by Leta Blake
He could see the Sunsphere, the distinctive Knoxville iconic building, from where he stood—round and shining with morning light on its reflective gold glass. Looking down at his work boots, he knew he didn’t belong here. This was the land of suits and skirts, polished shoes, and ties. It wasn’t the place for callused, dirty hands and frayed blue jeans.
Still, he had to try. For Casey. And for himself.
He wasn’t devoid of pride, after all. He still had some left in there somewhere. And he’d show Jonathan Stevens what it meant to have a working man’s pride, what someone like him was willing to give up for the happiness of the man he loved.
“Joel.” Jonathan Stevens’s voice held all the disapproval that a father could muster for a friend deemed a bad influence on a beloved son.
“Mr. Stevens.” Joel turned around to put out his hand. “Good morning.”
Jonathan tilted his head and considered Joel a moment but took his hand after only the briefest hesitation. His handshake was firm, and Joel tried to balance his end of it.
Releasing Joel’s hand and moving behind his desk, Jonathan asked bluntly, “Why are you here?”
His throat went dry, but he stood his ground. “I wanted to talk to you about Casey.”
“Unless you’re here to tell me that you see the sense in ending things with him, then I don’t think we have much to say, and you can see yourself out.”
Joel sat down in the chair opposite Jonathan’s desk. “That’s just it. I think we do agree on some important things. Like that Casey won’t be happy with me. Not in the long run, anyway.”
He hoped deep down that wasn’t true. There was no way he could deny to himself what he’d seen the night before in Casey’s eyes: the love, the devotion. Nor could he deny his own returning feelings for Casey, or his new, optimistic hope that Casey was right, and they could, in the end, be happy together forever. But for Casey’s sake, he could fake this certainty in Casey’s eventual loss of interest to convince Jonathan Stevens not to cut him off.
Jonathan stared at him, disbelieving. “So, you’re here to…what? Ask for some money to bug off and break his heart? Because if that’s the case, name your price. Six hundred? A thousand? Five thousand? If it’s reasonable, we have a deal.”
Joel stared at the man behind the desk—his well-ordered in-and-out boxes, his tidy hair and slick suit. What sort of monster was under all that co-opted “class” that he’d think Joel could be bought? “No, I don’t want any money from you.”
“What then?”
Joel lifted his chin. “Just give him time to realize it on his own. How long will it be before he gets the picture? A month? At most a year, right? Casey’s not an idiot. He’ll see how little we have in common, and when things have cooled off between us—” Jonathan visibly winced, and Joel resisted the urge to smirk. He continued, “He’ll go on to find a wealthy, handsome man like Walker Ronson to be with.” Saying the words hurt, but hearing them stated aloud, he was even more certain they weren’t true. Casey loved him. He loved him wholeheartedly, and Walker Ronson and men like him couldn’t compete with what they shared.
“You don’t really believe that, do you?” Jonathan asked, snorting incredulously. He rolled his eyes, and his blond brows lowered darkly. “Have you met my son? He’s stubborn and has his heart set on you.”
“If that’s the case, then what do you hope to accomplish by cutting him off? You’re just going to make him dig his heels in even more. You should have heard him this morning. He’s determined to go out and get a job, use his savings to pay for tuition at UT, and move into my trailer with me!” Joel leaned forward, speaking slowly. “Don’t you see? You’re pushing him away, and if you’ll just let this happen, it will end on its own.”
Joel willed Jonathan to believe that his and Casey’s romance would end in a natural death. On paper, the outcome made sense because love didn’t fix everything and it didn’t make them a good fit. No matter what his heart said, no matter how much they loved each other, arguably they shouldn’t work. Never mind that they did work, and they would work if Joel had his way. It was still worth a try to convince Jonathan that he and Casey wouldn’t make it if it meant Casey could graduate from NYU.
“I told your father back in the day. I warned him that the two of you were drawn to each other like magnets. I should have moved us out of that neighborhood before Casey set his stubborn sights on you.”
