by J Marie
Just as sleep is taking me under, I hear footsteps. The sheet rustles behind me, and the mattress dips. Brooks slips in front of me but stays on his own side.
Thank God.
His cologne’s heady scent worships my nostrils, and I breathe it in deeply. He’s taken off his shirt too because I can feel the heat radiating off his body. My fingers trail along his chest and play with the little bit of hair that runs across it. He lifts his hand, cupping my cheek, and kissing me on the lips. Heat shoots through me, but the desire for sleep is too overwhelming.
We lay there in silence for a few minutes longer. His steady beating heart is like a lullaby drifting me off to dreamland. He’s claimed me, heart and soul. He may not be perfect, but he’s everything good and pure in a man. He’s not perfect by any means, but our imperfections mar together perfectly.
“I don’t think I can do this!” she screams at me, squeezing the life out of my hand as she pushes.
“You’re doing great, Mia. You’re almost done. Just a little bit more.” I wipe a washcloth over her forehead, trying to get some of the sweat on her brow.
“Why are you rubbing my head like a dog?”
“You’re sweating, my beautiful girl.”
She glares at me. “Don’t call me that. Ever again. In fact, let’s go with never. I’m not beautiful right now. I’m gross.”
I shake my head. “You don’t mean that Mia.”
She swears like a sailor again and squeezes my already dying hand. “That goes for your dick too. I never want to see your amazingly large dick. I thought it ruined me, instead, it’s your children. Murdering me slowly from the inside out and I hate you.”
“Okay, hate me, Mia. As long as you push, you can hate me as long as you want to.”
“Good, because I really, really want to murder you right now… with a sharpened pencil, because a gun would be too painless.”
Okay, I think to myself. The crazy is in the building. I don’t react to her lashing out. I know she’s in a great deal of pain. She refused an epidural, and I’m fairly positive that she’s regretting that decision very much right now.
“Get it out of me. It’s splitting me in half!” she’s yelling again as our doctor smiles and looks up at me.
“You’re doing great, Mia. Only a couple more pushes, and baby number one will be here with us.”
“Are you sure I can’t have that epidural? It sounds really good right about now…”
“Yes, I’m sure, Mia. One more big push. You’re so close.”
Mia grits her teeth and pushes one more time, and the sweetest sound hits my ears. A loud, piercing scream. Mia falls back onto the bed, heaving and breathing heavily.
I lean over to kiss her, giving her every single praise I can think of because she’s literally pushed a baby out of her V, as she likes to call it, and there’s still one to go. I’m so damn proud of her.
“You have a beautiful baby boy, ” Dr. Morgan announces with a smile. My heart only grows as I watch the nurse take our little guy over to the table and wipe him clean. His lungs are definitely fully developed because he hasn’t stopped screaming since he came out.
“You have a very healthy little guy here. Looks like he’s eighteen inches and six pounds, one ounce. And very good lungs. My, oh my.” She smiles.
“Okay, Mia. We’ve got one more baby in there who wants to meet you.”
“I don’t think I can do this, Dr. M.” She adamantly shakes her head.
“You’re strong, Mia. You’re the strongest person I know. You can do this,” I say to her in a low voice.
She nods her head, a sheen of sweat on her forehead slipping down her chest. “Okay, okay.”
A couple more minutes of pushing and a second shrieking cry pierces through the air. “A beautiful baby girl.”
The nurse does the same thing with our baby girl. Taking her over to the table to clean her off. She’s not screaming like her brother, but she did cry a little. “Another very healthy little girl. She’s seventeen inches and five pounds, eight ounces. She’s adorable, you two.”
I thought my heart couldn’t take anymore, but it beats furiously within me, a happy melody. The melody of hope. Of new beginnings. Of a furious love that can’t be taken away. Our little girl is swept away to be cleaned up a little before the nurse looks up and asks the question I’ve been waiting for since we got here earlier today.
“Do you want to hold them?”
