s okay, son, I think she likes ya. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t sass you so much. What is it they say… wouldn’t pick on ya if I didn’t like ya?”

  Charlie pipes up. “Yep, that’s it. No doubt about it.”

  “Yeah?” A flicker of hope lights up that one tiny word. It’s a weird feeling thinking about her. I get tingles under my skin that radiate. Take my man card now.

  Willie shoots the shot I re-poured earlier after the spill and wipes his mouth. “Give it time, she’ll be all over ya. Treat her like a lady, turn on that swoony charm I know you have. Bada Bing. Bada Boom.”

  I look away, trying not to let my nerves get the best of me while I ask my next question. I open my mouth to speak, but a laugh erupts from Charlie’s mouth, interrupting me before he points toward Willie. “Wait, you really trying to seek advice from this old guy?”

  “And you’re any better?” Willie looks pointedly at Charlie, clearly offended.

  “Oh, hell no, but I also don’t pretend to know things like you do, old man.” His accusing stare fixes on Willie.

  “Eh, bastards probably right. I don’t know left from right some mornings,” Willie replies.

  I look between them trying to get any other tips that I can. “So what? I just wait and see what happens? Let her make the first move?”

  “Good lord, son. Have you not been listening to anything that’s come out of my damn mouth?” Willie mutters. “Do that and you’ll likely never get laid.”

  A blush creeps up my face and I can’t help my embarrassment about being a virgin at this age. My patience is slowly waning with these two old guys, so I take a deep breath. “What do you think I should do then?”

  “You looking for true love, a ring, two point five kids or you looking for a hookup? That’s the question you gotta ask yourself.” Charlie cuts in.

  I open my mouth once and then close it again. I’m not exactly sure how to respond. This seems like a private topic of discussion, and one maybe I’m not ready to share.

  “I’m looking for…”

  Willie looks over at me with a lifted brow. “I know that look. He’s in love with her. He wants to keep her forever.”

  “The lot of you are saps. Complete saps.” Charlie says before he strolls off to chat with an older lady down the bar.

  Willie raises his brow. “So, Mia Preston, huh?”

  “Yep, the one and only.” I dip my chin slightly so he doesn’t see the double meaning I have behind that comment.

  “So, you’re moving in with her in just a couple of days from now?”

  “That’s the plan. Honestly, I could use any advice you’d like to give me.”

  Willie rubs his jaw. “Son, I could give you all the advice in the world, but it seems like every relationship is different. It depends on the people. What I can tell you is to not take it for granted. Follow her lead. You can rush into things all you like, but love is built on trust and respect. Take it slow, learn her heart and her mind. You’ll figure out what it’ll take to break through to her as you live together. Maybe that’s physical upfront, maybe not. You’ll know.”

  My pulse is pumping faster, thinking about invading her space, maybe getting physical with her. If it were up to me, I’d already be moved in, but I don’t want to rush anything. We’ve got all the time in the world.

  “But what does that mean exactly?”

  “You’ll figure it out. This whole experience is more than likely going to be new for you. I’m assuming you’ve never lived with a female other than your momma before, and I’ll be the first to tell you that some days it’s a battle of wills. It won’t be a picnic. Some days it will try your patience. You’ll want to yell and scream and throw shit. She’ll say something that you don’t understand. You’ll fight but remember to always apologize and never go to bed angry. Never said love was easy and some days you may have to fight for it.”

  “You sound like you seem to know a thing or two about it… Have you been in my situation before?”

  “We aren’t here to talk about me and my shortcomings… we’re here to talk about you and your lady friend. But to answer your question, yes. I made that mistake once. Don’t ever see myself doing it a second time. Old ticker won’t survive another woman like her.”

  Willie shakes his head and sighs loudly. When he’s facing me again, he looks me straight in the eye. Boring into my soul. “Now saying all this… I want you to be careful with your heart. I’ve known Mia for a while now. Never seen her with a guy. Doesn’t have many friends. She doesn’t trust easily, and it takes her a while to warm up to people. Once you’re in her inner circle, she’s loyal to a fault, but also guard yourself.”