Joel kept quiet.
“You’re an idiot, but it’s also clear that I’m an idiot as well.” Jonathan leaned forward and steepled his fingers together. “So, what are you proposing? I give my blessing and leave it to you? So you can, what? Sabotage this relationship in some way?”
“It won’t need to go as far as sabotage. It will naturally self-destruct,” he lied. It seemed absurd that he’d believed these words himself just a day ago. But now he felt certain that no matter how hard he was trying to sell this to Jonathan, both of them probably saw the truth: he and Casey were too far in, and always had been, for their love to die.
Jonathan laughed and shook his head. “Ah. Well, I’d call that shortsighted on your part. Do you really lack so much confidence in my son’s affections?”
Joel frowned. It almost sounded like Jonathan wanted Joel to fight for Casey. Like he wanted Joel to believe he could have Casey forever. Why?
“Mr. Stevens, please. Allow Casey to return to NYU to finish his degree.”
Jonathan raised a brow. “He’s supposed to start at Wharton in the fall, but he’s told me he plans to stay here. With you.”
“I know. I understand why you want him to go to Wharton. Trust me, I’ll be in his rearview before it’s time for him to start there.” The lie felt so obvious. Jonathan had to see through it.
Joel already had a plan for the Wharton contingency: he’d sell Vreeland’s and follow Casey to Pennsylvania if he decided to follow his parents’ wishes and attend. Hell, Joel would follow Casey to the ends of the earth if he had to. But he couldn’t afford to pay his last semester at NYU; only Jonathan could do that.
Jonathan shook his head in obvious disbelief, his tongue clucking in his closed mouth, and Joel wondered if he’d failed in his mission. “Who made you feel so worthless? Your father?” He sighed. “I can believe it. He was always a bastard.”
Look who’s talking. Joel stayed silent.
Jonathan stood and turned to look out the window behind his desk. His powerful shoulders stretched out his suit jacket. “Well, whatever the case. Deanna isn’t happy. With me, I mean. She wants her boy home for the holidays. She wants him home whenever and however he’ll agree to come. Even if that means bringing you along with him. Say I do this. I just let you be together.” He kept his voice calm. “What guarantee do I have that you’ll cut him loose?”
“I won’t cut him loose. He’ll walk away. It’s just a matter of time.”
“For some reason, I don’t think that’s a bet I’m willing to make. But I’ll tell you what,” he said, turning back around. “I’ll add something to this to sweeten the pot. I’ll pay you ten thousand dollars if you break it off with him by New Year’s Eve.”
Joel shook his head, sickness rising within.
“Eleven thousand. Twelve thousand.”
“No.” Joel’s stomach churned. He wanted to punch the man for thinking Joel would turn his back on Casey for cash. “All I’m asking of you is that you have faith.”
“In what, exactly?”
“In my ability to fuck things up.”
Jonathan shook his head. “Let me tell you a story about Casey.”
Joel swallowed and kept his mouth shut.
“When he was a kid, he was stubborn as hell. He’d throw tantrums on his mother and me when he didn’t get his way. So, I did what my father did when I was a kid. Took a belt to him. Tried to force him to conform to what I wanted.”
Joel clenched his fists. He couldn’t believe Jonathan talked about that so casually. God, he really wanted to punch the smug basta
rd.
“It didn’t work. All it did is make him quiet. Now he doesn’t talk to me. Now he keeps his opinions and his life to himself. Now he goes behind my back and falls in love with the likes of you.”
“You knew he cared about me.”
Jonathan smiled bitterly. “I had eyes. And a parent knows their child, even when they don’t know them at all.”
Joel frowned but didn’t push it with questions.
“When he was twelve, I put the belt away, and I never used it again. Do you know why?”
“No.”