I nod yes at the same time, Mia says yes. She looks exhausted. Sweat coats her hair, and her face is flushed from pushing. Her breathing has calmed slightly, but it’s still heavier than normal. The nurse swaddles our little bundles up and is walking them over to Mia, instructing her to lift the gown so they can have skin to skin bonding time. They’re placed gently on her chest, and tears stream down her face. Mia looks up at me. “We did it, babe. They’re here, and they’re beautiful.”
“You did it, Pixie. I’m so damn proud and happy right now.”
She raises her hand and runs a finger along his chubby little cheeks, cooing softly to our twins. My heart beats wildly in my chest, my pulse strong with love for all three of them. At this moment, my life is perfect. I lean over and kiss his blonde peach fuzz head, followed by her dark fuzz head. “Welcome to the world, Wesley Greyson and Piper Brielle. We’re your mom and dad.”
“Which last name do you want to use, Mia?”
“Jansen.”
“Are you sure?”
“Well, I’m hoping that someday soon we’ll all be Jansen’s.” She smiles a teary smile and looks back at the bundles of joy in her arms.
“I like the sound of that. Well then, welcome to the world, Wesley Greyson and Piper Brielle Jansen. We love you so much, little ones.” I run my forefinger over Wesley’s hand, and he reaches out to latch onto me. My heart melts. I’m absolutely done for with one simple touch. There I go again, collecting tiny moments of treasure along my lifetime. Each time I experience something new and exciting, I’m reminded that I knew nothing when I first asked if I could breathe without a heartbeat.
“They’re perfect.”
I look at her. “Just like you.”
“No, just like us. Two perfectly imperfect creatures making a perfectly imperfect, awkward, and topsy turvy life together.”
I’d gone in search of tea early the next morning. It proved a success after I finally found the cafeteria. I open the door to our hospital room, and Mia’s soft snores welcome me. I look over to the babies and watch as their little arms and legs move within the swaddle they’re wrapped up in.
It was a rough night for Mia. She’d slept lightly, waking every time Wesley or Piper moved. The nurse had shown her how to get each baby to latch onto her, and it’d taken a few times for them to get the hang of it, but my kiddos are smart cookies. I glide using soft steps across the floor to my chair beside the bed and sit down.
Flowers litter the room, painting each table in bright colors. The floral scent mixes with the sterile smells of a typical hospital room, making it almost bearable. Most have accompanying balloons and cards that say “Congrats,” “It’s a girl,” or “It’s a boy.” A few stuffed animals are scattered throughout as well.
All of our friends sent their well wishes. Macy and Trevor. Zara and Don. Trevor’s parents. It still hurt not being able to tell my parents that I was finally happy and exactly where I’m meant to be, but I chose this life. I chose to walk away. Best damn decision I’ve ever made.
Don, as I’d taken to calling him, came back a little later on without Zara, and we chatted for a while, catching up on everything that’s happened since he left. I still find it hard to believe he owns a sex club, but he’s doing what he wants to do, same as me.
Tears blur my vision as I look at my sleeping girlfriend and the gift she’s given me in Wesley and Piper.
I’m exhausted. Every time Mia was up, I was up. Sleep calls to me, but I can’t pry my eyes away from my precious family in front of me. My eyes trail over Mia. S
he stopped dying her hair once Dr. Morgan told her she couldn’t in the first trimester. It’s a silky strawberry blonde color. It fits her, but I much prefer her rainbow-colored glory. It’s much more her. She stirs when I reach out to hold her hand, and sapphire blue eyes meet mine. “Shhh, go to sleep, my Pixie girl. I’m just gonna sit here and rock our little ones.”
She nods, and her eyes flutter shut again at my command. Sleep takes her soon enough, and her soft breathing tells me she’s out. The tea I’m holding may be cold by the time she wakes up, but I know where the source is now so I can get it for her whenever.