  He pauses briefly. “Look, you seem like a good kid. Got a solid head on your shoulders, and I’d hate to see that change over a woman. Many men have been crushed by feelings over a woman. The last thing I want to see is you get hurt over this whole situation.”

  Anger rises at the idea that Mia would do anything to hurt me, but I know he’s just trying to be open minded and make me think about everything. Since starting at Topsy Turvy, Willie has been nothing but the best giver of advice and support. In the end, he means well, but I’m probably not listening to any of his suggestions. I’m all in as far as I’m concerned with this girl. White dress, kids, picket fence… the whole ten yards…

  “Thanks for the advice.”

  He knocks on the bar top before getting up, and an echo rings out across the bar. “You have yourself a good night and good luck. I’ll be seeing ya.”

  His words replay through my mind the rest of the night while I continue making drinks and refilling beer. Maybe it will be the story of a lifetime and maybe it’ll all go down in flames. Regardless I’m not backing down from the challenge.

  Mia comes in five minutes early, like always by the telltale sign of her perfume. That cotton candy smell I just can’t get enough of these days- an alluring scent filled with possibilities and what’s to come.

  “Hey, Brooks. How’s it shaking?” Her lips part into a gorgeous smile with that quirky tilt.

  “Slow start this morning, but things have been picking up this afternoon. About twice as many people here now as there were earlier.”

  “You all packed up yet?” I watch as she moves to her station to get her well set up for the evening. She seems so at ease and natural in her environment. Like she’s been doing this for years. It’s mesmerizing… well, she is.

  “Nah, finally getting around to it tonight. I don’t have that much to move. Anything else you need help with before I head out tonight?” I get my station cleaned up and shut down for the night.

  “Nope, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Sure will.” I smile once more before turning to leave for the night. I have things to pack up and get ready at home. Wyatt moved out earlier this morning, so it’s just my stuff in our apartment. He’ll be back on Fri
day to help me move over to Mia’s place. A thrill of excitement shoots through my veins at moving in with my crush.

  I paint another stroke over the same line I’ve been going over for the last fifteen minutes, and my hand shakes. My nerves are out of control today. I take another hit of my joint, hoping it’ll take the edge off. I allow my eyes to crawl across the room. Although I’ve already cleaned up, I know there’s still a few things out of place. He probably won’t even notice, but I know they’re there, so it’s going to bug me. Dust on the bookshelves. Artwork littered throughout my apartment. I’m sure there’s a bra or two stuffed somewhere…. Maybe a thong out of place.

  Taunting me.

  This is the first roommate I’ve ever had. I still can’t believe I offered. My hand trembles again, and I shake it out. A shaky hand is the worst thing for an artist. It really fucks with a straight line. Why the hell am I so nervous?

  A knock on my front door pulls my attention away from the stubborn black line in front of me. Brooks is here… to move in with me. He’s patiently waiting just beyond my front door, waiting for me to open it so I can invite him into my home. I saw him earlier this week, but it’s a different feeling. Like I’m going to vomit. I would call them butterflies, but I don’t believe in that or anything love related.

  My heart jackhammers an uneven rhythm in my chest and not even weed can calm it right now. If anything, my senses are heightened. Breathing is the hardest thing I can manage. I snuff out my joint against an ashtray and put my paintbrush in a cup of water beside the canvas—something to come back to later.

  I give myself a pep talk. There’s no reason to freak out. I make my way to the mirror in my living room, fixing my hair. I make eye contact with myself. You are Mia fucking Preston and you are a badass. You got this.

  Brooks is hot as fuck, I’ll give him that, but I’m not down for a relationship right now… or ever. I do one-night stands and casual hookups, that’s it. Fulfilling my sexual desires and needs, it’s just physical.