“Because I realized that every time I used the belt, I lost. It just drove Casey farther from me and from what I wanted for him.” His shoulders slumped, and he turned back to the window. “The threats I made the other night are just another belt. I know that. I felt it when I was saying the words. I love my son. I truly do. But some part of me won’t easily accept that I can’t force him to be the man I want him to be.”
Joel stared at the back of Jonathan’s blond head. It wasn’t an apology, and it wasn’t a promise, but it was close enough, maybe. Bittersweet pain washed over him. He’d never see his own father in a moment of self-reflection like this one. The closest he’d ever get would be the dark ruminations of regret when his father wished him never born. Casey’s father was an asshole, but he didn’t seem to be an irredeemable one. Not yet anyway.
“So, Joel,” Jonathan said, turning back around, the backlighting from the window hiding the exact expression on his face. “You can have your way. We’ll let this thing go on naturally. I don’t think I have any choice in the matter really, between my son and my wife. But I want you to make a bet with me.”
He frowned, rising from his seat to meet Jonathan’s gaze better. “What’s that?”
“If you’re still around by next Christmas, you’ll come to me and apologize for having so little faith in him.”
Joel’s throat tightened, confusion churning in his chest. “And if I’m right? If he does leave?” Shh, he soothed himself internally, Casey loves you.
“Then I’ll send a note with my condolences and a very nice Christmas bonus.”
Joel shook his head. “No money.”
Jonathan shrugged. “We’ll see.” He put out his hand. “Do we have an agreement?”
Joel studied his face, seeing the tired lines around his eyes and mouth and the resignation in his expression. “Yes. It’s a deal.”
They shook on it.
As Joel left the office, he wondered how it was that he’d come to bet against Casey, and that Jonathan, who made no bones about his disapproval, had come to bet on their relationship actually succeeding.
His heart quivered with hope and desperate love. He’d never wanted to lose a bet so much.
“Casey?” Deanna asked through the closed bedroom door. “Can we talk?”
He’d arrived earlier than his father’s expected return from work for the express purpose of feeling out his mother. Now that she was here, though, returned from taking Courtney to the airport, he wasn’t sure he was ready to talk with her.
Casey took a slow, deep breath and remembered what Ann had said about standing his ground. He opened the door and gestured for her to come in. She wore a pair of soft jeans and a flowing, crushed-velvet shirt with long, bell-shaped sleeves. Her hair wasn’t styled with product, and she looked as tired as Casey felt, but not nearly as wild.
Deanna sighed, smoothing down her hair as she sat gingerly on the side of the guest room bed. He continued to sort and pack up what he’d brought. He bit the side of his cheek rather than ask what he should do about all the stuff in his apartment in New York if they weren’t paying for it anymore. He guessed he could ask his landlord to deal with it, but that would be pricey and… Well, he just didn’t know what was going to happen now.
“Joel isn’t my first choice for you,” his mother said softly, her eyes filling with tears. “But I don’t agree with what your father said the other night either. I don’t think cutting you off and kicking you out of our lives is the right way to handle this.”
“Me either,” Casey agreed, stopping what he was doing to turn the desk chair around and have a seat, willing to listen.
“Courtney is furious with him.”
“I’m not too happy with him either.”
“And I imagine Joel must feel…” She shook her head. “I’m sorry for how he must have taken all of this.”
“Dad made him feel like the scum of the earth, like he wasn’t worthy of sharing the ground we walk on. And frankly, you weren’t much better. Couldn’t you have been a little more welcoming? A little more understanding?”
His mother’s shoulders drew up tight. “What about you? You couldn’t have, oh, I don’t know, been honest with me? Letting me believe you were just friends with him when all along—”
“Not all along. This is brand new. We were just friends back in high school, and I hadn’t talked to him for years until I came home on this trip.”
“Regardless, you didn’t even tell me what was happening. Instead you just let me find out there with everyone watching when he showed up on our doorstep.”
Casey sighed. “That’s a valid point. But if it had been Theo, you wouldn’t have minded.”
“No. I wouldn’t have,” she agreed, her eyes cast down again. “But Theo was different. He was—”
“Wealthy. High class. What else was he?”