The babies start cooing, and I’m drawn to them. Lifting them out of the hospital edition cribs, I return to my seat and start swaying slowly, my motions putting them back to sleep. The nurse suggested that I take off my shirt and let both babies’ bond with me, skin to skin like they did with Mia yesterday, but we’ll do it later. Right now, I just want to hold these little miracles in front of me. I lean over and kiss Wesley and then Piper’s forehead softly like I do to their mom. It’s become second nature to me.
Mia’s eyes drift open again, and she groans. “Do you know what that does for me?”
“What does?”
“You sitting there looking so manly holding our children in your arms?” she purrs. It’s been a while since we’ve had sex, and I miss it but I wouldn’t change this for the world. The way Mia is looking at me right now makes me want to strip naked and do dirty things to her, but I resist. I don’t need to be thinking about anything like that with the little ones right in front of me. That’s indecent.
“Stop ogling, Mia.”
“I can’t help it. It’s like the worst best mommy porno right now.”
“Six long agonizing weeks, Mia. No sexy time until then.”
“We can do other stuff though.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me.
“You need to sleep, ma’am. You’ll need all the rest you can get, so take it while you can. If you behave and do as you’re told, I may show you my cock later.”
“Oooo, how about you send me a dick pic? That was on our list, and we never got to it. We still have so many things we haven’t tried yet.”
“Mia…” I warn her.
“I know, I know. Sleep.”
She goes to close her eyes again and then sighs. “Brooks?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry about all the mean and hurtful things that potentially came out of my mouth yesterday.”
“Already forgiven. I expected nothing less. You were incredibly brave foregoing that epidural.”
“I was a moron.”
“You’re amazing. Just remember that for next time.”
“There will be no more next time for a very long time.”
“Just to be clear, are we talking about another baby or sex? Because I have an issue with the no more sex thing…”
“Oh, loads and loads of sex, Brooks. You can’t get out of that one. Even when I’m old and gray, I’ll still be asking to ride you like a stripper pole.”
I chuckle a hearty laugh, quickly quieting when I remember the sleeping babies.
“Go to sleep, my sexy lady. We need some baby daddy bonding time.”
She grumbles but complies with my request. Seconds later, she relaxes back into her pillow and hits dreamland.
I look down at my children. Wesley’s blonde hair sticks out like he’s been having a really bad hair day, and I can’t help but laugh. I wondered what he would look like when he was finally here. He reminds me of his mom. Cute little nose, blue eyes, blonde peach fuzz, but I see me in him too, especially in those little dimples. Leaning down, I bring my lips to his little forehead and plant a kiss, inhaling his baby scent—the scent of new life, of miracles.
Piper, however, is a stark contrast to her brother. Her hair is darker like mine, and everything’s in place. She already has a frown marring her perfect little face and I hope that doesn’t speak of what’s to come. I see alot of Mia in her facial features and smile. It’s still hard to believe that now we have twins. Two little ones to care for instead of just one. It means double of everything, but I’m ready for all of it because I finally got the girl.
Piper starts to fall asleep, and I stand up slowly and return her to the hospital crib. I just want to hold my little boy and look at those cute blue eyes.
Sitting back down, I allow my finger to run slowly down his soft skin and a little hand reaches out to grab my pinkie. Something explodes in my chest, and a hole I didn’t even know existed seals itself tightly. Everything in this single moment has made me feel whole, complete. Each phase of this relationship with Mia has given me something more. The touch of my children has given my life so much more meaning than I could ever imagine. I’m collecting all of these memories and storing them in my mind.
For the second time in my life, I feel an intense connection. I knew from the moment Mia’s eyes met mine that she was it for me, and I feel it the same way when I look at these sweet babies.
Is it too soon to admit that my life is way too fulfilling? Gorgeous girlfriend that I hope will someday be my wife, a beautiful baby boy who is peacefully cooing in my arms, holding my pinkie finger, and a cute little girl fast asleep in her crib. My hope is that they never experience being unloved or feeling unwanted. My hope is that they grow up strong and knowing that they’re the best thing that’s ever happened to Mia and I. Neither may have been planned, but they’re little six pound blessings.