“Charming.”
“And not the man I love,” Casey said firmly.
“Yes. That seems to be true.” She sighed and shook her head distantly. “Courtney says I’ve become a snob.”
Casey laughed outright. “You think?”
“When I married your father, I was a nothing, you know. A little nobody from nowhere. Uneducated and working at the grocery store in Friendsville. He was out there for a business meeting, working some petroleum accounts, and he stopped in to buy some apple juice for his drive home. That’s when he saw me. He said he knew the moment we locked eyes that I was the one for him.”
Casey had heard this story before, but he let her tell it again.
“It took me a few months to believe that a man like him, a man with a good job and a big future, was interested in a poor, ignorant girl like me. And then, when I finally started to believe it, I let myself fall for him too.” She shrugged. “I felt so bad about myself back then, like I’d never be as good as these women he kept introducing me to, the wives of his business associates. But it wasn’t long before I found out where he came from, the poverty and the despair he’d been raised in too. And that’s when I understood he felt exactly the same way I did.” She smiled sadly. “We’ve spent years trying to stop feeling like imposters, to prove to ourselves and everyone around us that we belong here.”
“Mom…” Casey sighed. “Joel’s just the same as you once were. A normal guy trying to make his life. He’s not trying to ruin our family.”
“I know,” she said carefully before taking a deep breath and blowing it out. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I realize that, and while I can’t pretend to understand what you see in him, I’m still sorry for my part in all of this mess.”
Casey wished that was enough, but it probably wouldn’t be. Not for a long time. But it was a start, and that was more than he could say for what Joel had with his father, which was nothing but endings.
She smiled sadly. “So, you really do care about him?”
“I love him. And he loves me.”
“Love?” She tilted her head. “It’s so fast. Just a few days.”
“You just said dad knew the moment you met.”
“Yes, but… Well, yes.” She reached out to take Casey’s hand and touched the ring. She looked up at Casey with questions in her eyes.
“I’ve known Joel for years, really. We know everything important about each other. And I’ve always loved him.”
She nodded. “I suppose that’s true.”
He pulled his hand away and smiled down at th
e ring on his finger. She stared at it, too, but said nothing more.
“So, what happens now?” Casey asked when the silence grew too long. The worry that had gnawed at him despite the joy of new love took another bite into his gut.
“Your father isn’t going to cut you off. That’s absurd.” She rolled her eyes. “I’ll make sure of that. Don’t worry. Everything is going to be okay.”
“Deanna!” His father’s voice echoed up the stairs, and they caught each other’s eyes. “Deanna! Casey! Time to talk!”
Tension filled the space between them. “It’ll be okay,” Casey said, wondering why he was the one saying it and not her.
She took hold of his arm, her nails digging in hard.
They left the room together, and Casey wondered if he would ever have a sense of easiness with his family again. Surely once he proved to his parents that Joel was good enough, smart enough, and wonderful enough to be part of their family, things would go back to normal. Or maybe even better than they’d been before. Maybe they’d find a way to really love each other, for their true selves.
He ran his shaking hands through his hair and descended the stairs beside his mother, praying he wasn’t wrong.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Joel pulled his Chevy into the driveway well after dark, but there were lights on in the trailer, and he could see Casey’s shadow in the kitchen window moving around, probably making some kind of dinner.
It was a new experience to come home to someone. He sat in his car, looking at the half-melted snow and the shadow moving inside, trying to decide if he liked it or if he loved it. His heart fluttered, and he couldn’t stop his grin.
“Hey honey, I’m home,” he said sardonically as he pulled off his coat and hung it up, patting an almost demure Bruno on the head. He was much calmer having had Casey with him already and not having spent the whole day alone.
“Hey there.” Casey came around the corner in fresh jeans and a Harkening T-shirt he’d clearly picked up that day from his parents’ place. “I’m making burgers and veggies. Hope you saved room.”