We sit there for what seems like hours before I hear Mia stir again. Little mister gets grumpy, and I wonder if he needs a diaper change. I smell him and grimace… yep, that’s a new diaper needed for sure. Without trying to wake Mia up, I walk him over to the table and start changing his diaper. I pull back the front flap and am met with a urinating baby. Pee is going all over me, and I’m trying to cover it like a water valve that won’t shut off. I hear laughter behind me and look over to find Mia watching.
“Isn’t he magical?”
“Magical isn’t the specific word I was thinking, no,” I grumble, frustrated. “How much pee does this kid have in there?”
She shakes her head. “Welcome to parenthood, Brooksy.”
“Gahh… let’s hope there’s a shower in here. Thank God I brought another set of clothes.” I hadn’t planned on getting peed on, but I threw in an extra set just in case.
I finish changing the diaper, and Mia asks to hold Wesley. I wrap him up and walk him over to her. Watching as she unlatches her hospital gown and allows him to latch on. I should probably give them privacy, but I can’t stop watching this intimate moment before me.
“Lucky guy.”
“Brooks…”
“What? I miss booby time, and now I won’t get it for a while.”
“Believe me, it’s not as pleasant as it looks…”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
Walking over, I lean down to my baby girl again and kiss her forehead. “Look at us, Mia. Hardcore adulting. We did it. You did it. We have the most beautiful little gifts in the world.”
“Was it all worth it?”
“It was always worth it. You, Wesley, and Piper will always be more than just worth it to me. You’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more.”
The gallery buzzes with enthusiasm. A lot of people came tonight just to see my work. For so many years, I kept my most precious works hidden from the world; it’s nice to see them lined against the walls, hearing people talk about them like masterpieces. Each swirl, line, or circle just another worry of my past blending into the canvas of my life.
I’d lived many lives through each of these paintings, being transported from one place to another just with the simple stroke of a brush. Almost as if each stroke was washing yet another sin from my body. Making me forget the past and the horrible people that came with it.
It’d been ten months since I’d had Wesley and Piper. Brooks and I had fallen into a pattern every day, and we’re enjoying every second of our little ones g
rowing up. It’s hard to believe that our twins will be a year old in just two months. They’d come with us tonight, but Macy and Trevor offered to watch both babies so I could mingle with my guests.
Hip hop music plays softly in the background, and I sway to it from where I stand. Brooks comes up behind me, kissing my bare shoulder. “Here’s to you, Mia.” He holds out a bright pink drink in his hand.
“What’s this?”
“Well, I had the caterers make the new drink I’ve been working on for the bar. It’s called… The Topsy Turvy.”
“Mmm… it looks amazing, what’s in it?”
“A little grenadine, orange liqueur, a dash of simple syrup, sweetened lime juice, and Código 1530 Rosa Tequila.”
“You know what tequila does to me, right?”
“I like what tequila does to you.” He winks at me, and I can’t help but smile.
“So, why the celebration juice?”
“You mean, you don’t know? You’ve almost sold out, Mia.”
My eyebrows raise. “Really? People actually want to buy my pieces?”
“Yes, really. I told you they were amazing from day one. You just needed a little nudge in the right direction.”
“Thank you, Brooks. Really… for everything. Making me believe in love. Believing in me when I was fighting the one thing I didn’t know I needed. Letting me run, but always remembering to pull me back. Loving me in our crazy, unconventional way.”
“I think it should be the other way around. I should be thanking you.”
The corners of my lips tip up into a smile. “Thanking me for what?”
I notice that all of our friends have started gathering around us, and I wonder if this is finally the moment that Brooks is going to make good on his promise. Macy and Trevor bring over a sleeping Wesley and Piper. I smile. I love them to pieces. No matter how many sleepless nights or diaper changes we have along the way.
My attention turns back to Brooks.